No matter what happens at the end of a relationship, you always learn something. So, my question is this ... What are some positive things you learned from your ex? When I say ex, it can be an ex-girlfriend, ex-spouse, etc.

Okay, I will give my example ... after Mark, I learned I can still be friends with him and still love him for who he is. I also learned that I can still fall madly in love with someone. I thought I lost those feelings from the first boyfriend I had. It feels good to know I still have those feelings.

Your turn ...

Well from my one and only ex i have learned alot. I in contrast to the first post learned that you can't always depart as friends with your ex. Especially when they will not let you go, to the point of following you and harassing you. But i also learned that life doesnt end with the ex. That it moves on and that you can find that someone who makes it worth while.

My first gay relationship ended because he wasn't over his ex. His ex had broken up with him after 3 years and he wasn't over it (2 or 3 weeks prior to meeting me). So I learned, that you can't jump from relationship to relationship. You MUST give yourself time to heal or you can miss out on a very good person. ME .

I learned that no matter how screwed up a relationship is, and even finding out the ex was not even faithful a week, does not doom one to repeat the mistake. I waited a few months, still searching and then found the ONE. It will be 5 years on Sunday!, and I have never looked back or regretted anything.

Even my partner now would tell you that my ex shaped me as a person. My ex is still my mentor. Although what I think his flaws are, I have learned...
1. Not to let religion or political views get on your way of friendship
2. Learn to forgive and try to forget the mistakes of your loved ones--- move on quick

Not too long ago, he told me that he wanted to learn how I desperately try to forgive my favorite people, and work out issues with my family and friends. It made me feel good that I inspired the person I put up on the pedestal.

But above all, I try to be a better person not because of his examples, but because my partner now is such a wonderful man.

JEFF

Not to be cynical but my friends and I always joke about the "ex" thing since we overheard someone saying about someone else -- "He's my ex's ex's ex." OK

I'm good friends with my last ex

what I learned from him was how to hide assets during a bankruptcy

Don't take steroids...It'll kill you.
I actually learned about unhealthy relationships, and how if you don't have a good self-image, it is impossible to be in a truely great relationship.

I have been straining and straining to think of something...but I can't right now. All I can think of is the negative unfortunately. Oh, except that I now think I never want to live with anyone again. Believe me, to me that's positive.

Sounds like a story my lover told me. We are very close with his ex. He was in New Orleans with him, and he once had to introduce someone as his "Ex-lover's, lover's ex-lover."

Lessons I learned via my ex-boyfriends..... hmmmm....


1. Never EVER date a married man.

2. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. (this goes for just about everything else in addition to dating)

3. If the guy you're interested in is...
a)in the closet
b)thinks he isn't really gay
c)is just really really confused about his sexual orientation....

Do not. I repeat. DO NOT! date him. You can not fix him and you can not "help him along in his journey". Let him find his way first and then when he is at peace with himself, you can date him.

4. (the most important) Go with your gut feelings and always be true to yourself. even if it means being alone.

Ung, to me number 4 says it all.

They might as well have been lesbians. wink

Heh, yea the one about trying to date a guy who is confused or doesn't acknowledge his own sexuality rings so true for me. I spent nearly a year with one guy who asked me to help him get "un-confused."

Bottom line, I end up falling for the guy and then he says that he needs to date someone who isn't such a close friend. Big hurtin there! And this is from a guy who isn't an ex.

My real ex who started off as a *uck friend to me, ended up teaching me that sex can be about more than just getting off. That you can love the guy you're having sex with if you have enough connections in the rest of life. We ended up with me falling for him badly and then he had to move away and it all fell apart. I still feel so much for him, even 2 years later.

I was listening to a local radio station this morning and they were interviewing an author that has written quite a few books, helped create the tonight show with david letterman. Her latest book is the psycho ex game. I know this isnt the type of post that you were looking for here, but this was to good to pass up. I am planning on buying the book. But if you go to the website you can hear a hilarious song that the co-author wrote called psycho ex. http://www.thepsychoexgame.com

enjoy.

A lesson from a long-ago ex has become soemthing of a personal philosophy: A person who gives you joy may take it back and, in doing so, may take far more than he originally gave. So create your own joy.

It's either a lesson from an ex or from a talking lizard I met while using windowpane--that particular ex and the acid blur together.

~Adam

[ February 24, 2005, 08:34 PM: Message edited by: RCKSoniK ]

These are great....

Some are repeats:
1. Only like someone who likes themself
2. Don't date someone who wants to live through your life
3. Don't date someone obsessed with drinking
4. Don't date someone who lies:)

The ex and I aren't friends yet but may be down the road. I did find from him that I could have feelings for a guy and do a gay relationship. He also showed me a guy could really make me smile. I will never forget that!

Or even better yet, don't even think about dating somebody until you do a background check on him. wink

Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for seeing me
And for not leaving me
Thank you for staying with me
Thanks for not hurting me
Thanks for silence with me
Thank you for holding me
And saying I could be
Thank you for saying Baby
Thank you for holding me
Thank you for helping me
Thank you for tearing me apart
Thank you for breaking my heart


NJ