A friend of mine died and I wanted to honor him with a tribute. You all would have loved him.

Sorry about the loss,Jim.He was way too young.May he rest in peace.

I'm sorry to read that Jim, Anthony sounds like a great guy. It sounds like Outsports gave him a lot of happiness over the past year.

That's a beautiful tribute...and what a big life he led in such a short time. He dealt with more serious stuff than many people experience over an entire lifetime. I hope you're able to stay in touch and give support to his boyfriend...

Anthony was my team mate on many saturday afternoons and at the Gay Games in Chicago. As much as my opportunities in life were more fortunate than the hardships he had been dealt, I envied him a great deal. The spirit he had about himself, his sexuality, and his participation in sports were rare. He was a kind soul and you could see in his eyes that his heart was open to new people, new ideas, and to the possibilities of the future. On a long train ride back to our hotel after the championship game at the Gay Games, Anthony sat with his boyfriend and gently traced his fingers back and forth on his partner's forearm as the train wheels chunked rhythmically underneath us and the setting sun sparkled off the chrome of the window pane. Gradually, he fell asleep. The gold medal around his neck shone. This is how I will always remember him.

I'm sorry that you lost a friend and that we lost an out and proud young jock. As I read about him it reminded me of the fun/silliness I experienced joining Boston sports teams in the latter half of the seventies and how cool it was to have found these people, many still among my best friends.

Jim I am really sorry for the loss of your friend. My sympathy to you and all the guys from the team. I am so jealous that he was able to be so out and comfortable at such a young age.

Curious-was he an Outsports member?

Curious-was he an Outsports member?

That's how he found out about football but he wasn't an active member.

Sportsfate, what you wrote was beautiful.

Your friend is so incredibly young and it's always a great tragedy when someone so young is taken from us. By your tribute, I feel as though I would know him and have experienced some sense of your loss. It feels as though I have lost out by not knowing him personally. Thank you greatly for allowing me to see your friend Anthony through your eyes. That was very emotionally moving! My condolences are with you.

A tragic loss and a wonderful tribute. It's haunted me all day. My heart goes out.

My condolences on your loss, Jim.

It really was.I'm sure your friend would be honored and touched.Who wouldn't want to be described with such beautifully decriptive words?

I always think that things happen for a reason. Maybe he was little ahead of his time and the world he was born into was not quite ready for him yet.

Seems like you were fortunate to know him Jim.

What a beautiful tribute Jim! I am sorry for your loss!!

What a wonderful tribute to such a courageous, classy young man. I'm so sorry for your loss. As well as the loss to the gay sports community. Anthony seems like a pleasurable person to know. And what a life he led, in such a short time. I admire how he was so out and proud. May he rest in peace.

A tragic loss and I offer my sincerest condolences to those who's lives were touched by this terrific young man.

As I learned when my Dad passed away four and a half months ago, the hurt never goes away but you eventually learn to make friends with it. That tribute piece that you wrote was beautiful, and it gave me an opportunity to really understand the impact he had on those around him. It's that love and passion for sport, and most of all, his determination to be true to himself, that we can take away through this difficult time. Remember those good times, and take the qualities he showed and use it to better those around you.

I know it's really soon, but perhaps your Gay League or Team can consider creating an award in his honour...for most dedicated player. A great way to honour him.

Be strong, and just know that he's in a better place.

Reading this tribute brought a tear to my eye. I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.

Josh

Great story, i had a tear in my eye! thank you so much for sharing. The world lost a shining star, thanks for sharing some of the glow

Jim...I'm so sorry for your loss. Sportsfate...your words were so eloquent and paint a beautiful portrait of a young, out, gay man.

Having read the tribute to Anthony, it sounds as though his death was a loss for all us...the gay community sorely needs men with Anthony's courage and integrity...and from the looks of the pictures, he was a sexy thing too! I hope it is some consolation to you and your teammates to know that you brought joy and comfort to Anthony during his short life. May he rest in peace.

What a great loss! Only the good die young!

I LOVE your tribute. You're very fortunate that you got to know such a beautiful young man. He was also lucky to have you guys for your love and support. Your article touched my heart. I'm glad that you've chosen to share Anthony with us.

Are you thinking of opening up a fund or donating to an organization that supports gay youth in memory of Anthony Castro?

My sincerest condolences to all the friends and family he has left behind. May he rest in peace!

Are you thinking of opening up a fund or donating to an organization that supports gay youth in memory of Anthony Castro?

That's a great idea, but we're all still dealing with the shock right now. His funeral is next week.

Jim, let me stand among the fellow O/Sers when I offer my deepest condolences. It appears that Anthony was taken away too soon, but had a profound impact which will last in perpetuity. May he rest in peace.

Wow, what a loss.

My condolences to you Jim, to Cody, to his family, to 'sportsfate' and the rest of his teamates on the Outsports and LA Motion family.

I played football at tournaments that Anthony also played at (though my team never played his), and feel sad for not having gotten to know him. From your words it is clear that he was a special man, full of life, love, integrity and cajones.

Jim, I hope you and Cody are getting the support and connection you need. I hope those close to you stay close, share stories about his life, and offer you the space to grieve.

With deepest sympathy,

phil

What a beautifully written tribute to Anthony. Thanks for your words. My thoughts are with you and those who knew Anthony best.

Wow. Heartwrenching. Thank you for posting. My sincerest condolences to you.

Jim's tribute is linked from Andrew Sullivan's blog as well as Gay.com/the Advocate. It's wonderful that Anthony's life is being honored so widely. We lost a great kid.

Is this Cody his boyfriend? Very tragic.

Yes, that is Anthony's boyfriend.

Heartbreaking.

Yikes, Jim...............heart-rendering..............I drive thru Banning just about every other month on my way to my ranch in Joshua Tree. Who would ever know there was a budding Gay Games player there, yearning to get out of a small town, to the big city, to play football.

Oh, so young, so sad.............you have all my sympathy.

May I send a note to the family?



TRL

(Thomas R. Long, San Diego & Joshua Tree National Park)

I'm reading what you wrote and what is written on the ESPN site and I'm trying my hardest not to cry.

No matter what I say on here can make you feel better. My thoughts are with you, his family and his beloved friends.

Here's a link to LZ's story on ESPN.com; The Brilliant Life of Anthony Castro

Just got back from the funeral. The last two days with the wake and service were heartwrenching.

Anthony's high school held a memorial service for him and 500 people attended. The principal read aloud a love letter from Cody to Anthony; that alone shows you the impact Anthony had on his community.

Cody must be in profound, mind-numbing pain and shock. Jim, please express our concern and support.

Anthony was a dear friend of mine, and not having him here is hard right now, but anyone who knew him knows that it will never be possible to forget him. I am also Cody's cousin and i am the one, that i am so proud to say, introduced them to each other. Anthony taught me a lot, like to be more comfortable in my own skin, and to live for what makes you happy. In these hard times, a quote comes to mind and helps me through;

"Remember if you look straight at the light your eyes will always adjust"

i miss you man

Thank you Jim for getting me the ablity to comment.....your tribute is perhaps one of the most eloquent and moving statements I have ever read on Anthony and it is right on in all aspects!

As his high school counselor, gay mentor, and guardian I remember well when he first asked me "how do I find guys like me, they are not in the clubs, at school, the teen center, and definately not on the internet!" I told him to google gay and football...I told him there is gay everything and there has to be a bunch of guys who love the sport like he did. Well long story short he found LA Motion and the rest is history it was love at "first and 10". I think its funny you worried if he was going to be real from his email....because I told him that if the team was in West LA there wouldn't be enough guys to make a team so be prepared for it to be mostly lesbians. In typical Anthony fashion his comeback was "as long as they are fast and hit hard I'm cool with that!"

Even though Anthony personally made All Conference, was a team captain, and recieved the Coach's Award his senior year in high school football it was a tough year with a 1 - 9 record. For a guy who was used to winning he needed to find a better place to let his tallents shine. I think receiving the gold medal from Esera was tantamount to his love of the sport and he told me "the second greatest highlight of his life".

Which brings me to my last comment and that is that the only thing Anthony loved more than football, the thing that gave him the happiness that made his life complete and full, and the greatest highlight of his life was his partner Cody. You may think that for a young man of only 19 it is not possible to really know true and mature love but let me assure you as a man of 47 who has had a 10 year relationship, Anthony and Cody shared the kind of love most of us only hope and pray to have some day. In just a little less than a year's time they built the trust, respect, admiration and memories that most of us can accomplish in 10 years.

Thank you again for this great tribute and to everyone who posted their comments.

Anthony's Pop, Phil

Great post, Phil. Anthony was so lucky to have you in his life!

I told him that if the team was in West LA there wouldn't be enough guys to make a team so be prepared for it to be mostly lesbians.

That made me smile; I love how all our stereotypes were shattered!

I just wanted to say thanks to all you who wrote about Anthony..

Anthony was and will always be the first and only true love of my LIFE... From the first 3 minutes I meet him I knew I loved him... Just like I knew he loved me... I know it sounds crazy but its true!!! Anthony was a one of a kind person and he got along with everyone... In the time we had one another there is one thing I do know we didn't take our love for granted, every second of every day we were always kissing, touching, or rubing one another... the guys from football know what im talking about!!! There was not one thing we did without each other.... There are soo many things I could say about my pookybear I could write a book....

If I could tell anybody anything from all of this is DONT TAKE LOVE FOR GRANTED!!!!!!! If you love the one your with tell them, hug them, kiss them, and hold on to them very tight, and then tell them you love them again.... make lots of good memorys because you never know when its your turn to go!!!!

Thanks again from Cody, Anthony's snooky bear!!!!

Phil & Cody, I wish I could give you both a big hug!! My thoughts are with you both!!

It is so sad when a good friend dies so young. Many tears will flow for a long time.

very sad-not just for Jim's loss but for our community's loss as well

Very sad- but what an inspiring story!!

I found a picture I took of them at flag football that illustrates this, inspiring us with the pure joy that comes from sharing who you really are with someone special.

We all miss you Anthony!



Anthony on the left, Cody behind him.

LZ Granderson's ESPN story

This is my first post here. I'm a huge sports fan though not an athlete. I am deeply sorry for the loss of everyone who knew Anthony, especially Cody. Words are worthless in painful situations like these but for what it's worth, my prayers and thoughts are with everyone who knew him and are experiencing the loss and pain.

Rishi

As I read the tribute I was reminded of a quote that said, 'When God walks through the garden of life he often takes with him the most beautiful flower he can find.' It seemed appropriate for Anthony Castro.

Sadly, I never had the pleasure of meeting Anthony and I’m not sure if it was my ability to relate or just good writing but I really felt as if I lost something after I read that article. It seems we've all lost something on that fateful January night but I’m going to make sure this January 21 I’ll be able to follow in his footsteps and be proud of who I am, devote myself to the people and things I love and be sure his memory lives on.