twin58
Apr 12 2005, 03:27 PM
The Man Date QUOTE
Although \"man date\" is a coinage invented for this article, appearing nowhere in the literature of male bonding (or of homosexual panic), the 30 to 40 straight men interviewed, from their 20's to their 50's, living in cities across the country, instantly recognized the peculiar ritual even if they had not consciously examined its dos and don'ts. Depending on the activity and on the two men involved, an undercurrent of homoeroticism that may be present determines what feels comfortable or not on a man date, as Mr. Speiser and Mr. Putman discovered in their squeamishness at the Modern.
....
\"A lot of quality time is lost as we fritter around with minor stuff like the Final Four scores,\" said Mr. O'Donnell, who was on the verge of divorce in the mid-1980's before a series of conversations over meals and walks with a friend 20 years his senior changed his thinking. \"He was instrumental in turning me around in the vulnerability that he showed,\" said Mr. O'Donnell, who wrote about the friendship in a book, \"Walking With Arthur.\" \"I can remember times when he wanted to know why I was going to leave my wife. No guy had ever done that before.\"
....
copman
Apr 12 2005, 09:50 PM
I read the whole article- very interesting & pretty much true, I thought. Especially the part about straight guys leaving a seat between them when they go to a movie...HOW HOMOPHOBIC! You're seeing Arnold or Bruce Willis action movie - no no one is gonna think you are gay...plus who gives a SHIT! You can't talk with a seat between ya. :mad:
millerbeach
Apr 12 2005, 09:57 PM
This shows how silly and homophobic our society really is. I mean really, do you have sex with all of your gay friends? If two guys can't sit next to each other out of fear of being thought of as gay, it doesn't speak too well of their confidence in their sexual identity. Would a straight guy not go out socially with an overweight woman out of fear society may think he is boning her? Does every straight man automatically get laid just because he is with a woman? Man, it is articles like this that make me glad I am gay. I don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks about me. So much of society's taboos are eliminated when you just don't care what other people think.
dwb56
Apr 13 2005, 09:21 AM
Thanks, millerbeach, I thought that was one of the dumbest articles I'd ever read, especially for The New York Times (even if it was in the Sunday Styles section, it's still the Times, so I expect better; I guess I should get over that).
Seriously, who cares what people think? Are you ever going to see any of the people at the museum, restaurant or theater again? No. Jaysis... Go to Home Depot, buy a big ladder and get over yourself.
bear321
Apr 13 2005, 11:27 AM
Maybe it does mean that a lot of straight men do have a lack of confidence in their sexual identities. If they didn't why would the "man date" even matter to them. People are so hung up on what they think others think of them. In most cases no one really gives a sh*t.
I really believe it is all in the mind of the straight guy. He is so paranoid that someone is going to "think" he is gay or better yet think that another gay guy wants him. Oh Pleeeeezzzze!!!
Let me have my own little fantasies about deflowering a straight guy. But they are just that... "fantasies". This so reminds me of a button I saw recently.
"Does this dick in my mouth make me look gay?" I laughed so hard I almost needed a fresh Depends.
MPetrelis
Apr 13 2005, 04:16 PM
>You can't talk with a seat between ya.<
That's more than okay to me. People, be they gay or straight or otherwise, who want to talk during a movie should stay out of the theaters and rent movies to watch at home. You can talk all you want in front of your TV screen, without bothering other movie-goers in a theater.
swiminbuff
Apr 13 2005, 05:26 PM
QUOTE
dwb56:
Go to Home Depot, buy a big ladder and get over yourself.
You mean Homo Depot???....Oh no!! What would people think!!
phillyrunner
Apr 13 2005, 07:20 PM
The article is dumb. The last place 2 straight men spending time together should feel uncomfotable is at a Museum in NYC. I have been out for lunch with different straight men (one on one) from the office, and none of them give it a second thought. I think the article is trying to make a story out of nothing. Whatever happened to the growing Metrosexual population?
millerbeach
Apr 13 2005, 11:59 PM
OMG! I nearly fell off my chair with the two good lines I saw in this thread...the Home Depot comment about buying the ladder and the "Does this dick in my mouth make me look Gay" button. Good ones guys...keep 'em coming!
jqueer
Apr 14 2005, 05:38 AM
Perhaps the boundaries on my personal space are farther out than most, but I always leave a seat between me and the next person in a movie theater. I'm uncomfortable sitting that close to another person, even a friend. Dates, well, hopefully I'm comfortable with that person being within my space.
KeyWest Guy
Apr 14 2005, 06:23 AM
QUOTE
jqueer:
Dates, well, hopefully I'm comfortable with that person being within my space.
Well, I hope if you're letting them in your "space", that you're comfortable with them. And at a movie theater no less!
wink
copman
Apr 14 2005, 01:47 PM
QUOTE
MPetrelis:
>You can't talk with a seat between ya.<
That's more than okay to me. People, be they gay or straight or otherwise, who want to talk during a movie should stay out of the theaters and rent movies to watch at home. You can talk all you want in front of your TV screen, without bothering other movie-goers in a theater.
I don't talk DURING the movie
- but I like to get places early so I usually have 10-15 minutes seated before the movie starts.
If my friend is a seat away I have to talk LOUDLY which is pretty rude. :mad: IMHO.
bobby78751
Apr 14 2005, 02:04 PM
QUOTE
gadbearr:
\"Does this dick in my mouth make me look gay?\"
This reminds me of Rob Nash's routine. He's one of my favorite stand-up comedians here in Austin. He says he enjoys answering personal ads where the guy classifies himself as "straight-acting". Then when the guy is going down on him, he blurts out, "Aw, yeah, you don't look so straight-acting now with my schlong in your mouth."
He's so funny!
Thom
Apr 14 2005, 07:34 PM
I think this article is about a certain type of straight guy but most definitely not all. I have had countless man dates with straight guys, most who knew I was gay. My sister is married to one of them. In fact he sought me out and called me up to get a date, though I knew all along he really wanted a date with my sister. Then again, most of my straight friends, including the above brother-in-law, are European or well-traveled Americans. Still I'd like them all to read this, they'd probably laugh at how ridiculous the guys in the article sound.
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