Understood, but I still prefer the simply repeated--as often as necessary--"no thank you." When first presented some imagined treat one does not wish to partake or following the "Oh, come on, just one piece," "Why not, don't you like...," or (my personal favorite plea) "But I made it myself," a firm "no thank you" without any additional information does the trick. I even remember a second-grade teacher (Miss Bilson) urging us all to practice saying "no thank you" so we wouldn't find ourselves in sticky situations!

~Adam

So I've been told. wink

I laffed at this one ! I went to a game last year - asked a hot guy in traffic how to get there - He said " follow me" He was goin there too! - What a nice city Boston is- classy, clean. restored - and we had great seats at Fenway! I'm definetely goin back !
OH NO, I pulled us off topic - Well here is one to get us back:
People that tell me there " A friend of mine got a ticket once and the cop was a jerk" stories and they expect me to either agree with their friend or the cop when neither us was there and they aren't here to defend themselves. My usual comeback- So what do YOU do for a living? You are a teacher? Oh, my 3rd grade teacher was an jerk, what do you think of that?" Blank look then recognition - sometimes.

[ August 18, 2004, 03:43 PM: Message edited by: copman ]

Yeah, really! When I used to work for newspapers, I'd get an earful from people about the comics or the crosswords puzzles or the coverage of their hot-button topic ... or the editorials, which I didn't write and frequently didn't agree with. "So, where do you work? The gas company? Why is my bill so high?" (Or better yet, car insurance.) :mad:

Now I just get people wanting to ask me computer questions. Or I get the blank looks.

THIS GUY!

Oh, tell me about it. I'm a legal editor now, but I was a litigator for 8 years in CA. I've had it up-to-here with lawyer-bashing.

People who keep asking me, "So, do you workout?"

No, this is natural. :mad:

Closeted gay men that rent porn from me and bitch about a $4 late fee and it's all my fault.

Guys who bitch to me that their poppers "smell a bit funny." It's POPPERS! What are they suppose to smell like ... ROSES?!?!?

Guys who tell me their silicone lubricants stain the sheets and blame me for selling it to them. Here's an asnwer to that - PUT IT IN THE WASH WHEN YOU ARE DONE, YA IDIOT!

Guys who think just because I work at a gay establishment that I am an easy lay. To paraphrase an old gay icon, "I am not promiscuous. Promiscuity implies that attraction is not necessary."

Guys who tell me I've wasted my youth.

Guys who tell me what I should do w/ my life since they are "all knowing and worldly." Worldly my ass!

Guys who look at me like I am some piece of trash discarded the night before. You know what? I may not be where I want to be in my life right, but I'll get there and I will work my ass off to do so!

[ September 28, 2004, 10:55 AM: Message edited by: Allen ]

Maybe that's why they think you are an easy lay. Just kidding, Allen...but I couldn't resist.

Forgot one ... Guys who tell me how much $$ they make. I don't give a rat's ass how much someone has in their checking acct or how much they make at their job. It's almost like someone telling me how big they are. So what?

So Allen, is this the wrong thread to ask you how much you make, how much in savings you have and how big you are?

[ September 28, 2004, 08:46 AM: Message edited by: scottie ]

scottie & bobby,

And the answers are: Very little, Nonexistent, and even less! eek!

Reminds me of the time I met a guy in a bar who was obviously trying to make a pickup for the night and he kept asking me what size shoes I wear.

And, no, he was not a foot fethishist.

[ September 28, 2004, 09:34 AM: Message edited by: NewYorkVenus ]

I see him as a "Straight" guy who beleives the stories.

Run, Run as swift as the wind!!

People who don't clean up after themselves when using the company lunchroom. When entering it to get a cup of tea, I discovered a puddle of coffee on the floor, about half a coffeepot's worth. I cleaned it up, but thought someone needs to be pushed down an open elevator shaft. For what it's worth, there are two signs in the lunchroom, one reading "Please help keep this room tidy" the other reading "Clean up after using the lunchroom."

I'd hate to see some of these people's homes!

~Adam

Expanding on What Adam just posted. People who nuke fish in the breakroom. It just makes the whole floor reek!!!

Jehovah's Witnesses who ring your bell at 9:07 am on Saturday. You mother-effers! I worked last night. Got home at 5am! Even if I didn't work, I don't want to be woken up/disturbed by you ass****s. I don't care about your f**kin' religion. And even if I were looking for a religion, I wouldn't want it coming to me door to door like trick-or-treaters looking for candy. Next time I won't even open the door before blasting away. I don't care if Jehovah, Jesus, Buddha and the other Religious Super Friends are at the door. I'm trying to sleep.

Anyone who can't even say "hi" to start a chat room conversation. Hate most getting IM'ed with "asl" or "how big"? Check the profile ass****. I filled mine out. Have you?

[ October 09, 2004, 11:32 AM: Message edited by: BillyC ]

This is the funniest thing I've seen all day!

LOL, the two of youse! Is Mohammed one of the Super Friends, too? I don't think Moses, Zoroaster* and Vishnu like him too much and I hear the feeling's mutual.
_____
* Does NOT rhyme with "toaster."

All I know is if any proselytizer shows up at my door at 9:00 in the a.m. on a Saturday, they're likely to get a firm but vaguely polite admonition to plan their annoying service to the Lord at an hour when I'm not at home.

I got one of those visits from religious people at 9:15 am on Saturday.

I had been up since 7:00, and the hubby had already left for tailgating at the KC Speedway. I was cleaning house in nothing but boxer shorts and flip-flops when the doorbell rang. I could see there was no car in the driveway, so I knew it was either someone on a mission to save my soul or to sell me a magazine subscription... *click-click* ...and so I decided to answer the door just as I was. Well, the two ladies obviously had a longer speech in mind, but after seeing my attire and a can of Dow Scrubbing Bubbles in one hand, one of them mumbled something about doing sign language and asked if I knew any hearing-impaired people who needed to learn the gospel of Jesus.

KER-BLAM!!!

They practically turned and ran off my front porch.

I don't always mind the religious knockers around here. You see we have a Mormaon school up the road and they are required to do some door-to-door stuff before graduating. I so I rarely miss the chance to answer the door for these boys.

I keep hoping for my very own little "Latter Days"...hehe wink

I haven't been following this thread so I don't know if these have already been mentioned:

1. From my "Pet Peeve" thread, co-workers who take all but the last few drops of coffee and are too lazy to make a fresh pot.

2. Co-workers who are habitually late for meetings.

3. Guys who drop weights at the gym, even when they stand right next to the sign asking them to please not do so.

4. People who don't wipe their sweat off cardio equipment. Again, there is a sign asking folks to wipe off equipment.

5. There's this woman who rides the same bus every morning. Ok, I don't think she should be shot per se, but it's just funny. We stand waiting for the bus, but when does she start fishing in her purse for $1.25? After she boards the bus and is standing right by the fare box. Why not get your money ready before, when you're just standing waiting for the bus? Little quirks like that fascinate me.

Yeah I think some of those bike riding Mormons are just too cute and funny to hate. Cute when they try to race me when I am commuting to work. Funny when they talk to me about their brilliant satire of Christianity. The really cute thing is that they go out in pairs. They refer to their fellow "Elder" as their "companion". I'll reserve my hatred for the..
Minneapolis police. They roughed me up and fake-arrested me for riding my bike on the sidewalk. They didn't get me to a hospital, they beat me up. I wasn't beat up enough for any civil attorneys I contacted. This is the very, very short story. Just enough discourse to illustrate some merit for a small personal blood bath.
The jury is out indefinitely on the guy who yelled out his car window at me, "I want to suck your cock bitch!". Does this pick-up ever work for anybody in a car regarding a cyclist?
I quess re-living traumatic events is not very sleep inducing for me, even if mildly cathartic. Hence I see the egress to the...

What are poppers? Are they those bite size candy bits? In my slang the term usually means anphetamines or potent stimulants in a tablet form.
Sorry, my ignorance prevents me from fully grasping Allen's retail pain and suffering.
Trigger happy?

Erik, go to Rainbow Road on Grant and LaSalle and ask what video head cleaners are. They will tell you. Do not ask for poppers! They are video head cleaner.

[ October 25, 2004, 07:36 AM: Message edited by: Allen ]

Thanks Allen. Video head cleaner is a self-explanatory term. I'll stop in and say "Hi" if I'm out on the town. Poppers = video head cleaner, so some fella is complaining that his video head cleaner smells funny.
Ask him if it is laughing at him? is it more of a chuckle or a guffaw? Then say it is merely laughing with him with a straight face (no pun) after you smell it for yourself. There are some much ruder things you could say...but you risk enticing him.
The things I miss out on by not having VHS.

Ex-boyfriends who still like to yell at you in public places in the Twin Cities, even though they broke up with me since "they were not ready for a relationship."

Having someone send you a "Dear John" letter on a Post-It.

Allen, sorry to hear about your recent experience with office products. Was it an official 3M product.
C5H11NO2 is not video head cleaner by the way. Sorry for being scientific. Some people don't do the research before they do something potentially "stupid".

How about this -- something I've probably been guilty of, too -- you send an e-mail asking a specific question (as compared to something like forwarding a link to a funny website) and you're waiting for a reply that never comes. I'm not sure it's worth shooting over, but it can be annoying.

The holiday season is essentially upon us. Time to contribute more people who should be shot.

Don't ya just love the holiday spirit?

Well, starting this year, Target has banned the obnoxious bell-ringers (not that they should be shot), but it does take them off the possible hit list.

Tiz the season to be ironic. The holidays see a dramatic and historical increase in suicides.

Too bad more stores don't do this. I give generously to charities, especially during Christmastime, but all these bell ringers I pass by without contributing always make me feel guilty, as if I'm some cheapskate for not plunking down some change.

Our local grocery stores, as well as local Walgreen's, did something similar during October, which is breast cancer awareness month. Every time you checked out, they asked you if you wanted to contribute money to breast cancer research, and every time I said no and got a mean look from the female cashiers.

Maybe I should have told them I'd be happy to help research titty cancer but needed physical test subjects first. eek!

Why do you find the "dramatic and historical increase in suicides" around the holidays to be ironic? I think the forced frivolity and "holiday is family" images easily lead those alone or sad to depression & possibly thoughts of suicide; it's not an unexpected (ironic) result of the holiday season--it's highly predictable.

~Adam

And for some, it's the thought of having to spend time with family members that almost drives to the edge of no return.

I find the irony in the title of the thread and when it originated. "People who should be shot" is somewhat ironic this time of year. Folks just seem to take care of it themselves. They do not need the gift of a bullet. It is like kicking a dead horse. Or trying to disrespect someone who has no self-respect.

Tickling the damned.

But shooting them is just more fun, Erik. Besides, it's the holiday season. What better time than to mow 'em down?

I f**king hate the winter holidays in America--not because they're in and of themselves annoying (hell, I loooove stuffing myself full of turkey and dressing and dinner rolls and collard greens and...you get the picture)--but because I am so SOOO tired of that "The Holidays Are About Family (So Spend a Ton of Money to Show You 'Love' Them)" shit! The goddamn advertisers need some sweet hot lead pumped into their cold, stupid bodies.

Furtherf**kingmore, radio stations need to be 187'd too--I do NOT want to hear f**king Bing Crosby damn near 24 hours a day on That Holiday That Shall Not Be Named.

This is my new favorite word. Thanks kalabro!

Well, one radio station here began playing non-stop holiday music on NOVEMBER 5TH, and another on NOVEMBER 14TH. So on Thanksgiving if someone asks me what I'm thankful for? Sirius Satellite Radio, that's what!

That obnoxious, annoying cow Star Jones needs to be shot. Harpooned actually. Every paper, TV news and/or entertainemnet show going on and on about her wedding. I also read that she was constantly shilling for free stuff for her wedding in exchange for plugs on that "no wonder so many men cheat on therir wives or are gay 'cuz these broads are so freakin' annoying" gabfest of hers called The View.

Oh and one more thing Star. You married a homo!

Here's someone who took this thread literally! Didn't the person know better? Should've used a gun. We here have deemed that acceptable.

Bludgeoning someone to death is perfectly acceptable in the bloody red state of Texas. wink

Me.

Okay, I don't wnat to be shot, just kicked in the butt.

Reason? For allowing myself to get walked on by my friends, family and co-workers all these years.

I'm an ass**** for allowing them to do that to me.

Allen

I could kick you in the butt. I live in Mpls, so I wouldn't even have to go out of my way to do it. wink Any specific time you want this done?

Regarding the cops story got to be 2 sides to the story if lawyers wouldn't even take your case...... :confused:
Second story -What did the driver yelling at you look like? wink

[ November 22, 2004, 08:35 AM: Message edited by: copman ]

my new addition to the people who should be shot

First. With regards to the people who knock on your door at 9AM in the morning. A couple of years ago, I had a pair of Jehovah Witness ladies knock on my door at 8AM. Needless to say, I walked downstairs in my boxers, opened the door. When they said that they had a free copy of the Watchtower, I told them that I would have to ask my husband.

Funny, they've never been back. :-)

Second: His lordship is working part time at a new shopping mall. to say it's been busy is an understatement. My pet peeve, people who walk the wrong way. If I'm walking on the xtreme right, WHY do people walk the other way, and then look at me when I don't move.
Or a family that walks 8 abreast, completely blocking the aisle, and then they STOP TO TALK AND DON'T MOVE. Normally I just say loudly, EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU MOVE SO SOMEONE COULD ACTUALLY WALK PAST. Normally I get blank stares. Being able to swear in 6 languages DOES help.

Christmas shopping is NOT gonna be pretty.

[ November 22, 2004, 09:17 AM: Message edited by: Lksimcoe ]