Marry: Drew Brees
Kill: Jeremy Shockey
F---: David Thomas

Hot young coaches:

Lane Kiffin
Steve Sarkisian
Urban Meyer

Marry: Lane Kiffin (so I could f**k him everyday.)
Kill: Steve Sarkisian (not cute)
F---: Urban Meyer (just so I could put him in the hospital like the Florida/Alabama game did)

Hot Heisman Contenders:

Ndamukong Suh
Toby Gerhart
Mark Ingram

McCoy-Fawk
Harrell-Kill (cause I don't know him)
Locker-Marry (so god won't strike him down when we're in bed)

Fratguy, you forgot Next Up...Oh, well, allow me!

Domenik Hixon
Miles Austin
Kevin Curtis

Well, I'd kill Domenik only cuz he's a NY Giants, and they're my least favorite team of the three. I'd have to fawk Miles Austin cuz I've enjoyed the energy he shows while running in the Cowboys plays... and I'd marry Kevin Curtis cuz I think I could handle waking up to that every day...

Let's go with John King's earlier suggestions:

Hot Heisman Contenders:

Ndamukong Suh
Toby Gerhart
Mark Ingram

Kill: Ndamukong Suh
Fawk: Mark Ingram
Marry: Toby Gerhart

Bama Players
Greg McElroy
Cory Reamer (If you dont know who he is just look on hunks of college football)
Leigh Tiffin (Do the same for him)

Heres a coaches option
Utah- Kyle Wittingham
Illinois- Ron Zook
Uconn-Randy Edsall

Kill = Randy Edsall
f**k = Ron Zook (he's in great shape... the sex would be hot)
Marry = Kyle Whittingham

Next -- Iowa Hawkeyes

Ricky Stanzi
Pat Angerer
Tyler Sash

This was tough for the "Kill" category! I may have to show mercy!
Kill: Ricky Stanzi


Easy for the "F*ck" category with a caboose like his!
F*ck: Pat Angerer


And it was a no-brainer for the "Marry" category!
Marry: Tyler Sash


Next Up:
Ryan Fitzpatrick
Ben Roethlisberger
Tony Romo

Kill: Fitzpatrick
Fawk: Roethlisberger (to see if he truly is "BIG" Ben)
Marry: Romo



To make it interesting...
Next up: Quarterback/Wide Reciever tandems (...'cause sometimes, one is not enough!)

Aaron Rodgers/Jordy Nelson

Eli Manning/Victor Cruz

Tim Tebow/Eric Decker

There isn't an obvious answer to this one, but I'll give it a shot.

Marry: Tebow/Decker - because Tebow won't give it up until he's married

Fawk: Manning/Cruz

Kill: Rodgers/Nelson - not feeling Rodgers as much... need to shuffle these around

Marry: Tebow/Nelson

Fawk: Cruz/Decker

Kill: Rodgers/Manning

That's better!



Now for some tight ends

Rob Gronkowski

Tony Gonzalez

Jason Witten

Marry: Tony Gonzalez

Fawk: Jason Witten

Kill: Rob Gronkowski


That's better!
Now for sportscasters/analysts

Kirk Herbstreit

Jesse Palmer

Howie Long

M - Kirk Herbstreit
F - Jesse Palmer
K - Howie Long

Ok...gotta love those hot tight ends

Kevin Boss
Aaron Hernandez
Jimmy Graham

Marry: Aaron Hernandez

F^ck: Kevin Boss

K: Jimmy Graham

(In all honesty, I would marry and f^ck Aaron Hernandez. I love a Puerto Rican.)

Let's go with some quarterbacks.

Matthew Stafford
Matt Ryan
Tim Tebow

F - Tim Tebow - I'm convinced that behind closed doors, the bible thumper unleashes a dark side of sexually charged deviant behavior

M - Matt Ryan - he just seems like the marrying kind

K - Matthew Stafford


Andrew Luck
Aaron Murray
Matt Barkley