I don't know. What do you do?

where's the rolling on the floor laughing smiley when you need it

Hopefully the guy who won the Powerball is a tubby, bald guy. that way he can get liposuction and hair plugs and lead a fulfilling, meaningful life.

Well,if he's reading this thread,I am available!

George,

We'll have Lil Stinger post his pic in a month to PROVE he didnt win the powerball

As I said, I liked the \"losing weight can get you laid\" title better. When it comes to non-sports areas or sports I'm not really interested in, I'm a little more likely to read a thread that has an interesting or funny title. There are threads in the Non-Sports area called \"Bored\" and \"Dating.\" Allen's title for this thread is much better. I don't consider it misleading; in fact, since I had read the article in the newspaper I knew what it was before clicking on the thread.

And I don't really think he posted this to get attention for himself. Even if he's done that in the past, I don't believe he did so this time -- he made no reference to himself, he didn't link to his pictures -- and he didn't deserve to be attacked for it.

Liar. I tried to get your autograph and you had your bodyguard push me away. wink

I am going to have to photoshop some fat and bald pictures of myself. I am feeling left out

Oh Bless your heart Allen

Sorry if that had any innuendo

Could you possibly post a link to an article that is not worthless? I would appreciate it. I could learn something from it even if you do not. It may lead me to believe that this is all not a worthless waste of time and hopeless. I may get the motivation to ride one of my bikes to the gym. Thanks in advance, Erik

LOL.....Erik just say No!

What if you like em with some meat on their bones?
Nathan, I thought you were quite attractive with the weight on. I guess it all depends on ppl's preferences...

Being friday and all

BUMP

HOLLA!

FYI

Stealing other people's material wont get you laid either... not even in Hawaii.

Someone needs to warn me that stuff goes on in this "Fitness" forum. I just discovered this little jewel of merriment, and feel left out. wink

News Flash! Being gorgeous can also get you laid...if you need to.

Holla.

I am still feeling incomplete due to the lack of accounting humor

Oh yeah. Or would that be 'holla"? Jalepeno?

Don't confuse holla with hola!

Looks like someone needs to put down the PS2 and stop trying to win the BCS and start paying attention.

HOLLA!

I think you and Stinger are the ones with PS2...I own no such video game equipment.

By the way, I hear being an adult and not playing video games can get you laid...if you need to.

I thought PF and Stinger just played with each other's joysticks

That depends on what you are doing...

If you are biking to the gym and working out (so you can be cut and buff, yes).

If you are laying on the couch eating cheetos, (like stinger does) no you won't.

Then again if you do some meth, you can play PS2, bike to the gym, and work out... all in a 2 hour time slot.

Then come home light up a doobie and eat the cheetos after...

[ November 03, 2005, 08:45 AM: Message edited by: PhillyFan ]

Having a barstool at Roscoes named for you might get you laid...if you need to.

But I concur - laying around, eating cheetos, playing video games, and smoking reefer is no way to get laid. Particularly when your choice in men skews toward older bears.

[ November 03, 2005, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: AU Tiger in ATL ]

Hey, watch it, buddy. I resemble that remark! :mad:

wink

Well if you like older bears, it would.

But we all know that those people should be shot.. one should only go after skinny super models who do meth. Or pumped up drug heads from the gym or circuit parties. Those are the only ones that REALLY count.

Rrowf - Which part? The laying around, cheeto eatin', dope puffin? or the older bears?

The comment wasn't a slap at bears, but simply the realization that a certain cub in Fee-nix won't find his quarry while laying about, eatin cheetos, blah blah blah.

[ November 03, 2005, 09:28 AM: Message edited by: AU Tiger in ATL ]

Yeah, that part. wink

In your world, yes; since you obsess about it constantly on this board.

Rrowf - you need to set up a date with Stinger. You sound perfect for him.

PF - alert the tot that we've found a match for him.

Oh, and holla!

I've tried but it's about lunch time for lil sting (10am-2pm)... grazing time i think it's called... sumthing like that...

HOLLA!

OH WAIT, could this prove you can be a lil big and still get some? hmm, go figure.

[ November 03, 2005, 09:48 AM: Message edited by: PhillyFan ]

And I'm so so so glad you found me PF!!! Just wait until you open up your anniversary gift tonight honey!

You boys are so cute. I thought threads like this were reserved for Fridays.

And Tiggee, just because bears love me does not mean I love bears. If I loved everybody that loves me I it means that I would have to love doofus roommates and internet stalkers.

Grazing time....ROTLMAO. I don't care who you are, but that's funny.

Does this mean that Stinger is now a marshmallow? Is he as wide as he is tall? Do they need to roll him in flour in order to find the wet spot?

Hee hee hee. I'm kidding, of course. Or maybe not.

Back to the theme of the thread -
THINGS THAT CAN GET YOU LAID, IF YOU NEED TO
1. Being wealthy
2. Having a well-publicized 10 inch schlong
3. Biking and tweaking until you have 1% body fat
4. Drinking lots of water
5. Making out with strangers after your 2nd beer
6. Being a whore

HOLLA!

Wow...that's like reading my personal ad on gay.com.

From Stingy So, THAT'S what was hanging out of your shorts the night the hubby and I met y'all at Roscoe's. Ida paid a dolla for a holla at that LOL

Only when talking on the phone to scarlet.

Bless your heart Allen Please tell us about your world. What do you obsess about?

Mrs. Erik G

Wow! This thread has really gotten out of control!

Getting out of control can get you laid.

I have no idea how to respond to that.

It's practically Friday, kinda sorta. Time to crank this thread up into high gear. Please respond with your favorite tip on "how to get laid, if you need to."

*Getting lipo might get you laid.
*Being the doctor who performs lipo will DEFINITELY get you laid. Or at least so in L.A., where many a queen thinks he can sleep his way into a free nip and tuck.

*Being a bartender might get you laid.
*Being a lawyer-bartender probably won't get you laid, and may lead to a lifetime of panting over every new "member" at Outsports. wink

*Losing weight might get you laid.
*Losing enough weight that you resemble a "human skeleton in Armani" will definitely chase people away.

HOLLA! WORD!

...if you need to.

Posting to Outsports over 13,000 times can get you laid.

In Bizarro World. wink

My best tip on getting laid...if you need to...

*find the biggest dork that's cute in that odd sort-of-way and make him your best friend, that way when you go out you are always the cute hot one of the group that looks really cool no matter what

2nd best tip...

*if you've got nice biceps and like to tease a little, post more skin pics in your bigmuscle profile

Who knew?! wink and yes I need to!

[ November 04, 2005, 04:26 AM: Message edited by: eddiecat ]

One HGN looking for stud to show me the way!! Good tip but it usually works the other way the "dork" gets the guys. LOL!!

Well in Sting's case, the dork may get the guys while the "stud" gets the trannies.

Maybe gaining weight can get you laid. Think about it, confidence is beautiful and what better way to say you're confident that being a middle aged pudge? Also, this let's people know that you aren't a shallow, tweaked out twig of a man.

Also, withhold sex from your husband and then teasing him will get you laid.

Wow, I can't believe that dork PF hasn't responded to this yet. Maybe he had too much Three Olives Cherry Vodka last night.

Nah..... I just wore him out..... wink

I refuse to go to Stings level.

I see myself as being above that chilish level.


This is for some of you...

Having 200 bucks in your pocked, could get ya laid.

Things that won't help you get laid...

*swearing and yelling at a big screen t.v.

*puking in flower beds

*ignoring flirtatious advances via the internet


Things that will help get you laid...if you need to...

*doing tequila shots before 11 am

*doing tequila shots before enjoying "official" winter biking in the desert

Things that WON'T get you laid...

Wearing a Moss Raiders jersey and rooting for the Vikes.

Back hair

Not buying enough "batteries"

Doofus roomates with pictures of missing head hair.

Dressing like a skater when you're over 25

[ November 04, 2005, 12:26 PM: Message edited by: PhillyFan ]

LOL!!! Is that the way it is? I have to meet this sting? Is he all talk no action? Have a good weekend guys. wink

Things that WON'T get you laid:

Still resembling your junior high school picture after age 30

Nextel Direct Connect to Daddy in Reno ("Hey Baby Boy")

Eating Chicken Strips for every meal

Un-manscaped underarm hair

Being a "point whore" in darts