I guess I couldn't believe that you didn't notice the difference between a 63 & a 28 yr old. I was so shocked by the age difference ( my grandpa was about 69 when I was 28.---BUT I didn't say it very nicely - SORRY. -- Can you explain your common interests and your lives? :confused:

[ February 21, 2003, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: copman ]

Until I was in my late 50's I believed that the gay iron rule was no femmes, no fats, no old trolls, and had kissed sex and love goodbye. Then the internet came along, and I was astonished to discover that there were LOTS of guys who liked my type!! In fact, I learned that I had to be very careful as many of those 18 yo guys were really 12!! I couldn't believe it!! Suddenly, I could have 3-4 guys a day if I wanted to [over 18, I hasten to add! Although many countries are ok with 14+, I also discovered - who knew!]

I have had more love and sex since I woke up at 58 than I had for the previous 58 years. It was just wonderful, and I have some deep LDRs which warm my aging body, plus a lover, plus as much or more fun on the side as I want. In other words, a normal life!!

Well good to hear that then! - I'm happy for you !

Hey, what's your secret? I'm 36, and still don't have a normal sex life!

BTW (Ung will be happy to hear this): I have been knowing an Arab man who owns a liquor store in downtown Detroit, close to one of my clients. I think he just likes my company (read: he's not really interested in searing hot, passionate, mind-blowing sex), and interestingly, he'll flirt with me a little bit at the store if he can get me to stay a few minutes longer on my visits.

Anyway, he is 50-ish and would make one think of an Arab Sean Connery. The KICK: he has a body (I didn't find this out until recently because he is always behind the counter and wears very loose-fitting, dark clothes) that makes me drop to my knees! I mean: muscular, trim, and a huge, muscular (Just like I crave.) butt. He's practically got the body of a 25-year old that works out!

He's friendly, but common sense tells me that, at his age, owning a store and being established...he is probably well-married and set in a number of ways that would not suit me.

Anyway, I thought: if a few things were different, I would invite him to a hotel ANY wekkend for non-stop sex.

eek! He is quite eek! something.

[ February 22, 2003, 09:21 AM: Message edited by: bluebird48234 ]

I think that the internet is the answer to anyone's isolation - no matter how tightly defined your requirements are, there are 100's of guys who fit them, and, more importantly, like your type. You can iterate through possibles quickly, wasting no time on hopeless cases. [Although guys lie and dissumulate, that is actually pointless and self-defeating.] I find that chat is the best medium [gay.com preferred], but personals do work also. But you have to be patient - some times you catch fish, sometimes you don't - lol!

As for older Arab men - like younger Arab men - they can be wonderful! I have a younger dentist friend from the Kingdom who fits me perfectly and came 6 times on our first date. I have no idea if your acquaintance is as ardent, but you lose nothing by making an approach. I loosed my Arab friend on a group of visiting MCC older guys, and they were extremely pleased - as was he!!

Hey, these are great ideas - thanks, LACharlie2! Gives me lots to think about.

- - - - -

How do you communicate your "type" to people?

Is that only with a picture? I know photos are worth a 1,000 words, and I need to get some photos that I am happy with. (BTW, any photo ideas?)

I think I've wordy intros, but they have not been that successful (although I did meet a few excellent friends this way).

Wordy replies tend to signify desperation - remember, these are skittish fish you are going after - lol!

Yes - have a nice picture taken - remember, any pic will be on the internet for eternity! Make sure it's .jpg format. Put the same pic on a yahoo profile and use it for personals and as a URL link in the description you use in chat. You can also attach it to your responses to other guys' ads. I don't have nude or sexual pics, especially pics with my face showing - others go ahead with explicit pics - it's a personal choice.

I would put a Yahoo profile together - then a Yahoo personal - after checking out other profiles and personals. I would check out Yahoo groups for guys who like your type, and optimally whose type you like, but there are a wide variety of groups, always changing, so this will be a process of trial-and-error. Then I would do a gay.com personal, after checking out their personals, and then try out gay.com chat. There are groups by city and region, and by interest. I swear by the interest groups - especially "Mature", but also "Bears", and occasionally others.

You can be in a number of chatrooms at once - so stick yourself in a local area room or two, plus any interests you think are interesting. You may have to try many times to enter popular rooms, of course. I check out all the profiles which might be interesting, and start picking guys to do private chat with. You will also get "privated" yourself. 2 or 3 private chats are my limit at one time. I don't like cybersex or phonesex, so I avoid those guys, and politely tell those who private me that I'm into real/time [r/t].

Sometimes you will be very busy, sometimes not - don't worry about it. Try to exchange pics early on, ditto email addresses, so you don't lose contact via a computer glitch. Move beyond that to phone contact, and then meet.

The magic of the internet is quick iteration through lots of possibilities - learning not to waste time on hopeless cases. Turn away quickly from anyone who doesn't like your type [whatever that is] - be very disciplined about that!! It wastes time, and you want to be having naked fun with somebody you like and who likes you - as soon as possible!! lol!!

Bless you! I have copied your suggestions to a personal file.

Even offline, LACharlie2, this is something I'm still practicing.

When a guy is HOT, and flirts with you, it's hard to say NO, NO, and I mean NO.

I've GOT to follow your suggestions, LACharlie2; because I need to get rid of all these guys who see a guy like me, intuit that they might be able to get a couple of BJs out of me, and then turn the screws on me.

Sometimes the attention from them is too much to take (lately, they have been invariably masc, horny, proportionate, and sexy). But saying no to them is saying YES to myself.

I feel if they can't ASK ME OUT, then somehow they already know the answer is no (for whatever reason; e.g., I care about myself too much to bottom for you while you're calling your girlfriend and chattin' up your "peeps"/buddies or you're married, or you're a str8 guy looking for a release...).

Maybe they're always testing homosexual guys to make sure they still have it, and what they're sexual currency is.

I don't know.

It's excruciating; but I KNOW if I do what you say, I can be on my way to having naked, physically pleasurable fun with guys (and a few ladies! [I'm bi]) who are in it for sharing a great time, and few conversations afterwards.

Friends only, from now on!

[ February 26, 2003, 10:43 AM: Message edited by: bluebird48234 ]

I love dating older guys. Here in Minneapolis, it's hard to meet guy my age that are out. So, I prefer dating guys a little older than me. The guy I'm seeing now is 38. (I'm 26.) It doesn't bother me, but it does bother a few people that know me.

It's their issue.

I have to comment on this.

My partner is 11 years older than me. When we met, I was 25, and he was 36. I am now 48, (you do the math). From almost the time I came out, I preferred the company of older men.
I had friends my own age, and we would go out to movies, bars, dance clubs (at that time they were called Disco's), but if I wanted to connect, both mentally and sexually, I always found that older men were so much better.
I do remember right after I moved to Toronto however, I met a man from New Jersey, who was up visiting family. I had lived in a small town in Alberta for 4 years, and was like a kid in a candy store.
And yes, we met at the baths. This was pre-aids, so there was no such thing as safe sex. Of all the encounters in the baths that I had, that one is the only one I remember. He was mid 40's, italian, receding hairline, and hairy as hell all over. I won't give all the details, except that we had to renew the room after the first 8 hours was up. And I was very sore for about a week afterwards.

I still like men that age, although I find that I will look at a guy in his 30's if he is mature looking.

My problem, is that there seems to be a cut-off of about 45 yrs old. No one likes 48 year old red-heads I guess.

THe gay community can be very fickle, and that will probably never change. The best revenge?

Those that consider the over 45 age crowd too old, will be here soon enough!

Well, I've always been interested in burly, masculine men (and usually older to much older). As a kid, I was totally into my baseball coaches, teachers, and friends' fathers. I had and have a good relationship with my father. That has never really changed though as I've gotten older, the distance between my age and those I find attractive has narrowed. As a kid, I left several startled men in my wake when they realized a baely pubescent boy was making a pass at them.

Anyway, one bf was only four years older than I. My current is 24 years older.

I'm 35 and he's 59. We relate well. We like some of the same broad topics, politics, sports, music, caring for our place, travel. The biggest problem is energy level/ physical fitness and money. He makes more and that can lead to some power issues. Sex definitely is not a problem. We have sex 3-5 times a week.

Chikev

Resurrecting an old thread here.

I have always dated younger guys with the widest age gap for a serious relationship about 10 years. I'm now dating someone who is significantly younger; more than a 20 year gap. Age is a non-issue for us as he is mature beyond his age and I'm probably a bit immmature for my age (shocking admission).

Although I never paid particular attention before, I am noticing that there seem to be many more relationships like ours in the gay community. Just my imagination?

PF, you wanna take this one? Perfect set up for a home run.

Well, I posted my viewpoint two and a half years ago, so there's no need to repeat myself, but I just want to say it is such a pleasure when someone resurrects a thread that Bluebird had posted on, as he did here. Years later, I still shake my head and go "huh?"

M&M that should bring up the question...

MDPHL=Bluebird?
eek! eek! eek! eek! eek! eek!

I KNEW IT!

Considering the way mdphl throws a football..... yeah, it's possible.

MM - I noticed that the Bluebird connection also but decided to ignore it

Re: whatever Stinger and PF may be referring to (I have noooo idea what that could be) -- I said "serious" relationship. And isn't discretion the better part of valor?

Did you see him? I thought you were too busy "checking" out Philly?????

As I recall BPT had a full social calendar that weekend. The City still hasn't recovered wink

That explains why BPT was unable to run around and throw the football with us!

Anyway BPT, MD is the shutdown cover guy. He's tough, plays D. He's not a sissy WR.

Why are there so many
References ‘bout Bluebird
When he’s gone to the other side
Bluebird had visions
Mostly illusions
And probably bodies to hide
So we've been told and some choose to
Believe it
I know they're waiting to see

Someday we'll find it
The Bluebird Connection
And off to the nuthouse we’ll be!




(And leave my social calendar out of this! )

Yes we should leave BPT antics out of this, it has no point...

Anyway, he's done with philly and currently trying out baltimore.

Beware DC, BPT is a year away....

Sorry PF sweetie, I'm in Vegas again this weekend. Are you coming up to rejoin me in our Honeymoon Suite at the Excalibur?

Don't hold your breath BPT- ASU is back in session and there is now way PF is leaving when fresh meat and chicken are in town.

Oh, Bluey's posts were classic. I swear the guy was on meds when he posted, but I miss all those inane posts.

My 3 favorite quotes from this thread are.

#3 When talking about Asian men and May - December romances:

#2 And I think he was addressing Ung on this one:

and my favorite Bluebird quote:

Classic! Can you imagine this personal file? I would pay good money to read what's in this file.

And I can't believe I never responded to this thread. There's not much of an age difference (4 years) between my partner and myself.

BTW, nice lyrics, BPT! Bravo.

I can't believe that mdphl found a thread that I've never posted to before! wink Love the Bluebird Connection song, BPT, although now the voice of Kermit is stuck in my head. eek! But skip Baltimore. I read that the one bar there that had the naked boys dancing on the bar (a place I visited a few times during the summer of 2002) is now closed. And you'll have to get to DC before their naked dancing boy bars are torn down to make way for the new Nationals ballpark.

Anyway, to actually get on topic, I can report that my one-and-only ex-boyfriend is 10 years older than me. At first it seemed like no difference at all, but during the latter years when we were romantically involved I got the feeling that there was a growing difference in how we related to things. For example, he really lost interest in current popular music, pop culture and such. I don't know how much of this related to the increased amount of time he spent doing religious stuff but I felt this difference even before his return to the church.

Oh MD MD MD MD MD…. Trying to provoke a response so you can spread your peacock wings in praise of searching the ASU campus for “fresh”man meat.

I’m not ready to bite on that one yet… but I do have a question on the current High School, I mean “Younger” person…. Call center or Casino?

I’d help you out and play matchmaker with a certain OS poster… but..

1. You’re not quite old enough yet
2. You don’t like talking on the phone a lot
3. I don’t have a platinum card from you yet.
4. Your hair isn’t grey
5. I don’t have a platinum card from you yet
6. You actually have good taste in sporting teams
7. I don’t have a platinum card from you yet.
8. I’d hate to see them cry when you hold them catchless again in football.

Uh oh...sounds like sting sting is between boyfriends again...

No but if i can get a platinum card out of it, he can juggle 2.

No offense to the hunk that is MDPHL, but I already have too many OS boyfriends with Raze and AU Tiger. Not to mention the occasional fling with Joe in Philly.

Although, I'm open to anything...as long as PF gets a platinum card out of it!!

I am not sure either way.

At one time it was considered appropriate for a young woman to marry an 'older' man because he was established in his trade and had a chance to setup a household and provide for a family better. Since women tended to die young - many from childbirth or its complications; many older/younger pairings resulted.

My great grandfather married, had two kids, his wife died, and he asked her younger sister to keep house and take care of the children. Within a short time they married, had 3 kids, she died.
He hired a distant cousin to come and keep house and take care of his young kids, they soon married, and had a child, she died shortly after.
He kept doing this through his 70's when he married his last wife, a 18 year old woman who had come to manage his house and take care of the kids. He had managed to have 29 children. many of the older children did not even know the younger ones, and vice versa. Big Farming Family.

At one time in gay history it was not uncommon for an older gay male to take a younger one under his wing and introduce him to what was really more or less a secret society; thus providing the younger person with breathing space to establish themself since most of his ties with his former life would have been strained or cut dut to societies severe predjudices. Very frequently these were caring, loving relationships that lasted a lifetime. Frequently - at least in the upper classes - the older person would 'adopt' the younger; thereby assuring many legal and inheritance rights.

I know of at least one gay couple today where this is the case. The older man is in his late 60's/early 70's; the younger in his early 30's. The older man literally picked the younger up off the street, liked him, paid his way through finishing HS, then College and Med School. I believe the oldr man introduced the younger to many of the fine and performing arts. They live in Manhattan and travel the world. While the older gentleman is VERY wealthy, the younger one has been a doctor for several years now with more than a few chances to do whatever he wants. They are both good looking. I have heard the older gentleman refer to the younger as 'his protoge'. I have heard the Dr introduce his older partner in words that would make a bath house attendant blush. I know for a fact that the older one adopted the younger partner many years ago. They have been together 16??? years. They seem happily devoted to each other as far as I have seen.

I think that maybe may/december pairing like the above are becoming more rare; except that I frequently see men and women in upper class clubs where it is not uncommon to see them accompanied by a 'trophy'.

Personally I prefer a more equal 'sharing of power???' in my relationships. I prefer an equal who will depend and count on me as much as I depend and count on him. I have never been in a relationship with more than a 10 year age difference, I think I prefer less differential.

R

Even though he's 21 years younger, he is an M.D. and we all know that physicians make more than attorneys but...just in case it doesn't work out -- where should I send the card?

one of my best friends is dating an older man. its 20 and 44. the older guy was actually born 5 days after the younger ones mom. they are o in love its crazy. its really cool seeing guys in love as they are.

say u were in love with someone, buuut there was 20 years difference in age. if it's love, then why not. it's life, give it a shot. there are already too many rules everywhere else. LIVE IT!

Good news everyone! looks like we are going to the the Birds-pokes game after all...

I'm paying... sorta.

Heh heh...you better not leave that lying around the house. It's likely to go missing...

13 years difference between my partner and I, and we've been together for 13 years. I honestly don't notice any age difference, because we both seem to have a young spirit. I was one of the youngest kids in my family, so I was always used to hanging around people older than myself. I just never seemed to have much in common with people my own age.

There is some age difference between my imaginary partner and myself. However, my real partner is the same age I am and seems like an extenson of my arm eek!

Hee-hee! I know just how you feel,Erik! Your arm is a lucky,man,however! wink wink

Seriously, it seems like I only get younger guys trying to pick me up. Once they find out I am older they feel as though I am a troll. Which is really sad because they are the ones looking for a man to parade on their arm and smooch in public.

I just get tired of having to school these pups.

I would go to the gym but I do not need to workout. I need rest. I fear I would become one of those older lecherous dudes hanging out in the sauna or whirlpool. Man that's what the internet is for. wink

I am trying to get out more

[ August 24, 2005, 06:35 PM: Message edited by: Erik G ]

A very good friend of mine, who is a successful lawyer and who just turned 32 recently met someone 13 yrs his junior. They've been dating all of 6 wks and are now living together. Well, as you can imagine, many red flags shot up as he was telling me about how he met his new boyfriend. I remembered how judgemental some of my friends were when I told them about a guy I met 9 yrs older than me, so I was quick not to judge or to be too critical of my friend's choice and his decision to live together. Btw, my friends who were monumentally critical of me dating someone they called, too old, well - they are former friends and my then boyfriend, is now my loving partner of 4 magnificent years together. And if I remember correctly, they're still a staple of the tired old Castro scene bouncing from watering hole to watering hole still searching for the meaning of life.

Anyway...I finally got a chance to meet this new boyfriend when they drove up for a visit last wkend. All of the negative thoughts I had about this guy went clear out the window. His youth, the age difference, which I am usually not concerned about became a silent issue with me because it involved a dear friend and I didn't want to see him get hurt. Well, it was no longer an issue once I learned how intelligent, sincere, and mature this young lad was. He speaks 4 languages and is a world traveler and entertainer. I was in awe and was so happy that my friend ignored the naysayers and followed his heart. They're both very happy w/ ea other and I've gained another friend in the process.

So, don't be so quick to write someone off based solely on age or whatever hangups or false perceptions you might have about dating. Life is too short and age is nothing but a number.

I would be somewhat cautious about getting into a relationship with a much younger man. I think it would be so easy for it to become a Sugar Daddy situation unless, as others have pointed out, unless there is some paruty in the education level and income levels of both people.

Part of being in a relationship is the sharing of the same interests, life experiences etc. too much of an age difference and this could become an issue.
What happens when one retires and the other still works, does that possibly bring problems to the relationship?
As we speak, some friends of mine( ages 55-62 or so) know a 31 year old from Spain who is visitng the States for 2 months and staying with some of them.They met him online. The guy has been unemployed for exntended periods of times and in and out of a depression. The guy from Spain says he is looking for a gay mentor to help cure his depression. Thats the long and short of it. Others, myself included, smell potential big time trouble. However, even now the age difference is starting to become an issue.

My experience has been that I do much, much better in relationships with people closer to my own age.

We're just one year apart and I think I like being close to the same age; not that there is anything wrong with large age differences. However, I do that that 13 years difference at 53/40 are a lot easier to deal with than 32/19.

PF, you don't want a tired old platinum card...you want the BLACK card!

I agree: it's an individual thing, but it's wise to be on your guard for opportunists at BOTH ends of the spectrum.

My all-time favorite write-off line from a guy about 16 years my junior several years ago: "Sorry, but you're just not old and out-of-shape enough for me." He was easy to let go. I saw him recently at a softball tournament and HE had become what he wanted in others. No loss at all, but startling to learn that some people think in such terms. Thus we live and learn - and age.

I have to admit that I have a penchant for guys in their 20's - younger than I. Most of the guys I've dated have been twenty or thirty-somethings....

I'm 36 and when I was 28 I had walked into a store and the sales guy who approached me, I could barely breathe because he for whatever reason ignited me in a way I hadn't felt for many years. At the times my boyfriend and I were on the quits and so with this in mind, I went back to the store and gave him my name and number. He phoned me while I was driving away and I asked if I could pick him up after work for a drink and he obliged. Well, two weeks later and a tour of every motel in the area, we parted ways. He happened to be 21 years old. To this very day he contacts me and I'm not interested and even told him that I'm pregnant (i'm female) and thought he would back off. Today I received a letter and he was quite manipulating in it with how he is older now and want to be 'friends'. The guy is a nutto! Be careful when dating young impressionable people is what I have learned because some might become obsessed with their more mature experience. If it keeps up I will have to take measures which I probably should have done by now but go figure!

[ September 08, 2005, 07:22 PM: Message edited by: Dee4 ]

I'll take what I can git! wink wink wink

I have always been attracted to guys very close to my age. But the older I've gotten, the range has widened. Now (with the exception of one time when a guy was 14 years older than me) the gap is more like 5 years younger to around no more than 10 years older.

Wednesday, September 7th, my husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversery. (Okay, I still haven't found the good roasting pan or BBQ utensils, so it was take out chicken).

As I stated in an earlier post, he is 11 years older than me, but as I get older (I turned 50 2 weeks ago) the age difference has dissapeared in my mind.

If I were ever to have another lover, I don't know if I'd want someone younger, (unless he had a 3% body fat, former marine, bubble butt, dick like a donkey, and the brains of a fencepost) as I don't know how we'ed be able to relate.

For now, I'll keep my hubby, but every now and then the urge to bury him in the back yard still surfaces.

A very Happy Anniversary to you both!!! Here's to the next 25!!!