Hey guys--

I am a bit floored right now and a little bit horrified. I ran into my old coach and found out he is gay. I always knew I was, but never suspected he was. He coached me from 6th-8th grade and AAU until 10th and was the Director of the Madison Wildcats Basketball program here in Madison, WI. He taught me everything I know about basketball. Catch the ball, square up, get into triple threat position, follow through, box out, etc. The only thing he didn't teach me about ball is dunking. He also helped me get a scholarship to play high school ball at a catholic boarding school--Holy Name Seminary--in '94. I guess what I am trying to say is he's a great guy. He even went looking for me when I ran away. We caught up and he confessed to me that he's gay and has had legal trouble. A kid in the program accused him of molesting him and he's currently doing like five-years of probation after a little jail time. He made a deal with the D.A. cause he couldn't afford a good attorney. His coaching career is over. The incident happened a couple of years ago while I was gone. I ran away from home when I was sixteen after my school closed down and have only recently been back after eight years.

I just can't believe it. My father passed away when I was two and he's the closest father figure I've had. Playing ball definitely kept me out of trouble. Me and two other guys from the team used to hang out with him all the time from 6th to 10th grade. We even occasionally stayed over at his house. Not once, during the whole time I knew him did he try anything on me or my friends. If he did do it, then he deserves whatever the law gave him. For some reason, I just don't think he did it. Of all the years he's coached, this kid is the only kid who's accused him of anything. I just don't know what to think.

T

Why couldn't the coach find a gay lawyers organization that might at least give him some pro bono advice? Or did he try that?

I asked him the same thing. He hadn't come to terms with the gayness in his anus--I think he's still dealing with it now cause he's really not out to anyone and sort of a hermit--so reaching out for support and resources was not an option at the time. I dunno. I just think it sucks, if he really did not do it and I hope he didn't. Anyways, in the eyes of the law he did it because he copped a deal and plead.

If he didn't do it, that's a very sad story.

I wonder if there's the possibility that he could get a lawyer now and try to reopen the case somehow?

No guarantees, but here's where he should start his search for a local Madison, WI lawyer. Plea bargains are tough to overturn, if consent was knowingly given. Good luck!

tluu, I think it is really difficult to overturn the conviction. What he needs to do is to learn that there is an accepting community that will support him. I can tell you what will make him really happy, get him to the Chicago tournament in april. Just being in the gym with 200 or so gay guys who love basketball as much as you do and as much as he does will help him so much. He will realize he is not alone.

Tluu-

Sounds like you're kind of freaked out about your ex-coach/father figure and his past. He sounds like a great guy that helped you alot as you were growing up, and that's the most important thing to keep in mind as you deal with this.

Have you asked him point-blank if he's guilty of the offense? You don't seem to know for sure what to think, and it might help if he told you what exactly happened, if indeed anything happened at all. I know this is an emotional issue. It'll be up to you to determine if you can trust him, respect him, and support him, but a good start would be to talk to him about what did happen. If nothing truly happened, then I guess you can move on from there, but first I'd make sure you knew the whole story if you intend to be friends with him again. After that, give it some time and hopefully you'll be able to get past this and rebuild some sort of a relationship with him. Good luck.