As summer turns to fall each year, there are some things that you can always count on. If you enjoy watching television, you know that the new season of sitcoms is about to start. And if you are a Chicago Cubs baseball fan like myself, there is but one constant in the fall months -- the Cubs will not be in the World Series.

Yes that's right, I am a Cubs fan. I am both proud and, well, a little embarrassed to say it. If you are not a Cubs fan, you might ask why I would be embarrassed. Well it certainly is not because I'm the only one. Oh no, there are many of us out there. It's just that we haven't had much to cheer about in the last century or so.

So, only one question can be asked: Does God hate the Chicago Cubs?

“Is it a pleasure for you to oppress?” Job raged at God. “To spurn the work of your hands, and smile on the plan of the wicked? Do you seek guilt in me and search after my sins, even though you know I am not wicked? Also, are you a Yankee fan? Or do you just get your jollies off of watching Yankee fans laugh at me?” OK, I made the last part up.

Legend has it the Cubs' losing ways really began during the 1945 World Series. The story goes that the son of a local pub owner, by the name of Sam Sianis, tried to bring his pet Billy goat into one of the games. The usher of course turned him away, saying that he stunk (the goat that is). In retaliation, Sam placed a curse on the Cubs. He vowed they would never win another World Series, or another World Series game. Of course the Cubs lost the rest of the games in the Series, and ultimately the Series itself. Thus began the Curse of the Billy Goat.

From that very day in 1945, the Curse has held true. The Cubs have not been to another World Series, and this is the 95th year since they have won one (1908). Some Cubs teams have come close, like the '69 and the '84 team; but alas, no World Series appearance. And the drought hasn't been due to a lack of talent. Names like Billy Williams, Ernie Banks, Greg Maddux, Andre Dawson and Ryne Sandberg have all appeared on Cubs rosters through the years, not to mention that of Sosa and Choi nowadays. But for every Maddux or Sosa, the years pass still lacking a Championship ring.

Still, given our history, you really have to wonder whether all these trials and tribulations are part of some larger cosmic plan to keep Cubs fans as miserable as possible. With all the hardships that the Cubs have endured, it’s fair to ask whether some ticked off deity is casting down lightning bolts on us, or whether Divine Intervention is to blame for our misfortunes. Whether God really has it out for the Cubbies, and if so, well, what exactly did we do wrong? What is our great sin? Could it have been the cork that pissed Him off this year?

I have decided to look at the Ten Commandments and see what we have done wrong, to see whether we have truly strayed from the path of the righteous or tread along the ground of the wicked.

1. Thou shall have no other Gods before me.
Sin: Billy Williams, Ernie Banks, Greg Maddux, Andre Dawson, Ryne Sandberg and Sammy Sosa. OK, we’re guilty.

2. Thou shall not make idols or worship brazen images.
Sin: For God’s sake, we have only one Worlds Series title. We have to worship something! We’re awful. So very guilty.

3. Thou shall not take the Lord God’s name in vain.
Sin: Have you ever said any of the following during a Cubs game? “God, we suck.” “God, these umps suck.” “God, Clement sucks.” “God, why does Sammy Sosa look like an All-Star some nights and a clown on others.” “God, I need another beer.” “God, we still suck.” “God dammit!” Unfortunately, you just broke the Third Commandment. Shame on you. Guilty as charged.

4. Thou shall remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
Sin: Like you haven’t blown off church/temple/mosque just to watch a Cubs or another baseball game. Heck, speaking solely as a Catholic, um, we don’t have a game on Sunday afternoon, do we? Damn. Well, it’s not like we had one last Sunday too. Damn. Guilty.

5. Honor thy mother and father.
Sin: Probably the least violated sin among Cubs fans. But I’m sure none of us have a nice thing to say about the Tribune Co., either! Ingrates. We are all so guilty.

6. Thou shall not murder.
Sin: With each loss, a Cubs fan dies of heart-ache! Only good thing I can say is, Thank God we are not the Portland Cubs. (Woo-hoo!) Guilty.

7. Thou shall not commit adultery.
Sin: Is corking included in this? If so, GUILTY!

8. Thou shall not steal.
Sin: See #7 Yep, we’re guilty.

9. Thou shall not give false testimony against thy neighbor.
Sin: See #7 Sorry, guilty.

10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbors’ goods.
Sin: Have you said the following phrases in the past years: I wish we played like [insert favorite team]? Or: Wouldn’t it be great if we had [insert favorite player]? You’re coveting, and in the Baseball Bible sense you just committed sin #10. Hell, I’ve been watching New York Yankee games on the side for almost two months, wishing we got a performance like that of Bernie Williams or Jason Giambi. So guilty. (Oh, and did I mention I was gay too. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But still guilty.)

Ten Commandments, Ten Sins. So you can’t exactly blame God for being a little vengeful. Frankly I’m a little surprised that Wrigley Field isn’t filled with pillars of salt.

God said through Ezechiel, “I will kill their (Cubs) hopes and dreams, and will destroy the remnant of their pride, and I will keep them out of the World Series. And I will execute great vengeance upon them, rebuking them in fury; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them. Also, I plan on popping out one or two ACL joints, just for shits and giggles.”

Is it too late to repent, Cubs fans? Have we strayed too far from the path of righteous baseball? Have our riches and our egos become an unholy outrage to the Creator? Is Wrigley Field a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah? Is it too late to drop to our knees, project a quiet and steady work ethic, admit to all our failures and otherwise beg the forgiveness of the Lord?

Pretty much, we’re screwed. Well, I do have my (Toronto Maple) Leafs. Oh LORD!

See you in Hell.

LOL, great post, Cubbie! We've got you beat by ten whole years, but still, we feel your pain.

But there's no need for you fans to feel guilty and take the Cubs misfortune on yourselves. As we in Boston have learned, you can always take comfort that it's NOT YOUR FAULT. Every year we remind ourselves... It's those m.f. Yankees, and for you it's the damn White Sox!

One World Series total in 120 seasons here. Granted, it happened only 23 years ago...besides, you had all those Bulls titles, so stop complaining.

Seriously--entertaining article. Hey Outsports--it really belongs on the main site as a guest column.

[ July 19, 2003, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: Joe in Philly ]

DISCLAIMER: St. Louis Cardinals fan here, so please assume a jaundiced view of Cubs history.

The primary reason that the Cubs don't win is that there is no demand for it. The fans are so enamored of their cute little ballpark (and it is a gem) -- and so into the history of the Cubs as lovable losers -- that there whole identity is tied up in on-field failure. It seems that until the arrival of Andy McPhail, there was no interest in winning from the faceless Tribune Company ownership that loved watching the turnstiles spin as fans packed into Wrigley to watch yet another 73-89 team. (The potential profits from super-station cable probably changed that view at the Tribune Company.)

The Cubs' problem is that they lose in such a boring way. The Red Sox have their World Series failures, but their tradition is to always lose in the seventh game, of an exciting World Series filled with freaky fluky turns. And even the Cub collapses pale in comparison to the '64 Gene Mauch Phillies. 1969 was really the Mets year of destiny, not a Cubs collapse. And the '73 "collapse" was just a losing streak around the All Star break (albeit punctuated with that classic moment when Ferguson Jenkins threw all the bats out of the dugout and onto the field - still one of my all time favorite sports temper tantrums).

That is the curse of the Cubs. The only franchise cursed by an old goat is the Cincinnati Reds, who still haven't recovered from the Marge Schott years.

And looping back to speaking of the Phillies ...
Well, if you're going to count the Bulls, then you've got the Flyers Stanley Cups and, more on point, the five World Series titles enjoyed by the Philadelphia Athletics since the Cubs last World Series title, in 1908 (1910-11, 1913, 1929-30).

Which leads to a semi-unrelated question that, perhaps, should be answered in a separate thread. For 50 years, 1903 to 1953, five cities had franchises in both the National and American leagues: New York, Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia and St. Louis. All except Chicago had their second (and, in the case of New York, third) move out of town in the 1950's. In each case but one, the historically more successful franchise stayed, and the historically less successful franchise left:
Boston: Red Sox stay; Braves move in 1953.
St. Louis: Cardinals stay; Browns move in 1954.
New York: Yankees stay; Giants and Dodgers move in 1958.

But in Philadelphia, in 1954, the A's move to Kansas City and the Phillies stay in Brotherly Love Country. Why? The A's historically were more successful, although the Phillies had been more recently in a World Series at the time of the move (1950 vs. 1931). Is it that the Phillies just happened to be better, and in an upswing, during the decade of the franchise moves? Did Yankee over-dominance in the AL destroy the second tier AL teams (although the Red Sox stayed in the AL when the NL Braves struck out for Milwaukee)?

Any baseball (or Philadelphia) historians know the answer?

Great posting... However, guys, please just remember that the Yankees don't affect you. Last time I checked, we have been in the American league for the past century. The Cubs cursed themselves in the 30's by getting swept by the Yankees in the World Series. ...and remember losing to the Padres (THE PADRES!) in '84 and the Giants in '89 NLCS was simply inexcusable. Finally, for all of that Chicago heartache, just remember that this Knicks fan has had to endure the wrath of the "non-calls" against Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls. ...and it took the New York Rangers 54 years to win a Stanley Cup, and they barely blew that one against Vancouver. My point is that we all have our curses. I just think the Cubs and Red Sucks fans (and players) have an almost defeatest attitude. They've had the money over the past century just like the Yankees and Dodgers. They just don't know how to spend it. I await Bill W.'s blasting of my take here!

But the Flyers only won twice, and not since 1975. The Bulls won more often and more recently.

In the Phillies yearbook there's a section on the A's since interleague play brought them back this season. It's written by the president of the Philadelphia Athletics Historical Society. It basically states that the Great Depression caused Connie Mack to sell off his stars and run the team on a tight budget, and the A's were almost never again factors in the pennant race. The 1950 Phillies, the Whiz Kids, captured the hearts of the city and the A's could no longer compete economically. It says the Mack family tried but was unable to sell the club to Philadelphia-based groups so they finally sold it to Arnold Johnson, who moved the A's to Kansas City.

Which is why, unless you're very old, the A's successes count for nothing.

[ July 20, 2003, 04:37 PM: Message edited by: Joe in Philly ]