Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Flyers coach's wife dies, but he still coaches in game
Outsports Discussion Board > Outsports > Hockey
Joe in Philly
A sad story...if you were in this situation, would you go to work the day your loved one died?

Hours after wife's death, Barber coaches Flyers to win
Joe in Philly
More articles on the death of Bill Barber's wife...I didn't realized that she died just past noon on Saturday, and the game that day was at 3 pm. Just 3 hours after she died, he was behind the bench.

Barber laments his toughest loss ever

Garth Snow can relate
rich_sf
This is hard to fathom. Go back to work 3 hours after her death, and arrange the funeral to accommodate your coaching schedule?? Life does go on, but that sounds extreme. Grief works in strange ways sometimes. From his words it seems clear that he's honoring his wife's dying wishes, but it also sounds like he's in deep denial and not yet grasping the loss.

I would think that sooner or later, either willingly or involuntarily, he's going to have to stop everything and just learn to accept the huge change in his life. I do hope he'll be OK.
Chip
I too offer my condolences to Coach B. I also don't think there is anything necessarily wrong with what he did or what he is doing in relation to his loss. I trust that he knows what his needs and limitations are. It's obvious that he loved her. How he expresses that to others is irrelevant. When my grandfather passed on five years ago, I had a game the next day. I was extremely close to him; he helped my mother care for me and my siblings in the absence of a father. There were those who were critical, but I didn't feel like I had to answer to them. It was a huge change in my life--nothing like this, to be sure--but I accepted it.
My best wishes to him and the rest of his family.
Ted
QUOTE
Originally posted by rich_sf:
This is hard to fathom. Go back to work 3 hours after her death, and arrange the funeral to accommodate your coaching schedule?? Life does go on, but that sounds extreme. Grief works in strange ways sometimes. From his words it seems clear that he's honoring his wife's dying wishes, but it also sounds like he's in deep denial and not yet grasping the loss.

I would think that sooner or later, either willingly or involuntarily, he's going to have to stop everything and just learn to accept the huge change in his life. I do hope he'll be OK.


I think I understand. The morning my partner died I raced home from the hospital. He wanted certain possessions to go to certain people, and I felt like I HAD to do it immediately. I put all the items in my car and drove around bringing everyone the things he wanted them to have. People were shocked by the sight of me, calmly saying "Rod died this morning here, he wanted you to have this. Gotta go." It was several hours of respite from what awaited me, and I gave no thought to the fact that I must have seemed insane. He asked me to do it, I said I would, and it had to be done. Barber will have plenty of time to cry and ponder the chasm in his heart, but he can't do it until he's done what he felt his wife wanted. He's in my prayers.
scottie
His wife specifically asked him to continue coaching and not miss any games. He has reduced some of his traveling time (i.e. team traveled on a Tuesday to an away Wed. game, he would travel on Wed. to have more time at home).
Joe in Philly
Here's a segment from the article in today's paper about the memorial service for Jenny Barber:
QUOTE
After the service, Bill Barber graciously spent about 10 minutes with four print reporters, getting across how proud their children made him and Jenny. Their daughter, Kerri, 27, planned the church service and funeral.

“Our biggest goal was to have our kids be what they are today,” Barber said. “I wish we had more of these kind of kids in the world. I cherish them.”

Barber also wanted to make it clear why he coached the Flyers on Saturday afternoon against the Minnesota Wild, 3 hours after Jenny died, and why he coached the team Monday night in Atlanta.

“(Jenny, Kerri and Brooks) know how much love I have for the game and for what I’m doing,” he said. “I wanted to stay (home Saturday), but the kids said, ‘If you don’t go, we’re not talking to you.’ I’m trying to be good at (coaching) for her.

“(Coaching now) is good for me. I want to be around the guys. I need them and I need my two kids. I want to be in my environment — the rink.”


Link to full article
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2012 Invision Power Services, Inc.