No doubt you've all seen Pirate Randall Simon hit a 19 year old woman at Miller Park last night (it's been all over ESPN, the Today Show and today's outsports Jock Talk). It's certainly one of the most outrageous boneheaded incidents I've ever seen. I hope the Milwaukee County Sheriff throws the book at him.
btw -- Jim & Cyd -- I hope you'll consider changing your blurb on the incident from "Beating the Meat" -- since it makes light of it -- let's remember the facts -- a woman was hit with a bat! He could have caused serious injury (it's not like he just spit at her or something ...). It hardly matters that the woman was wearing a costume -- she had as much a right to be safe on the field as the ballgirls, the groundskeepers, the color guard ...
[ July 10, 2003, 05:51 AM: Message edited by: DCBucky ]
Full Version: R. Simon assaults woman with bat
What a donkey. I couldn't believe this when I saw it. One more reason to dislike the Pirates (I'm not sure what the other ones are, but I'm sure there are other reasons).
from William1865:
"One more reason to dislike the Pirates (I'm not sure what the other reasons are...)
How about adding those truly ugly yellow throwback uniforms??
A decision has been made: disorderly conduct with a fine of approximately $400 and a court date September 3.
~Adam
"One more reason to dislike the Pirates (I'm not sure what the other reasons are...)
How about adding those truly ugly yellow throwback uniforms??
A decision has been made: disorderly conduct with a fine of approximately $400 and a court date September 3.
~Adam
QUOTE
Adam:
How about adding those truly ugly yellow throwback uniforms??
Agreed. They look like bananas.
How about adding those truly ugly yellow throwback uniforms??
I keep trying to download the video for myself, but I just cannot seem to get the right "LINK"! 
QUOTE
Cattledog:
I keep trying to download the video for myself, but I just cannot seem to get the right \"LINK\"!
Bravo. Very funny.
I keep trying to download the video for myself, but I just cannot seem to get the right \"LINK\"!
OK, I'm only saying this because no one was seriously hurt... but the video is pretty freakin' funny...
Did anyone else notice the bratwurst's reaction to the whole incident? While the Polish Sausage goes back to help, the Brat makes a dash for victory. I think the Brat was in on the whole thing, a la Tonya Harding...
Did anyone else notice the bratwurst's reaction to the whole incident? While the Polish Sausage goes back to help, the Brat makes a dash for victory. I think the Brat was in on the whole thing, a la Tonya Harding...
People running in the sausage race: funny.
People running and falling down in sausage race: very funny.
People getting hit by a baseball bat during a sausage race: not funny.
People running and falling down in sausage race: very funny.
People getting hit by a baseball bat during a sausage race: not funny.
QUOTE
DCBucky:
People running in the sausage race: funny.
People running and falling down in sausage race: very funny.
People getting hit by a baseball bat during a sausage race: not funny.
Oh, come on, Bucky. Surely this isn't the wurst thing you've ever seen.
People running in the sausage race: funny.
People running and falling down in sausage race: very funny.
People getting hit by a baseball bat during a sausage race: not funny.
No Wm65 -- your puns are the wurst things I've seen
Don't get me wrong -- I laugh me head off when Homer Simpson falls down a cliff from an ambulance gurney. But (this from Hofman's column in the Milw. Journal this a.m.): " ... remember there's a person in that get-up, and when humans encounter bats in motion, personal injury is a predictable outcome." Would it have been funny had she been really hurt?
Suggested punishments for Simon: trade him to the Brewers (a fate worse than death!) -- or make him run in the next sausage race. And we do have detente: the sausages will run against the perogis in the 'Burgh when the Brewers visit in August.
btw -- July 9 is becoming a day of infamy in M'waukee. A year ago it was the infamous All Star game tie. Now Sausagegate. Remind me not to go back there next year on that date!
[ July 11, 2003, 06:20 AM: Message edited by: DCBucky ]
Don't get me wrong -- I laugh me head off when Homer Simpson falls down a cliff from an ambulance gurney. But (this from Hofman's column in the Milw. Journal this a.m.): " ... remember there's a person in that get-up, and when humans encounter bats in motion, personal injury is a predictable outcome." Would it have been funny had she been really hurt?
Suggested punishments for Simon: trade him to the Brewers (a fate worse than death!) -- or make him run in the next sausage race. And we do have detente: the sausages will run against the perogis in the 'Burgh when the Brewers visit in August.
btw -- July 9 is becoming a day of infamy in M'waukee. A year ago it was the infamous All Star game tie. Now Sausagegate. Remind me not to go back there next year on that date!
[ July 11, 2003, 06:20 AM: Message edited by: DCBucky ]
But even the girl in the costume said it was no big deal. She was very frank about it.
Sure, if she had been hurt, it wouldn't have been funny. But she wasn't, so it is.
Sure, if she had been hurt, it wouldn't have been funny. But she wasn't, so it is.
Yeah, I am afraid I am with William on this one. Of course Simon's act was stupid as hell. But, I also heard the sausage woman saying it wasn't a big deal. Even the CNN and other network anchors were trying to keep a straight face when they were showing the video last night. Nobody is questioning that this behavior is not kosher , but nobody was seriously hurt. Let's lighten up as a society, please! All I heard was that she scaped her knees when falling. Other parts of the sausage were left intact.
, but nobody was seriously hurt. Let's lighten up as a society, please! All I heard was that she scaped her knees when falling. Other parts of the sausage were left intact.
Cattledog, since she is sausage, technically, the Italian Sausage's injury would be "torn casing" (not skinned knees).
By the way: baseball trivia note here: Randall Simon played a role in the meltdown of John Rocker. When they were both with the Braves, Rocker is reputed to have called Simon a "fat monkey," which didn't go over well with anyone in the Braves lockerroom. So did the unresolved trauma of suffering a verbal assault from a meat-head cause Simon to lash out against actual meat? I want to hear the psychological experts debate this on the Greta Show.
[ July 11, 2003, 07:12 AM: Message edited by: Charlie in the Trees ]
By the way: baseball trivia note here: Randall Simon played a role in the meltdown of John Rocker. When they were both with the Braves, Rocker is reputed to have called Simon a "fat monkey," which didn't go over well with anyone in the Braves lockerroom. So did the unresolved trauma of suffering a verbal assault from a meat-head cause Simon to lash out against actual meat? I want to hear the psychological experts debate this on the Greta Show.
[ July 11, 2003, 07:12 AM: Message edited by: Charlie in the Trees ]
QUOTE
WhiteSoxFan:
I think the Brat was in on the whole thing, a la Tonya Harding.
That's gotta be the FUNNIEST thing I've read online all week! I'm stealing it, okay?
I think the Brat was in on the whole thing, a la Tonya Harding.
QUOTE
WhiteSoxFan:
nyone else notice the bratwurst's reaction to the whole incident? While the Polish Sausage goes back to help, the Brat makes a dash for victory. I think the Brat was in on the whole thing, a la Tonya Harding... :p
I noticed that, too. Granted, the Bratwurst was leading anyway, but she really got her buns in gear after the assault.nyone else notice the bratwurst's reaction to the whole incident? While the Polish Sausage goes back to help, the Brat makes a dash for victory. I think the Brat was in on the whole thing, a la Tonya Harding... :p
And let's not forget the poor Hot Dog, who was inadvertently knocked down as well. I think she might've won the race otherwise; up to that point she had been running with a lot of relish.
I think that we all need to lighten up as a society, because the young lady wasn't hurt, stated that she wouldn't be filing a lawsuit or any other charges(which she has every right to do), and has repeatedly stated that the media has sensationalized this story to no end. I thought it was funny at first, but do agree that Simon shouldn't have done it.
BTW, when Simon hit the costume, he didn't actually hit her head, because her head is where the tie(yeah, the sausage wears a tie)is. She stated that the head takes up most of the costume, and that makes the costume hard to balance!! She stated that some of them have fallen over without even coming into contact with anyone or anything, because the headpiece takes so much space!!
Simon stated that he would apologize to her in person and give her an authentic MLB bat (appropriate huh!!)
[ July 11, 2003, 09:31 AM: Message edited by: SmoothRon ]
BTW, when Simon hit the costume, he didn't actually hit her head, because her head is where the tie(yeah, the sausage wears a tie)is. She stated that the head takes up most of the costume, and that makes the costume hard to balance!! She stated that some of them have fallen over without even coming into contact with anyone or anything, because the headpiece takes so much space!!
Simon stated that he would apologize to her in person and give her an authentic MLB bat (appropriate huh!!)
[ July 11, 2003, 09:31 AM: Message edited by: SmoothRon ]
I've seen this girl (Mandy Block???) interviewed on TV a couple of times. What a sweet girl! No lawyers, no spokesman. Just a nice girl with a fun sense of humor. A really good sport!
MLB has doled out its punishment. Simon has been suspended 3 games and fined $2000!
This whole incident just seems like something Mike Tyson would do!
QUOTE
Just4Kxx:
This whole incident just seems like something Mike Tyson would do!
No. Mike Tyson would've taken a bite out of the sausage meat.
This whole incident just seems like something Mike Tyson would do!
Oh, the threads I miss while I'm away... wink
Here's a cartoon depiction from the Phila. Daily News...and below is an amusing summary of some of the headlines around the nation...
Here's a cartoon depiction from the Phila. Daily News...and below is an amusing summary of some of the headlines around the nation...
- Philadelphia Daily News: Was Pirate trying for a grand salami?
- New York Daily News: Police grill Pirates' Simon for hit on racing sausage.
- ESPN.com: Wurst-case scenario, Simon takes hack at dog.
- USAToday.com: Simon swings at sausage.
- MLB.com: Sausage race turns serious.
- Philadelphia Inquirer: Brewers 2, Pirates 1.
Letterman's Top Ten Excuses of the Baseball Player Who Beat up the Sausage
10. There hasn't been a good bizarre ballpark attack in a while.
9. Always wanted to be on Marv Albert's blooper reel.
8. Looking to land a big endorsement deal with Jimmy Dean.
7. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you blindside the opposing team's costumed racing mascot.
6. It was a Brewers-Pirates game. Somebody had to liven things up.
5. The bratwurst gave me fifty dollars to take down the sausage.
4. I guess I misunderstood the Atkins diet
3. When a giant sausage is running at you -- you act on instinct.
2. Pete Rose bet me I wouldn't
1. Who doesn't "pound the sausage" every once in a while?
10. There hasn't been a good bizarre ballpark attack in a while.
9. Always wanted to be on Marv Albert's blooper reel.
8. Looking to land a big endorsement deal with Jimmy Dean.
7. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you blindside the opposing team's costumed racing mascot.
6. It was a Brewers-Pirates game. Somebody had to liven things up.
5. The bratwurst gave me fifty dollars to take down the sausage.
4. I guess I misunderstood the Atkins diet
3. When a giant sausage is running at you -- you act on instinct.
2. Pete Rose bet me I wouldn't
1. Who doesn't "pound the sausage" every once in a while?
An update (I know you were all on the edge of your seats): Sausage girl has official retired -- no more races for her! She got a free trip to Curacao (Randall Simon's homeland) out of it -- they were horrified down there that Americans would think of the islanders as bat-wielding sausage-hating fiends. More importantly, she received a certificate of bravery from the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council.
And Simon mended fences with the Brew Crew by buying Italian sausages for a section of Miller Park in September while visiting with the Cubbies.
Last year this was about the most exciting thing that happened in the stadium all season -- but now the Brewers are flirting with .500! btw -- the Polish sausage has won the most races thus far this year.
Link: \"Relishing the Memories\"
And Simon mended fences with the Brew Crew by buying Italian sausages for a section of Miller Park in September while visiting with the Cubbies.
Last year this was about the most exciting thing that happened in the stadium all season -- but now the Brewers are flirting with .500! btw -- the Polish sausage has won the most races thus far this year.
Link: \"Relishing the Memories\"
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