Baseball

For a season overview see Baseball main page.

By Charlie in the Trees
For Outsports

1. 1. MINNESOTA TWINS

Hot Twink: Doug Mientkiewicz  (right) A self-described “fat chick magnet.”  Great looks.  Even better personality.  Newbies: Ron Gardenhire (manager), Mike Jackson, Kurt Abbott.  Goners: Tom Kelly (manager), Todd Jones Upside:: No team is more motivated to win this season.  The Twinks are fighting for the franchise’s very survival.  Commissioner Bud’s attempted annexing of the Minnesota market for his moribund M’waukee Brewers unified this team.  But the Twins have more than intangibles.  They have the best starting pitching and the best defense (which makes pitching even better), by far, in their division. Downside: Bullpen.  Bench.  Losing the best manager in baseball, Tom Kelly (two World Series championships in the only two playoff appearances for a team no one ever thought was the most talented – pretty good evidence of his skills). Bottom Line: Does defense win championships?  Torii Hunter in center, and Doug Mientkiewicz at first, won Gold Gloves.  Deservedly so.  Corey Koskie at third, and Cristian Guzman at shortstop, are not far behind.  If someone emerges as the closer (and it won’t be La Troy Hawkins), this team could go to the ALCS. 2001 record: 85-77, 2nd place   2002 prediction: 89-73, 1st place

2. CHICAGO WHITE SOX

White Hot Sock: Joe Crede Young cutie could/should take over third base. He's about 10 pounds of muscle away from graduating to "totally hot" status. Newbies: Kenny Lofton, Todd Ritchie, Ryan Kohlmeier Goners: Chris Singleton, Herbert Perry, David Wells, Kip Wells, Sean Lowe, Cal Eldred, Alan Embree Upside: So much young talent, especially pitching. The Pale Hose had looked like a team ready to dominate for the next five years, until they started picking up useless, used-up veterans. (I won't name names, but if I did, I would say "Kenny Lofton" and "Todd Ritchie.") Still, the key parts weren't traded, young guns like Mark Buehrle and Jon Garland. And Magglio Ordonez continues as one of the game's most anonymous superstars. He'd have TV commercials in saturation rotation if he placed on the north side. Downside: Frank Thomas is no longer the "Big Hurt." He's deteriorated into merely a "Dull Ache." Bottom Line: This team will go as far as its young starters carry them. The best guess is the continuing development of this staff will leave two or three holes in the rotation that even the deep bullpen cannot fill. 2001 record: 83-79, 3rd place 2002 prediction: 86-76, 2nd place

3. CLEVELAND INDIANS

Hot Tribesman: Danys Baez Compared to some of the tubs on this staff, even JOAN Baez would look hot Newbies: Brady Anderson, Mike Lansing, Matt Lawton, Mark Wohlers Goners: Roberto Alomar, Juan Gonzalez, John Rocker, Dave Burba, Kenny Lofton, Marty Cordova, Steve Woodard Upside: Despite a major talent exodus, they can only drop so far. Detroit and the K.C. Royals form an impenetrable barrier between the Tribe and non-contending status. Indian pitchers such as Bartolo Colon, C.C. Sabathia, and homophobe closer Bob Wickman, will prevent the Tribe from getting out-of-control awful as they rebuild. Think the John Rocker/Carl Everett situation in Texas has baseball's most explosive potential? Think again. Given Wickman's alleged abusive behavior toward gay former Yankee employee Paul Priore, how about Fat Bob versus, oh say, for not particular reason, new Indian leftfielder Brady Anderson? Sounds like Mike Timlin would think that situation was a problem. (Am I being too Dennis Miller cryptic with those last comments?) Downside: Fat. Fat. Fat. And more fat. This is a fat pitching staff and fat pitchers have a history of burning out early. C.C. Sabathia. Bartolo Colon. Fat Bob Wickman. All tubs. Even Jaret Wright is a wide body. Inexplicably, even though Wright has not pitched effectively since the '97 playoffs, Tribe management is counting on a Wright comeback to be keep them competitive. Bottom Line: Too much of a talent drain for this team to be competitive, especially with brain-dead Charlie Manuel running the team. Major bad sign that the Tribe signed 38-year old Brady Anderson and his .202 average (didn't notice he got it back above .200), and then penciled him in to start in left field. 2001 record: 91-71, 1st place 2002 prediction: 80-82, 3rd place

4. DETROIT TIGERS

Hot Tiger: Mitch Meluskey Two catchers. Two absolute studs in the persons of Meluskey and Brandon Inge. Since Inge may get sent to the minors because of a horrible spring, the nod goes to the veteran. Newbies: Dave Dombrowski (Team President), Dmitri Young, Jacob Cruz, Craig Paquette Goners: Roger Cedeno, Juan Encarnacion, Tony Clark, Deivi Cruz, Chris Holt Upside: The Dave Dombrowski Era begins in Detroit. Dombrowski was brilliant in Florida. In 1997, he did what many have attempted, but few but the Yankees do successfully: he bought a World Series championship. Then, when ordered to hold a fire sale, Dombrowski sold off the championship parts for excellent young talent that is now maturing in South Florida. First good sign: this off-season, the Tigers shed themselves of a number of useless players who were never going to develop into legit big leaguers. Second good sign: major upgrade at first base with Dmitri Young. Downside: This team will not be able to score many runs. Fortunately, in roomy Comerica, with the Tigers having a halfway decent starting rotation, the visitors won't, either. Bottom Line: After nine straight losing seasons, manager Phil Garner has got to coach a team to a winning record again sometime. Just not this year. 2001 record: 66-96, 4th place 2002 prediction: 76-86, 4th place

5. KANSAS CITY ROYALS

Hot Royal: Carlos Beltran This team may not win, but with Beltran, Mark Quinn, Mike Sweeney, Chad Durbin, Chuck Knoblauch, Jeff Suppan and Luis Alicea, they certainly will look plenty hot not doing it. Newbies: Chuck Knoblauch, Michael Tucker Goners: Gregg Zaun Upside: The hottest looking team in baseball. At least until they start pitching, hitting and fielding. Mike Sweeney will be on a contract drive this season, as he stated he will not negotiate a new contract once the season begins. And back in the pastoral Midwest, Chuck Knoblauch should rejuvenate this career without all that New York pressure. Downside: So much is so wrong with this team. But the most glaring shortcoming is manager. With Joe Kerrigan canned in Boston, the Royals' much-maligned Tony Muser unquestionably is baseball's worst manager. Yeah, the Royals lack of quality pitching and not enough bats in the line-up would doom a team managed by a superior baseball. But with Muser in charge, that theory won't get tested. Bottom Line: A couple of years ago, this team was on the verge of returning to its George Brett/Amos Otis/Whitey Herzog glory days. After giving away Johnny Damon and Jermaine Dye, and with Sweeney on the verge of walking, the Royals are on the verge of disaster. (Interestingly, the Royals re-acquired Michael Tucker to take Dye's place in right. Tucker is the guy they traded to get Dye a few years ago, before Dye was a rock star.) 2001 record: 65-97, last place 2002 prediction: 68-94, last place