College B'ball

Hoop Dreams 2003
Why the NCAA Tournament is Still Better than the Oscars

By Cyd Zeigler jr.
Outsports.com

How many times have you said, “Hollywood couldn’t even write this?"

Whether it’s Tyus Edney driving the length of the court in four seconds that propels UCLA to the National Championship, or the Hampton Pirates beating the Iowa State Cyclones for maybe the biggest upset in tournament history, you simply can’t write drama like it unfolds – live and in real life – for three weeks in the most dramatic sporting event in the country.

It's the NCAA men's basketball tournament--``The Road to the Final Four,'' ``The Big Dance,'' ``March Madness.'' While both the Oscars and the tournament are hard-fought battles--the former between studios and the latter between colleges, basketball has a leg up on the Oscars. It isn't decided by a subjective ballot vote by the brothers, daughters, and hair dressers of the AMPAS voters; it's decided by 20-year-olds on a 94-foot floor in a series of 40-minute games that would beat out any Best Picture winner for drama and excitement.

What would you rather see:  20-year-old young men crying, hugging one another after a hard-fought physical battle, or Rene Zellweger putting on those fake tears, that high pitched scream, and a dress the size of Texas?  Would you rather see tightly buttoned-up suits applauding humbly in the audience, or shirtless frat boys, letters painted on their chests, baseball caps backwards, chanting in unison, “we’re #1”?

Gangs of New York or Boys from Nebraska?  The Pianist or the Dancing Tree?  Chicago or New Orleans?

No brainer.

If you're a big March Madness fan whose boyfriend doesn't understand why you just ordered a $50 package from DirectTV and are stocking the fridge with bad beer and frozen pizzas, send him here. And, if you're that boyfriend who thinks March Madness is Joan Rivers dissing Oscars fashion, read on . . .

THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH
The NCAA Tournament is a single-elimination (one loss and you're out) event hosted in 13 different cities over three weeks, involving 65 teams. To win the tournament, a team has to win six games in a row, with the final being played April 1 in Atlanta. When someone unexpectedly calls in sick on Thursday and Friday on consecutive weeks, chances are they have stayed home with that above-mentioned DirectTV package.

GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER
Since 1985, 64 teams have been invited to play in the tournament each year. Since 2001, a 65th team gets an invitation, with the two worst teams playing a play-in game the Tuesday before the tournament actually begins. There are four regions--East, West, South and Midwest--and teams are seeded from 1 to 16 in a given region. The four best teams get seeded #1 in their respective region; the four worst teams get seeded #16. For example, Kentucky, the choice of many experts to win it all, is seeded #1 in the South. In the first round, they will play #16 Indiana University – Purde University – Indianapolis (IUPUI), considered one of the worst teams in the tournament.  A 16-seed has never won a game in the tournament.

OPERATION CONSPIRACY
The last month of NCAA basketball has been marred by controversies that have prevented a couple deserving teams from attending the tournament.  Academic fraud at the University of Georgia, involving the son of head coach Jim Harrick, drove the Georgia administration to ban its own team from the tournament.  Georgia would have been seeded somewhere from 2-4.  Fresno State did the same thing due to infractions involving former head coach Jerry Tarkanian.  Same thing at St. Bonaventure, which drove its players to vote to boycott their final two games of the season.  What’s a shame is that all three of these teams are sitting at home in March due to the shortcomings of the administration and coaches – and the kids get punished.

THE PRIEST
When the tournament selection committee handed down its Field of 65, it made a glaring error that could disrupt every bracket pool – an annual staple for offices across America – being played.  BYU is operated by the Mormon church.  BYU has a policy of not playing games on Sundays due to religious convictions.  If BYU wins its first three games, they will have to play a Sunday game.  They’ll refuse.  The NCAA’s solution:  if BYU wins its first two games, they’ll switch their part of the bracket with the Midwest section featuring Dayton, Wisconsin, Weber State and Tulsa and play on Thursday and Saturday.  And every bracket pool would go up in smoke.

HOWARD THE DUCK
The loudest uniforms in the tournament belong to the Oregon Ducks.  Instead of donning green uniforms as the road team, they have been opting for a bright, blaring yellow.  The goal has been to blind their opponents and, in the Pac-10 tournament, winning it as a 5-seed, they succeeded.

COACH
A couple bright, young coaches continue their quest for the upper echelon this season.  Missouri (#6 in the Midwest) coach Quin Snyder has been said by Tony Kornheiser to have the “best head of hair in college basketball.”  Billy Donovan of Florida (#2 in the South), with his slicked-back hair, high cheek bones and snappy attire, is another favorite.

BRUCE WEBER MAKES AN APPEARANCE
Bruce Weber will be coaching a team in the NCAA Tournament – and how fitting that it should be the Salukis.  Southern Illinois’ coach, Bruce Weber, was named the Missouri Valley Conference Coach of the Year for 2003 , leading his team to the regular season title.  So, when you hear the announcers talk about “Bruce Weber’s boys,” you’ll know you haven’t accidentally turned to ShowTime.

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT
One of the fun pieces of the NCAA Tournament is that it brings to light some of the wacky nicknames and mascots that teams have.  Instead of simply nicknaming themselves the “Wildcats,” the University of Vermont sports the nickname, “Catamounts.”  Pennsylvania is the ever-intimidating “Quakers.”  San Diego goes ethnic with the “Toreros,” which is a matador.  Austin Peay goes the political rout with the “Governors.”  Troy State is the incredibly original “Trojans.”  Western Kentucky is the “Hilltoppers.”  Central Michigan takes on a Native American name:  the “Chippewas.”  Stanford was once the Indians but is now the Cardinal – the color; but their mascot is a dancing tree.  Sometimes that tree is a palm; sometimes an evergreen.  This year, it’s a spruce with a hat and a long tongue . . . .

TWINS
There are three Bulldogs this year:  UNC-Asheville, South Carolina State, Gonzaga; two of the Wildcats got #1 seeds (Kentucky and Arizona) while the third one (Weber State) got stuck at #12; while there’s only one Bearcat (Cincinnati), there’s also a Bearkat (Sam Houston) ; there are also two Seahawks:  Wagner and UNC-Wilmington.

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST
There is no bigger drama queen in college basketball than ESPN's loud-mouthed commentator, Dick Vitale. Imagine Gilbert Gottfried hosting the Oscars and you get an idea of what basketball fans have to put up with. Vitale's ear-to-ear grin has nearly worn out its welcome everywhere except college campuses where he is still God. When he's not doing his shtick and talking about "P.T.P'ers, baby!," he actually has some good stuff to say.

THE LAST EMPEROR
The Maryland Terrapins knocked off the Indiana Hoosiers in the final game of the tournament in Atlanta, winning the National Championship, 64-52.  It was the second year in a row that a team from the ACC won the tournament, with Duke winning in 2001.

IT’S MY PARTY
The tournament culminates with the Final Four – the four teams having survived their Regional brackets – in New Orleans on April 5 & 7.

THE CRYING GAME
When the final game is over, and a champion is crowned, CBS will air a five-minute segment - a montage of footage from the tournament set to David Barrett's song, "One Shining Moment." And in those five minutes, as we watch three weeks of triumph and heartache unfold before us, even the straightest, most masculine man has his heartstrings tugged, and maybe even a tear shed. And if he tells you otherwise, don't believe it.

OTHER TIDBITS TO IMPRESS YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH
The West Regional – with Arizona, Kansas, Duke, Illinois and Notre Dame – is unanimously considered the toughest regional . . . Connecticut has to travel the furthest of any team in the first round:  2,756 miles from Storrs, Conn. To Spokane, Wash. . . . Louisville’s head coach, Rick Pitino, is the formerly-loved head coach at the University of Kentucky; the two teams are both in the tournament but can’t play each other until the final.