So I'm new to the dating game. Last night I seemed to be getting strong signals (eye contact, moving to sit right next to me). I initiated a brief conversation (this was after a lecture, mind you) and then he looked like he would chew his own arm off to get away, and he did. How did I screw up a first impression so badly? I tried not to come on strong...

Maybe it was the hoop earrings? eek!

need more data.

first, what was the lecture about?

second, how did you initiate a brief conversation?

third, what was the subject of the brief conversation?

fourth, just how big were the hoop earrings?

1. modern architecture -- a good lecture too.
2. I cleverly left my gloves behind on the chair. He ran after me to return them.
3. Name/profession exchange.
4. Oh, about 12'; I needed something to match the big hair and lip gloss.

smart and obviously likes sports. Maybe the guy was intimidated by you.

This may seem basic, but are you sure he was gay?

And if he was gay and thought you were cute - to the point he wanted to sit by you - he may have a boyfriend back at home and he was just looking for a little perk to help the lecture pass quickly in sitting by a cutie. You never know about people's motivation. I'd chalk it up to bad timing and forget about it. Life's all about timing.

<canmark taking notes> That's a good one! I must try that sometime.

Yeah, it coulda been wishdar, but a man can dream of finding that someone who's cute and shares similar interests... :cool:

Ah, G4G, you are as wise about life as you are fanatical about tennis. Why, oh why, must Gabriela Sabatini be so singularly lucky as to have you as a stalker??

Aw, shucks.

We are all wise when it comes to other people's lives and we're all idiots when it comes to our own (most of the time). Don't sweat it. You seem to have a good attitude about it. I really think it's just a matter of time and having a little bit fun along the way is alright too. wink

Chi-townfan...

do you ever go to CREW to watch basketball games? i know it's a bar and all, but there always seems to be a nice, sporty crowd there...and i know a lot of these men are single!

I wouldn't call myself a good fit for the sporty crowd ( eek! I know, I'm a disgrace to the boards -- I honestly try so really hard to be interested the baseball and football threads, but I have nothing to add beyond what I see in the papers), but that's not a bad idea. Any Chicago bars called NERD (where you can only get TINA from the Scrabble tiles)??

I wish we had a bar like that here in Tampa. But it would go out of business....... Only South Beach wanna-be circuit queen clubs stay open here.

That's a good start. Don't put yourself down. It may just be that the guy was straight. Nothing can screw with a guys head like a really handsome, friendly str8 guy!

Yeah, no kidding. Thanks.

That happened the other day at discussion group. Good looking guy sat down beside me, established eye contact, and we had a good conversation during a break. I decided to get up the nerve to ask him out by asking him what restaurants he has been to recently and has he been to that new one. He answered that he and his girlfriend went to it last week and liked it.

I must of looked so disappointed because he asked me if there was anything wrong. ARRRGH! Then I put it together. The group was mostly women, the few men were probably gay (but then what to I know I thought he was). I was just siting the observing with my Jayhawks sweatshirt on. He started by asking if I was disappointed by the game (we had just lost to Texas Tech in double overtime on Monday.) So we talked about the game for a while and moved on to other topics.

He just saw another guy that might be interested in sports and wanted to talk about it.

I was so disappointed.

Chi-town fan, here's some advise....men are just like CTA buses...wait five minutes, and another will come along. I wish I could write something that would ease the pain of rejection, but if I could, I'd be so rich that I'd only have time to count my money. Don't give up. You may not have met Mr. Right yet, but he just may be coming around the corner. Have I met my Mr. Right yet? Nope. But you never know what might be coming around the corner.

When I first started dating many moons ago I kept getting my gaydar jammed too. I finally found a great gay and lesbian support group and that is where I was found by my "Mr. Right". I say he found me because he came on to me and I was oblivious at first. He told me later that he thought I was just ignoring him for some reason. I was just talking with everyone in the group and didn't realize this guy was standing and sitting to me almost every where I went in the room. Funny how I look back on that and think that maybe I didn't think he was coming on to me because he was so cute and sweet and my self esteem wasn't the greatest at that time. I just didn't think he would be looking for a guy like me. All the time he was trying to get "MY" attention. Ha!!! That first date has lasted 13 years now. He is an awesome guy and the love of my life.

Aaaugh. I'm doomed. eek!

Gadbearr, kujhawker thanks for the encouragement. I met someone on-line this weekend. And though we only exchanged a message each, I felt a good synergy, but he hasn't gotten back to me since I sent my pic... Ah well, sometimes you're Mighty Man, sometimes you're Mutt. At least I know somebody meets my high standards. To ease the pain, I went shopping for brewing equipment. :cool: