George W. Bush
The White House, Washington DC, USA
OBJECTIVE:
Secure the wealth of my family while fleecing the rest of the country of all its money.
FAMILY:
- My grandfather was a Nazi sympathizer who did business with Adolf Hitler.
- My father’s bank deregulations led to the savings-and-loan collapse of the 1980s and cost the American taxpayers 1.4 trillion dollars.
- Both of my children, as well as all of the children of my brother, Jeb, have been in trouble with the law.
- My other brother, Neil, divorced his wife after 22 years of marriage, contracting a venereal disease, and possibly fathering another woman’s baby.
EDUCATION:
- I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
- I was a cheerleader.
- I joined a secret society with ties to several branches of organized crime.
MILITARY:
- I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.
- I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
- By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
LAW ENFORCEMENT:
- I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.
- My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
- I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
- I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975 by buying an oil company, but I couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
- I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
- With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
- I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
- I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
- I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
- I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
- I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
- I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
- In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and the trend continues every month.
- During my tenure, the most private bankruptcies were filed in any 12-month period.
- During my tenure, the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period was set.
- The members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.
- My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
- I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. President.
- I am the all-time U.S. and world record holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
- My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
- During my tenure, the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market occurred.
- My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
- I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
- I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
- I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate ripoffs in history.
- I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
- I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
- I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
- I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the U. S. government.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
- I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
- I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
- I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of TV.
- I set the all time Presidential record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.
- I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in war time.
- In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
- All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
- All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
- All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed and unavailable for public review.
http://www.sardonic-bomb.com/archives/000047.html
Thanks Scott
Rob