A Perfect Ten
The Best Sports Films For Gay Guys

By Phil Walsh
Special to Outsports

Hot, steamy days in the upper deck. Beer swigged. Sleeveless T-shirts, biceps showing. The grunt of a pack of men in a football scrimmage on a late fall afternoon. The resigned and disappointed look on a rookie’s face when he realizes he’s been cut. Coaches named "Stud". Cotton clothing for golf, rough wool for football. Cigars in the clubhouse. Taped ankles, buzz cuts, and the crunch of cleats in a sand-covered dugout.

Admit it: these mainstay tools of contemporary sports cinema have a whole lot more potent effect on us than they do straight men. And I hate to assume, but I can’t see my old college roommate feeling the same way as I did when Rudy couldn’t get a break, or hit the lows I hit when Roy Hobbs re-aggravated his decades-old gunshot injury. While 90% of guys might not notice, the other 10% find such masculine drama, well, "inspiring."

So if a gay male sees more to a sports film, then which make the grade? What are the top sports flicks for the minority of us who can’t bear to watch Ollie’s foul shots in "Hoosiers" because we can’t reach into the screen to console the guy should he miss? Here are the most watchable sports movies for sports fans who, to borrow a phrase, "see a different game."

10. "The Endless Summer" (1966). Ever felt totally out of your element but enjoyed what you were experiencing so much that the fascination stuck? That’s what happens here, unless this pseudo-documentary travelogue flick from the "Gidget" era happens to read like an autobiography. For the rest of the world, surf lingo, tactics, and sites remain a mystery, which is why this 34-year old film still pleases. An incredibly masculine, violently thrilling joyride around the world in search of the "perfect wave" with a team of bad boys from surfing’s golden age, "Endless Summer" begs the inevitable question: whatever happened to surfer fetishists?

9. "Tin Cup" (1996). At first glance, this is nothing more than "Bull Durham" on the links, a middle-of-the-road romantic comedy full of flirtatious one-liners between Kevin Costner and Rene Russo, hardly worth a mention for its relative absence of steam. But in a laid-back, witty way, this movie hits the heart, no matter the avalanche of corny straight-guy schmooze techniques and relatively inane script. A "date movie" if there ever was one, "Tin Cup" benefits from a weird, indescribable aura that surrounds every scene: the characters sweat, the sun is blinding, the landscape bakes. It’s a summer flick, and if you’ve ever played golf it’s a thriller, and it contains the most handsome, most loveable incarnation of Costner on film (for my money, anyway). Few times did I manage to escape its relatively oddball charms.

8.. "8 Seconds" (1994). There isn’t a man alive (that I’d identify with, anyway) who would pass up a chance to ride in Lane, Tuff, and Cody’s Caddy, across miles of deserted nothingness in search of a dream, listening to Cody’s cowboy poems, and feeling what it’s like to be a free man. Of course, what makes a rodeo man tick is the secret stuff of legend, but here’s a good peek inside, a highly underrated film with a surprisingly well-paced and patient performance by Luke Perry. He makes a great Lane Frost, right up to his tragic death, and you can’t help but feel it was somehow destined to end up that way. All the stud cowboy posturing aside (and there’s plenty of it), "8 Seconds" is a melancholy film about the things that drive each of us to chase a dream, and how we sometimes lose ourselves along the way. Highly recommended, not just for the boot set.

7. "Hoosiers" (1986). Time has not been kind to this much-revered Cinderella story of the smallest-town-makes-good Indiana state basketball champs of 1952. The warm, entertaining story I remember from years ago now seems so forced, the drama so painted, and the subplots ridiculously trite. The soundtrack humorously reminds me of the sort of melodramatic dreck that served as "tension-building" background noise for bad 1980s dramas like "Dallas" and "Dynasty" (as the music plays during the Sectionals game segment, I swear I expect Blake Carrington to stroll out on the court). But you don’t come here for the atmosphere, you come for the tear-jerking cheese, and it’s here. Basically, nothing more redeeming about this film is as powerful as the boys of the Hickory Huskers themselves, and they do stand the test of time. Ollie is still as nifty and cherubic as I remember, and Jimmy (the "franchise") still opens my eyes as an awfully handsome farm-boy who carries the team on his back. These are the type of guys who get haircuts every Saturday, who wear their letter jackets every day of their high-school lives, and who you just KNOW have been up in the loft of the family barn with the cheerleaders, discovering what it’s like to be men and growing up accordingly. There simply isn’t a better cast of this sort who can evoke so many boyhood memories in a man and do so convincingly and tastefully. Despite the years, it’s a pleaser.

6. "Rudy" (1993). A college coach once chuckled while discussing this movie with me years ago, then turned deadly serious as he told me, "There’s a Rudy story in everyone’s life, I think." It was a touching moment, and it makes sense: commitment, perseverance, and determination are what shape a man’s character, and Rudy Ruettiger became one in a hurry at Notre Dame despite incredible odds. What makes this film worthwhile is how incredibly masculine such characteristics become when related to a story of such heart-wrenching power. How else can you explain why this film has been known to make even the most manly of us cry, knowing that if Rudy gets cut, we won’t stand a chance at that job promotion or secret personal goal? Rudy did it, and so can we. Extras: Sean Astin in pads, Sean Astin in a letter jacket, and Sean Astin being carried off the field on his teammates’ shoulders (the real-life Ruettiger remains the only player the Irish have ever done that for).

5. "Bull Durham" (1988). Without a doubt the most overrated comedy in American cinematic history, "Durham" is nonetheless a touchstone for rabid masculinity, outrageously humorous philosophical takes on life and love, and the first in a long line of Costner man-pose flicks. The celebrated "church of baseball" jokes aside, this is one film that plays for a different audience on a level the other 90% will never understand. Cases in point: Costner’s curiously resigned but red-hot sexy cockiness, the humorous and respectfully engaging game scenes, and the whole "guys in the clubhouse" vibe that permeates the whole program. This is one hell of a man’s movie, and despite the groans from baseball purists, it does something phenomenally original with the theme that other baseball films can’t best.

4. "A River Runs Through It" (1992). If we could get what we wished for in an instant, who among us would not want to erase the painful parts of our pasts, selectively replace them with pillars of strength, with a family bond so ideal and strong it would cure every hurt, soothe every rough spot? It’s the stability, the sense of order out of chaos, the magnificent integrity of the subject matter here that almost erases any sense that this is a "sports movie" at all. For what ultimately happens in Norman MacLean’s autobiographical novella is a realization so profound, viewers are caught unaware, having witnessed the passing of a man’s world between generations, across ages and over our created distances. MacLean’s life gets the Robert Redford treatment here, and the effect is nothing short of stunning. The family of men in this film (with the father portrayed by Tom Skerritt, one of the most competent actors in modern cinema) endears itself to the viewer, allowing us to grow with the characters, through shared experiences of joy, adventure, and sadness. It’s about life, and family, and the search for an ideal way of living we can be happy pursuing. The cinematography is rich, the locations bright with inspiration. Just a marvelously moving movie about men.

3. "The Natural" (1984). Leave it to Barry Levinson to make a story so simple seem deeper than Redford’s eyes. As many times as I’ve watched this one, I can’t help but chant its many philosophical one-liners right into next week, mantras divine and justly so because of the source. This is the grand slam of sports movies, wherein dugouts are sanctuaries (christened by Wilford Brimley in a role he was born to play), drawing us into Roy Hobbs’ life story so effectively we actually WANT to cheer for him. The acting is superb: Robert Duvall in another of his subtle and outstanding performances; Glenn Close is a gem; even Kim Basinger turns a wimpy role into a performance worth remembering. But it’s the life lessons themselves that steal the show, such as this bomb dropped on Roy as he sits in a hospital bed, thinking about a life he wanted badly but instead settled for the one he lived: "We have two lives, the one we learn with, and the one we live afterward." This movie isn’t just about men, a game, and a gift; it’s a movie about the essence of sport and life. A beautiful, captivating, and solemn story.

2. "Breaking Away" (1979). A bittersweet and engaging film set in small-town Indiana, starring a talented corps of pre-Brat Packers who out-perform their roles in a tale of adolescent bliss. Dennis Quaid (in what I remember was his first prominent role) still is a looker here, even with the Carter Administration-era ‘do, and Dennis Christopher became the guy who forced me to ask weird questions about myself years ago. There still is no greater story of a foursome of friends-til-the-death buddies than the Cutters, a crew so tight you’d swear there was more to those quarry swims than made the final reel. Hardly outdated, "Breaking Away" still gives me pause.

1. "Long Gone" (1987). About 8 years ago, one boring weekday night, a bunch of old fraternity buddies of mine and I went to Blockbuster with nothing in mind, and "Long Gone" somehow made it back with us by one pal’s popular demand. Turns out this 1987 HBO special, a low-budget pre-"Bull Durham" tale of a fictional minor-league team in Florida in the 1950’s, electrified me in such a way that I felt as though I was watching the best, most unabashedly homoerotic sports flick I’d ever seen. Nothing has since come close to besting it on several fronts. For starters, the team depicted is the Tampico Stogies, a squad whose uniforms are adorned with a cartoon of some studly Tom Of Finland – type character, cigar clenched between his teeth, up at the plate and meaning business. The whole team smokes cigars and plays ball with such masculine abandon (often simultaneously) it resembles my most secret fantasies of manhood gone wild. Then there are the actors, virile baseball men, sleeves deftly rolled up to just the right height for peeking, gorgeous and sunburnt, starring the highly underrated William Petersen as Stud Cantrell (you heard right), a daddy of a manager whose rough-around-the-edges demeanor makes the whole film. The music is vintage country, including some Hank Williams (Senior) that I’d forgotten was so erotic. The plot? It doesn’t hit the comedic highs of "Durham" itself, but you’ll see the resemblance, and given the distractions all over the place,  you won’t care enough about its flaws not to get taken on its fun, charming ride. Suffice to say it’s a cigar and baseball fetishist’s dream come true, and I bet you can get it on Amazon.com (good luck finding it for rent anywhere). It’s one for the ages, and unintentionally the most endowed film about sports I’ve ever seen.

"Everybody’s All-American" (1988). Dennis Quaid in a flattop, beer in one hand, babe in another, game on the tube.
"Caddyshack" (1980). Drop-dead laughs, easily the best sports comedy ever.
"The Program" (1996). The horror, the horror of high-school sports.
"The Bad News Bears" (1976). The first movie I ever saw.

Our Readers Weigh In

(Most recent submissions on top)

From Erestes2:
Masculinity. Camaraderie. Athletic endeavor. Overcoming obstacles in the pursuit of excellence. Physical and muscular beauty. If there is any guy out there who appreciates these elements, who appreciates male energy expressed in a male environment, who appreciates a good story and wouldn't mind a little inspiration to boot, then "Remember the Titans" is the flick for you. It's a movie that weaves its multi-varied themes -- competition, race, allegiance and betrayal, friendship, and yes, even same-gender eroticism (to name just a few) -- into a tapestry that is at once, wonderful to look at as well uplifting. And all this -Get This!- WITHOUT the standard Hollywood mass market extraneous "love story" or 'T&A' scenes dropped in to reassure anxious males of their heterosexual bonifides. It's easily THE best gay-friendly sports movie out there--if you haven't seen it yet, you're missing a gem....

From Rudy:
``For Love of the Game'' This movie is kind of two movies in one - a love story that's pretty mediocre and not all that believable, and the story of an aging vet's last chance at pitching a perfect game. Forget the love story; focus on the baseball. The excitement and drama that build during the big game make this movie truly memorable. And there's the rumor  that Kevin Costner was actually peeved they edited out his full-frontal from the final cut. I don't really pant for Kevin Costner, but it'll make me raise an eyebrow when the DVD hits the rental stores.

``Bang the Drum Slowly'': A simple, beautiful story of an unlikely friendship between a star pitcher and a none-too-bright, journeyman catcher dying of Hodgkins. The performances made me wonder why Michael Moriarty hasn't had a more stellar film career, and confirmed why Robert DeNiro has. This is one of the all-time great friendships in moviedom, and it's my favorite sports flick of all time.

From Matt:
``Brian's Song'' tells the story of Chicago Bear Brian Piccolo and his friendship with Gale Sayers. I first saw it in high school health class taught by a coach I had a huge crush on. When some guys saw that he had tears in his eyes while watching the film they gave him shit forever. No need to say, it made me more infatuated than ever. Anyway a great movie about sports, friendship and life.

``Pride of the Yankees.'' The Lou Gehrig story ... One of the best baseball movies ever.
Great player and classy, classy man. 

``Raging Bull,'' directed by Martin Scorcese and starring Robert DeNiro. The story of boxer Jake LaMotta. If you can
see it on the big screen its even better. WIth so many athletes struggling to deal with the 'glory' of being a star (Darryl Strawberry, Rae Carruthers, Lawrence Taylor, Mike Tyson etc.) this movie is more meaningful than ever.

From Paul in Las Vegas:
Great list, but you missed "Steel Magnolias." Yes, "Steel Magnolias." Claree, played by Olympia Dukakis, takes comfort in her husband's death in the fact he lasted through the state playoffs, and ponders whether she can parlay football into a reason to live. She eventually becomes a football commentator against a backdrop of the hottest, most unforgettable locker room scene ever to play in mainstream theaters.

From A Reader:
OK, so Robby Benson may be a little dated, although I was surprised to learn he's only 4 years younger than I am, but "Running Brave" should definitely be on your list. Not only is the film based on the life of an Olympic track star full of great looking guys, but there is a totally gratuitous shower scene early on that lingers on ... and on and on and on the supple track team's butts with more than a hint of "frontage." Even in the New Millennium, Benson still looks good and there's some eye candy for everyone here with a decent story line and moral to boot.

From Alfonso:
I nominate as one of my favorite sports films from a gay perspective the movie 'Major League'. It's a baseball comedy with some good laughs, a good plot, acting and Dennis Haysbert. He is a black actor who plays a Cuban defector who joins the Cleveland Indians. I a couple of scenes Haysbert appears on camera wearing only a purple jockstrap. He's big, black and beautiful! 

From PredtrFan71:
Jamie Lee Curtis in "Perfect"- 'nuff said! (Jockstrap scene for the guys, too!)

From Everton Fan:
I'd like to echo the  praise of "Chariots of Fire."

What a beautiful movie in terms of the photography, the music and the men. The Scotsman was played by the quite gorgeous---OK, I love British men---Ian 
Charleson. Sadly, Ian died of AIDS in 1990, age 40.

I'd like to add to the list of omission's the John Sayles film "Eight Men Out". This is a lovingly detailed period piece about one of the low points in Major League Baseball history, the Black Sox Scandal of 1919. Great costumes (what hell those heavy wool uniforms must have been to play in!), 
wonderful dialogue and excellent acting.

And to top it all off, it has two of my favorite geek-boy lust objects, 
John Cusack and D.B. Sweeney, not to mention a more "mature" lust object, John Mahoney (Marty Crane on "Frasier"). D.B. Sweeney was also in (and shows a little of that yummy pale flesh of his) a straight-to-cable movie 
about college basketball recruiting called "Heaven Is A Playground" which is not a bad movie either.

Matt: I've gotta second the nomination for "Slapshot", in my mind the most enjoyable and hilarious sports movie ever made. Themes of marginalization and not fitting in abound, there's some treatment of homosexuality (albeit not in a positive light—but hey, this was the 70s after all!), and great performances from Paul Newman and Michael Ontkean. Who can resist the GM's tales of a player who would pick fights to get 5 minutes in the penalty box so he could compulsively masturbate? Or the sight of dreaded ruffian "Ogie" Oglethorpe taking the ice with a huge red Afro that surely inspired the one worn by Guillermo Diaz in "Stonewall"?

John in Tucson:
I can't believe you left off American Anthem! Not only does it revolve around the gayest sport ever, gymnastics, it was the feature film debut of the dreamy Olympic Gold Medalist, Mitch Gaylord. In the movie, he makes a point of training for the Olympics in the least amount of clothing possible. A side note, the movie also featured Mrs. Wayne Gretzky (Janet Jones) as Mitch's love interest. 

Rich:
Well, I just joined the site and I was fascinated by your list of movies. I am looking forward to trying to locate your #1.  Another not mentioned which was great was Chariots of Fire!! Every thing about it was great and I am positive more than one was truly gay, it was just not the purpose of the movie or the times to portray it. Thanks for the great reviews and insights on #2-10, I agree with you.

Charles:
"Youngblood," the hockey movie starring Rob Lowe. When he gets locked out of the locker room and drops his towel, I literally shed a tear.

Maddog:
My top 10:
"Slap Shot" - Best sports film ever made with Michael Ontkean stripping to just his jock at the very end... "In God's Hands" - Recent surferboy movie ala Endless Summer but in the opening scene the three boys are in their skivvies, in prison, in a foreign country...very nice...
"Streets of Gold" - Adrian Pasdar and James Marshall as two body beautiful tough street kids. Very hot.
"RollerBall" - James Caan as a futuristic gladiator...'nuff said.
"Varsity Blues" - Just to see James' son Scotty in the buff with just his cowboy hat covering his decency...to an MTV soundtrack nonetheless.
"Bloodsport" - I know Jean-Claude is getting old, but boy did he make my juices flow...
"The Longest Yard" - Why doesn't Hollywood make prison/football movies anymore???
"Visionquest" - Even with Matthew Modine and Michael Schoeffling looking studly, my eye wonders to the beefy bad guy Shoot doing steps with a huge log on his back...talk about tossing my caber!
"White Squall" - Scott Wolf, Ryan Phillipe, 6 or 8 other scantily clad youths...Yachting is a sport, right? Right?
"Rocky IV" - I still see Dolph looking directly into my eyes saying "I vill break you"...my response..."K".

Mike in Ohio:
What about "Field Of Dreams"? WHAT were you thinking???? Any guy who can watch Kevin Costner ask his 'dad' - "wanna have a catch?" and not force back a tear is superhuman. In fact I had a boss once who told me that if he had known I like Field of Dreams he wouldn't have even bothered interviewing me.