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E-mail us at mail@outsports.com Other Randy Boyd Columns: Love,
Divorce and Basketball |
Randy Boyd’s latest novel, Bridge
Across the Ocean, about a friendship between a black gay man and
two straight white teenage brothers, has been called “important”
by XY Magazine, “powerful” by the Lambda Book Report,
and “distasteful” by the New York Blade. Judge for
yourself, and check out the controversy at www.westbeachbooks.com Why Sucky Things Happen to Upset-Minded Teams With Big Leads By Randy Boyd
The truly super part of Super Sunday came in the form of Survivor. Sure, it’s been touched by Hollywood, but the show is the one way we humans can communally experience what it must have been like in the days (and cold, fireless nights) before cybersex, the printing press, the wheel. The test of endurance against every inch of nature, the need to band together with your fellow tribesmen, the need to leave the weak links behind, the personality conflicts, the treachery, the backstabbing, the fear. And not one LA Laker in sight! (Basketball segue, even though this is not another column about the soon-to-be ex champs.) When I was a little black boy growing up during the Indiana Hoosiers one-loss-in-two-years reign over college basketball, Dad was a psychic. We’d be sitting in front of the tube, watching those brothers with afros and white boys with hair over their ears running Bobby’s motion offense like robots, and more often than not, Dad knew the outcome, even if IU was struggling or down by a bunch, especially if IU was struggling or down by a bunch. Every team got up for the Hoosiers back then. If it was in the opponents’ gym, the fans went postal, oftentimes enough to will their team to a seemingly insurmountable lead. I’d be readying myself to accept defeat and devastation (and retire my lucky black socks which were the real reason for the Hoosiers success in those days), but Dad would calmly proclaim, “IU’ll win.” “Come on Dad, Northwestern is up by 20 at half.” “Get real, Pops, two minutes to go and Purdue is up by 50.” “All Michigan has to do is make the front end of a one-and-the-bonus free-throw.” He’d just laugh (and smile inwardly I suspect) when by the time the clock struck double zero, the Hoosiers would still be unbeaten (except once, but Kentucky cheated. That’s another story). I’d always ask my dad how he knew IU would come back and win. “Because the other teams freak out,” he’d say, then go on to explain that some teams (and people) just can’t handle prosperity, not because they can’t achieve it, but because they don’t believe they can achieve it. These teams start to think to themselves, “oh, my god, we’re beating the number one team!” instead of focusing on the task at hand. From there, it’s just a turnover away from “we’ve got a 15 point lead with six minutes to go, oh, my god, can we hold on?” and “we’re not supposed to be in the game at this point!” And then there’s the all-time classic, self-fulfilling prophecy of defeat: “I can’t believe this is happening!” If you can’t believe it, how can it happen? Thus my jaw dropped recently when Maryland froze up and blew a 10-point lead to Duke with under a minute to go in regulation, but I was far from surprised. Stunned but not surprised. It happens time and again. In sports. In life. All you have to do is punt the ball a normal distance and put the other team 90 yards away from the goal line with 30 seconds to play. The snap goes over the punter’s head, is recovered by other team, who then kicks a field goal to win. You’re talking to the hottest man at the party with the widest, sweetest eyes that say “You’re beautiful, too.” You can’t believe your luck. You can’t believe this guy is interested in you. You don’t believe it. You don’t get it. You don’t get him. You say or do something stupid, uncease the moment, walk away dateless. There was a huge slogan painted in red on the hallway leading to the locker room of the private school I went to for junior high. ``BELIEVE'' it said. Dad said it another way. “It’s all in the mind.” Or as we here at Ballin’ have been known to put it: “Don’t boink.” HOOP HOTTIE OF THE WEEK
Can’t get enough Randy? Check out his column that goes Under the Bleachers on straightacting.com. |
What
a Super Sunday it was. Not that one-sided game in Tampa which was
constantly interrupted by homophobic commercials (fat, ugly
Riverdancing men, gigantic, ballet-dancing football men, effeminate,
pom-pom waving Jack In The Box cheerleader men … you see, boys
and girls, there are certain things men must not do else they become
a source of ridicule). 
Tony
Gonzalez TE Kansas City Chiefs.