People who quote an entire post just to add one line of reply....ooops! Can we just spank these people instead?

(Edited to remove quote, even though it sort of ruins the joke...but it does make the thread easier to read...)

[ December 23, 2003, 09:11 PM: Message edited by: Joe in Philly ]

Hey, MIB and I actually agree on a few things. I'll sign on to almost every item on his list.

Let me add:

1. As to people who use checks in the grocery store: I'd shoot them all. Especially now that virtually all ATM cards are actually debit cards, checks are just unnecessary, and even if much data is pre-filled, the stores have verification procedures that add a ton of time to the transaction.

2. Toll roads... if there's a line at the toll booth, then there's no excuse for you waiting until you're at the toll booth to look for your money. Look for it while you're in that line. Or better yet, have it ready before you even leave your house. Or even better (if you're on the east coast) get one of the big brother transponders so you don't have to use cash.

3. Airport lines -- why are you fishing for your id and emptying your pockets only when you get to the metal detector? Do it while you're going through the line. If everyone did, the line would move so much faster.

4. People who can't find their seats. Stadiums and airplanes are arranged in a very logical fashion. If you're in seat 21B, you're right behind row 20 and next to 21A. I am constantly amazed by people for whom finding their seat is like the quest for the holy grail.

5. Continuing the airport theme, people so self important that the 20 extra minutes waiting for their baggage is so crucial that they'll try to fit all their earthly belongings into the overhead bin (and will stand in the aisles for 5 mintes blocking traffic while they do this, rather than stepping into their row to let people by); people seated in the rear of the aircraft too f**king lazy to bring their bag back there with them, so they use a compartment in the front (what are we seated in the front supposed to use, ass****s).

I'm sure more will spring to mind.

My only real disagreement with MIB here: the screaming babies on planes. I hate it too, but the babies really can't help it -- and there's often little a parent can do to stop it (although a pacifier can sometimes do the trick). Now the six-year old constantly kicking the back of my seat while oblivious parent reads or yammers to spouse...even money whether we shoot tyke or the oblivious parent. On that one, I've actually turned around and spoken to the offending child myself.


Like MIB, I'm sure I'll come up with more.

In the meantime, Merry New Year.

This one strikes a nerve with me personally. How could I have neglected to include it?

Here in Illinois, we have what is called "I-PASS," which I'm sure is the same thing you folks out east have. It's an electronic toll thingie so one doesn't have to dig for coins.

I HATE it when someone is fumbling for coins at the toll booth. Like they didn't know the toll booth was coming up. Hello?!? Pay toll one mile, morons! That means have your coins ready. Don't make me wait while you arrive at the toll booth and you look around like a deer caught in the headlights, as if you had no idea the toll booth was there. You should be shot!

Same thing with people waiting in line to see a movie. They get to the window and suddenly realize, oh, they have to decide on a movie and pay for it. They've only been standing in line for 10 minutes, yammering on their "phucking" (tm MIB) cellphones about phuck-all.

Seriously, people, think ahead, be prepared. It's truly not that difficult and the rest of humanity will stop giving you the stink-eye.

Also? It's "12 Items or Fewer." Stupid grocery stores...

Thank you! Anal me realizes this but I didn't mention it. As we know, "less" is used when a comparison is made between two things of a singular nature or involving one or two items. Whenever more than two things are involved in a comparison--including a general quantity of things--then "fewer" is used. Ex: One-third "less" calories is not correct. It should be "fewer" calories.

Same thing for "number" and "amount," where the former is used for multiple items while the latter is used for a more general collective quantity. But I digress...

It's easy enough to use correctly if you remember that if you can count it on your Fingers you use Fewer. At least that's how I remember it.

[ December 23, 2003, 04:09 PM: Message edited by: dwb56 ]

My contribution to this thread...

Female drivers (+) talking on a cellphone (+) while driving an SUV = shot! :mad:

Nothing more irritating than a female driver applying her makeup while driving. Isn't this, like, somewhat dangerous bitch! :confused:

Oh, and I need to add people who spell f**k and f**king with a ph instead of an f . wink

Hmmm, I'll go with people who don't know how to use the auto-scan lanes in grocery stores, yet still use them.

bwahahahaha *rubs hands together*

So many good ones listed.

-People who barrel down the shoulder of the highway before a construction zone/lane closure, thus creating/maintaining the problem they are trying to avoid.

-Cell phones at work. Hell, everywhere. I get customers who cannot pause their conversation for 2 1/2 minutes so I can take their friggin order. Hello? I asked did you want blah blah blah? Then they look at like you're butting into their conversation.

-Then there's the folks who think everything in the restaurant is free.
Can I get more cheese on these gross-ass cheese fries?
Sure, it's 50 cents.
50 cents?
Yes.
For cheese?
Yes.
I ain't payin that.
You ain't gettin extra, then.
or
Well, gulp gulp, my pop ain't full, can I have some more.
or
I ate over half this chili cheese dog before I realized it wasn't hot. I bought it 30 minutes ago and have been blabbing on my cell phone. Can I get my money back?
or
Would you like a receipt?
Why, are they gonna arrest me?
Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, that's so funny! ...Yes, if you can't prove you paid for it after I claim you didn't.

-The toll booth/standing in line time of inaction already mentioned. When we're busy, people can be in line for 10 minutes waiting their turn, yet when it's time to order, they have no clue what they want. And this particular menu board only has 19 items.

I guess what I'm getting around to, is; stupid people make life difficult, and they should be "removed" from the mix. Shot even.

That said, I've done some stupid, inattentive, lazy things in my life, so maybe we should just spank them. wink

Well, I DID do that to not offend the overly puritanical in here--you know, like PhillyFan and William.

[ December 23, 2003, 08:02 PM: Message edited by: MIB ]

How did anyone forget the people who put their seatbacks on airplanes!! Being 6'5'' I'm ready to murder someone, especially if they are under the age of 16 who put their seatbacks, especially all the way. Have some courtesy people and at least LOOK if not ASK the person behind you if they have enough room. Have no fear, those people are never comfortable with my ambitious kneeing into their seats. I can entertain myself for a while making people uncomfortable.

And this happened today. On the highway, when you're merging on an onramp when there's a traffic jam and people just speed right to the end of the onramp and cut off everyone who at least tried to merge when they should. Or when you're in line to turn and people pull up in the lane over where there's not a line and those people want to move into the turn lane. Those people don't get in in front of me, that's for sure. I hate people who think they're better than everyone else and feel the need to cut in line.

Women drivers, regardless of whether there is make-up or a cell phone involved!

I agree-the idiots already stopped at the light, then they turn on their left turn blinker after the light has turned, thus trapping you there behind them!

Idiots who use their cell phones at the gym while others are trying to workout; especially when they have to shout and nobody gives a f**k what they are talking about anyway!

Ugly gay men at clubs who walk by with attitude-like anybody but they and their mothers think they are all that!

People who use "your" instead of "you're"

These men who tweeze, pluck, pencil their eyebrows and look more ridiculous than any woman ever would-yes, I'm talking to you Latin men in L.A.!

People in "Open Relationships" -break up already and stop telling everybody that you have such a great relationship but still let each other have fun on the side!

Men in their 30's or 40's calling themselves "Bois."

[ December 23, 2003, 09:44 PM: Message edited by: tennisbudcali ]

And on a related note...

When we all get onto an expressway via the entrance ramp, there's an extension of it that runs a bit until it merges completely with the regular lanes. I believe this is called the acceleration lane, if my driver's ed. days were correct.

So, people who get onto the entrance ramp then hit the brakes waiting for an opening in traffic should be shot.

Huh? Hey, you morons! That lane is for you to SPEED up and hit the flow of traffic so you merge more safely. Stop hitting the brakes and causing me to almost slam into your dumbass rear end!

1. The Unshushables. Those rude moviegoers who say inappropriate things at inappropriate times. Like that bitch who hollared something childish during the full-frontal nude scene during 28 Days Later. Oh, no! A naked guy!! Grow up, people. Also includes those two old biddies who, during Dancer in the Dark, kept referring to the star as "Bee-zhork." Shut the f**k up and get a clue.

2. Parents who bring kids to R-rated movies. Seven. Nurse Betty. Final Destination. Kill Bill. I saw them all at a late show during the week. Why were there children around me? Some in carriages? If you must corrupt their little minds, please do so at a matinee.

3. Drivers who don't use their turn signal. Don'tcha hate when you're waiting for a car to pass to cross the street, only to see them turn unexpectedly? Me too.

4. Drivers who don't stop on time, therefore blocking the crosswalk. Stop driving in my city if you can't remember pedestrians own the streets.

5. Bikers who feel the need to roar down my street.

6. Loud car stereos. People, you're not cool, just annoying.

7. Those who don't keep to the right on escalators and stairs. Get the f**k out of my way!

8. Tourists who walk in fours. You're blocking the sidewalk, so, again, get the f**k out of my way! Called a "Chinese field trip" by Dan Savage, I think.

9. Litterers. There's a trash bin on every corner and several on the subway platforms. Must you dirty my city by tossing your refuse anywhere else?

10. The morons who make a new DVD harder to open than a box of bullets. We've got strange priorities in this country, don't we. Do we need all those sticky plastic strips on the latest Boogie Nights release? It's terribly wasteful, too.

People who have sex in front of me without asking me to join them. Oh, and the cell phone in traffic thing too.

I got somebody good with this one. I kept my knees in the back of the seat until the person fell asleep, then pulled them out. The rude awakening spasm was nice to see. Then I used your plan and pushed them in and out for the rest of the flight. And, of course, there are those people who don't even put up their seat for the meal, they just lean forward over their tray. But I guess since they don't feed you anymore, this is not an issue.

I have seen lot of this too. Including using a curling iron...with both hands of course.

I have seen a few men guilty of this as well, using a shaver, including tipping their head back so they can get the neck too. I don't think those eyes are on the road.

While sitting in my seat for the plane leave the gate, a cell phone rang 3 times before the passenger sitting next to me realized that it was his cell phone.
:mad:

[ December 24, 2003, 01:21 AM: Message edited by: gmjambear ]

I'm not feeling overly bitter today, even though I'm at work, BUT

1. People who stand on the left side of the escalator. Don't you know that's the walking side?

2. People who think rules aren't for them. "Oh, I know it says you can't do this, but I can, and it's okay."

3. People who can't count and have like 20-25 items in a 15 item checkout lane.

I'm stopping there. wink

Trevor

In the spirit of the holidays, I'll whittle my list down a bit.

We'll start with the taxi driver, parked about 25 feet under my window today at 4 A.M., who BLEW HIS HORN 3 TIMES in 3 minutes to alert an alleged fare. In a residential neighborhood. After I opened the window and politely screamed at him to put the horn in a convenient orifice, he drove off within a minute. One more honk and I would've been on the street in my undies with a baseball bat...

The fans who wave at the camera (on their phones) at ballgames. Fans who do The Wave, or interfere with my spectating.

Parents who indulge their little brats' awful behavior in public situations.

Self-absorbed nitwits who stand in front of doorways, staircases or subway turnstiles while using their mobile phone (or fishing for their MetroCard). My elbows come out at that point.

Let's just make it 95% of mobile phone users.

(And Trevor, if you have to walk on escalators, you need to slow your life down.)

[ December 24, 2003, 07:13 AM: Message edited by: Bill W ]

So, in places such as England, do you keep to the left instead?

I dj in a country bar on weekends and it pisses me off to no end when some drunk SOB cuts across the crowded dance floor, as if they own the place.

Once more, when the person cuts across the floor, with drink in hand and the attitude like they are allowed because they once held some lame title drag title for the bar.

grrrr :mad:

People who don't read the whole thread, and post repetitions of what's already been said.

And in England, as elsewhere in Europe the rule for moving walkways and escalators is "stand on the right, walk on the left." And people actually follow the rule. Europe may be a moral cesspool, but on matters of basic courtesy, they still beat the hell out of our obtuse fellow citizens.

1. kRazY PeepS WHo wRiTe liK3 tHiS

2. people who can't tell the difference between "there" and "their" and "they're", "your" and "you're" and a dozen other homonyms

3. people who say "people that..." rather than "people who..." You should only use "that" when talking about a thing. (I can be a stickler for those few grammar lessons I know )

4. older guys who dress in A&F - sorry, but every guy should have retired every piece of A&F clothing by the time he hits 26

5. COMB-OVERS: who do you think you're fooling?

6. people who say things like "a whole nother country" (not to pick on Texans) - "other" will suffice

7. it's "ask" not "aks" - *BANG*

8. "nucular" - *BANG* (not picking on any one head of state here... an old roomie of mine said it all the time)

9. people who are still buying mega-huge SUVs (not only can I not see around you on the highway, not only will you kill me in a fender bender, but your selfishness, gluttony, and need to feel superior to all others on the road is the sole reason we are so dependent on foreign oil... you do not need an Escalade to shuttle little Skyler and Madison to soccer practice)

10. "supposably" - *BANG*

I could go on...

[ December 24, 2003, 08:46 AM: Message edited by: aquaman ]

People who talk on their cellphones at the movies and then want to start a fight when you ask them to take it outside or shut up.

Parents who murder their children (yes, I'm pro-death penalty).

People who buy a dog and then, once baby comes along, leave dog chained up outside all the time.

Men/women who have unsafe sex without telling their partners that they are HIV+.

Anyone who murders someone I love.

I have to think of a few more.....

Ummmm... Excuse me, but when did 26 turn into Older?

And besides, except the rich kids, some of us have to wait until we're 26 to be able to afford to wear A&F. I think the cap should be placed somewhere higher than the 20's, I mean come on.

Now when I see fat old ladies in Tube Tops, now that IS bad. wink

Well, hey, I still wear the only A&F shirt I ever bought. It doesn't say it on there either. It's just a flannel shirt, 10% wool 90% cotton. IT's super comfy and warm. I love it. So it's not going away!

And no, I don't need to slow down. Can I add:

4. People who don't know me who tell me what I need. <G>

Trevor

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

~Don't be a A&F Hater!

Old fat men in Speedos/thongs. Uhh, I may not have sex all weekend after imagining that......... wink

I don't even know exactly what they're called, but cars that have that remote-control locking system that goes woop-woop real loud. At least it sounds real loud in the quiet residential neighborhood where my snotty, lazy-ass upstairs neighbor insists on using his at any time of the day or night. (Hey, I was almost asleep. Good thing I'm awake now so I can fine-tune my loathing...)

Listen up, pantload -- stick the key in the damn lock and turn it. I can see you from my window and neither your arms or even your hands are ever full. Those remotes do serve a purpose in a huge mall parking lot where they can act as a locating device. Otherwise? Burn off a calorie or two and do it manually.

And another thing -- Upstairs Neighbors In General and Mine Specifically. Snotty, inconsiderate, massive sense of entitlement, does f**k-all around the building, walks around above me on his heels like a rhino on speed, bellows into his cellphone (while pacing like a rhino on speed). I swear the man has dropsy -- maybe he can't hold on to anything because his hands are coated in lube from f**king his boyfriend. Oh, yeah, I really love listening to that right over my head at night. No, it's not hot. It's annoying. And even worse? The giggling and snickering afterward. Guys? I'm happy you have each other. Really. But shut it. Twice.

Hey Trevor,

That shirt will look good on my bedroom floor.......I just had to go there. (hey, I'm stuck at work and it's like a cemetary here) wink

Then shouldn't that be "whom"? After all, it's being used in the objective sense as the recipient of the predicate (or something like that ).

[ December 24, 2003, 10:24 AM: Message edited by: MIB ]