I should begin by apologizing, because this song has apparently been released since early summer. I only stumbled upon it last night because I couldn't sleep and VH-1 was airing all five "chapters" of this "urban opera." I am fascinated by the song and simultaneously ashamed that I sat through half an hour of it.

My first question is this: Does anyone actually LIKE this song? Was it a hit??

Basically, it was five videos that were all connected over a very weak story line, with each video ending in a supposed surprise. PART ONE: R. Kelly cheated on his woman (wife?) and awakes at the mystery lady's apartment, only to be shoved in the closet as her husband comes home. But, alas, his cell phone rings and he is discovered. PART TWO: Arguing with husband, who is a preacher, and mistress, Kelly waves a gun around but stays to work out the marital dispute. The preacher has a revelation ... calls his gay lover on the cell phone and invites him up as well. Gay lover now joins the heated discussion. PART THREE: More gun waving, everyone mad at everyone else, Kelly vocalizing all of them with a thin and oft-repeated "melody." He calls his house and, lo and behold, a man answers the phone! PART FOUR: An enraged Kelly is driving home (against a cheesy fake backdrop) and is stopped by a cop for speeding. He then drives safely home before finding his wife in the shower, alone, and she explains that he forgot her brother was staying with them. This somehow leads to passionate lovemaking, but - oh no! - Kelly's leg falls asleep and she has to dismount. As he's getting out of bed, he uncovers a condom wrapper beneath the sheets. Dum Dum Dum. PART FIVE: The man who began the whole saga by cheating is enraged, but his girl conveniently knows what he's been up to also; still, he is somehow entitled to be pissed. They fight. He threatens. She breaks down. She has a friend of a friend who knows the gay preacher and his boyfriend who set her up with guy who she had slept with. And, thus, the big bomb is dropped ... she was doing the cop who pulled Kelly over in Part Four! Gasp!

Now, as if all that wasn't bad enough, the lyrics are TERRIBLE. At one point, he sings, "I said No, He said Yes, I said No, He said Yes." Or something like that. I'm talking abyssmal stuff here. It is without a doubt the most egotistical, masturbatory, overblown drivel I have ever been subject to in my entire life.

And the reason I even felt the need to post all this ... other than to feel cleansed and purged of the experience of sitting through parts one through five ... is that apparently, on his next album, R. Kelly will release "Trapped In The Closet, Parts 6-10."


The world is coming to an end.

I've seen parts of the video while dial flipping but I can't say I've seen the whole thing.I've actually seen more of it while watching VH1's Best Week Ever show and The Soup on E!.

Clearly he's going for something artistically, but so were the people behind Ishtar and Cop Rock . This thing is a wreck.

That said, the funniest moment of this year's MTV Video awards was R Kel simultaneously acting out and lip synching part of this song. It was one of the most jaw dropping douche chill moments ever on television.

I am obsessed with it today. I've been reading blogs and reviews and there are people out there who love "Trapped in the Closet" and get pissed off at the haters who are pointing out how abyssmal it is.

One review I read pointed out its basic short comings as a rock/urban opera, just in comparison to something like Tommy or "Bohemian Rhapsody." All five parts of TITC are the same thin melody line ... it never crescendos, never reflects variation in character with anything more than perhaps a pitch change and the lyrics themselves. It's so mediocre. But they love it. The R. Kelly fans cannot accept TITC as ass, blaming the reviewers for hating or for not liking R. Kelly because of his personal reputation/statutory rape allegations, etc.

I'm dumbfounded. And yet I cannot look away. It really is like a wreck!

[ September 21, 2005, 09:14 AM: Message edited by: Gaga4Gaby ]

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman did a hilarious three-part parody of the song on Kimmel's show. The lyrics written by Kimmel/Silverman were ridiculous, stupid, alarmingly bad and pointless all at the same time. That's why it worked... because R. Kelly's song is all of those same things, yet sadly R. Kelly's version wasn't supposed to be tongue-in-cheek.

I can't believe anyone would buy that crap.

I can't believe that R. Kelly still hasn't gone to trial yet on the various charges against him. It's sad that some people are buying into this. I've seen bits and pieces and it was painful to watch and listen to.

I liked it, mainly because he pushed the DL factor out of the closet for the world to see. I mean, how many popular black artists have dared to do something like this?

I give him credit for having the balls to do it. And as far as the story line goes, its better than a porn plot

It may be better than a porn plot, but at least in porn you have, well, the porn. R. Kelly isn't naked and on full display in the video for his song...he saved that for his little girls.

At least one of these "Part 6-10" parts better be a duet with Crazy Frog.

Master P once released an album called Only God Can Judge Me. Judging by the record sales of that album, everyone else was too busy not caring.

LXN

The whole thing was both genius and bonkers. Granted, stretching it out to five parts was preposterous, but that's what made it so funny.

Is the story stupid? Yes. Was his live schizophrenic pantomime at this year's MTV Video Music Awards ludicrous and embarassing? You betcha. But he wins for just repeating a simple motif, and building it...and building it...and building it...AND BUILDING IT. And then doing it all over again four more times.

Pop needs more nutjobs like this. Beats most of the crap that MTV actually plays.

I agree Bball...it was different and I mean you saw the first part so it made you want to watch the other parts to figure out what happened. I mean of course not everyone is gonna like it but I thought it was pretty good and I like the fact that he brought the DL thing out there too. No other black artist wants to touch it. And since so many seem to be talking about it he was successful in getting it much attention. He's still a freak though but I can separate the man from the music he makes, which I usually like.

I hadn't thought about the DL aspect and I can appreciate how that's impressive and important, particularly for the black gay community, to see it represented in such a mainstream forum. I am happy to be able to look at TITC that way and thank you B'Ball for pointing it out ... there is something redeeming about the video after all!

However, I doubt that R. Kelly was looking to make a statement ... I think he was just looking for another shock to add to his supposedly suspenseful story. It's sort of like how everyone makes Larry Flynt out to be a savior of free speech - which he was, in a roundabout way - but the fact of the matter was that he was only in it to make money. It was nothing but commerce. If his magazine didn't sell, he wouldn't have pursued free speech on principle. With that in mind, I doubt R. Kelly used the DL aspect of his story for anything other than shock value.

But this video actually won an MTV Video Award??

[ September 22, 2005, 06:54 AM: Message edited by: Gaga4Gaby ]

I don't think it won anything but he performed at least part of it "live" on stage during the program. It may have been nominated though.

That's a relief. If he won an award, there might be TITC Parts 11-20! wink

[ September 22, 2005, 08:24 AM: Message edited by: Gaga4Gaby ]

he rhymed "baretta" and "dresser" and actually used the lyrics..."cool, climax, now get off my leg" :confused:

Is it any wonder his wife is cheating on him?

The song is irritating. It bothered me that the last chapter of song, the one he premiered on MTV, the guy ends up staying with his wife. Huh? If I was the lover, I would be pissed.

But when your audience is predominately female, you have to appease them.

I was just googling for stories on Fantasia Barrino recently saying she cannot read, and stumbled upon the news/rumors that R. Kelly also has said he cannot read or write. Huh? Anybody else hear about this?

Judging by the lyrics to TITC, I'd agree with R. Kelly that he cannot write ... wink

But, no, I hadn't heard that story.

The strange thing is, R. Kelly has written some really good songs in the past--"When A Woman's Fed Up," "I Believe I Can Fly," and "Keep It On the Down Low" come to mind. That's why I'm so disappointed in this trapped in the closet mess.

I could be mistaken, but I think he revealed his illliteracy in an interview with BET.

If only Dave Chappelle was around to write more witty parodies. What he did with R. Kelly's "Ignition" and the remix was pure genius.

[ October 05, 2005, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: Neptune ]

Just when you thought it was safe to, er, come out of the closet ...

VH-1 is now showing parts 6-8 of TITC. I mercifully missed parts six and seven, but there was a gun battle and some guy named Twan miraculously appeared just in time to be shot for no good reason. But, don't worry. Twan is okay.

Part 8 had us go home to the cop's house, where he is married to a southern gal with quite the twang ... and R. Kelly sings in a high pitched girly voice complete with said twang to illustrate it. It is indescribably painful. She cooked her hubby some food and had an affair all in the same day, but gives herself away as soon as the cop gets home.

That's right. Someone is also trapped in her closet. GASP! It is R. Kelly again. But this time he is not playing the same character as before. Now he is the "Narrator," whose master purpose is sure to be revealed in parts 9-12.

And, in the video, The Narrator is trapped in the closet but smoking a cigar. Because cigars don't stink up a room to high heaven and give away the fact the you've been banging some dude's wife and are trapped in his closet.

It's like a twelve-car pile up and I can't help myself from rubbernecking as each vehicle goes by.

Thanks for the synopsis G4G--That's 5 minutes of my life that I'll get to keep. R. Kelly needs to stop trying to channel his inner Elton-John pop-opera auteur and just stick with writing the good R&B songs he used to make.

Edited to add: Hmm...but if this keeps R. occupied and away from young ladies, maybe his video acting is a good thing?

[ November 03, 2005, 10:38 AM: Message edited by: Neptune ]

The "DL factor", the "DL aspect", the "DL thing"...guess I'm out of the loop on this one...what the hell does "DL" mean?

Welcome to hip-hop soap opera. The DL is "downlow" as I've been "schooled". It is guys who sleep around with guys then go home to a woman.

Soaps are the modern day travelling theatre that eventually became classical stagecraft.

R. Kelly would probably have been right at home during Shakespeare's time. Male sexual dysfunctional behavior is universal and closeted.

You know, when I first beheld TITC and decided I had to start a thread on Outsports to discuss it, I never in my wildest dreams imagined that it would get to a point where Shakespeare and R. Kelly would be referenced in the same sentence!!

Speaking of Shakespeare and rap artists, several summers ago who Eminem was all the news for his homophobia and his new record, we bought the album and just laughed laughed laughed. The language and sexual references were jaw-dropping funny. And I more I listened to it on my drives back and forth, the more like Shakespeare or a Greek tragedy it seemed--what with all the gore, and mothers having sex with their children and then killing them, and bodies in trunks. Of course it only holds up for a few weeks play, then you just can't take it anymore--sorta like the Bard himself--then you just need some AbFab to redeem it all.

I actually really like Eminem. I think he's incredibly talented.

Well, get ready for a whole lot more rubbernecking...he says he's done
22 chapters already:

I used to think R. Kelly was a musical genius with a weird sexual affinity for youngsters (who else does that sound like...). But now I think he's lazy. That damn "Trapped in the Closet" ditty is the same tune with a few of the words changed.

Somehow he's gotten us all interested in this crap. Wait, maybe he really is a genius :confused:

TWENTY TWO ?????? eek!

What a collosal ass. I may talk about it and watch it like a train wreck, but I feel sorry for anyone who's actually paying money for this crap.