Subject: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Texan?


Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Texan?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with

you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:
* Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
* Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?
* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
* Could we run away?
* What does my wife think? What about the kids?
* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
* What does the law say about this situation?
* Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
* Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
* Should I call 9-1-1?
* Why is this street so deserted?
* We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
* This is all so confusing!
* I need to discuss this with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer:
* BANG!

Texan's Answer:
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....
(sounds of reloading)
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ............

LOL...the problem here is; that's the Texan answer for everything...

Two lesbians are walking down the street with their child and...

Texan's Answer:
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....
(sounds of reloading)
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ............

A little lost puppy is walking down the street and stops to take a little puppy poo and...

Texan's Answer:
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....
(sounds of reloading)
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ............

Jeff Gordon is wal...

Texan's Answer:
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....
(sounds of reloading)
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ............

[ August 17, 2006, 07:24 AM: Message edited by: Maddog ]

Thats true. Texans tend to shoot first and ask questions later, but its better to be safe than sorry.
I cracked up when I got this in an email. From what I have experienced these responses on the email are pretty close to what you would get from these 3 groups.

Well I can assure you as a Dem who has played many hours of Halo that if a man, terrorist or not, was charging at me with a knife and I had a loaded gun in my hand, I would have no problem taking out a kneecap or two. wink

Quite the cute joke! Wait a cotton pickin' minute! I resemble that remark.

LoL..I hear ya Maddog. If you have any kind of common sense and you have a gun your gonna take out the guy who's trying to do harm to you.
This is more of the philosophy that I see comin from the Dems. Lets talk and talk and talk some more. Go to the U.N. a few times and waste time there gettin resolutions that they have no intention of backing up.
You can only do so much talkin before you gotta do something. Trying to passify the enemy isnt gonna work so action has got to be taken sooner or later.
I consider myself independent. I vote person not party. I look at the big picture on things and while the Dems are good on gay issues, I dont think we would be as safe as a country right now had Kerry won. We are in a fine mess as it is. We dont need to get in any deeper.
I know that my views wont sit well with a lot of guys on here, but I cant help that. We all have our takes on things. I appreciate any discussion.

Republican's Answer:

Run to the nearest gun shop. Trade in the Glock 40 because it is obviously not good enough.

Max out all your credit cards on Rockets, Landmines, A Humvee, and ordering the most expensive body armor, night vision goggles, and multi band secure radios you can find - then spend your kids future earnings (be sure to mortgage their souls too) on a brand new weapon system to build a defense SHIELD - and order it delivered next year after the expensive feasibility study is done by the company you work for.

Buy 6 (six) .44 magnums (After all its what Harry used) and 100 boxes of shells for immediate use.

Run back to your wife and kids at the crime scene where you see their bloody bodies on the sidewalk.

Sit down and read the directions, call tech support in India or China, to the .44 magnum that was built in Korea.

Tell anyone who comes along that it was a bunch of damn Commie's that attacked you, that a bunch of liberal Judges in black ran up and tied your hands behind your back, and that it is all the fault of those godless non christian unbelievers down the street who speak and smell funny and look diff'rent.

Texan Answer?

Put up a fence and get your friends to patrol it with you.

Eat some BBQ Ribs and Baked Beans.

Then Shoot him anyway. (Hell its only funn'in!!)


Independents answer?

Give the Gun to my partner: He's an even better shot than I am!

Rob

[ August 17, 2006, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: ITJock ]

Totally funny Rob.

***WARNING...POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS WARNING...POTENTIAL RACIST COMMENT WARNING***

I believe the Republican's answer would be:

1) Shoot the gun; fail to hit terrorist; when terrorist hides in the nearest alley you...

2) Go to the next block, knock down a door, shoot several members of the family living there, even though they have no relationship to the person with the knife (but do sort of look like him); make a citizens arrest of the dad (who in fact was abusive); take another member of the family who may or may not have ever done anything illegal and torture him for several days; and then stand there and watch the surviving family members slowly kill each other (not to mention they intentionally kill your son and maim your daughter in the crossfire);

3) Loudly denounce anyone who wonders why you didn't just get the terrorist when you had a chance and instead attacked this other family.

Oh, somewhere in there, apropos of nothing, you scapegoat gays and activist judges for trying to destroy your marriage. People then send you money.

I'm embarrassed he's from Texas.

Your embarassed who's from Texas?

Republican answer:

* "We'll get this terrorist dead or alive"
* After coming up short, divert attention and
resources towards "terrorists" that had
nothing to do with said attack.
* Mix in some rape, torture, murder and shooting
3 year olds in the head.
* After hundreds of thousands dead, $8 billion
dollars per month spent and no end in sight
pat yourself on back for the "catostrophic
success"!
* Wrap yourself in flag and ignore reality.

"Mission Accomplished"

[ August 18, 2006, 08:15 AM: Message edited by: RazorbackTX ]

Oh, come on. Anyone with half a brain would know that a Democrat would be so oblivious that he wouldn't even notice the terrorist killing his family, but once the deed was done, would blame it on the Republicans.

LXN

Chuckle:

NYC Answer:

Yeah? So What? Get in Line w/ the ten thousand other GUN wielding nuts behind you.

MA/Southie Boston Answer:

Borrow the knife to shuck some clams and lobsters for Chowda. Then stick the knife up his ass, after all he ain't a Southie is he?

Vermont Answer:

Wait exactly two seconds until he is either buried in SNOW or stuck in the MUD. Then drive over him with your Suburu Outback.

FL Answer:

It's Summer. Don't worry, Be Happy. Any Knife wielding terrorist who tries to move that fast in this heat will collapse of HEATSTROKE long before he is any danger.

Ft Benning Answer:

Your our kinda guy!

Drown him, shove him into the obstacle course, throw him out of a perfectly functioning helecopter at 100 ft, but a tan beret on his head, hand him a bigger knife, body armor, and a decent rifle. Then send him overseas to fight.

R

Chuckle:

Gay Answer:

Oh MY GOD - What is that he is wearing? That really just doesn't compliment your skin type, and Honey, just as a friend you can't wear that kind of pants unless you are still in High School. And those shoes, the Shoes just won't do at all. And that knife is just so ... 80's!

You have really let yourself go, we got to get you into the gym to get a little definition on, if you know what I mean.

Ambush Fashion Makeover time.

Take him shopping so he can dress himself properly.

R

[ August 18, 2006, 09:33 AM: Message edited by: ITJock ]

It just seemed like we needed a Dixie Chicks moment.

Definitely...but in Cracker's defense, we are still early on in man's evolution.

Some of us might be a little ahead of others but mostly we're all as close to what Man may ultimately become as the monkey's who fling poo at each other are to us today.