It’s almost April and it’s almost baseball season again! There’s something great about getting out to the ballpark on a nice spring or summer day and seeing two teams battling each other, having a cold beer (or soda if you’re under 21), and having some overpriced food to go along with it. But no one does baseball food like the minor leagues. It can be the Luther Burger (a bacon cheeseburger served in a grilled Krispy Kreme doughnut), or the deep-fried slider (great with ranch dressing, but then again, what isn’t?), but what the West Michigan Whitecaps have cooked up… three words describe it: OH. MY. GOD.

It’s almost April and it’s almost baseball season again! There’s something great about getting out to the ballpark on a nice spring or summer day and seeing two teams battling each other, having a cold beer (or soda if you’re under 21), and having some overpriced food to go along with it. But no one does baseball food like the minor leagues. It can be the Luther Burger (a bacon cheeseburger served in a grilled Krispy Kreme doughnut), or the deep-fried slider (great with ranch dressing, but then again, what isn’t?), but what the West Michigan Whitecaps have cooked up… three words describe it: OH. MY. GOD.

Behold the face of God.

Straight from the pages of This Is Why You're Fat (which outside of Outsports' Jock Talk Blog, is the greatest blog ever), comes the Five Thirds burger. Five beef patties smothered in nacho cheese, a cup of chili, loads of salsa, a couple of heaping handfuls of Fritos, almost an entire tomato sliced up and nearly a cup full of shredded lettuce served on a 8-inch sesame seed bun.

Now, if you do happen to get to a Whitecaps game and are on your diet, here's some nutritional info: Saturated Fat total? A hair under 200 grams. Sodium count? Roughly 10,000mg. Atkins people, the carb count is a modest 354g! Total calories count? Oh, about 4890. Mmm mmm, good! The Whitecaps are charging $20 for this thing and say you can feed a family of four with it. But of course, if you're willing to go it alone, you can win a shiny new T-shirt if you manage to finish it without suffering a cardiac arrest. Where is (the absolutely adorable) Adam Richman when you need him?

For the record, if you can finish this off, would you mind going to a Lake Elsinore Storm game afterwards? They're giving away a product you'll be in dire need of. God, I love minor league baseball!

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