I need a sound advice

A very good friend of mine (and co worker) is straight and very cool about me being gay… as a matter a fact, his coolness and ability to see beyond that is the reason why I think he's one of my favorite person. We go to lunch together, take breaks together and we sort of hang out whenever we can. Then and he and another co-worker started dating. She is a friend too, but I can only take small dose of her at a time just because she's very needy to friends, very insecured which she readily admits (before they started dating, I resolved how to be friends with her by just dealing with her a little at a time). Well, that's the problem. She always wanted to be with him, even at lunch time, and I try to avoid having lunches with them. I feel bad because he'll come to my office and say 'Where were you at lunchtime… we were looking for you' and I come up with so many funny excuses. Should I tell him what I really feel about her? I'm thinking, he's been so cool with me, and I feel guilty that I can't throw the same for him that to me, his GF annoys be for long periods of time? But then, wouldn't it be very hypocrytical to pretend that I am ok sitting on lunches with her when I just want to bolt out? To add, most of the conversation at lunch had been what they would do on the weekend, or what they'll be doing that night, in short, 'couples' conversation, and I feel like the third wheel. I really think I am losing a great friend here, but I'm afraid I'm close to heading a collision with his girlfriend and that would eventually end our friendship… any thoughts? I asked my bf for advice, he laughed and said 'get advice from someone else, Britney'...ergo...
Just to make it clear---- I am NOT attracted to my friend at all.

Sincerely,
Feeling like a 14 y/o whinny girl

Hey Jeffrey. Tough one. I would say if you don't feel comfortable going to lunch with the both of them, then don't. But I wouldn't come out and tell him. Even though honesty is great, it can affect a relationship. Your friend might not think anything about it, but he may tell his girlfriend, and she make freak out about it knowing that's how you feel about her. And she may then affect how your friend feels about you.

If I were you, I would find other ways to hangout with your friend without the gf.

And if he really pushes about why you weren't at lunch, you can just let him know that you feel like a third wheel at times. Don't tell him the real reason -- that you can't take his gf in heavy doses!

My advice...
Tell him you feel like a third wheel when you go to lunch with them and if he'd like to have lunch with just the two of you maybe one day a week you'd really like that. You aren't lying here and you are giving him an option without hurting his feelings. Eventually, he'll get tired of her anyway and you'll have him all back to yourself. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Like most posters here, I think some things are better left unsaid. I wouldn't tell him how you feel about his girlfriend. (That is between you and his girlfriend.) I would maybe offer getting together at other times during the day. You may also say that you respect the fact that they may want to spend sometime alone together and truthfully you sometimes feel like a third wheel and it is a bit uncomfortable.

If they progress into a more serious relationship, he'll sometimes need an opportunity to tale a break from hanging out with her and you could provide that for him.

Whatever you do, don't make him feel like he has to choose between you and his girlfriend. Just let him know that you respect their private time together and you still want to hang out him when he has the chance. Good luck.

Throw the '3rd wheel' at him, and with a smile. He'll get it right away. Never compete with "the girlfriend" as it will leave an indelible stain. Plan for "guy night" without her. She'll understand that too. Good luck!

Agree with all who have suggested not saying anything to your friend. Since his new girlfriend is difficult for you to take in large doses, instead of getting together with them at lunches, just try to hang out with them both during coffee breaks--they're shorter, so you might be less likely to become frustrated being around her. Something to keep in mind: their relationship is new and, obviously, they want to spend as much time as possible together; that constant closeness will pass (even if the relationship continues) and then you may be able to spend the occasional lunch with just your buddy. After all, she may have some friends who feel about him the way you feel about her and when the first flush of closeness passes, she'll want to spend time with those folks & your buddy will be looking for friends again.

~Adam