Howard Bragman channels Dr. Seuss, declining all Michael Sam interview requests with a poem

"I am the rep for Michael Sam, I am. He would not like to chat with the press, In a suit or in a dress."

From day one the media strategy behind Michael Sam's coming out has been to do interviews with ESPN, The New York Times and Sports Illustrated, have Outsports do a behind-the-scenes piece, and then have Sam focus on training for the NFL Combine. He has one of the biggest days of his life on Feb. 24 in Indianapolis, and he can't be doing media interviews while he focuses.

For the last couple of days, his publicist Howard Bragman has been using a Dr. Seuss-inspired poem to, as politely as possible, decline interview requests. Appropriately, it's been inspired by Green Eggs and Ham's "Sam I Am."

"Our strategy was always to do the initial interviews, we would do them well, and then Michael's focus would be football," Bragman told Outsports. "We haven't made him available for anything, no outlets, no reporters, not even people who have called who go by one name. Instead of writing the same email, "no thank you," I was getting four hours of sleep a night and got a little punchy."

This is the poem that media outlets from the biggest in the world to the smallest local papers, who have largely been respectful and understood the reasoning, have received from Bragman:

I am the rep for Michael Sam
I am

He would not like to chat with the press
In a suit or in a dress

He would not like them
Here or there
He would not like them
anywhere.

He would not like them
in a house
He would not like them
with a mouse

He would not do them
on a box
He would not do them
with a fox

He would not ,
could not,
in a car

You may want him.
You will see.
You may want him
in a tree

He would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let him be.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could he, would he
on a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Michael Sam! Let him be!
He would not, could not, in a box.
He could not, would not, with a fox.
He will not do them with a mouse
He will not do them in a house.
He will not do them here or there.
He will not do them anywhere.


Would he, could he, in the dark?
He would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would he, could he,
in the rain?
He would not, could not, in the rain.

Not in the dark. Not on a train,
Not in a car, Not in a tree.
He does not do them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
He will not do them here or there.
He will not do them anywhere!

Could he, would he,
with a goat?

He would not,
could not.
with a goat!

Would he, could he,
on a boat?

He could not, would not, on a boat.
He will not, will not, with a goat.
He will not do them in the rain.
He will not do them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let him be!
He does not like them in a box.
He does not like them with a fox.
He will not do them in a house.
He will not do them with a mouse.
He will not do them here or there.
He will not do them ANYWHERE!

* With apologies to Dr. Seuss

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