If you're watching tonight's GOP Debate on CNN, be sure to get absurdly drunk by playing the GOP Debate Drinking Game. I made up this list in the shower this morning, so take it for what it's worth. Enjoy!

Take 1 drink if…

1. Rudy Guiliani refers to 9/11. 2 drinks if it’s “the Democrats have a pre-9/11 mentality.” 3 drinks if it’s in response to a question about abortion.

2. John McCain smiles inappropriately after his answer. 2 drinks if it’s answering a question about bin Laden. 3 drinks if it’s about Hillary Clinton in a tube top.

3. Mitt Romney says he was the “red governor of a blue state.” 2 drinks if the state is bluer than his suit. 3 drinks if it’s bluer than his hair. 4 drinks if he says the “the People’s Republic of Massachusetts.”

4. Anyone invokes Ronald Reagan. 2 drinks if they compare themselves to Reagan. 3 drinks if Reagan spoke to them in a dream.

5. Tommy Thompson gives a coherent answer. 2 drinks if he’s standing vertical and gives a coherent answer. 3 drinks if he’s sober, standing vertical and gives a coherent answer.

6. Jim Gilmore says “consistent conservative”. 2 drinks if it’s referring to him. 3 drinks if it’s referring to
Ronald Reagan.

7. Mike Huckabee reminds us he’s a governor. 2 drinks if he adds the number of budgets he’s balanced. 3 drinks if it’s more budgets balanced than “that bastard Bill Clinton.”

8. Ron Paul angers someone. 2 drinks if it’s Rudy Guiliani. 3 drinks if it’s Ronald Reagan.

9. Ron Paul mentions an agency he will eliminate as President. 2 drinks for every department. 3 drinks for every branch of government.

10. Duncan Hunter speaks. 2 drinks if he claims he built the border fence in San Diego. 3 drinks if he brags how many illegal immigrants he kicked in the nuts.

11. Ron Paul looks comfortable behind a podium (don’t worry, it won’t happen)

12. Tom Tancredo and Sam Brownback don’t come off as creepy stalkers (ya, that won’t happen either). 2 drinks if you remember which one is which. 3 drinks if they talk more than 5 minutes all night.

Finally, each time someone claims they cut taxes X number of times, subtract 50 (or 150 if it’s Thompson), and then divide by 10 to find the number of hours you’ll be passed out from all this drinking.

I'm gonna need a lot more liquor in the house.

Palladio, are you trying to kill what's left of my liver? This will put me into a slumbering intoxication by the end of the two hours!