Letterman: "You can already tell it's autumn. People have begun changing their bumper stickers from 'Mets Suck' to 'Jets Suck.'

The Jets are really having a hard time. First they put Vinny Testaverde on the bench. Then they went with Chad Pennington and now he's benched. Next week they are going to try Senator Frank Lautenberg.

Dinner for two in New York City -- $100. Hansom cab ride through Central Park -- $50. Yankee World Series tickets -- worthless.

Whenever two cities in the playoffs of the World Series, they get together and the mayor has a bet with one town ... The Yankees lost, so earlier today Mayor Bloomberg made good on his bet and sent the Mayor of Anaheim a kilo of primo weed.

Last night the Yankees defeated the Angels. Security was very tight. They had a thousand cops and they were just covering the first base coach. ...

In addition to the game between the Yankees and the Angels, it was also Bob Torricelli gift bag night.

It was a little cold up there in Yankee Stadium tonight. Even the shirtless father and son team were wearing windbreakers.

Yesterday Mets Manager Bobby Valentine was fired. I think he was a little bitter, because afterwards he held a press conference to announce that Mike Piazza IS gay."

Craig Kilborn: "New York Knicks star Latrell Spreewell has badly injured his middle finger. Good news though, the injury was not to his choking hand."

Conan: "In a recent interview, rapper Snoop Dogg has said he has decided to stop smoking marijuana. Snoop said he made the decision after seeing what smoking marijuana had done to the Mets"

Leno: "How about them Angels ... George Steinbrener is gone, one dictator down, one to go.

Earlier this evening President Bush made a prime time speech to the nation from Cincinnati. He was in Cincinnati to declare Bengal Stadium a federal disaster area. What are they 0-5?"

Letterman's Top Ten Ways to Make Football Even More Exciting:
10. Both teams wear the same uniform.
9. Replace players' oxygen tanks with laughing gas.
8. Every fan gets one of those referee microphones.
7. Helmets that make comical "booing" sound effect.
6. End-zone dances choreographed by the fabulous Tommy Tune.
5. A day before the game, both teams redecorate each other's locker rooms.
4. Two words: jet packs.
3. Halftime lecture series by Federal Reserve chairman, Alan Greenspan.
2. Lift "no flirting" rule in the huddle.
1. Losing coach has to give John Madden open-mouth kiss.
("Late Show," CBS, 10/14)

If I recall this correctly, the other night Letterman mentioned the Time article about John Walker Lindh, the American Taliban, which included allegations from one man that he and Lindh had sex. They ran a phony correction saying Lindh was not gay, and apologizing to Lindh and his alleged lover--at which point, naturally, the photo of Mike Piazza appeared on screen.

Jon Stewart: "It's that time of year again, with all four major sports in action, October has always been a fan's favorite month. And with killers on the loose, a sagging economy, and a terrorist attack in Bali, there's never been a better time to focus all of your interest in the outside world on athletics".

Leno: The mayors of Anaheim and San Francisco have one of those friendly mayor's bets going for the World Series. If the Giants win, the mayor of Anaheim will pay for a trip downstate to Disneyland. If San Francisco wins, Anaheim gets a complete set of episodes from The Judy Garland Show"

Now this is a fun thread...