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No Fun Leagues and Gay Hoop Dreamin' By Randy Boyd
Talk about No Fun League. But that’s what you get with a watered-down NFL that spreads talent too thin through free agency, salary caps and too many teams. Not to mention scheduling policies that turn basement teams into frontrunners within the span of twelve months. American sports thrive on dynasties, on teams you either love or hate, no ambiguity allowed. Ratings prove time and again that people would much rather watch the Chicago unbeata-Bulls, America’s Team Cowboys or Those Damn Yankees over the Cincinnati Reds, Atlanta Hawks and Tampa Bays of the world (Tampa Bay Anything). Which is why both the NBA and the Lakers (basketball segue) are in such dire straits right now (and why the NBA rigged last year’s finals to go against Indiana). On one hand, the bickering, hair-pulling and secret hand signals of the LA Flakers is good soap opera for the league. Not since Dennis Rodman’s groin-kicking heyday has there been this much fodder for Leno (and let’s face it: since the demise of the Taco Bell Chihuahua, Jay is the pulse of America’s young, testosterone-driven male). On the other hand, if All Phil Jackson’s Children don’t quit it already with the Days of Our Lives-type plots (Jerry Buss=Stefano???), the first NBA dynasty of the new millennium might crumble faster than the resolve of a Temptation Island contestant. If that happens, watch for the NBA’s ratings and attendance to continue to plummet and don’t be surprise if Commish Stern scrapes off some DNA from underneath Jordan’s fingernails and takes it to one of those sheep cloning labs. Personally, we here at Ballin’ HQ are enjoying the Lakers’ War of Egos and mounting L’s, but if anyone can make the sandbox shenanigans work to their advantage for another title, it’s Dr. Jackson (with a little help from the NBA front office, of course). Gay Hoop Dreamin’MLK weekend brought together homosexual ballers (and at least one gay-friendly hoop hottie) from all over the country for the inaugural Hillcrest Classic in San Diego (Hillcrest=West Hollywood for the uninitiated). Teams came from as far away as New York, DC, Atlanta and Chicago (along with the usual suspects from SF, LA and Long Beach). Players were black, white, brown and yellow (and not just yellow bruthas!). Age range: early 20s to late 30s mostly. How did they ball? How did they act? (You know you want to know that, too.) Ballin’ had a courtside view and put it this way: the average male sports fan could have walked into any one of the three gyms the tourney was played in over the weekend, seen a bunch of guys balling, and wouldn’t have had one clue that many of the weekend jocks on the court were also on the International Male catalogue mailing list, that some of the players chilling on the sidelines between games were frequent flyers on cruisingforsex.com, that half the guys in the gym had seen the musical Rent half a dozen times (and know the show’s lyrics), that more than one tourney participant sets their VCRs for both Will and Grace AND Queer As Folk, that—OK, OK, I’ll stop … But seriously, for every fag-baiting, narrow-minded-stereotyping, George-W.-Bush voting, Florida-ballot hiding, no-gays-in-the-military-supporting, bible-thumping “American” out there, this is one more aspect of “the lifestyle” that they need to feast their eyes on: bald-headed bruthas taking it baseline and dunking, Latino boys dribbling between their legs, white guys who can jump and shoot the trey. Gay guys who know about and play sports. And play well enough to hold their own in any non-NBA civilian’s dude league in this country. But how can we expect straight America to know about Gay Men Who Ball if most gays don’t? Who outside the players, their boyfriends and a few loyal athletic supporters know about the many gay hoop leagues and tourneys across the USA? When’s the last time you read about gay ball in your local gay rag? (When’s the last time you ran across a porno video review, dance music column or mainstream Hollywood movie review in that same rag?) “But what can I do about it?” you might be saying right about now. Visit San Diego Hoops online, where they’ll be putting up tourney pics and results. E-mail your local gay rag and tell them you want more articles about non-circuit boy gay life and give them some examples of topics that interest you. Visit www.gaybasketball.com to learn about the leagues and tournaments near you and check them out!!! In SD for the tourney, there was a guy on one of the San Francisco teams …Neder was his last name? …a hard, muscled body you could watch shooting J’s all day (the nights would be a different story) … and for those who like theirs dipped in chocolate, Larry of San Diego has on-the-court moves like MJ, off the court personality like Magic and looks like the cute young, multi-talented black man he is. And there were many more men who had both looks and skillz. So what are you waiting for? Get the word out. HOOP HOTTIES OF THE WEEK They’re all in San Diego, or at least they were for the Hillcrest Classic. Check them out at San Diego Hoops online. NOTE: Final results of the tourney were not available at press time. Visit San Diego Hoops online for stats and results. |
Baltimore-New
York? Well, that should be exciting. When was the last time
Baltimore vs. New York in anything was worth national hype and an
all-day partyfest? Survivor Outback should sue CBS for the
weak warm-up act. And what a slap in the face of Cleveland that the real
Browns finally got past their conference championship jinx and made
it to a Super Bowl as Art Modell’s Ravens.