I received an email from one of my son's classmates. BTW my son is a senior in high school.

The upshot of the email was he didn't identify as gay but wanted to "experiment" with a guy. He was asking me to set him up with someone.

After recovering from the initial shock, I was perplexed about how to respond. On the one hand, hooking up just for sex is probably not the healthiest thing to do. On the other hand, he will do it regardless of what I say.

I established he was 18 and told him this was probably something to discuss with his parents (whom I also know). I referred him to the local LGBT youth group. I told him this sort of thing is best done in the context of a relationship. I did suggest some of the personal ads type websites (ie craigslist ) figuring it was better than a bathroom at a rest stop.

I am just curious what others would have done?

I'm trying to imagine how his parents might react when he says to them, for ie, "Mom, dad. I'd like to experiment sexually w/ another guy. Can you help me?"

I think you did the right thing though when you referred him to the youth group. I certainly wouldn't want to hook him up w/ anyone. God knows what could go awry & then you're later blamed for it. Bottom line, I'd leave this all on his shoulders. DO. NOT. GET. INVOLVED. This has more potential in harming the earth than any radioactive dump site (translation: you're treading on dangerous waters, ie your son's friend, knowing his parents, claims not to be gay, etc).

In terms of him hooking up online, I have mixed feelings about it. I've never done it, but many of my friends have. Their experiences run the gammet: from VERY positive to creepy Jeffrey Dahmer encounters. So....

Edited to add:

And I certainly would have STRONGLY emphasized to stay away from public bathrooms or any public place. Otherwise, he could easily land his ass in jail.

I admire you wanting to help the kid but I sure hope it doesn't come back to bite you in the ass.

I woud have completely ignored the e-mail or advised him you were in no position to respond specifically.

Also, did you ever stop to consider that this kid may have had no idea about public restrooms before and now you let him in on them? At 18, I had no idea about public bathroom crusing spots. Granted, things have changed since I was 18 but his parents may come knocking on your door one night wondering what the hell you were thinking.

Okay, this is way more judgemental than I wanted to do. I know your heart was in the right place but when it comes to teens, I am extremely wary as to what I say to. I used to have the kid across the street walk my dogs for me while I was at work and I made sure to never let him in the house when he came to be paid. He wiated out ont he porch while I got my wallet. That kid later came over to ask if I could hook him and his girlfriend up with a hot lesbian.

Yeah, I probably should have stopped at the youth group.

I didn't say anything about public venues such as bathrooms, rest stops etc.

I think I was channeling my own issues at that age. To be honest, I was flattered that he was okay with me enough to ask the question. We all know how difficult this can be.

I asked myself what I would think if this were my son asking someone else. I would not be happy but would have appreciated the reference to local support groups.

I also didn't want to cut him off as I know how hard it can be when someone finally works up the courage to ask.

I would have had many of the same feelings/thoughts you did. I would certainly discourage any further "dialogue" with the kid, though.

Don't want you to think I thought you weren't doing a good thing. Just trying to watch your back.

Are you sure this was legit? Could it have been a set-up or prank of some sort? I'd be extremely wary of this. You may be the coolest Dad who's ever walked the face of the planet, but I can't help but wonder why an 18 year old would send this.

Assuming it is authentic, as the other posters wrote, point him in the direction of a local GLBT support group. Don't point him in the direction of hookup sites or what not. If anything happened to that 18 year old, would you want to be liable? And you certainly do not want to get into a Mr. Robinson situation with this kid. What effect would it have on the friendship he has with your son.

Remember, Burtsfield, first and foremost, you are a parent. Give advice like one.