Nope, my attitude is "Drugs, not hugs".

* People who cook fish in the office microwave. Shooting 'em is too merciful for those inconsiderate cunts. At a minimum, drawing-and-quartering them before leaving their body outside so that wild animals pick it clean should be mandatory.

Jim Allen - YES YES YES! I totally agree! There is one person here who nukes fish DAILY! :mad: She must be destroyed!

It's taken me a couple of days, but I've laughed and laughed at all the pet peeves listed on this thread. I think it was a great idea to start it up ... obviously, Outsporters have a lot on their minds.

But I kept saying to myself, "hmmmm, something's missing. But what? What could it be?" And then it hit me.

Here, boys. A little cheese to go with your whine.

BPT, I feel your pain. In a contest between someone buring their popcorn to a charcol briquette and fish in the 'wave, I'll take the charred popcorn every time. Cooking fish makes the office reek. At one of my recent jobs, there were a bunch of signs around the microwave banning it.

Gaby, that had better not be French cheese there. We're not cheese-eating surrender monkeys here.

Umm, I shower regularly, but I happen to be one of those folks who cannot wear deodorants, anti-perspirants, cologne, etc. Unfortunately, I have an allergic reaction to all of those. Enough so that I had to ake medication to correct it. It is something that seems to affect all my siblings as well.

I get away with using baby powder without any reaction, so that's what I do. Don't shoot me because of screwed up genetics. wink

I've got 2 more!

The people who make these infomercials for exercise equipment, then have all these buff bodybuilders and skinny chicks on there, saying all you need to look like this is 20 minutes a day, 3 times a week, or do your abs on this machine for 3 minutes a day and you will have abs like this! While I'm no fool, many people buy into this false advertising and don't look carefully at the fineprint in the commercial where it says, "Results not typical." Please...you need at least an hour evry day for 6 days if you're not already there!

ALSO...When I call somewhere and get a stupid recording! What the f...? Even when you dial 9-1-1 you get a recording first-this is so ridiculous and just another way of businesses taking the customer care away! And, then you push all these buttons, there either isn't a selection for what you need or you punch in your account number or SS# and the frickin' operator comes on and asks "Can I have your account number please?" What the f..did I spend all that time punching it in for and then waiting? Also...when they put you on hold for like 15 minutes, then the idiot comes back on and disconnects you-I honestly wonder whether they do this on purpose just to piss people off! I've started getting their names up front now!

I have a few that I haven't read yet, but may have been mentioned.

* People who smoke and light up in front of me without asking if I mind.

* Older guys who think I have attitude because I'm not into them.

* Guys who grab my ass without even buying me a drink first!! (unless they're cute!!)

Earlier in this thread, I mentioned that those people who prove there is such a thing as a studid question need die & here is yet another example:

I share my cubicle with a lovely lady named Danielle who has left for the day. A colleague just stopped by, looked at her empty area and asked "Is Danielle away from her desk?" I responded with a smirk and "Isn't that self-evident?" He looked confused. Now, I must go and shove him down an open elevator shaft. wink

~Adam

People, who go, "Ummmmmm, yum, ummmm, this is good, ummmmm, mmmmm, arrrrr, mmmm, yum, oooh, arrrrr, mmmm" then keep talking with food in their mouth at the same time, then you have to time it just right to get a tortilla chip out of the bowl because they are grabbing at them at such a rapid speed you would think their life was dependant on how quick they were able to get that next chip in their mouth.

ESPN's Chris Berman, or at least his tired schtick. Yeah, shoot the schtick.

A-frickin'-men!

Line up Dick Vitale right next to him. I will take that shot.

That last post of yours is hilarious, ~Adam! Yes, your co-worker (may he R.I.P.) definitely deserved to die such a horrible, tragic death. As a (belated) birthday present , I'll shoot anyone who comes within an inch of Alex Frolov for you.

Oh, and I'd also like to empty a full magazine on Don Cherry. :mad:

Clerks and cashiers who total up your purchases and, whether it's a Power bar for $2.80 or three Hugo Boss suits for $2,800, ask "will that be all today?" I wanted to stab the cashier at Barney's with his Mont Blanc pen when he asked me that question today. I thought to myself I can't even buy shoelaces for the rest of the month and he's asking me if that's ALL? :mad: eek! :mad: eek!

Banks who put deposited checks on hold because they're from a credit card company or an out-of-state bank. They could easily pick up the phone and verify the validity of the check, but NOOOOOO, 14-21 day hold, which they earn interest on and yours truly has no access to! :mad:

Thanks, Seph--you take care of anyone who comes near Alex Frolov and I'll take care of Don Cherry for you.

~Adam

Are you really Patrick Bateman?

Damn, you pay $2.80 for a Power Bar??
I get 'em for .84 at Target!

"Banks who put deposited checks on hold because they're from a credit card company or an out-of-state bank. They could easily pick up the phone and verify the validity of the check, but NOOOOOO, 14-21 day hold, which they earn interest on and yours truly has no access to!"

BillSF:

That's strange. My bank in Chicago accepts all checks from all states, and lets me use the funds immediately. I use a small minority-owned bank in Chicago, so it is not a multi-state mega-financial corporation! I edit a newsletter with 300 subscribers in 20 states, so I get renewal checks from all over the country. I have had the checking account with that bank for nine years, so maybe that's the reason.

Mikestead

"Clerks and cashiers who total up your purchases and, whether it's a Power bar for $2.80 or three Hugo Boss suits for $2,800, ask "will that be all today?" I wanted to stab the cashier at Barney's with his Mont Blanc pen when he asked me that question today. I thought to myself I can't even buy shoelaces for the rest of the month and he's asking me if that's ALL?"


Munson Man:

Should we shoot the cashiers for following company policy? It is possible that the store requires all cashiers to ask the question for every sale. Munson Man, you may be an intelligent customer - but that does not mean that all customers are as smart as you are! Retail clerks will tell us stories about dumb and disorganized customers in the check out lane! Probably that's why they ask "is that all?" to move the dumb customers out as quickly!

Mikestead

People who send e-mails like this...It was sent to my Yahoo e-mail, which gets nothing but spam usually. I clean it out now and then. As soon as I saw the word "Veerification" I knew I had to read it...
As if I'd be stupid enough to fall for this, even if I had a Citibank card, even if the grammar and spelling had been perfect.

JIP, not only should the people who try this be shot, I also think the people who WILL fall for this should be, too, and you KNOW they're out there...

[ January 13, 2004, 02:28 AM: Message edited by: AtlantaSpartan ]

I agree about smokers. A lot of them are self-centered ass****s. When I am waiting for the bus, it never fails that one of these jerks always stands upwind of me, then, they stand there like it doesn't bother anyone. What really pisses me off is on those days when the winds are variable and no matter where I move, the damn smoke follows me. AAAUUUGGGHHH! This REALLY makes me want to go Eric-&-Dylan on their sorry asses.

Telephone solicitors that call your home and want you to purchse something from them really jerk my chain. I realize that they are just doing their job but to call a private residents during the weekend or in the evening pisses me off.

Jorel,

No need to shoot the telemarketers anymore (although they were on my list for years).

Just go the link below and put your number on the national do-not-call list. Your state may have a separate do-not-call list for added protection.

National Do Not Call List

In my experience, it works quite well.

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Pussy.

Meeeee-yow.

Go put something like that on the politics board and I'll give you a can of whoop ass! wink

Well, we know you're not a fighter.

Thanks, Skiguy, I'll give it a try.

The nurse who helped save the life of the man who lost two legs in the Staten Island Ferry disaster. Boy, people will go to such extremes to become millionaires so they don't have to go to work! She's suing the city for $5 million for emotional distress! Now take into account she is a nurse. Isn't she used to dealing with lots of blood, death, etc.?

She's obviously trying to cash in on all the publicity the man who lost his legs has gotten. And of course the story has gotten so much publicity.

But think about this. The captain of the ferry is saying his blacking out is what lead to the accident. And what if he suffered a heart attack? Why is the city responsible for fateful occurences like a man having a heart attack or blacking out?

This woman, who obviously doesn't want to work anymore, should be shot!

The next thing you know, the captain of the ferry will say his suicide attempt was brought on by the accident which happened only because the city built the docks too close to water! AAAUUUGGGHHH! These frivilous lawsuits drive me crazy!

Pass the gun... anyone who clips fingernails or toenails in public (yes, I once saw a woman on the subway bend over and start snipping away at her toenails). Ick. *bang*

Here's one: I was at the gym last night, and there were two other guys in my little quadrant of the locker room while I was trying to change my clothes. Two guys with their crap spread out all over the entire bench and having a big oblivious yak fest about how women always want a commitment. Hey, guys! Other people would like to use the bench too! Get your bags and shoes and towels and sweaty-ass clothes and CD Walkmen together!! I'm not saying they shouldn't use the bench at all -- just not allof it. It's our gym, not yours.

Sheesh... Where's my gun?