Have we had this conversation? No matter...

I met my first "lover" when we were both working for a local gay community newspaper (yes, GCN), and my second at a gay jamboree/summer camp sort of thing.

Here I am, in the market for a committed relationship again (the best one of all this time!), and I know all about getting involved in activities, leaving your options open and just living your life. But it's been a while, and I figure there are ways to improve my chances of meeting a guy whose bill I might fit, and vv. I suppose a personals ad couldn't hurt...

Meanwhile, how did you meet your special guy/ gal/ f**kbuddy/ partner/ significant other, as the case may be?

Great new thread. I have only had one boyfriend in my life. I am very picky. I actually met him in a chat room a few years ago when I lived in Oklahoma. His screen name was ESPN. Naturally that grabbed my attention. Turns out he was a former football player for the Univ. of Maryland, a sports editor for a newspaper, and a great looking guy with a heart of gold. I fell for him almost instantly.

We were a "couple" for only 6 months or so, but there was no denying the chemistry. We lived together for three years after we broke up. He moved to another state a little over a year ago, but we stay in constant contact and remain best friends.

I am also patiently looking for another boyfriend. I have friends and I enjoy life. I have to admit it's kinda tough to find someone to go with me to football and baseball games sometimes. I had tickets to the Final Four this year but couldn't find anyone to go. Sports was one of the big things I had in common with my ex. Through the years I've learned to go with the flow, if its meant for me to have another lover he will appear.

I guess I also learned from my experience that the pain of a breakup does not have to be everlasting. Although you may lose a lover, you may gain something even more valuable in the end. A great friend and a true lifelong "relationship".

I met my partner of 7 years at a gay pub in England not far from the Air Force base we were both stationed at. It was tricky because he was married, but he got the divorce and was discharged for being gay. I stayed in another few years and we lived in Germany until my enlistment was up.

When I met my partner, he was a friend of my first boyfriend. I had just come out of the closet at age 27 while living in my hometown in Oklahoma, and my boyfriend was the only other gay person I knew. We lived two blocks from each other, and one evening shortly after we met I walked over to his house for a... um... visit. After the "visit", we were sitting in his living room when a police car pulled in the driveway. The cop was a gay friend of his who was on duty, and he was stopping by to meet the new guy (me!).

The cop guy and I hit it off and became friends, but I didn't think he was someone I would want to date. Weeks later when boyfriend #1 and I broke up, cop guy provided a shoulder for me to cry on, and we became best friends - nothing more - for almost a year. During that time he was fired from the PD for being gay, which happens in small towns in Oklahoma. He was packed up and prepared to leave town to seek employment in greener pastures, but just before he was to leave, we took a little weekend trip together to celebrate New Years Eve. We left town that weekend as friends and returned home madly in love. He put off his plans to leave town, and a few months later moved in with me. This Sunday is the 11th anniversary of that day. In the intervening time, we got out of Oklahoma.

I met my partner of over 4 years at a party at a mutual friends home. He walked me out to my car and asked if he could call me sometime. I gave him my number and he indeed did call the following week. We went out to dinner and to one of my friends birthday party and had an awesome first date. We dated for a little over 2 1/2 years before moving in together. In September of 2002 we moved in together and our life is great. I love him with all my heart.

I met my partner of 12 years at a lonely hearts club meeting. We were a small group of gay guys and lesbians and one of the lesbians worked with him. She told him there was this cute "bear" guy (me )at her meetings he had to meet. So, he came to the meeting twice. The first meeting we met and talked, the second meeting he asked me out and from then on there were no more meetings for us at that group. In fact, we went on our first date and now it has lasted 12 years and counting.

I met my sweet boy almost three years ago in a military gym, of all places. We furtively checked each other out a few times around the weight room, but I gave up (too dangerous to pick up guys on post, y'know), so I did a quick ab workout and then went to get my stuff from my locker. As it turns out, Mr. Hottie had been assigned a locker RIGHT NEXT to mine and he was there towelling off (woof!). He grinned when I open my locker and asked me, "How old are you, puppy?" That I didn't punch him for such an obnoxious pick-up line is still today a mystery.

So, then we went out to a dinner/movie date, which ended in no kiss. So, the next night I dragged his butt out to the beach at midnight (pitch dark) and interrupted some banal diatribe of his on phospheresant algae with a kiss. Still today, that's the only thing that'll shut the bastard up.

I met my partner of 7 years 2 weeks after we both began college at the university of nebraska-lincoln. I was just beginning to come out and he wasn't gay yet. Anyway, I had gone to a str8 bar with some new friends and he showed up to meet one of the guys (president of the GLBT student union) there. We all (9 people, guys & girls) went back to somebodies apartment to talk a little more freely.

And becasue I was the new guy, they were asking me what kind of guy I wanted and I told them...tall, athletic, Baskeball player prefered, red hair (not a carrot top), solid build, Olive complexion and smooth. It turns out that Phillip (my partner) was making a list of the requirements.

The funny thing is he didn't then, nor does he now fulfill any of the requirements I had then.

So, 6 months after we met, he asked me out. And we've been together ever since.

PS. I did see the guy who met all those requirements playing ball at the student rec center, but I don't think he noticed me .

What a great thread!

I met my partner of seven years, through a mutual friend. My partner had been friends with Kelli for over 10 years, and Kelli and I were co-workers and dive buddies!

I wanted to organize a birthday get together for Kelli doing gay bingo. The problem was I only knew all of our mutual co-worker friends, so she had me get in touch with my future partner to coordinate getting the rest of her friends there.

We had organized this by sending email for about a month. After the party we had continued emailing and talking on the phone. One thing led to another and I asked him out. It just happened to be on valentines day. We have been together ever since.

Awwww, I get all teary-eyed and verklempt reading this thread.

Same here. I thought I would end up with a guy more like myself: a museum-going, documentary-watching, facial-moisturizing, loves-to-shop queer. Instead I got a gay guy in straight man's clothes, and I'm talkin' plaid flannel shirts from Wal-Mart. My hubby can be "rude, crude, and socially unaccaptable" at times -- one of those guys you would never think is gay -- but everyone (including me ) loves him for being so unabashadly himself, and not putting on airs for anybody. Oh, down deep he likes to shop and go to musicals, but I won't tell anybody.

Does he cally you max baby?

Rude crude and socially unacceptable? Dunno anyone like that...

Same here. I met my huzzie on gay.com the Monday after 9/11. It was supposed to be a typical, um, come-and-go, but later that week we met for lunch. I moved in with him a few months later. Whodathunk a beer-drinking Jersey boy would wind up with a theatre guy from Kentucky via Florida via Indiana, who went to a Christian college and likes bluegrass, and who didn't know squat about baseball? (Typical questions from him: "How many foul balls does a batter get before he's out?" "What's an ERA?") He was so adorably clueless. But later that fall he was calling me from out of town to check on how the playoff series against the A's was going, and he consolled me after the '01 WS when I was curled up in the fetal position for a half hour. He enjoys the game now, but not as fervently as I do; he's consigned himself to being a baseball widow (especially this week with the free MLB digital package preview).

So, yeah, it is possible to meet the love of your life online.

I agree with that. I met Jon on AOL. We chatted for a week, had a date or two, and then we were together for good. We are getting "married" on May 23--the date of our 5 year anniversary!

Josh

I met my hubby of 10 years at an Auto Show. The International Auto Show in the DC Convention Center. I was there with my sister and her girlfriend and my pschyo(ex happily living on Prozac now in Cali) bf. Who pretty much walked off on his own. I saw a guy I knew and he was there with this cute tall strawberry blonde boy. So I was kidding with the friend and found out that blondey was his neighbor and they were just running around. So while my friend wandered over to talk to my bf, his neighbor hung around with me. We ended up in a Ford Ranger pickup (I was looking for a new truck) and talked for like 30-40 mins. My sister ever being the watchful person she is, noticed the chemistry and made sure to ask for his phone number (apparently no one in my family liked the psycho).

We became friends (current bf, future bf and myself) and hung out at movies, the bars, parties etc. Well, 3 months later, psycho decided he wanted to break up and after two and half years of knock down drag out fights,I couldn't agree more. So the night after I broke up with him, I had dinner with future bf. The chemistry was still there and I can remember the first time I laid eyes on that naked Soccer player body. He's still one of the sexiest men I know and here we are 10 years later.

It was the Saturday following Thanksgiving, 1981. A couple I have known since high school (actually, I knew Davey since high school, Arlene I knew since Hebrew School) were throwing an open house for their new purchase in the Hollywood Hills above Outpost Road. The house had a wonderful backyard deck with a built-in seating area. I had gone out there to avoid the crowd in the living room. After a couple of minutes, Kyle O'Toole (he worked with the host's wife) came out; we chatted out there for about 45 minutes. the next day (Sunday,) he called them for my phone number--by the following Thursday, we were pretty much a couple. We were together until he passed away last year. Arlene always says that until that night, she didn't know Kyle was gay or she would have fixed us up earlier.

By the way, wonderful thread; the stories are lovely.

~Adam

[ April 09, 2004, 05:59 PM: Message edited by: Adam ]

Yep- I did too - 5 years & goin strong. Long distance but worth it! He is GREAT! - not my expected type in some ways but the kindest most caring guy!

Met at Woody's. Second floor. South of the bar, east of the computers. Him sitting on a stool next to the wall. Me on a stool by a table about 7 feet northeast.

When you come to the Outsports Convention you can visit the very spot for luck. I suspect cupid is still hovering about there.

And if not, the bar is close by to drown your miseries. Beer works but I recommend "gimlets".

[ April 10, 2004, 01:47 AM: Message edited by: sportinlife ]

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!

Met online back with Yahoo Messenger has personals. We never dated anyone else after we met and it's been 3.5 years now.

Chris and I met ten years ago, through an ad I posted in Seattle Gay News. We courted for a long time, and did the long-distance relationship thing. I think Southwest Airlines and MCI owe their continued existence to us! Finally we moved in together, and bought a restaurant. We were very happy together until Chris was killed in a traffic accident a year ago next week.

He was the only partner I ever had, although there had been teenage friends, a few dates...

I learned a lot about unconditional acceptance; Chris and I were very different people. I learned that Mr. Perfect doesn't exist, although Mr. Very Good does - and that the rest is work and commitment and kindness. We could disagree and still accept eachother, and even got to enjoy a lot of eachothers quirks.

A month or two after Chris died, an old friend came out to me, and said the only reason he had never done so before was that he didn't want to come between Chris and me. The two of us are now dating, and working or way towards what I hope will be a good, supportive and loving relationship.

Nat

There are computers at Woody's now?

Good for you for meeting your man there, though. I met my first real boyfriend at Sisters (!), my second (the heartbreaker I met on Thanksgiving and dumped me on Valentine's Day) at Uncle's.

FeverDog, do you meet all your boyfriends in Philly (although you live in NY). That's okay, I met one that really broke my heart a few years ago in NYC.

Actually there weren't computers back then. And I don't think there is a Sisters now either, at least not where it used to be. As far as I know Unc's is still going strong, though I haven't been for years. Is the third-floor sports bar somewhat more popular now?

Sisters is very much around...I don't know anything about a different location. Uncles had/has a sports bar? Never knew that.

Sorry Joe. My bad. It's Bike Stop that had the Sports bar. And I may be confusing Sisters with a restaurant called Sorella (sister in Italian?) that I think used to be on fourth near the BF bridge.

Maybe I need to get out more.

Actually met my partner in a bar in Miami called Uncle Charlie's (It's now a Volvo dealership). We've been together 12 years.

Oh man, I remember Uncle Charlie's. They had pictures of all the bartenders thorugh the years. They were all hot!! I loved the raised dance floor also. I had some fun times in that bar.

I remember hearing from friends that it had closed.

We met online in 1995. Still together because we have been there for each other through the ups and downs. We are totally different -- South Texas and Northeast Philly -- but it works.

Damn araanib... I am trying to read these at work and yours is giving me some wood... it's all that locker room talk. Ha!!

I met my bf at a bar. We were introduced by a guy who we both don't like at all. Although we talked, I wasn't really interested, but since the guy who introduced us said he is a very decent guy, I gave my phone number to him and I thought, 'what the hell'. He called two days later, asked me out to have lunch with him. He was late, and I was ready to give him the speech that I wasn't interested, but when I opened my door, he instantly took my breath away.

8 years later, after some nasty fights and 1 hour long break ups, several vacations together, wedding, family gatherings and drama, joint bank accounts and shared mortgage, I am still madly in love with him. And thanks to Mike ( they guy we didn't like), I found my soul mate and I couldn't even imagine my life without him...

I met my partner of 16 years at court, I was the new lawyer in town and he was there to set a case for his firm. He asked if I wanted to play basketball with some friends of his on Saturday. I showed up and found a bunch of new friends to play basketball and hang out with. He and I started doing stuff together and became close friends, neither knew the other was gay. He had an extra room in his house and after a few months he asked if I wanted to move in, which was great, we played sports, went to college football games, watched college bball together, and then ended up doing everything together, except for that one thing that could have sealed the deal. We still didn't know each other were gay, but I was jealous as hell when he went out on a date one night with this ditzy girl. We fell in love without knowing the definition of the word. Then one day the furnace broke and we had to camp out on mattresses in front of the fireplace, and ....

Single now, and I keep hanging around gyms hoping that a handsome guy will ask me to play basketball.

Will you play basketball with me, this weekend Rob ?

I met my partner September 4, 1980 in a bar in Toronto called the St Charles Tavern, (now closed). He was the bouncer for the disco upstairs. Well, we met on the Friday, talkedon the Saturday, had our first date on the Sunday, and I moved in the Monday. And 23.5 years later we're still together.
And getting married at the cottage this summer!!

Yup, that's how BostonGirl and I met: planetout.com. Met for "coffee" at a La Madeleine and haven't looked back since (although the U-Haul didn't come for awhile after).

Rob, you have one of my favorite stories on this thread. It's obvious your relationship was much more than sex, because it started out as a great friendship. The gay world needs much more of that. Just one thought though...you say you are waiting for a handsome guy to ask you to play basketball? Why not ask a handsome guy yourself?

I don't have a great story to tell, but I know I wouldn't be with the guy I am with right now (the first too) if it weren't for some people on this board! Thanks for the suggestions that many advised. He's perfect for me......love sports (and damn is he horny when Purdue wins!), TALL (some of you know how much I fall for the tall guys!), very handsome......and so much fun to be with. I love him so much.....and still get chills when he wraps his arms around me!

Oh and to make Timber happy , we started out as friends (you can read about this in another long and winding thread) and when we started dating, we didn't really do much sexually for quite some time.....but it was well worth the wait....

I met my partner at a recovery party after the Sydney Mardi Gras 12 years ago. He lived in Sydney, me in Melbourne. Had a 6 month long distance courtship & he then moved to Melbourne to be with me. Its been fantastic.

No Story to tell here. I have had one "boyfriend" in the 15 odd years I've been out, and I've been bitter about it a long time.

STILL, thanks for sharing your stories of love and sweetness, because despite my bitterness, I remain hopeful. I know there's a guy for me, I just have to believe I'm worth the time. I cringe to say that because it's such a "Stuart Smally" thing to say, but then it is actually true.

I want to reiterate: Thank you for sharing your stories. It's very heartwarming, and inspiring.

Now bball6'9, you are already married, so don't go flirting. And besides, we are going to play ball on Saturday, and I hope deep into Sunday as well.

Timber7, thanks for the advise, you are right, gotta take the bull by the horns, but it is easier said than done sometimes. Asking guys out can be so intimidating, in so many ways partnered life is easier than being single.

Even though we both went to Auburn, we didn't know each other there. We're both CPA's and his firm lost a client to my firm and I went to review the workpapers. We met and talked for what seemed like forever. He was dating a girl from Auburn that I knew and thought, hey, he's a nice guy but he could do much better than her. About a year later, I was in the local gay bar with friends and in he walks. We started talking and we set up a date for the next week. We've been together for 12 years and, thank God, it gets easier and better with each year.

Either that or the phosporescent algae.

Going by almost all of these stories, the old cliche' of "love happening when you least expect it" seems to hold true.

I am truly enjoying these stories. Keep them coming.

I never really believed the old saying "It'll happen when you least expect it." I always thought it was something people said just to cheer you up. But it really is true. I met my guy at a tennis tournament in Miami a few months back. Wasn't looking for love, just went down to play some tennis, spend some time with a few friends, end of story. I met him through a friend of mine, we hit it off right away and one thing led to another and before I knew it we were an item. Unfortunately we don't live in the same state (thank God he doesn't live as far as Florida, though), so the long distance thing can be tough at times, but you don't argue with love when it's staring you in the face.

...the Hotbed of Homosexuality that it is.

These are awesome stories. I am truly verklempt. What impresses me the most is how many are/were actually long term!!! My best to all of you. wink I have yet to find the ONE that lasts. My last, of many, was six months (ended two weeks ago)and feel I would like some time out of the dating pool (if only that doc down the hall wasn't so dang good looking) for now, anyway.

That is not to say that I haven't been in love, they have just turned into being much better as friendships, not PARTNERships. Keep the stories coming!

Jeff

Actually I'm one of the guys who met someone online (AOL) in a tailored chat room "men looking for men". Ending up chatting, then talking on the phone, then meeting for a date and so on. We've been together almost five years now and am very happy with the outcome. Won't deny there were a lot of incompatibles I met online prior to him, but I liked that with the online experience we could both screen a lot of the major issues via profiles and chat before we met to see if "chemistry" existed.

Wow. Reading these stories makes me hopeful...and damned near desperate. Yes, I hate being single, and yeeah, people tell me "it'll happen when you least expect it," so hope springs eternal.

Congratulations, guys!

I met my fiance about five years ago when he was a student in my statistics course. I wasn't attracted to him then, which was fine because I don't believe in professors messing around with students.

But we had a good friend in common, so I would see him socially occasionally. He says that he wasn't sure that I was gay until we ran into each other at a gay bar. We had our first date--Shakespeare in the Park--about a week later. That was almost three years ago, and we've been together ever since.

This reminded me of an aspect to my story that I left out. My partner and I were born in the same hospital and grew up one block away from each other, but he's three years older than me so we didn't know each other at all in school. We didn't meet until I was 27, on the day he stopped at my then-boyfriend's house.

But my sister is my partner's age, and they went to school together from kindergarten to high school, although they hung in different social circles. While cleaning out my mother's attic a few years ago, we found my sister's grade school notebooks, and in the fifth grade she had doodled her name + my hubby's name inside a heart.

Wow, So many LT guys on here. My significant relationships have all happened completely out of the blue. But it's been a long time since the last one and I've been not expecting anything for awhile now.