I've been contemplating joining a gay/lesbian swim team in my city. I think it would be a good experience, but I do have one concern about joining . . . according to an acquaintance of mine who is currently on the team, it is the norm for team members to shower naked after practices. As a a fairly young guy (early 20s), I must admit to having some anxiety about that.

I realize that the locker room is not supposed to be a sexual environment, but I must admit to having some apprehension about showering with teammates, like that I'll get unintentionally aroused. Does anyone have any words of advice?

Actually, I have the same problem with accidental arousal. I think a strategically placed washrag or towel can do wonders. Also, I recommend using a shower cap to disguise the problem during showering activities, if all else fails. Or, just smile, and blame it on Viagra?

Cold showers.

I think if everyone is acting professional it may not be a problem- carry your towel & face away while soaping up - just in case.

Act mature and focus on actually taking a shower?

if you practice hard enough, you'll be too exhausted for all that. scrub off the chlorine and save the chit chat for afterwards.

I am not surprised but a bit disappointed that unintentional arousal in the shower, or even locker room, of a gay sports venue would be unusual. Imagine if straight male athletes had to shower with women.

I know many gay men shower with men frequently in a straight setting without getting aroused. I know I did. But in that situation the concern is with sports, washing-up or straight-guy type matching up as a part of competitiveness. None of which I found arousing (especially since I don't "match-up" so good. ).

If I were in your situation ENNSwimmer04 I would simply concentrate on something else. If no one else is getting aroused maybe that would help. If someone else is and you are not attracted to them then it should not arouse you. If someone else is and you are attracted to them then take it elsewhere later.

I don't think the charged sexual environment of naked men is a good place to start a serious relationship, any more than a bathhouse is. Take it from someone with experience. Others may have a different one.

I hope more gay men will become active in sports. It dispells myths and, more important, is a healthy way to both take care of your body and socialize. Don't let fear of a natural occurence deter you from those two.

Bryan, you beat me to the punch. You're exactly right.

I dont think the hardon issue is as pervalent as youd think. If you are nervous and all most likely youll get the opposite of a hardon anyway lol. It does make a slight difference I guess because you are in an environment of guys you know are gay as opposed to where you dont know if they are or not. I wouldnt worry much about it...

Did anyone else have coaches that showered with them in high school like I did? I remember thinking it was very odd at the time and I still think it's weird. At the end of class, when we were showering, there was one coach (Coach Torres, the wrestling coach) who would always just strip and shower right alongside us. He would do it virtually every day. This was 9th grade and he was hot... I'm guessing he was late 20s or maybe early 30s then. But when I look back now, I think it was kind of inappropriate and I'm wondering why he did it. Oh well. Maybe it was only the gay students in class who even noticed he was there... I'm sure most of the straight guys probably don't even remember it.

my suggestion would be to have as ben stiller said in the movie dodgeball,"a moment of personal reflection" with a porn or something before you go swimming and that way it will be a non-issue. i've showered in public places for years and never had an issue with unintended arousal except for one time.and the only reason that happened is that a dude who may have well been straight was checking me out in a mirror while he was drying himself off and my hormones kicked in. i managed to exit the shower before things got too crazy but for the most part i think if you use a blank stare to look past people or at the ground when you are walking around you won't have the temptation.

Think nuns and kittens. Nuns and kittens...

I love checking out the guys in the shower. I think it's fun to see the different body types and penis sizes. It fun too, to watch guys soap up and rub themselves all over. Mercy!

I can remember in the 9th grade dressing out for PE. It was voluntary to take a shower afterwards. There was this one guy that was on the football team and he was extremely well endowed and covered in hair. I was covered in hair too but not blessed as he was in the penis department. I still remember his name to this day and I remember watching him shower. I think that is why I have such fond memories of locker rooms and showers.

I did feel self-conscious about having body hair so young. I can remember catching a few guys looking at my hairy chest when we dressed out for PE. I was so embarrassed and tried to put on my shirt as quick as I could but the times I did shower it took longer and I had to dry off and I could tell some of the guys were looking at me. Strange huh... I was embarrassed to be seen by others but I liked looking at them in the shower. Go figure!

Or Paris Hilton and Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Or if you're really desparate, think about your grandmother naked.

Hell, even thinking about Ratzi the Nazi would work I think

I had the problem with the arousal issue in high school, only one time was I given a bad time about it.

At my gym locker room now I have sprouted a unplanned semi a few times, Ive seen others also, most guys just act like its not a big deal. I've only seen one guy actually whack it when it was just the two of us in the showers. I will admit when I was younger I jerked when I was alone.

Well, you could always go to a stall and rub one out prior to showering???

In a perfect world it shouldn't be an issue, and everyone should be professional and such. That being said last time I went to a pride discussion group at my university I got some fairly brash and definately unwanted solicitations from a couple of older, somewhat creepy masters students and last time I was in a pool I had to make a strategic and premature exit from the shower area.

If the swim team is something you want to do, than I wouldn't let the shower thing bother you too much. Just have a couple of witty retorts prepared in advance. A strategic exit is always a good thing but if anyone comments just tell them that "others pay good money to see that, why should they think they can get it for free" or something to that effect. Also, if anyone makes an unwanted advance, just be really explicit about being uninterested.

I haven't posted anything in a long time, but I had a few minutes today and found myself reading the board and so , here I go:

In regards to this topic, I am sure I am like most gay men who probably had fears during the teen years facing a showerroom full of guys and a budding sexuality. It normally equaled fear, fear, fear. Of what? throwing a boner, being caught peeking, allowing your fear show. Luckily, we had only 5 minutes to strip, shower, towel, and get going to the next class, that help to keep me occupied.

As I grew older and came into more myself, I never let it be an issue. I concentrated on taking a shower, I was usually so tired from the workout, rushing to get dressed and on to my where I need to be that I had no time to worry about the possible homoreroticism of the situation. I also think a level of maturity has to be with you to present yourself as a person who a good amount of intergrity and self-esteem to that you are not that sterotypical gay male, always on the prowl, sexualizing any and every male situation. I always had the stance that if you interested, have the decency to be a man and present yourself as man, not some ass grabbing, ball clutching, preditor.

The few times that actually happen to me in the shower at the gym, I made it clear in no disputable terms that I was not impressed, interested or "into" to such beahvior regardless of what many gay men may view as normal behavior. I don't.

If for some reason, you become aroused, no biggie (no pun intended), be discrete, be cool, and act accordingly, use your towel. It will go away in what will seem an enternity, but it will go away.You will not be the first man who has had that happen in the lockerroom. Remember, you're still a guy, and guys are the kings of denial, just get passed it without attracting attention.

In the meantime, get out there and SWIM - Have FUN!