I read the news today that Jesse Helms is going to have heart surgery this week.

(link to full story)

Now correct me if I'm remembering the story wrong, but isn't this impossible? I thought the tinsmith forgot to give him a heart (or at least it's 10 sizes too small).

I can't imagine the surgeons will find one in there when they cut him open.

Let's hope the heart surgeon starts at the soles of his feet.

Usually I would never say this, but in his case I'll make an exception.

I hope he dies on the table and suffers intense pain just before kicking the bucket.

I lived in North Carolina until recently, and there was an interesting story about Helms and one of his proteges, who wanted to go into politics. So, with Helms's help, he got elected as mayor of Raleigh and served two terms. Now it was widely considered an open secret that this protege was gay. I can't say why, exactly - he was in his forties and never married and never seemed to be dating anyone, but on the other hand he came down pretty hard on the gay bars in town while he was mayor. (He was a Helms protege, after all.) But there was a general tacit agreement that he was gay (rather than just rumored to be gay) and he certainly never said anything to the contrary.

So he was a pretty popular mayor and he started making it known that he was interested in running for governor. And (here's where the rumor comes in) the story is that Helms nixed the idea because, whereas he (Helms) could handle the idea of a gay guy being mayor of Raleigh, he couldn't handle the idea of a gay guy being governor of North Carolina. That was just going too far. In any case, the protege abruptly dropped out of the race, gave up politics altogether when his mayoral term was over and left the state. I think he's doing PR work in New York now.

Just to add a sports twist: this mayor was also rumored to be dating Brady Anderson at one point. I always thought he was an uber-nerd so this struck me as pretty laughable, but it's true that he was really into rollerblading.

[quote]Originally posted by Stephen:
Now it was widely considered an open secret that this protege was gay. I can't say why, exactly - he was in his forties and never married and never seemed to be dating anyone, but on the other hand he came down pretty hard on the gay bars in town while he was mayor. (He was a Helms protege, after all.) But there was a general tacit agreement that he was gay (rather than just rumored to be gay) and he certainly never said anything to the contrary.

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If he was gay, he should have been outed. No ifs, ands or buts.

Aren't the advances in microsurgery just amazing?

I wish Mr. Helms a full recovery, a long and healthy life and continuing evolution in his views. Period.

BTW a premature welcome to the over 40 club Joe. There is life here..and a lot of fun too

[quote]Originally posted by sportinlife:
BTW a premature welcome to the over 40 club Joe. There is life here..and a lot of fun too

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The Flyers are 0-4 since I turned 40.
The Sixers are 0-2 since I turned 40.
The Phillies are 1-4 (prior to tonight) since I turned 40.
No guys are knocking down my door to get to me...not in Philly or here in my temporary Baltimore home.

Where's the fun????????

[quote]Originally posted by Stephen:
Just to add a sports twist: this mayor was also rumored to be dating Brady Anderson at one point. I always thought he was an uber-nerd so this struck me as pretty laughable, but it's true that he was really into rollerblading.

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Never heard that rumor when I lived in Chapel Hill thank the lord. But yeah, that guy was a definite queer boy, ha! Bad thing is, he had this vendetta against the gay clubs in Raleigh. Though I didnt like them much either.

I believe repairs are to be made to Helms's Heart Facsimile. Its location remains a secret, but given Helms's brain is in his arse....

Smoothboy
Death to all Fanatics - Malaclypse the Younger


[quote]Originally posted by OlympicFan:
I read the news today that Jesse Helms is going to have heart surgery this week.

(link to full story)

Now correct me if I'm remembering the story wrong, but isn't this impossible? I thought the tinsmith forgot to give him a heart (or at least it's 10 sizes too small).

I can't imagine the surgeons will find one in there when they cut him open.

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I heard they are going to put one in since he has never had one before. I'm sure it will be an artifical heart, he would reject a real one.