Unbelievably insane.

It's a shame that Rhianna is making a joke of a serious tragedy in society for publicity. She really deserves to be beat!

She's a clunt.

It is not "unbelievably insane" nor necessary to be calling her a clunt. This is psych 101 people. How many victims of abuse succumb to the "I'm sorry's" of their batterers and go back to them? Just because they are both celebrities doesn't make either one of them immune to the same kind of relationship issues that the rest of us have. And why exactly does she deserve to be beat? YOU deserve to be beat for suggesting that she should because like many battered women, she chose to go back to her abuser. ITS A CYCLE PEOPLE!!!

Fine, maybe I am cynical when it comes to celebrities, but it seems to be the common route for celebrities these days. "I am not going to be famous for my so called craft so I will give the public a dose of "reality"." This notion seems to have work for Spears, Jolie, Pitt, Cruise, Simpson, etc. I doubt Rhianna is that much of a victim. I expect the new album to be out in a few months in conjuction with her "beatings".

I fall somewhere in the vast gulf between the two ends of the mdterp/forthemasses spectrum. I certainly wouldn't refer to Rihanna as a clunt (is that some new slang I'm unfamiliar with? or just a way to get past the board's obscenity blocker?), nor am I particularly sympathetic to Rihanna and her "cycle of abuse" (whatever that means).

If a man hits a woman, that is absolutely wrong, and he should be held one thousand percent accountable for his reprehensible actions. But if a woman stays with a man who physically abuses her, then ... well, as Donald Rumsfeld (don't get all bitch-hysterical because I'm quoting a Republican) once said, "People who choose to put themselves in dangerous situations put themselves in dangerous situations." If a woman chooses to return to the man who abused her and refuses to file charges, then there is nothing that society or our legal system can do to help her. Only when she assumes some personal responsibility (the two words in the English language most hated by the Cult of Victimhood) for her situation can others step in to help her. Don't get me wrong, I do feel some sympathy for women who are beaten even if they choose to remain in a relationship with the beater. But it's something akin to the sympathy I feel for a compulsive gambler getting evicted from his apartment (living in Vegas, you meet a lot of those types - it's not just a cliche).

BTW, it is interesting to note that NOW (the National Organization for Whiners Women) issued a public statement about the abuse suffered by Rihanna, yet didn't say a word about the Muslim man in Buffalo NY who beheaded his wife in an honor killing. I guess NOW cares only about certain types of women's oppression.

You would think someone as successful as Rihanna would have a little more self esteem than this. I hope she finds the strength to tell this guy to take a hike.

I feel bad for any woman who endures a beating like this. But if Rhianna gets beaten again by this thug, well I just don't care. Yeah I know the psych 101 thing...but the vast majority of women who go back to the men who beat them are women who stay with the men for the sake of the children or for financial purposes. Neither of these are factors for her.

What a heroine she would be to a whole generation of young girls if she woud have pressed charges against this punk.

You'd be surprised how often self esteem and success DO NOT go hand in hand. Halle Berry is rumored to be very insecure and have low self esteem, and thats the same that I've heard about Rihanna. Sure my gut is to say how dumb can you be to go back to your abuser. One of the first guys I got involved with took advantage of the fact that I wasn't out to anyone and he was verbally abusive, but the first time he hit me I was out!! But not everyone has that kind of mentality. So I can't judge her from doing what many women have done before her just because she happens to be a well known singer.

As much as I hate abuse (especially of women & children) & I can feel sympathy for most women who find themselves "trapped" in such situations, there's just NO excuse for Rihanna. She is super wealthy, hello! Leave his ass & hire bodyguards.

This article echoed what many have said here, albeit sarcastically.

Tina Turner, who one would think of as a very strong woman, of course suffered abuse from Ike.

Riahanna's case is interesting because she is idependently wealthy and successful. But is a woman (or man) who puts up with physical abuse any different from one who puts up with mental abuse, with infidelity, with financial mismanagement, with political or religious differences... whatever? I mean, you may love your family members even though you have strong differences. I've never suffered physical abuse, so I don't know how it feels, but I wouldn't be so quick to judge other people. That said, it does seem foolish of her. She's young, successful, wealthy. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. But maybe, despite her perceived strength and idependence, she has self-esteem and emotional issues. Calling Dr. Phil! (Joke! Please, Dr. Phill, remain where you are. Do not meddle in this matter!).

And as for 'regular' women, sometimes it is difficult for them to leave because of children, jobs and financial support. Some may not have families they can turn to for help.

Physical abuse happens in the gay community, too. And should we look down on a man who stays with an abusive partner? Physical abuse goes hand-in-hand with mental abuse, and like a dog who gets beaten yet stays loyal to his master, the abused person may feel like they deserve it, like the partner is doing it out of love (like the parent who says "this hurts me more than it hurts you").

And that said, Rihanna--girl, you can do better! Why not be like Madonna and find yourself a young Brazilian model and make out with him at every chance you get?

I, like mdterp, dated a guy (a semi-pro boxer) who laid a hand on me once. Thank God I walked away w/ simply a sore right hand/wrist (I was blocking his fist from hitting my face). But that was enough to say bye bye!

This is why I made the "unbelievably insane" comment. She has no reason to be with him. They have no kids, they're not even married, she doesn't rely on him for income. I have no idea what could be going through her head.

Trauma, Isolation, Indoctrination, Reward.

Call it battered wife syndrome, Stockholm syndrome, or Hostage Disorder, they all have the same traits. Rihanna is the rule rather than the exception in my book. How many women or men do you know who say "I only told you the bad stuff?" after they go back to that assh*le who did them wrong and you call them out on it? How many friends get mad at you when you give them advice because they have low self esteem and asking someone with low self esteem to love themselves often leads to them getting mad at you instead of the person who punched them in the face or publicly humiliated them? That's why domestic disputes are so dangerous for the police; you try and arrest the husband and the wife defends him with a kitchen knife...

We don't know what her family life was like growing up, violence could be seen as an expression of love. Remember she didn't call the police, someone else did. And as for being a rich and famous star, she's 20 years old. Rihanna isn't even really her name. Most people I know who've gone into entertainment have extremely low forms of self esteem and they seek validation on stage. Childhood actors often turn to drugs or sex scandals or whatever because they never knew who to trust because of their money and never got to be a kid
because of their fame. Rihanna fits that category to me. It's not all blondes and blowjobs in Hollywood people.

What is a clunt anyway?

Well thank god someone else can see that celebrity, fame, and money don't necessarily mean shyt.

A clunt has many different definitions according to urban dictionary. Its often referred to as a combo between clit and ***, or a clumsy bitch or woman. I thought he meant it as referring to a female clown.

How long have they even been together as a couple, anyway? They're so young and relatively recent in the music business it can't have been for very long. Another reason to think it should be easier for her to keep him out of her life.

Nobody knows what goes on in a realtionship except the two people in it. There may be something in here we don't know. Maybe he's voluntarily undergoing therapy or anger management of some sort. Maybe she provoked or instigated the prior incident in a way none of us know about. Maybe it was rough sex play that got out of hand. Who knows? She really didn't look that worse for the wear to me; I'm glad they're trying to work it out. Now, if it happens again, then she needs to re-think what she's doing......

people who abuse learn to be abusers from their parents.
people who stay with their abusers learn that from their parents.

sad---

Sadly, you missed the most important component - Love.

I have no doubt that a) she's in love with the guy and B ) he's manipulating that to get her back. It's a classic part of the cycle jay notes. A psychologist on the Today show this morning described it as the "honeymoon" phase - he's beat her and now he's sorry and she thinks she can fix him, never mind the guilt she is feeling for abandoning him. She comes from a patriarchal culture and may think she deserves to be hit, or that the beating was a sign that she is failing in the relationship, not him.

I also have no doubt that this was not the first and likely will not be the last time she is beaten, but we are unlikely to hear about it until after the fact. It's important to remember the abusive cycle is not just about physical altercations, it involves a lot of psychological warfare between the abuser and the abused - she is never good enough, never does enough to please him, her friends are losers and her family is trying to get between them - anything to isolate her and make her dependent on him. That is what enables him to abuse the woman - she has already been psychologically beat down.

The kind of abuse Rhianna suffered (assuming the picture leaked from the LAPD was her) is not from a first-time beating. There are reports and rumors this has happened before, but she's covered for him (also a classic part of the cycle) and from what I can recall they have been a tabloid item for quite a while, but have neither confirmed nor denied their relationship. That quest for privacy could be a way of covering for earlier beatings as well, and could reflect extreme possessiveness on his side - another symptom of a larger problem.

Sure she's rich and doesn't need him, but I have seen plenty of battered women go back to guys who were far worse than Brown, and out of a feeling of love and empathy. My Ma was a volunteer at a shelter, so I got to know some of the women, and we went through a nightmare with my mother's cousin in the late 70s, when she was being stalked by her ex-husband before stalking was considered a crime. I can't pretend to understand the psychology of the women who stay with or go back to their abusers, but you can't deny it when you see it in action.

That also does not, in any way, excuse anything Brown has done. We would not have to worry about Rhianna, or any battered woman, going back to the abuser if there had been no abuse in the first place. It is, of course, possible that he's seen the error of his ways and is now working to handle his anger problems, but I'm not holding my breath.

More than 50% of women in abusive relationships return to the man that abused them at least once before finally ending it if they are lucky. Some keep going back and some dont survive the relationship.
This is not restricted to male / female couples either, domestic violence also exists in male / male couples but is likely less well documented.

Yeah, & another sad statistic is that the overwhelming majority of abusers never change their stripes. Very few do! And when they do it's usually too late. Too bad that fact hasn't sunk in for Ms. Rihanna. I agree with Munson Man, we don't know the specifics, but as the ole saying goes, "If it looks like a rat, smells like a rat..." Go figure.

i respect your opinion
but if you can't love yourself, then you're back to the abuser.
if she loves him that much, then all i have to say is that she deserves him.

OMG! The details are out. Brown has some serious issues to resolve & to fear. Rihanna is playing w/ fire (and not to mention her life).

I wonder if they'll be able to convict him without her testimony. Seeing as they are back together it's not likely to be a very cooperative witness unless something happens between now and the trial. And if she doesn't testify against him shame on her...and I don't want to hear from her if it happens again.

It is at she married now rumored that she married him last week while they were staying at P Diddy's Miami home. Suppose that means she cant be compelled to testify against him so that would put conviction in doubt.

Absolutely, Munson Man! I agree one thousand percent! But hmmm, despite what you say here, you had no problem raking Chris Evert over the coals. Oh, the irony.

Moving on, I disagree that very few abusers change. I don't have any hard numbers, but I heard a woman who ran a shelter speak once, and she said that a surprising number of men do change, but only if confronted with the cold hard reality of their actions. She had seen quite a few cases where the woman reported the abuse and testified in court, which led to the conviction of the batterer. Getting arrested, going through a trial, getting convicted, and serving jail time (not to mention a permanent public record as a guy who beats up women) can be so traumatic for the abusers that it pushes them into counseling and most important, to take responsibility for their behavior. Not to say that the changes happen overnight, but accepting personal responsibility is the without-which-nothing first step.

Abuse doesn't just spring up one day out of the blue. A lot of red flags almost always precede the first blow. The abuser is often excessively jealous or possessive. He is extremely controlling, dictating where the woman goes and what she does. He restricts or flat-out forbids her contact with family and friends. He limits her freedom by denying her access to money, communication (phone, computer, etc.), and car. He constantly monitors her, making sure to know exactly where she is and what she's doing every minute. In other words, extremely disturbing behavior is demonstrated long before any woman decides to move in with the guy, marry him, and have his children.

I am not judging Rihanna, or any other woman who stays with a man who beats her. What I am saying is that these women need professional help. Any woman who subjects herself to the scary behavior leading up to abuse, not to mention the abuse itself, has some very serious problems. As much as my heart goes out to any battered woman, I (nor anyone else) can't do anything to help her unless she takes that first step to helping herself. I pray that Rihanna's family and friends tell her that they love her, tell her that they are there for her no matter what, but also that they tell her she needs professional help, and that they repeat that over and over again until she takes that without-which-nothing first step.

From this item at Entertainment Weekly's website:

What he said!

Well @ least Chris has apologized publicly & is seeking help to understand his rage. & now we know, based upon his "word," that he grew up in a home full of domestic violence. Time will tell if he truly becomes "reformed."

Well damn Chris Breezy. You've got a third leg goin on there. If you gonna go commando and wear tight jeans...thats the kind of show you wanna give. I always wondered what made Rihanna stay as long as she did.

Well 3rd leg or not. Beatin a woman is UNACCEPTABLE...PERIOD! A [straight] man (or gay man) could look fine as he can be. But a "woman beater"? They deserve to go to jail & rot in HELL as far as I'm concerned!!!!

Oh hell no! The next time that mofo comes to any of my sisters houses...They're dead meat! The morgue will suit them well! & I will gladly pull the the trigger!...Mofos!

Yes I agree. While no one is above an ass whoopin....as a man you just don't do it to a woman. Lord knows there are times when a woman really pushes a man's buttons, particularly if its with a man she knows won't hit her. But, you've got to have self control. Same goes for some guys that I've dated. Just can't do it even though I have thought about whoopin a few of their asses.