I remembered this thread, even though I didn''t post on it at the time. My thoughts on this for many years have been that anything beyond 10 years difference wasn't really feasible. Different generation, different frames of reference, issues with aging, difference in lifestyle (partying vs. staying at home, for example). I even thought 5 years might be pushing it. My ex is 5 years younger than me, and we kept running into differences. I've told all of my friends this, and have been very adamant about it. I've even gone on to say that at least 90% of these relationships are of the "sugar daddy" nature and not true love.
So, you know where this is going, right?
You never know what life is going to throw at you. I have to admit that at times over the last few years I had begun to wonder if another relationship was in the cards for me. Part of that was my fault, I realize. I needed to get some things in order, and start being proactive instead of just hoping it would happen. I had been working on changing some things over the past year or so, and was getting my sh!t together. But I hadn't yet gone out there looking to find someone, and wasn't even dating.
So what happens? I just turned (cough)44(cough), and a little over 6 months ago this 25 year old comes into my life. I will leave out the details, but suffice it to say our relationship has grown very serious in a short amount of time. In fact, I honestly have to say that I have never loved anyone as much as him. I never thought I would have much in common with someone his age. What would we talk about? And yet... here I am. I'm going to drag out the old "he's mature for his age" because it's true. Though he has his moments when he acts 25.
But oddly enough, the one thing we do the most is talk. About anything and everything. Who knew?
We have different backgrounds, different life experiences, some very different interests.. and yet there is something between us that just works. In many ways we complement each other. There's a connection, a chemistry.. I don't know how else to describe it. Our core values are the same, and we both want the same thing when it comes to a relationship.
And the age difference doesn't seem to matter. If anything, it's become something we joke about. Our attitude is, some people are going to have an issue with it, but we know each other, we know our relationship, and that's all that really matters. I know what people are going to think. I was one of them. Oddly enough, if everything that's in the works lines up, he may be supporting me shortly. And living much better than I am now.
I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. We love each other, and we are committed to pursuing this to see if it will work. We have some potentially large challenges ahead if certain things come into being. We both are taking a chance, but we are putting our faith in each other. Even if ultimately it doesn't work, at least I will know that we gave it a try, and I won't look back 5 or 10 years from now and wonder what if.
A few months into this, something occurred to me. This is the man that I always wanted to date, going back to when I was in high school. The guy who was either straight, or didn't even give me a second look (or a first for that matter). The guy I used to dream about being in a relationship with. Except I saw someone my own age. It had been so long since I gave up that dream, that I had forgotten about it and moved on to other dreams. And then all of a sudden, after all of these years... there he is. I never thought someone like him would be interested in me. In fact, at first I really didn't think he was interested... he had to convince me. I guess you never know.
Sorry for the long post... trust, there's enough here for numerous posts.
But to those who think it can't happen, or that you're getting too old... life is full of surprises, you just need to be open to them, and be willing to go out on a limb and take a chance now and then.
