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Sports and Gay
Visibility
Why Coming Out Is Such a Powerful
Statement
By
Dave Lohse
For Outsports.com
(This is the text of a speech Dave
Lohse gave Aug. 16 to the Triangle Business and Professional Guild in
North Carolina).
I want to thank the Board of Directors of
the Triangle Business and Professional Guild for allowing me the
privilege of speaking to this group tonight. Let me assure you this is
a great thrill for me. I have a real passion for the subject upon
which I will speak tonight and although I know that sports may not be
at the top of the list of favorite subjects for a GLBT audience I am
thrilled to have the opportunity to convey a message about an area in
which the closet is still all too pervasive I am afraid to say. And
for you sports fans out there, hopefully this will be a treat.
Over the past several years I’ve had opportunities like this to speak
to different groups about my life in sports and about my observations
about how the sports culture treats gays, lesbians and bisexuals. I
don’t want to slight transgendered people in this speech but I would
say that if a transgendered person can successfully hide in the sports
closet that individual has some amazing skills. The task seems
overwhelming.
Many of the target audiences of my talks have been predominantly
straight. I had a chance last summer to attend the annual conference
on Sports, Media and Ethics held at the University of Rhode Island.
They had a panel discussion on “Homophobia in Sports” and the crowd
was made up of an overwhelmingly straight, male and white audience. It
was a thrill to reach that segment of the media and expose them to
these important issues, but I can also say I am blessed tonight to be
able to talk to many of my own kind. It’s nice to see a lot of
familiar faces out there.
The Cubbies and "Oklahoma"
Over the past 28 years I have devoted
myself to a profession that is a dream for me. My love of sports dates
back to my formative years in Griffith, Indiana, a town of about
20,000 people in Northwest Indiana. Growing up a mere 35-minute drive
from downtown Chicago I got to see my beloved Chicago Cubs play on a
regular basis from the age of 8 and my love affair with sports began
then, long before I had any inkling that I was gay. Of course a second
monumental moment in my life also came at the age of 8 when my parents
allowed me to purchase my first ever album at a discount store in
suburban Chicago. I somehow think there was some handwriting on the
wall when I chose the soundtrack to the 1956 movie musical “Oklahoma,”
but I’ll allow you to be the judge of that.
My love for sports, my passion for sports never left me and even
though I eventually figured out I was gay—I was a slow learner on this
one--the idea of forsaking my first love never occurred to me. In
fact, I found a way to turn that love affair into a job. And luckily
it is the only job I have ever had in my life, full-time that is, as
the associate sports information director at the University of North
Carolina at Chapel Hill. My apologies go out now to all the State,
Duke, Wake and ECU fans in the room and I hope this won’t be too
painful an experience for you.
Moving to Chapel Hill in August 1977 to take my position at Carolina
after completing my undergraduate degree at Purdue University, I had
pretty well come to grips with the fact that I favored men in my
life—at least I thought they were the real hotties. I think my true
passion for men in sports was kindled by Olympic gold medal winning
swimmer Don Schollander, a blonde from Yale, who was one of many
American stars at the 1964 Summer Olympics in Tokyo. Of course I was
only 9 at the time but still I was smart enough to know blond, Ivy
League and swimmer equaled a winning combination.
Regardless, reconciling that fact I was gay with a career as a
publicist in a major NCAA Division I athletic program was far more
daunting a task, particularly since my personality is Type A, open,
inquisitive, prone to say anything that pops into my mind and far from
conducive to living a life in the closet.
I never really assumed however that I was in the closet. I don’t have
any illusions that people did not know about my sexual orientation
long before I made the decision to come out of the closet in 1992.
Some associates viewed me as asexual or simply sexually repressed and
it was fine with me whatever they thought.
A Time to Come Out
But by 1992, as a new administration was
about to be inaugurated in Washington, D.C. after 12 years of
right-wing Republican rule, I sensed the country was changing and it
was time for me to come out. For me it was a matter of survival. I
knew then that I either needed to come out of the closet and live my
life as whom I am or pursue other options. Some options were career
like in nature and the other options involved something that would
have taken me to a far darker place. Thankfully I did not choose the
latter option or even the former. I came to the conclusion, maybe even
arrogantly, that a person could work in sports and be openly gay. It
was my Midwestern German stubbornness driving me into the teeth of an
impending storm. Or so I thought.
When I came out at UNC, it went amazingly well. Of course there were
some people who were uncomfortable and they’re entitled to whatever
they want to think, as I said to myself. I can’t change everyone’s
opinion. But the overwhelming number of folks were supportive. After
working at a place for 15 years I believe one builds up a certain
amount of capital and folks viewed me as Dave Lohse the person, not
Dave Lohse the new gay guy. Nevertheless, it certainly fascinated some
of them. The athletic director at UNC at that time was John Swofford
and I am thrilled to report that he could not have been more
supportive. When I first had the chance to talk to him about the
subject, he asked me all the right questions and he put his arm around
me and assured me that should anyone in the athletic department at UNC
make trouble for me he would deal with the situation swiftly. That was
a far different take than I probably would have gotten from Swofford’s
predecessor, Bill Cobey, who actually hired me for the job back in the
1970s. I respect Bill Cobey immensely as a person but he is a
committed Christian conservative who now works as executive director
of the North Carolina Republican Party where he regularly vilifies
gays in press releases issued by the state GOP.
When I came out I simply did not know how many other out of the closet
people there were in sports. I found out very quickly there weren’t a
lot. Although I was at a point in my life where I was completely
comfortable being out on the job in college athletics I discovered
that there weren’t a whole heck of a lot of other folks doing the
same. A few years after I came out a gentleman by the name of Mike
Muska was named the athletic director at Oberlin College, a wonderful
NCAA Division III school and small liberal arts college in Ohio.
During the course of Muska’s hiring he was inadvertently outed but
Mike handled the situation with aplomb. At that point I knew there was
one other openly gay man in the world of college sports. Since then I
have been waiting another six years for the floodgates to open and I
have now reached a conclusion. Based on the empirical evidence
available it is an absolute known fact that Mike Muska and I are
categorically not only the only two openly gay men working in all of
college sports but the only two gay men period.
Lack of Visibility
Now of course that is absurd but the
situation illustrates perfectly the lack of visibility of gay men and
lesbians in sports. There are not many of us and the closet in the
sports world appears to remain to this day as oppressive as it ever
was. While great gains have been made in amassing out role models in
other prominent professions like the arts, the theatre, even politics,
government and the business world, the closet in sports is still
salient. The only other area that I can think of where the closet
remains as all consuming is the sphere of Hollywood entertainment
where the accusations of being gay or lesbian sends any star or mogul
running for his or her publicist to immediately assume the damage
control position.
Now we could say so what. Who cares? And maybe nobody does. But if my
coming out experience was anything like most of yours one of the most
germane things to those experiences is the way it affects our sphere
of relationships. One of the great things about coming out is hearing
from a friend or a relative the fact that knowing me in this way has
forced them to revisit their long held views about homosexuality in
America. We have all been there. That small gift of visibility that
you offer the people in your life really does make a difference. Not
always for the better I admit but for the most part our honesty really
can change the world.
And so in reference to that we look at why the closets in sports and
Hollywood make such a difference. They simply do. While I can think of
a thousand professions where gay role models are important, and
arguably more important than in entertainment venues like sports,
movies and TV, there is no arguing that high profile role models in
these professions would do so much good for the gay community at
large. The benefits would come not only in the sphere of public
opinion where we as a community would continue to make great strides
but also in the fact that gay and lesbian role models who have a
modicum of fame would be so illuminating for gay and lesbian youth
across the country. How wonderful it would be to sit in South Bend,
Indiana, or Pueblo, Colorado, and know as a gay kid that a favorite
athlete or coach or TV character or movie star was just like you. The
good that could do is boundless.
In that regard, this afternoon I went to a wonderful Web site run by
two friends from California. The Web site is Outsports.com and Jim and
Cyd do a magnificent job of covering the gay sports world and the
sports world in general. On their site, they have compiled a fairly
comprehensive list of out gay men and women in sports, past and
present, living and dead, still active and retired. I printed out the
list and brought it with me tonight. Now for a sports junkie like
myself, who also happens to be gay, most of the names on this list are
familiar. But for the average sports fan it would take more than a
passing knowledge to find this list friendly in nature.
The most prominent names include tennis
stars Martina Navratilova, Gigi Fernandez, Conchita Martinez, Billie
Jean King, Amelie Mauresmo and the late Bill Tilden, Olympic gold
medal winning diver Greg Louganis, professional women’s golfers Patty
Sheehan and Muffin Spencer-Devlin, former major league baseball
players Billy Bean and the late Glenn Burke, former professional
football players Dave Kopay and the late Jerry Smith, figure skaters
Rudy Galindo and Brian Orser, bodybuilder Bob Paris and former major
league umpire Dave Pallone. And then there are many more on this list
who are hardly household names, including two outstanding young
collegiate athletes who were “out” on their teams last year—Ryan
Quinn, a member of the skiing team at the University of Utah, and Jen
Moore, a softball player at the University of Pennsylvania.
Most of the names on the Outsports list are people who are out now but
were not so when they competed in their chosen sports. And that is
fine. It does not diminish the importance of their decisions to be
openly proud about their sexual orientation. But other than our cult
hero, Martina, very few have ever been openly gay while competing.
That takes an enormous amount of courage but the benefits to the gay
community of having more role models like Ms. Navratilova was cannot
be underestimated.
I am often asked by media people why there are not more openly gay
people in sports. They seem genuinely fascinated why more people don’t
come out. In fact, I was encouraged just a couple of days ago when two
white, straight, male sports reporters for the Raleigh News & Observer
approached me about helping them with a story they have wanted to
write for at least two years—what it’s like to be gay and in sports in
the Triangle of North Carolina. In talking to them I was impressed by
the maturity with which they have approached the potential of the
story and obviously because it is my job to be a liaison with the
media they made contact with me as the local gay guy in sports.
Certainly I am going to talk with them more thoroughly about the
subject but as much as I would want such a story to run in the News
and Observer because of the positive visibility it would bring, I
honestly don’t have a clue where they will find people willing to go
on the record with them. And that, I am afraid, would kill such a
story.
Over the past several years it has become more apparent to me that I
don’t think our problem is with the media. Sure, there are some
virulent scribes working out there for places like the New York Post
or the Washington Times, but as someone who reads voraciously any
national columns and stories that impinge on this subject area I can
honestly say that I believe the overwhelming majority of the sports
media community would be fair and supportive of prominent openly gay
athletes. As sports controversies surrounding “gay” rumors have popped
up from time to time, I think you will find that most columns are well
written, fact-filled, well researched and fair. And one thing I will
say for the sports media that I don’t necessarily think holds true for
the media at large is that when sports reporters write on the subject
not every one of them goes running to some national or local
homophobic spokesman to get the other side of the story. I can’t say
the same holds true for the media at large where they froth at the
mouth to cull comments from the James Dobsons, John Ashcroft, Jerry
Falwells and Pat Robertsons of the world as “balance” for their
stories. These are men who historically have rebuked our very
existence as human beings much less forgotten the fact that most of us
are United States citizens who pay taxes just like everyone else,
unless you work in the higher echelons of Enron or WorldCom.
Inner Homophobia
So why won’t more sports figures come out?
First, I do believe there is a lot of innate homophobia in the world
of sports. To deny that would be foolish. Most folks in sports
intellectually know there are gays among them but they just don’t want
to know about it. And when confronted with someone who is open about
their sexual orientation the macho drive kicks in and the initial
response is enormous discomfort.
That is particularly so in team sports. But I don’t think we as a
community can sit back and simply say that straight people are so
homophobic that they make it impossible for someone openly gay to
compete. My experiences at UNC have indicated to me that most student
athletes in this day and age are increasing their tolerance of sexual
minorities.
Whether it is the effect of the MTV
Generation or an increased interest in sexual experimentation, you
find fewer and fewer strict 1’s and 6’s on the Kinsey scale amongst
college students today. And I think that extends even to the more
conservative culture in college athletics. The way I’ve been treated
by student athletes over the last 10 years, even more so than the way
I’ve been treated by adults in that time, gives me enormous hope that
things truly are changing in the culture. Many of the athletes I deal
with are not only tolerant but they also think it is eminently cool to
know gay people.
And one must also say that even after coming out, Martina Navratilova
was a beloved player on the professional tennis circuit. And although
he came out after his career was over I don’t think Greg Louganis’
truthfulness diminished his star as a true Olympic golden boy. Now
again those two competed in individual sports and the whole atmosphere
around team sports would be very different. We could spend hours here
talking about that.
So sure there is homophobia. But GLBT people in sports also tend to be
more conservative human beings than the gay population in general. The
sports community is more conservative overall and it provides a safe
haven for closeted gays to do something they like and still have their
sexuality remain below the radar. Trust me, not everyone is as liberal
or as outspoken as me. I have met so many closeted gay coaches,
athletes and administrators in my life that if I had a dollar for each
one, well folks I wouldn’t be here talking to you, I’d be at some
beach house somewhere. I have talked to these people and I understand
where they come from. As much as I would love for them to come out, I
know that for most of them they have convinced themselves that their
honesty would have nothing but deleterious effects on their
livelihood.
Often times, this fear can be palpable. I have two wonderful friends
who coach college softball. I met them several years ago while on
vacation in Provincetown. They coach at one of America’s most
conservative universities and they fear what exposure may do to their
coaching situation. I was supposed to visit with them in July in PTown
but was
disappointed to find out upon my arrival that they would not be
coming. Apparently the situation back home was getting a little tense.
The head coach in this head/assistant coach duo told me last year in
PTown that she was so proud of what I have done in being visible and
being a spokesperson, including writing a 2001 guest editorial for the
NCAA’s biweekly newspaper in which I pleaded for schools to institute
formal programs to combat homophobia in their athletic departments.
But the praise from my friend made me feel empty rather than proud. I
have done what I felt I had to do for myself, first and foremost. But
for my two friends I feel so much pain that they so strongly feel the
need to hide who they are. I simply cannot see the fairness in that.
And it makes me mad that they cannot live their lives more openly and
more honestly.
Despite that less than uplifting story, visibility for gays in sports
is certainly increasing. In May 2001, Brendan Lemon, the editor of Out
Magazine, wrote an editorial in which he talked at length about his
lover, a major league baseball player for an East Coast franchise. It
is over a year later and we don’t know the identity of the player but
both the gay and the mainstream media jumped on that story like dogs
in heat. Maybe that is a poor choice of words but it accurately
describes the furor Lemon’s words caused. Earlier this summer Bobby
Valentine, the adept manager of the New York Mets, told Details
magazine that he felt the environment was now ripe for a major league
baseball player to come out of the closet. Again, it was like throwing
gasoline on an already burning fire. And within days, handsome Mike
Piazza, the All-Star catcher and very eligible 30-something bachelor
for the Mets, felt compelled to call a press conference in which he
stated unilaterally that he digs chicks.
In July, "Arliss" on the HBO network
featured an episode centered on the possibility of a closeted gay
major league baseball player, acted ably by former "Melrose Place"
hunk Grant Show, to come out. It was a reasonably well written and
sympathetic story in which former San Diego Padre and Detroit Tiger
Billy Bean, who has since come out following his baseball career, is
called upon by the title character Arliss to offer advice of what it
might be like to be gay and out of the closet in major league
baseball. Bean’s advice on the show was that is was not the right
time. Those thoughts are consistent with what Billy Bean has felt for
a long time and since he was there in his life I respect what he says
even if it disappoints me.
The World Is Changing
But when will it be the right time? When
is the gay community going to have the person who steps up to the
plate to be our Jackie Robinson, the Hall of Famer who broke the major
league baseball color barrier in 1948? And will the sport be baseball,
football, hockey or basketball. Or a combination of the above where
there are openly gay athletes in all of our major American
professional sports. It seems inevitable doesn’t it? But when will it
happen?
For that I have no easy answer other than to say that in my heart I
truly believe that the time is ripe. I think the world is changing
every day and the antics of a homophobe like major league baseball
pitcher John Rocker are less accepted than they ever were.
Nevertheless, it will take enormous courage for the individual or
individuals who step
forward and proclaim with honesty their same sex affections. I don’t
presuppose it will be easy. But I pray it will happen sooner rather
than later. And I don’t believe that the worse case scenarios have to
happen when this does happen. The success of such an endeavor will in
large measure be situational. But if a coming out works out for the
best its effects would be legendary.
Not only do the young people in our community need such role models
but the benefits of the visibility of these courageous gays, lesbians
and bisexuals will do so much to advance the cause of gay rights that
the possibilities seem endless. In the search for fairness and for gay
equality under the law these kinds of celebrities could go far in
convincing even more people in America that any kind of discrimination
against homosexuals is fundamentally wrong.
As I close, I do admit that I have one dream that I want to share with
all of you. While I grew up in Indiana, I have called North Carolina
my home for the past 25 years. In that time I have grown to love my
adopted state and my chosen school. When I retire from UNC one of my
goals is to establish an athletic scholarship through the University’s
Educational Foundation. Specifically I am going to ask that the grant
in aid be endowed in such a way that it could only be granted to an
openly gay, lesbian or bisexual student athlete at Carolina. Now since
I don’t plan to be retiring for a few years yet, my greatest hope is
that when this scholarship is put into place there will be more than
just a few eligible candidates each year out of the 750
student-athletes on Carolina’s 28 sports teams. Can you imagine? There
might actually be competition for an athletic scholarship given
specifically to an openly GLBT athlete. Makes the mind boggle doesn’t
it?
But there is work to be done before that can come to pass. In fact I
would say a lot of work. But the task is not impossible. I understand
that my particular passion for more gay visibility in sports is not
something everyone shares. But I do think the rewards the entire gay
community can reap from such visibility make the effort worthwhile and
it inspires not only myself but also many others around the country
who have toiled so hard in this endeavor. I don’t believe our work is
in vain. The times are changing. Our role models are out there and we
will know who they are someday. And I’m optimistic enough to think the
time will be sooner rather than later.
Thank you so much for your attention. It was a thrill to be able to
address you tonight. Thanks for everything you do to make the Guild a
great organization and I hope I can come back some time in the future
with even better news about being an insider in the world of sports.
And maybe at that point we’ll even have a celebrity athlete as part of
the program too. Thanks so much for this chance to address you and
good evening.
(Since 1977, Dave Lohse has worked
as the associate athletic communications director at the University of
North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Prior to that he worked as a student
assistant in the athletic communications office at Purdue University
while an undergraduate.)
Author's note: If you are involved in college sports in some
fashion and you are living your life as an out and proud gay man,
lesbian, bisexual or transgendered individual please let us know who
you are. Please e-mail me at
dlohse@uncaa.unc.edu or e-mail
Outsports.com. We would
love to hear from you and we would love to know who you are and hear
your stories.
Oct. 9, 2002 |
