ESPN's Jason Stark suggests some possible rule changes, most of which don't really stand up, but are a fun read.

#2 Stay in the box (hello Nomar!)
#6 Three pickoffs and you're done (the Charlie Hough rule)
#16 Ban all body armor (that means you, Barry)
etc.

You will never get the Players Association to approve these as official rule changes.

#19: The phantom must go.

I hate hate HATE the "phantom play." Touch second base, you wimp shortstops!

+#5: Ban Thunder Stix.

Amen!

Yes, thunder stix must go! :mad:

Oh, I agree. These are the type of things that sports writers like to bring up... but the logic falls through if you think about them for more than a second.

As an aside, does anybody know when/why the seventh inning stretch tradition began?

Origin of the 7th Inning Stretch

I was about to post the Taft thing, but decided to do a quick search and found out I had always bought into the myth myself.

While we're being curmudgeonly, here are three more proposals:

Artificial turf -- banned in all Pro ballparks. I don't care if they have to import dirt, use sprinkling cans and install grow-lamps only to get prairie weeds to grow, fake grass is an abomination.

The Designated Hitter? Pathetic. Add one more player to the rosters of NL teams and give those AL pitchers remedial education on hitting and base-running.

No paleolithic, pre-recorded, musically bombastic "rock-anthem" interludes played before and after games, heralding each batter, or between every inning. Nothing more high-tech than a Wurlitzer organ allowed (and even that may be going too far...) Those spectators who need baseball-with-a-steroidal-soundtrack are welcome to view games at home accompanied by their blaring stereo, watch schlocky baseball movies of their own choosing, or bring personal audio devices -- with headphones -- to the ballpark where they may discretely enjoy their bad-taste in music and ruin their own hearing during the game. (If I wanted to shout myself hoarse over the roar of moldy-golden-oldies, just to make myself heard to a companion in the next seat, I'd go to a bar.)
Any guesses what my opinion of "Thunder Stix" might be?

[ February 18, 2003, 02:05 AM: Message edited by: fielderschoice ]

What I'd really like is the super-duper-secret cell phone disabler. When I don't get to a game (often because I'm way out in Red Sox hinterland), I get tired of those folks in the not-cheap seats behind home plate chatting on their cell phones and waving to those with whom they are connected. Where's the CIA or whatever when we really need them! Get out the cell-phone canceller machine, and stop those idiots.

Yessssss (I say, with a nefarious, reptilian hiss) I completely forgot about those insidious cell phones. Let's employ a universal edict throughout planet Earth: If you're using a cell phone in a public space, and any other humanoid politely asks you to stop talking, by law you must terminate ALL non-emergency calls. Hopefully that would cut down on idiotic, self-important, incongruent blathering and gesticulating world-wide (Hey! Look, everybody! I'm raving like an insane person into this tiny electronic device!) Major League ballparks included (Hey! Look everybody! I'm a yuppie on TV!)

[ February 18, 2003, 12:38 AM: Message edited by: fielderschoice ]