Ballin'

Getting Off On the Playoffs

By Randy Boyd
For Outsports.com

Come on, all you nay Sayers, ya gotta admit: This beats March Madness any day of the week (you won’t find an NBA team playing as crappy as Maryland did in the final showdown). 

The NBA playoffs is where the big boys eat. Where superstars are made (“Kobe to Will Smith—er—Robert Horry in the corner …. Good!!!!”) and not made (“Malone at the line, needs to sink it … oh … the Jazz sing the blues once again. Anybody tired of that tune?”). Where most any given night, you can turn on the tube and watch the world’s best athletes performing at their peak (the Portland Trailblazers and Minnesota T’wolves notwithstanding). 

Even with Wally Szczerbiak sent home for the summer, this stuff is FANtastic. Ya gotta love this game. Even when you hate some of the more agonizing moments (somebody please put the New Orleans Hornets outta their misery). 

Here now, some the topics du jour swirling around the Ballin’ water cooler in, this, the early going of the playoffs: 

Young and Stupid People Need to Shut Up and Just Do It: The Pacers’ Jermaine (He’s No Shaquille!) O’Neal has a good half in Game 1 against Jersey, then mouths off on and off the court for the next few days. Next thing you know, he’s disappeared from the scoring and rebounding column, thanks in part of Nets enforcer, the more mature (!) Kenyon Martin. To top it off, Jermaine misses from the stripe when it counts the most to help cost Indiana pivotal Game 3. 

Part 2: Tracy Austin—er, McGrady—complains mid-series that he’s surrounded by nobodies for teammates, unlike the Hornets’ Baron Davis, who’s got a much better supporting cast. Magic coach Doc Rivers tries to make some magic of his own by putting a more flattering spin on Tracy’s words, but it’s still stings. We suggest Tracy get 11 new teammates in the off-season, or do a lot of exercise to make up for all the crow he’ll need to eat. 

What Was He Thinking: Hot Dude in Aisle 5? Maybe referee Bernie Fryer was trying out a dance move he’d just seen from the Magic Girls. Otherwise, how do you explain his waving off with such confidence and passion Baron Davis’s heroic bomb to beat Orlando? What game was Fryer watching? Baron got the shot off with enough time to go get a hot dog (or taunt a certain Charlotte Hornet for his taste in men). Good thing the Hornets ended up winning in OT and saving the ref’s and the NBA’s ass. But geez! 

OK, So Now Sacramento’s Ready, Right? Maybe Chris Webber and the Kings got their one Arco Arena misstep out of the way against Utah. After all, what are the chances they’ll lose two games at arguably the best home environment in all of pro sports (calm down, Packers fans)? And if they don’t lose again at home, they’re NBA champs. Period. 

You Know … In the Right Light, Maybe He Isn’t So Bad: Maybe we were too quick to judge. Maybe we’ve been jaded from watching too many clones in porno movies. But Dirk Nowitzki is actually starting to look better and better. Is it his confident aura? Is it the made-for-Turner coif? Is it that cute little patch of blond fur on his chin? Is it the way he knocks down J’s with the greatest of ease? 

Whatever it is, Dirk and Dallas are fun to watch. And Michael Finley continues to amaze. We at Ballin’ saw the former Wisconsin Badger sink a long bomb of a three at the buzzer to beat the then-powerful Pacers in Indy a few years ago, back when Dallas was struggling to win 10 games a year. Finley is special. Dallas is special. The Kings-Mavs series could be classic, under-control hyper ball, something we haven’t seen much of in recent years. And a player or two on each squad has a good shot of becoming part of playoff lore and elevating his name by elevating his game. 

Bring it on, baby. 

More Randy, more sports: Under the Bleachers at straightacting.com.

Randy's Outsports archive

May 1, 2002