So I finally have someone that wants to be with me. Yea me !!!. Yeah right. I'm freaking out. Why am I so scared to be with another man?

I've been there before and I was a nervous wreck any time we had a date or got together.

Am I out of my mind? I'm certainly attracted to other men and can see myself snuggling with them. But as far as having sex. Whooo. I don't know.

Sure there's the body issues. But we can do it in the dark, right

This guy was my friend from way back when. Should we go there? He's laid his cards on the table and they are some big ones. I mean, he won't do this, won't do that.

I'm at lost. I tend to over-analyze everything.

Please help....

Your first move? Share your concerns with him. Make sure to frame them in context of YOU. Don't say "You freak me out". Say "The idea of finally getting intimate with another guy still kind of freaks me out, so I hope you don't mind if we take things slow."

Have you told him what things YOU want to do? And what things YOU don't want to do? And if so, are you two compatible at all? Is he aware that this is a big issue for you, and that you're looking for somebody to make sure your first time goes smoothly?

If not, skip it. Seriously.

LXN

Don't be scared ... just focus on pleasing and enjoying yourself. What have you got to lose?

I told him we need to talk. Especially of my wants and insecurities.

He said It's cool....

Tell him your comfort zone. Make sure you know his comfort zone. Find the common ground. And if there isn't any, sex isn't obligatory, at least not immediately. (Or ever, if you like.) If he's the right kind of man, negotiating won't be an issue. Best of luck with this, Aaron.

Excellent advice, Lexington.

>>>I told him we need to talk. Especially of my wants and insecurities. He said It's cool....

Then why haven't you talked yet? Don't wait until your pants are around your ankles to start discussing things. Otherwise, you'll find it far too easy to just "let things happen". And those nights rarely work out as well. So talk to him already. Let him know what you do want to do, and what you don't feel comfortable doing. Let him know you're hoping and expecting that he'll do.

Two other random bits of advice:

* Condoms. Lube. Go buy them. Today. Practice putting them on until it's second nature. You don't want to be in a position of things getting hot and heavy, and then taking time out while you figure out how to put one on. Or, worse yet, deciding not to bother.

* I don't know how old you are, but if this is going to be your first sexual experience, it might go one of two ways. It might be so exciting that you finish before you even start. Or, more likely, it might be that you're so used to sex being a solo activity that you experience some "stage fright". It's normal, it happens, don't fret it. Sex is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy it. If you can't stay hard, switch to making out, or start working HIM over for awhile. If he's finished, but you can't, you might try having him sit behind you and just hold you while you finish yourself off. And if you can't get to orgasm, don't try to force it. Shrug, say "Guess it's not happening this time", and thank him for giving it a go.

LXN

I'm not sure what kind of "body issues" you have, but they may be all in your mind only. At this point, it should be obvious that your new friend has at least seen your body with clothes on and has decided to take the relationship further. So, for now, just roll with it! I agree with the other posters in that you should have a conversation with him about boundaries (at this time). In the future, the boundaries might change but by all means, don't let the topic of "sex" scare you away from an opportunity to form a deeper connection with someone who may turn out to be a life partner! Good luck.

I infer from your post that you have known the guy for quite some time, but strictly as friends. It isn't clear, however, if you two lost touch and recently became reacquainted or what. Do you feel like describing the circumstances under which you two became reacquainted or how you two realized you both are interested in men? I ask not to be nosy, but I think the real life experiences of other people are very instructive. By being willing to discuss it, and assuming others chime in, you may realize that your experiences aren't so different from other folks. Just a suggestion...

We were best friends in Jr. High. During the eighth grade, he began talking about another best friend. I became jealous, thinking I was the only one. So it just went from bad to worse, in our relationship. We lost touch, since we eventually went to different high schools. He was my last guy friend from that moment on.

25 years later, he finds me on Facebook. While chatting, I come out to him and he did the same. While he has had many gay experiences over the years, I have had one. So he is very knowledgeable. Yet I know hardly anything.

I'd say you will have a really great time, especially if he really cares for you. Nothing else will matter to him but making it good for you. So if you're attracted to him and he's attracted to you, talk things out at first, but then GO FOR IT.