I just got the word that He Who Shall Remain Nameless has been signed to a minor league contract with the Red Sox, starting with the single-A Lowell Spinners tomorrow, then joining the AA Portland (ME) Sea Dogs on Friday, with the expectation that he might come to Boston once certain "problem players" (Jeremy Giambi, Rudy Seanez?) have been sent down.

Per Theo, GK "plays all 3 OF positions, an above average runner and arm. Good late-game player as he can pinch hit vs. LHP's and play good defense. Outstanding athlete and has played some 1B in college and minors. He's been following the team and is bringing his 1B mitt with him."

Is he really any better than Jeremy Giambi?

Defensively, sure. As a hitter...well, maybe better than Giambi has been for the Red Sox. Kapler was a decent hitter as a regular in '99 & 2000, and has speed, but his upside potential as an offensive player is less than Jeremy G.'s. I can't believe how poorly Jeremy's hitting this year.

you mean to tell me Gary Kubiak is giving up football coaching to try baseball.

"Not Gary Kubiak" had a very impressive debut at Fenway tonight, hitting 4 for 5 with 3 RBI and receiving a standing O as a welcome from the Fenway Faithful.

Gaby Baby in a Red sox uni -- I can dig it! He was the in-studio guest on the post-game show as well, and gave a thoughtful, articulate interview. <sigh> I'm definitely in lust...

Darn, I guess that porn career will just have to wait. Wait a moment, he'll always have some down time---

I am unfortunately, in yankee territory....the subway series is on 3 channels, but I can't get the sox game. My friend IM'd me a picture of gabe "our new mission" the babe. Oh my god. Hes even a step up from our old boyfriend, shea. His wifey is 3 time zones away....fair game, i'd say...

Another terrific outing for GK today, 3 for 4 with 4 RBI in the last of three against the Marlins. Gee, I guess he's happy to be back in the AL, hunh? Plus, the guy is very fast running the bases. A great first couple of games, let's hope he keeps it up!

Considering that just about everyone hit against the Marlins' pitching this weekend, it may be premature to anoint him the next Ted Williams just yet.

Point taken, Joe. The Red Sox' overall batting avg for the weekend's three-game series was .455 -- pretty good slugging, hunh?

At the risk of crossing the "Kapler line" and relegating this thread to Hot Jock Talk, here's a nice little pic of GK at Fenway the Globe published this morning...



Holy moley, Gabey Babe!!!

In another thread, Pokey Zinger posted:

According to yesterday's Boston Globe , Gabe Kapler is NOT happy in Japan. Says Gabe: Apparently he's batting .156 & been benched. Now he's missin' them Sox:
A message to his American fans:

George_Twinsfan replied:

Yet another reason to hate Gabe Kapler. He refers to himself in the third person.

Does he need anyone to help him wipe those tears???

I like a man who's willing to give his former teammates a hug.

By the way, one of those muscle magazines are trying to keep the Kapler flames alive by running an old photo shoot in a big pullout centerfold. Most of you have probably seen the shots of him working out, but if you want a special pullout, check out this month's Fitness magazine. Sorry, can't recall the title. It's either Men's Fitness or Workout or Gym or something. You'll recognize GK on the cover for sure.

Oh boy, he's back! GK has escaped the hell that was the Yomiuri Giants, and is on his way back to the Red Sox! Yaaaaay!

As of this evening, he's said to have signed with the Red Sox and been placed on the 15-day DL to recuperate from the jet lag.

kind of a happy day for gay guys and straight women, eh rsb? LOL

Waah Hooo!!!!

R

"versatility?"

Don't encourage them canmark.....

Yeah, Gabe got into baseball thru talent, Jeremy got in because he has an older steroid abusing brother who had connections.

I'd be more concerned about an "infecttious disposition."

~Adam

AAAAAAAAAACK!! I can see it now -- more and more and more threads!!

HE was greeted with a rousing standing ovation as HE approached the plate for HIS first at bat tonight against the Twins, HIS first appearance with the Red Sox since Game 7 of last year's World Series. HE answered with a base hit and a run scored.

Welcome back, KAPLER!

I had just seen him play for the Pawsox here Buffalo.....the guy clearly had no business being on the same field with the AAA Guys.(Juan Gonzalez on the other hand....) One night he was 4-4 and had a crack at the cycle and was hitting 600 something or other overall during his stint.

...and there was much rejoicing....

I'm confused: Did "he" return to the Sox at the end of June, or the end of July?

He was signed by the Red Sox on July 15, spent 15 days on the DL, was activated on July 30.

So during the Marlins/Astros game last night, they announced that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Mentioned suffered a "bizarre injury..."

And i immediately thought, "His steroid-enhanced legs exploded."

"....when his Achilles tendon ruptured."

D'oh! It's not a laughing matter, but i didn't let that stop me!

He who shall remain on the DL....

We who shall remain hopeful that **** ****** will not generate new threads while he is on the DL...

But since he is back in Major League Baseball, my main dilemma for next year will be, does He Who Shall Remain Nameless qualify for the 2006 King of the Hardwood tournament?

Oh no, he's back. eek!

He's 4 for 6 in the two games he's played. Got a standing O on his first day back. Even straight people love the G#$%!

Does GK look "smaller"? Has anyone measured his head?

Ok, can someone fill me in on why we have refer to this dude as "the one who remains nameless?" I don't get it.

Because back in the day here, the board was innundated with threads about him. So, most people, to keep the peace, will refer to him as "He Who Must Not Be Named" or by his initials. It's sorta become an unwritten rule around here to not call him by name. Certain people have gotten very upset when his name was mentioned casually in a thread. Silly, I know. Especially when there's a ton of mess that goes down in the politics and religion forum, but whatever.

He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!

Well, maybe. Although he spent last season managing single-A, our favorite underwear model is eyeing a comeback. After all, he is only 32, he claims to be in as good of shape as ever, and the ruptured Achilles has healed 100%. He wants to play for the Red Sox, and he's always been a favorite of ownership, the front office, and his fellow players.

At some point, GK will go back into managing. He stated several times in interviews that he wants to be a major league manager some day, and by all accounts, he did a helluva job in Greenville. Just for the record, while I do find GK to be absolutely delicious, I actually like him more for his character and personality. Contrary to his male bimbo looks, he's probably the brightest baseball player I've ever heard in an interview (well, maybe tied with Pedro Martinez, whom I've only heard interviewed in his 2nd language). And I will forever be grateful to Gabe for his contributions to the 2004 WS Championship team. Even as a bench player, his leadership and strength of character made enormous contributions to that team's success. Whatever he ends up doing, I wish him all the best.

Just as long as Roger dosn't come back...

he claims to be in as good of shape as ever



Pix please...

For all us G*** K***** fans, He Who Shall Not Be Named is blogging the Red Sox' post-season for the Boston globe.