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Stop the World, There's a Tournament Going On

One Man's Obsession With All Things College Basketball


By Jonathan Miller
For Outsports.com

The madness has begun, not just for the college basketball world, but also for me. This time of year has made me go crazy since I was 7. I picked 14th-seeded Xavier over 3rd-seeded Nebraska, and it happened. The result has made me permanently insane for all Marches since.

Every February I start to figure out what teams will make it into the tournament. This list of 64, now 65 teams, gets updated every week. By the time Selection Sunday has arrived, I have a list of teams that I believe will make it. I am almost always right. Sometimes I am off by a team, this year included (Charlotte made it over my pick Butler). But 64 out of 65 isn’t half bad. Some might say this is mad behavior, but I don’t know any other way.

When the games begin, a new madness begins for me. Since I started attending UCLA in 1998 I have always taken off the first Thursday and Friday of the tournament. Nothing else is of concern to me except basketball. This has really always been the case; considering I would “be sick” from school in my youth just to see the games. I wanted to be the one who wrote the winners of each game on the master copy of the brackets for our family competition. But since 1998 I have taken it a step further.

I ditch school and work to go to the local sports bar and watch every game. They have satellite TV and at 9 a.m. the bar opens and I go in, find the best table and order a beer. A beer at 9 a.m. might sound a little weird, but this is March Madness and normalcy has disappeared. The staff chats with me about what a freak I am, and the next customer (always another freak like me) comes in about 20 minutes after I am there. About 10 p.m., after the final game I leave for home. I go online and read everything I can from the analysts I admire. Come 2 a.m. I go to sleep. The next day, I do it all over again.

The only bad thing with this whole plan is that the tournament is in March. I have finals the next week after the opening weekend. School comes second, basketball first. This has hurt me a little, and even slowed the process of getting my degree.

A Professor Understands

It does have its advantages, though. I recall one time when, luckily enough, the first Friday was St. Patrick’s Day. The bar was going off. I got a bit lit, and then remembered that I needed to talk to a professor about dropping her class. I went up to her office where she was counseling fellow students about the upcoming final. When she saw me, she just stared and asked what I had been doing all day. What I failed to realize was that I had a temporary St. Patrick’s Day tattoo on my forehead, six glowing buttons on, a license plate advertising a beer company hanging around my neck, and a face that could light up a room. I informed her that I needed to drop her class and that it was because of basketball and the tournament. She loved my reason, told me that she would join me later that night at the bar, and insisted that I take a class she was teaching next quarter. Nothing like a prof who understands the nature of a lunatic.

My stories can't compare to what happens on the court, and this year will be no different. The tournament has the strongest field ever top to bottom and the West Region will be the big story, as is by far the toughest region.

Upsets will also be a huge story, and I see them coming from schools that have already had success in past tournaments. Look for #14 Valparaiso to beat #3 Kentucky, #12 Missouri to beat #5 Miami, and my upset special #15 Hampton over #2 Connecticut. I personally don’t consider 10 or 11 seeds to be huge underdogs, so I don’t count them. But I will tell you that I have 10 seeds winning 3 out of the 4 games. My Final Four is most definitely biased towards the West Coast: I see #1 Maryland vs. #2 Oregon, and #4 USC vs. #6 Gonzaga. As for my champion, well I won’t give away all my secrets. Let’s just say that this tournament is going to the birds.

Now all that’s left is watching the games. I will be at my seat once again in my local bar watching the upsets and putting the world on hold. I will be screaming with the loudest and crying with the saddest (UCLA gets me every year). I will also be spending with the richest, but these two days a year, I truly don’t care about finances. All I care about are the games, the bar, and the stories. 

Jonathan Miller is a senior at UCLA majoring in environmental studies. He grew up in a sports-oriented family and participated in basketball, baseball, swimming, and soccer. His dream is to be a college basketball coach or a college basketball analyst.

March 11, 2002

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