Hi:
Received this e-mail from Ryan and received his permission to post it. Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks
Jim


Hello!
My name is Ryan and I'm a nordic skier at the University of Utah. I'm looking for ways to make people within our athletic department more aware that gay athletes exist and I'm finding a lot of dead-ends.

I've read a few articles on your website and written to a few of the people mentioned, also looking for ideas. I'm not an activist, and I'm not obvioulsy gay, but I think there are many other athletes here who are gay and are unsure what to do about it. So basically I was wondering if you had any advice or other resources that I could look into or offer to my academic/athletic advisors.

Here's a little about me: I came out to my team and coach just last spring. It was sort of uneventfull, except that it was a huge relief. Not a single person, on the team or otherwise, has had any negative comments! Each person even came up to me after they found out and said they liked me and my being gay wouldn't change anything. I can talk easily to my closer friends on the team about boyfriends, problems I'm having, etc. and it no longer seems like a big deal to anyone.
Anyway, I do not want to take any of this for granted, but I have noticed a problem that I didn't really expect. I've always heard from people that they worry about me coming out because people are not going to agree with my sexuality and I will experience harassment and hate, especially in sport. But no one ever seems to worry that the isolation, silence, and lonliness is forcing gay athletes to not be themselves. I don't know a signle other gay person in the Athletic department here. I'm sure there are other gay athletes competing for Utah and I don't think anyone should come out if they don't want to, but I would like to get the message across that they should not hide their sexuality only because of fear of homophobia. Yes, I think in some sports more than others or on some teams this could be more of a concern, but either way I think it would be helpful for gay athletes to be able to talk among themselves and f! ind the areas that will give them support. I am not an activist and have no real desire to be, but I want to offer support or my experience to other athletes who are unsure about how others will treat them. I think if I had known that another athlete here was gay, I would have come out to him first and that would have helped me deal with the anxiety of coming out to a sports team.
I'm rambling....but, do you have an idea of how to approach this issue within our athletic department? Salt Lake City is probably not the most liberal of places, but my experience tells me there is room for acceptance. I've talked to my academic/athletic advisor, but one of the main problems is that the staff just doesn't know where to start or how to bring sexual orientation up. Thanks for your time! Sorry it was so long.
Sincerely,
Ryan Quinn
Skiing - U of Utah

mailto:rquinn06@hotmail.comrquinn06@hotmail.com

I think Ryan has already made as important a contribution to gay activism as anyone can make simply by being true to himself. He might try getting in touch with other gay organizations a university campuses through the internet. As for being lonely - patience is the best cure. You will find others who share your goals - even in Utah.

We had a very successful panel discussion at Virginia about an issue that is a hot topic...the chanting of "not gay" during the singing of the fight song. (It's archived somewhere here on Outsports.) I know that Harvard also did something, and other schools have had similar panels. I'd suggest organizing a panel of sorts and talking with your LifeSkills/community outreach/student life coordinator in the athletic department to get them to endorse, promote, or simply inform the rest of the student-athletes, coaches, and administration of its taking place. It's a start, and one that is not too "in-your-face."
I can let you, or anyone, know what we did here. Good luck!!

I congratulate you, Ryan, for being brave and honest enough to come out to your teammates and coach. The fact that you want to do more is admirable. Setting an example as an out athlete is the most valuable thing you can give to fellow gay athletes with concerns over coming out.
I would imagine that if other gay athletes have heard about you - one of these days soon you'll be approached and you'll be in the perfect position to help someone...Just living your life in an honest, true way is a very valuable form of activism....don't underestimate what you've already done...Having a gay athlete around, having it become normal and accepted, is a great thing to give to others not yet out...

EXCELLENT REPLY BRYAN! - IF you come out others will come to you when they are ready !

Very thoughtful message, Ryan! (And guys, he's being a little shy in not stating that the University of Utah ski program is one of the best in the country. Always contending for the NCAA championship!)

My advice:

1) Continue to be proud of who you are. You seem to be on the right track with this and WAY ahead of where many of us were at your age. Also realize that there are many of us supporting you, even if it isn't evident.

2) Volunteer or be available to discuss these issues with other athletes or discussion groups (panel discussions in sociology classes, etc.)

3) Getting your message on a website like this a good idea, maybe some guys in similar situations at other schools can offer some real-life experience.

4) From a local perspective... Being gay and out (even if only to close associates at work, etc.) in a state like Utah is really not the big deal that everyone makes it out to be. People are much more open and understaning than we sometimes give them credit for!

[ December 19, 2001: Message edited by: utahman4u ]

I went to the Ute's ski team pages. utahman4u is correct, but he doesn't say that our young Mr. Quinn is fairly accomplished himself in the world of XC skiing, including what appears to be a junior national championship in 2000.

Ute profile for Ryan Quinn

I wrote a very long post, that I completely deleted and started over again several times. The bottom line of it all was simply to ask, will Ryan Quinn be added to the Out Athletes page?

Yes, we will add him. The whole page will be updated within 2 weeks.

Ryan has has a bang-up time on the snow of late.

Huge congratulations to Ryan and I hope he'll update us on whether he's made progress on solving that "loneliness" problem.