Ah, me and my big mouth. I shouldn't have mentioned anything. I'm just dealing with something not uncommon: having developed feelings for a guy when I never thought I would, and, of course, he doesn't feel the same way about me. Story of my life.
What's weird is how this started. We had seen each other on one of those gay social online sites and had been IMing each other for months--typical conversations with occasional dirty talk. When we finally met, it wasn't for any of these typical reasons; rather, he bought an HDTV from me (I had upgraded in size). So, our first physical meeting was when he drove here last October to pick up the TV. I wasn't physically attracted to him then, but we hit it off as friends. Imagine that! Actual friends.
It turns out that we have a lot in common because he teaches middle school Language Arts (I teach middle school Spanish), and we've both had similar shitty love lives. He likes older guys; I like younger guys. He's 25; I'm...uh...older.
As time went on and we talked quite often and occasionally got together, he was struggling with feelings he had for some guy who was treating him like shit. He at first didn't listen to my advice, got treated even worse by this guy, and finally realized I was right and told the guy in early January to take a hike. Now, I hadn't developed any big feelings for him at this time, but I did care for him, and he knew this, though not as deeply as it was to become. He was always so thankful to me for being the only person in his life who had ever said certain complimentary things to him.
Over the last 2 months something changed, and I can't explain it. We talk several times a week, usually about school, our students, etc. During all this time my feelings toward him began to change. Dumbass me was really falling for this guy. Of course, what happens? HE ends up meeting someone on gay.com who's a year younger than he is, this guy ends up saying/doing sweet things, and now my buddy and this guy look like they're going to be an item. And in the perfect timing department, what do I do while this was all going on under my nose? I was upfront with my friend, telling him that my feelings for him had changed, that I really liked him. A lot. And his reaction? He was flattered but gave the typical response, "Well, at least we can still be friends."
Why the hell does this always happen to me? Every single damn time I end up falling for someone, he's not interested and ends up with someone else. I think I'll just become a priest.