All you Barry Zito lovers out there (and there are alot of us!) be sure to tune in to or tape or TIVO this Friday's episode of JAG. Zito guest stars as a pitcher who's charged with assault after his beanball nearly kills a batter at a Navy-Marine all star game. Sounds a bit like "Take Me Out" meets the Clemens-Piazza fiasco. But I am curious to see Barry act.

Any locker room scenes?

Maybe he can parlay this role into Mr. Affleck's "Take Me Out" when it goes to the big screen.

Oh man, I can't wait! I certainly hope there are lockerroom scenes! Of course, I have to wonder if Zito can act. Athletes aren't known for their acting abilities. Case in point, Shaquille O'Neale.

Of course, neither is Tom Cruise.

Isn't JAG usually written by the Pentagon?

I guess that means Barry Z will be wacking off on Friday (gameday) to release the tension of the episode? wink wink

OHMYGOSH! Is there a story behind this? Did he say in an interview that he does it before big games?

Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night!

Say, does anyone know when this Barry Zito episode of JAG airs? wink

Not sure, but I think it may be tonight.

Okay ... bobby ... one word, three syllables - Percoset. wink

I love that Neil Young album. wink

Before I delve into tonight's episode of JAG, let me question the central premise of the reason why I'm tuning in. A non-professional pitcher who can put enough juice on a fastball to knock a batter into the hospital? C'mon. Sure there's some cursory talk about him being scouted in his civilian life, But would an out-of-practice ballplayer have the ability to do so?

This thought nagged at me during the entire hour, which, as it turns outs, allows me to accept the mindlessly functional dialogue, delivered in a cadence that's like Dragnet without the urgency, that serves only to further the plot while ignoring insight or character development. That's probably not a fair complaint of a long-running series I've never before watched, but why else stunt-cast Barry Zito to lure baseball fans unfamiliar with the show?

Which brings me to the reason I'm writing this. When Zito delivers his first line of dialogue I burst in gales of affectionate laughter. I'm a Yankee fan but a baseball fan first, and I always get a kick out off seeing ballplayers work outside their uniform, from Raffy Palmeiro's Viagra ads to cinematic excursions like Roger Clemens in Kingpin and Mike Piazza in Two Weeks Notice. And because Zito seems like such a cool, laid-back guy (and because the already-handsome Oakland southpaw looks great in military garb), I embraced his awkward attempt at acting. In fact, his stilted delivery matched the unconvincing professional actors around him.

The plot apart from Zito's storyline is a compelling enough rehash of Courage Under Fire, though I'm not a fan of what I assume is a regular facet - the filmed-flashback structure of the show. But I appreciate the attention to detail in the baseball scenario. It uses the intricacies of the game to its advantage, accurately giving non-fans an impression of what goes on before, between, and after pitches - the moments the unenlightened sometimes refer to as "boring." Good also is the common sense surrounding the implications of the lawsuit, even if its resolution was a little too pat and the reverence towards the Hallowed Game is a little syrupy (a quibble I have with even Field of Dreams, an unarguable classic baseball fable). But, hey, that's episodic television for you.

Forgive me for not accepting the conventions of prime-time network drama, but I'm usually insulted when a melodramatic score underlines every story beat. If it were an intoxicating, distinctive composition like the lovely score in Six Feet Under, it'd add extra meaning to the scene. But generic strings and horns hamper the chance for the show to transcend its small-screen roots.

Annoyances such as this are inherent in television. The conventionality of the medium panders to FCC guidelines and and JAG's quest for the widest possible audience, and as a result the art suffers. Even the most esteemed television programs (like NYPD Blue and ER) have this subtle censorship imposed on them, resulting in studios compensating by pressing the boundaries of language and subject matter instead of pressing the boundaries of ideas. Why else do so many shows tread the same doctor/lawyer/cop ground?

But I'm glad I got a whiff of baseball tonight. CBS should be commended for the timing of their decision to run this episode. I experienced my first baseball withdrawal symptoms this week, so much I started wearing my Yankee cap again. I even almost went so far as to watch a Bad News Bears sequel, but my taste in movies slapped me out of that. Barely a month after the World Series ended and already craving a fix, I'll take any morsel I can get.

It's about to start! It's about to start!
It's about to start! It's about to start!
wink

Okay...I now know why I never watched this show before. IT SUCKS! Poor Barry gets his first shot at Hollywood and he ends up on this show. Oh, well, based on his performance (all seven lines of it), I hope he gets to stay in baseball a really long time.

Ah heck, seeing Barry in his cute sailor outfit made it worthwhile. The marine he hit wasn't bad-looking either. Come to think of it, the marine accused of murder was pretty cute too! I think it got corny at the end but we all knew Zito would get off. Of course, if he and the accused marine were sent to jail that would be a porn movie idea right there! Hmmmmmm, I can hear Chi Chi LaRue right now coming up with a script. Or maybe Falcon Studios! [grin] Seriously, I don't watch this show too often and now I know why. But seeing Zito was really the only reason I tuned in. You know, I think Zito would make a good accused murder suspect. He can have a crazed look in his eyes if he tried harder. Maybe a spot on CSI. Ah well.

I have never seen "Jag". I'm surprised it's still on the air because every episode (in the previews) look the same. Even the appearance of Zito couldn't make me watch this show. I was too mesmerized watching that cute Boise State QB...what's his name.. Dimwittle?

So...no locker room scenes? wink I missed the show--I fell asleep on my recliner around 8 pm and slept for hours and hours and hours. eek!

You didn't miss anything. The show sucked. Barry, of course, was cute as a button but only had a few total minutes of screen time.

I agree with everyone else, this reminded me of why I don't watch this show.

Barry was adorable! And I liked the way the Admiral 'went to bat' for him (yeah, pun intended) in the military hearing. Given Zito's diverse interests outside baseball, I'm not surprised he tried his hand at acting, as minor as his role was in the JAG episode. His uncle is actor Patrick Duffy, and I think one or both of his parents are musicians. But I hope Barry sticks to pitching for the forseeable future.

He admits to doing so, on a regular schedule.

Missed the show...No pics or screen caps of the sailor suit? Those tight white A's pants are flattering enough for my eyes.

Yeah, if you're looking for art, don't do it on US TV. (As I learned last night by watching Arrested Development and not laughing ONCE, or even smiling. Especially since there's *no reason* for its narration or handheld cameras.)

[ November 24, 2003, 07:27 AM: Message edited by: Bill W ]

Just saw on Showtime that now Barry Zito will guest star in an episode of the Chris Isaak show. The previews said the first airing will be thursday at 10. I don't usually watch the show, so I don't know if it's a repeat or a new episode.

Josh

New evidence that Zito is gay (tongue in cheek, folks) . . .

In the current issue of ESPN the Magazine, he's the back page interviewee with Dan Patrick. Several items of note:

1. Gorgeous high leg kick photo of Barry.

2. It's titled "Dan Patrick trades licks with Barry Zito."

3. Barry admits to liking the Carpenters.

4. Asked how often he plays air guitar, he says "like every day. I'm always doing something with my right hand." eek!

In other words, the page is full of delicious innuendo (or in-due-endo, as Troy of Apprentice fame might say).

YUMMY

[ May 28, 2004, 04:50 PM: Message edited by: Skiguy ]

I thought that was in-your-end, oh!

Zito must have one hell of an agent -- he's been everywhere lately. He's the "cover boy" of the Under Armour website

Under his Armour

and appears in TV spots for them. And he was on the godawful new Max Kellerman show, "I, Max" on FOX Sports last week. And I'm not even counting the clever, funny local spots for the A's that we get to see here in the Bay Area.

New evidence that Zito is gay

Er, how about kissing Tim Hudson on the mouth in front of TV cameras during Tuesday night's game against the White Sox? Eric Karros, on Huddy's other side, had a really weird look on his face. Don't know if he wanted to be next or was worried he'd be.
Someone on the A's board reported it as Hudson kissing Karros but it was Zito kissing Hudson. Too bad I didn't have VCR going. I didn't think the game would be THAT interesting.

Someone somewhere must have photos or video. Post links immediately. That's an order! wink

More Zito: article in the current SI. One of those oh-he's-so-wacky-and-Zen pieces (though better than most I've read); some insight into his dating habits too.