Closeted High School Hoops Coach Options

[HoopsCoach]

I just wanted to comment on some the postings I read in this thread. I love reading about so many gay men that have been able to come out and are part of the sports world. I am a closeted high school basketball coach, but also a leader in the sports community. I serve as the president of the area coaches association and am also a state and national rep. Beside from being a teacher I also own my own sports event firm where I run various events through out the country. I do feel that I could be a great leader in the community once I come out, but am wavering. Im really not sure how high school kids and parents would react if they found out.

Realistically I do not have many gay friends, so I am looking to find a community to be a part of and eventually move on with my life. Let me know what you guys think.

[WChip]

You would be a great role model in your community and it sounds like your coming out would make positive ripples throughout your state's sports culture! Do you live in a state whose civil rights laws include protections for gay people? Chances are there will be some objections and difficult changes in how some relate to you, but you know better than most of us whether your community would be supportive overall. Best of luck to you, whenever you are ready- your coming out is one of those big small pieces that can do alot in changing attitudes nationwide.

[Jim at Outsports]

Also posted this on our blog.

[canmark]

Have you read Dan Woog's books, Jocks and Jocks 2? Despite the sexy covers, the books feature serious profiles of various gay athletes and people involved in sports (I think Outsports' Jim B. is one of the people profiled). The stories are very inspiring, and it sounds like you yourself are a community leader involved in sports and you should be proud of that. I wouldn't rush into anything, but try to talk to people and send out feelers in both the non-gay and gay sports worlds and see what you think. You don't have to dive in the deep end, but do stick your toe in the waters and you may see that it is more welcoming than you fear.

[HornFan]

Maybe there a ways to interact with the gay and gay-friendly community without immediately coming out which gives you more time to assess your situation. Perhaps you are in an area large enough to have those gay/straight alliance clubs in schools (or gay youth groups) that you could lend your support/sponsorship? Seems you could make a postive impact to the gay community (especially youngsters) while you contemplate your decision. A way to possibly ease into the community in "safer environs". Just throwing that out there.

Not knowing the demographics, I can't speculate on the reaction of parents and students if you came out, other than to say I'm sure the students will be an easier audience. Best wishes to you and I hope you will keep us informed on how your life progresses as a gay high school coach.

[SCTrojan]

Two thoughts HoopsCoach:

1. If you haven't already done so, get advice from Jim & Cyd about connecting with gay/gay-friendly organizations, sportscasters, athletes, coaches, etc., in your community. Obviously you don't want to divulge your location (@ least not yet), but a personal msg to them would help you make some great contacts & it would ease your mind about confidentiality. Nothing but a more positive experience can come out of it.

2. Perhaps consider sitting down w/ a therapist for a few sessions to help you make this important & vital step in your life. Objective & professional advice/perspective always assists one to see things from many angles.

Good luck & keep us posted.

[krb33041]

[font=Arial] I wanted to first congradulate you on your coming out. But, first thing is first. Look into the High School's Rulles that was set by the school board and see if their is any mention of sexual Orientation Harassment, etc. Then look at the State and national policies. Then find a way to have a event to where you can engage the parents of the Basketball players and and other sports to see where they stand on the issue and others to engage their reactions. If their reactions are Positive then they are the first to come out to. If they are negative then they are the last to come out to. Do not hurt these young-adults that are in your care in any way. They look up to you and if they get hurt by you and they feel that they can use you to get a head then be careful. But also look to them to be on your side if it comes down to any trouble. Please what ever you do. Do not do anything sexually with them. I can tell you that I wished I was able to come out back then. But it was a redneck country and they would not understand. I do know what I am talking about because i was a basketball manager for my high school.

[HoopsCoach]

First off, I would like to thank everyone on the blog for their kind words. I have been in contact with Cyd and he turned me on to the NY Gay Football League, which I plan on joining. On the suggestion of Canmark I have also been in contact with Dan Woog. It is great to have people to talk with and it makes the situation much easier to deal with.

I really am not sure when I will actully come out. I think that when the time is right it will happen.If I happened to meet someone, I think that would speed up the process. I would not wnat to keep someone that I cared about hidden.

Keep the comments coming I really love the feedback. Dan Woog is doing a column on me that I will post when it becomes avaliable. Once again thanks to everyone!

[fantomas]

Good luck!

[Crew Chief]

I just wanted to comment on some the postings I read in this thread. I love reading about so many gay men that have been able to come out and are part of the sports world. I am a closeted high school basketball coach, but also a leader in the sports community. I serve as the president of the area coaches association and am also a state and national rep. Beside from being a teacher I also own my own sports event firm where I run various events through out the country. I do feel that I could be a great leader in the community once I come out, but am wavering. Im really not sure how high school kids and parents would react if they found out.

Realistically I do not have many gay friends, so I am looking to find a community to be a part of and eventually move on with my life. Let me know what you guys think.

I wish you the best of luck, and advise you to do what's best for your career. I say this because there are always people out there who dislike or even despise you. I've got some pathetic ---hole who has been trying to destroy my umpiring career with disgusting BS he's been doing the last several months. Sadly, it appears he is succeeding.