I have just posted my review of Billy Bean's new book.


[Thread title edited for clarity. - Outsports moderator]

[ May 18, 2003, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: m1 ]

Jim, That's a really great review of Billy Bean's book, and I plan on reading it as soon as possible. I consider him to be a role model for other gay baseball players who feel like outsiders because of their sexual orientation. Also, I hope that Bean gets back into the Majors one day; if not as a player, perhaps as a coach. We need more openly gay people in MLB to show everybody that we're just like everyone else.

[ April 20, 2003, 11:48 PM: Message edited by: Mike T. ]

Good review, Jim. I can't help but wonder, given his experiences, why Bean's not more encouraging to a potential gay player coming out. True, it might be damaging to the player's career, but living in secrecy the way Bean did, was surely damaging to him personally. That he couldn't tell his team that the death of his lover was a "family tragedy" surely hurt just as much as being called a fag. That he's got his life together now, however, and is an inspiration for others, is very positive.

there was a segment this morning on "Good Morning America" about Billy Bean. Overall GMA did a very gay positive piece. Arguably the most positive part of the segment was the on camera interview of Brad Ausmus. (Schwiiiing!!!) THat boy looks like 10,000 polident commercials rolled into one.

He is more encouraging in the last chapter of the book and says baseball is ready; I think some of the comments from others in baseball have had an impact.

BTW, what did Ausmus say on GMA?

Excerpt:

"His one-year stint with the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1989 brought Bean under the tutelage of manager Tom Lasorda, buddies with politicians and Hollywood celebrities, who happened to have a gay son, Tommy Jr., aka Spunky. Lasorda has always denied his son — who lived a gay life in West Hollywood and died of AIDS — was gay or died from the disease."

- - - - -

This brought back a memory in a very EERIE way.

I was taking an Italian course when I was in college, and a visitor came to the class to introduce the National Italian-American Foundation and their work.

I thought the guy was quite attractive, sort of like Jeff Goldblum...polished, tall, dark - but not too "brooding".

Anyway, I REALLY felt a strong urge to go their annual dinner weekend (always held in Washington, D.C.).

I was on a mission. I didn't know if the rep's demeanor had anything to do with it - I may never know.

- - -

Several people were curious: "You're not Italian...why are you spending money to go to this dinner?"

Well, at the time, I was very much into Italy and Italian-Americans, and I thought it would help my grade/knowledge a bit.

The keynote speaker at the weekend luncheon was Tommy Lasorda, and he made a joke that, to this day, sends a chill up my spine, because I LAUGHED at the top of my lungs at this joke, and (in the entire ballroom where we were having lunch) NO ONE else did.

I mean, people looked at me with trepidation and confusion the rest of the weekend. I was truly terrified...here I am this African-American who can't really explain (satisfactorily) why he is at this annual weekend, alone, where Italian-Americans celebrate each other, and I am having a good time.

Oh, God.

I never forgot the joke (Mr. Lasorda told):

"I was visiting Italy...Abruzzo specifically, because I am from Abruzzo. Now, everyone knows that Italians are partial to the region from which they come.

Well, during my stay, I was told that there was an Abruzzi (adjective) fan that wanted to meet me, but we had already left Abruzzo and gone to another city.

My employee mentioned it, fully prepared for a flat-out rejection; becuase there was no reason that I should have to make special arrangements to meet a fan (that is, the fan should have traveled to see me).

I told him that I would stay where I was, or arrange to return to Abruzzo, if that was what was necessary...because:

I'll walk a mile to shake an Italian's hand, but I'll CRAWL TEN MILES to kiss an Abruzzi's ass!"

Something about that punch line really skewered me and thought EVRYONE ( :confused: ) would know that it was a funny joke.

I was totally SINGULAR in laughing my heart out.

Not one other person in the room laughed.

Oh, my.....

eek!

I intend to buy it as soon as I get my finances on a more even keil..through Outsports of course, unless I can get to the booksigning on Wednesday at Giovanni's.

[ April 22, 2003, 01:35 AM: Message edited by: sportinlife ]

I'd like to purchase it as well.

FYI: I have the Louganis autobiography signed by him, twice (went to two book signings in the same city)!

Hey New York OUTSPORTERS: Billy Bean will be at xl tonight doing a book signing!


Billy Bean @ xl, 357 W 16th St
212-995-1400, billybean.com. 6pm, free
Billy Bean is an out former Major League baseball player, which is enough to make him worth your while even if he wasn't gorgeous (which he is). Yesterday, the book he wrote about his experiences, Going the Other Way, was released nationwide, and today he's appearing at xl lounge to meet and greet his fans and sign copies of the book.

sportinline, bluebird: would either of you like to buy the copy I ordered through Outsports & Amazon (see the thread on Billy's signing in Phila.)? That way I can go to the store tomorrow and get a signed copy...let me know. wink

Uh-oh you blew it Joe. "Misspeleed" my name dude. :mad:

Seriously I was debating whether to weather traffic and parking to go tomorrow at all. Plus I'm trying hard to justify the expense right now.

If I do I could pike up a signed copy for you as well if you want Joy..err Joe.

Sorry...I was rushing to post that before I left work! eek!

I may be there tomorrow...if I am, I may buy a copy there to have Billy autograph it. If so, then I'd have two books, which is why I was hoping someone might be interested in buying the one I'm getting from Amazon. And I found the Billy Bean autographed baseball I got from the National Coming Out Day event here (it was in 2000) and am willing to throw that in along with the book.

Sounds like a good book! It IS @ Borders and Barnes & Noble, right??

Allen

I have the book now and have read most of it. It's good reading. Very touching story about his relationship with Sam and it really reflects his regrets that he had to keep his love behind closed doors. We all can relate to that emotion in some reguards.
I knew Billy from Spring training in Arizona and wish that we could have talked more on this subject when we went for dinners. Both being on the inside were scared to broach the subject even though we did talk about his relationship with his wife. Not long after that he and Sam got a home together in San Diego. I wonder some times what my advice would have been at the time since we were both in a similar situation.

just out of curiousity -- how is Bean's book selling nationally? does anyone know?

Just checked the link to Amazon.com. It says "Amazon.com sales rank: 164" That sounds pretty good. On BarnesandNoble.com it was sales rank: 797.

Wahhoooo!! Just got confirmation that my copy has been shipped, should get it by Tuesday.

[ May 02, 2003, 12:08 PM: Message edited by: rickinto ]

I finished the book last night. I liked it. Billy is able to get across just how much baseball was part of him and his life. He showed just how all consuming the life of a boy, teen , young adult can become when he attempts and in this case, makes the big leagues.

On the surface, one may think Billy is not being encouraging for a player to come out. But, I think, it's not so much not encouraging, but rather making people and more importantly, that player who is contemplating coming out; the reality of coming out while a pro baseball player. I think all he is saying is to any pro jock is to think hard and realize what you are doing by coming out while playing.

Some say, all that is irrelevant. I say, it's us and our opinions that's irrelevant. It's what that young man has to do, endure, and scarafice that is relevant and it will be our support that will be relevant when he does come out.

It's true, Bill shows in the book the enormous price he paid for being in the closet. But he also shows how his awareness of his sexuality came slowly and with tremendous struggle. He was 22, newly married, in the big leagues and on top, becoming aware he's gay... he's lucky he didn't go off the deep end. So, I think all can give the guy a break and understand that Mr. Bean did what he thought was best with the emotional resources & support he had available to him at the time. Could I've done any better... probably not.

I"m glad he's doing well now and have reestablished his friendships with what seem to be true friends of his. Can you imagine having Brad Ausmus and Trevor Hoffman as your buddies
weeeeeeeee

Ok, Ok...I know, there're just buddies....

I wish Bill and Efrain well.

Billy, if you ever get to San Antonio for a book signing or anything, let me know, I'd be most eager to meet you and shake you hand. I'd give you 10 to 1, if you open an upscale mexican restrauant in San Antonio, it would be a HIT in no time. Course in trade for this marvelous tip, I would get lifetime free meals...lol.

P.S.... Bring Brad along,(he's just down the road in Houston, you know... ) oh, and Kent and Javy (you know which Javy I'm talking about, don't you.)

Ok....OK..I"m just having fun now.... :cool:

Just a thought...

[ May 04, 2003, 09:47 AM: Message edited by: satxbuddy1 ]

Enjoyed Billy's book. Not sure it's all real -the part about how Sam and Billy met in the Shower at Gold's gym seemed to be embellished by the Sports writer. Nobody introduces themselves by grabbing somebody's unit in a public place? I also thought the Glossary at the end of the end was condescending. Oh please define for me What a hit and run is? But just image the pressures of .247 hitter concentrating on a 90 Mph fastball when all those hot men are homophobic and around you- one wrong glance one gesture and you're labeled. For Billy to set the Major pinch hitting record is cool and still have 2nd thoughts in his head. Wouldn't it nice if a couple of guys followed his lead? So he's isn't refered to as "The Gay former Baseball player"? Fans in Seattle took a poll on the Sports Radio Station KJR- were asked would they rather have a Nellie-type guy hit .285, or a closeted starter hit .250 and they overwhelming choose the Self Outed Nellie who batted better. Things are changing slowly.

Still hoping Billy gets to Seattle on his book tour. He's in Portland May 8th- maybe Brady Anderson would show at Powell's (Bookstore signing). Brady's has been reasigned to Portland Beavers. How about it Brady? A photo shoot Brady and Billy together? ohhlala.........

Brady is a hottie

[ May 04, 2003, 02:44 PM: Message edited by: Eastsidewa ]

Why would he lie about how he met Sam? And if he wanted to lie, wouldn't he lie in the opposite direction? For example, "We noticed each other at a restaurant. We kept exchanging glances. When my wife went to the ladies' room and he walked over to my table, shook my hand and said he thought I was attractive and wanted to get to know me better..." Sounds a lot less tawdry. I'd say he was being exceedingly honest.

As for the baseball glossary, I'd say it's for the readers who don't know anything about baseball. I don't see it as condescending at all.

I didn't say that Billy lied..I said the writer embellished (for the sake of better copy). If you re-read Billy's Advocate story 18 months ago or viewed the Jim Rome interview -nothing was said of this meeting in the shower stall at all. It was clearly mentioned that Billy and Sam exchanged "stares" in the locker room. I would gladly point the onus on Chris Bull. Quoting from the book page 128-129 Billy mentions he gazed at the handsome stranger (notice he said "stranger" no name yet)...He walked into my shower stall (stall-Billy showering with another male in Public Gym?) " (he)reached down and grabbed hold of me below the waist. Talk about taking matters into your own hands." Grabbing somebody's Johnson in a shower stall at Gold Gym's is not common -it wasn't a Bath House. And I doubt that Billy's been to a Bath House. Come on man, it's the writer and they're trying to sell books.

As for the glossary-did you look at it? "Trade-Exchange of players" "Chalk-White substance used to demaricate the foul lines that radiate from home plate to the outfield fence" Doesn't sound like Billy's words? Chris Bull also provides definitions for "Little League" and "World Series" condescending is a nice word I could have used others. Looks like the Chris Bull is being paid by the page... Don't get me wrong. I like the book... but I do doubt some of it. wink

[ May 05, 2003, 08:34 AM: Message edited by: Eastsidewa ]

He has a very nice, firm handshake and he looks you right in the eye, too. I shook his hand twice Friday night at his booksigning here in San Francisco. He's quite well-spoken, exceedingly sincere without being all pious, and, OK, I'll wade in the Pool of Shallowness, a total babe.

We could use a lot more like him.

(Damn, I meant to ask him if he'd seen "Take Me Out" and what he thought of it. Should you read this, BB, let me know!)

I haven't started the book yet, so I can't speak fully on it, but I don't see this as an embellishment just because previous articles/interviews didn't give the full details. And as far as activity in a Gold's Gym as compared to a bathhouse, well, from some of the other threads around here it seems that such activity goes on all over the place.

As far as the glossary is concerned, again, many people will read this who know nothing about baseball or sports and simply aren't going to understand these terms, as simple as they may seem to most of us here. I find a glossary preferable to stopping the story to put in a definition, as in "I hit a line drive to left, it hit the chalk (this is a white substance used to demarcate the foul lines that radiate from home plate to the outfield fence) and bounced into the corner..."

I read this book in 2 days...it helps that I travel on the subway, can catch up on a lot of reading on the Transit system.

All I have to say is, Billy if you are reading this:

"Thanks. I enjoyed the brief look into your life and I hope that things continue to go well for you."

A new BB fan.

Let us know your comments- after you read the book... I stand on my comments if anybody needs a glossary definition for "Little League", "World Series" or "ESPN" then they're in the wrong section at Barnes and Noble.

Okay, but not everybody who reads this book is going to be a sports person, nor live in America. Terms such as "ESPN" and "Little League" are part of the American sports world, but may not be part of another countries sports vocabulary. wink

Little League? Country Tournaments this year in
Poland, Phillipines, US, Mexico, Nicaragua, oh and Lethbridge Alberta. Little League Country Tournament schedules.

amd didn't the Blue Jays win back to back?
Blue Jays PostSeason stats

Come on man!. Just read the book and think before you comment. wink

Why are we getting hung up on a glossary? I didn't even bother to read it since it wasn't important to the rest of the story. If you're a sports fan, ignore it; if not, it may provide some value.

I did read it.

Yes, Little league is in a lot of countries, and probably so is ESPN, but not every person who reads this book, will have heard or watched "ESPN" or played watched or heard of "Little League."

Yes Toronto did win back to back WS, I did play in little league, but I don't get ESPN with my cable package. ;D

I say if the glossary helps one person, than it has served its purpose....

[ May 05, 2003, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: rickinto ]

In another thread, RobertEFS posted:

I joined ref. Billy Bean and Jim replyed "Nice thoughts. Feel free to post them. Well here is what I sent to B.Bean:
I think billy Bean did the right thing. I think this "OUT OF THE CLOSET THING" is more hype than anything else. I am in the closed and plan to stay there. Perhaps on day I can open that damn door like B.Bean did. Living the lie is a struggle for me because I am an UP FRONT kind of guy #21 yrs. of age.
Since I plan on a political career "COMING OUT" would hinder my advancement in law and politics. So we are stuck with the situation of living the lie and not being our true selves in public. Hence I commend B.Bean for his decision to keep his career in tact (one has to eat and pay bills). I hope he will be able to succeed with his career some place in sports. I should be so lucky to play as well as he does.
Thank you for the opportunity to say a few words here.
Good work...guys. Thanks again, Robert


sportinlife replied:

Welcome to the Board and good luck with your career RobertEFS - what ever it is. Though you don't wish to come out, I hope that, should your career in politics be successful, your votes will help both those who have or have not come out, and that part of being in the closet will not mean voting against our interests in order to hide your sexuality.

[ May 06, 2003, 10:16 PM: Message edited by: m1 ]

In another thread, balidog posted:

This was on the front page of today's (May 5th) sports page of the San Francisco Chronicle. web page

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c...05/SP273152.DTL

I went to his book signing on Sat. in Oakland and enjoyed his talk and meeting him. He's a smaller man than I thought he would be but has a beautiful smile and heart.

He signed our book "To Gary and Frank - Hope the Giants win it all this year" Billy

Gotta love it!

Frank

My first post here....

[ May 06, 2003, 10:16 PM: Message edited by: m1 ]

There's a quote early in the book that really sums up Billy Bean's story: "It would take years for me to figure out that athletic stardom doesn't really make reality easier, only easier to ignore." He's talking about himself, but he just as well could be talking about the general willingness in the sports world to believe that athletes aren't gay and gays don't deserve a place on the field.

The story he tells of those years seems honest and heartfelt. I especially loved the chapters about his relationship with Sam. The tone of this segment of the book felt different from the rest: Billy's love for Sam enlivens every sentence. I could easily imagine his joy at hitting that dinger and then running the bases with Sam looking on. Bean probably had a good reason, but I was disappointed that he chose not to include a picture of Sam in the photo section.

I enjoyed Bean's tales of the gritty reality of competing for a place in baseball. He shows us the players from an insider's perspective, and some of it's none too flattering. I don't want to give away too much of the story; I will just say that Bean's book details the kind of escapades that Whitey Ford left out of his autobiography, "Slick."

The story held my interest throughout, although the storytelling often is flawed. I think the book would have been better if it started with Billy in the majors, and then backtracked to fill in the relevant details from his past. Eric Anderson effectively used a version of this technique in "Trailblazing." Starting "when I was a boy..." is just too slow for my taste.

The other major problem was the constant expression of regret. I don't doubt the honesty of these sentiments, but when they appear repeatedly chapter after chapter they make irritating reading. In this regard, the book reminded me of Greg Louganis' autobiography. These sentiments could have been shaped and presented more creatively for the reader.

Maybe it's not fair to expect a sports autobiography to be written well, but then again... at $23.95, why not?

(As for the Glossary of Baseball Slang, I had to chuckle that BlueBoy magazine pops up between "Big Red Machine" and "box score." Is that what the rookies are reading on the bench these days?)

I just finished reading Billy Bean's book. The sports glossary at the end did not bother me - I did not read it. I found it to be both entertaining and emotional and could connect with his thoughts with leading a double life. With the exception of baseball, there were certain thoughts or experiences that I could have written. After losing my own partner suddenly, I also decided to live more honestly. It is a releif and comfort to now have people in my life that know the complete me. It is amazing at how good of a liar I had become! I don't know if reading Bean's book before would have helped me to live life more honestly because I was convinced it was the only way to live. Hopefully some kid will read his book and see what life can be like both in and out of the closet. It is hard to let family and friends get really close and love you when you are hiding and making up stories. It is also hard for them to be there for you when you really need them.

Good point. For many of the years I was in the closet, I thought I had to be. I didn't know I had a choice. And the only "out" people I saw fit the "first two rows of the pride parade" stereotypes (so I couldn't relate to them, even though I now respect their willingness to take the risks they did). Anyway, young people need to know they have options.

Read the book last week on vacation. At times I thought I was reading about my life. I had a similar self realization experience, transition, loss of a lover (in my case very sudden) and a coming out experience that was basically an outing. Also, a pretty happy ending.

Agree with the review - not great prose but a solid effort by a very courageous person. With regard to the suggestion that there was some fabrication -- don't you think he could have come up with something a bit more juicy if he was going to fictionalize parts of his story?

Checked the "sales rank" again, and BB's book is #233 on Amazon.com and #344 on BarnesandNoble.com. (#2,282 on Amazon.ca)

Interested buyers should follow the link from Outsports to Amazon.com (the Amazon.com listing for the book has a link back to Outsports).

The book is averaging 4.5 stars on 9 customer reviews on Amazon.com.

[ May 07, 2003, 07:10 AM: Message edited by: canmark ]

I want to wish Billy Bean a happy birthday today. I just read about his discovery that he was a "love child". As one of two love children in my family (I'm also the oldest of six, the last four arrived after my parents married) I can identify with his feelings when he found out. So far my favorite parts of the book are the "Winter" he spent in Venezuela - it brought memories of the DR flooding back for me, especially when he mentioned Felipe Alou; and the time he spent with the Dodgers - not all happy but all very interesting. Love the book so far.

A friend of mine pointed out that Billy Bean's Website is now online, BillyBean.com... wink (Thanks Joey.)

[ May 12, 2003, 05:17 PM: Message edited by: redsoxbreath ]

I finished the book on Friday, only a few days after starting it. For me, when a book is really good I want to finish reading it immediately, rather than reading a few pages a day and so on. I got through this book very quickly--so it's really good.

In another thread, bucman posted:

I read Billy Beans book on Saturday. It was thoroughly enjoyable. You can understand why he wanted gay men to remain closeted in the MLB after reading his book. After one can imagine being in the minor and majors for such a long period of time, you can relate why he wanted to be recognized for his performance on the field, and not in the bedroom.

It was also really interesting to read his incidents here in Albuquerque. I wish I lived here in Albuquerque when he walked in the Ranch.

Billy-a true gentleman.

I just finished reading the book - not a masterpiece - but well crafted, and solid - bean was convincing and his narrative struck a definate chord...

This one goes in my book case...

Last night I went to see Billy Bean at a book signing in Atlanta. Because of work, I arrived a few minutes late and stood in the back of the bookstore as there was standing room only; that was such a nice surprise. I got there in time to hear him read segments from his book "Going the Other Way", talk about some things that are current today and personal to him, and then there was a question and answer period. Being that I was in the back of the room, I could not hear the questions but his answers were very nice and he was well spoken. Once he brought attention to two elderly men sitting near the front- they have been together for 52 years! He said they are the heros we need to admire. (imagine what it was like to be gay and living with your lover in the 50's) The last question must have been about people that he knew that have been removed from baseball because they were gay. Billy mentioned there was no one for sure, but there was a trainer from NC State who was there one spring training and was gone the next year. He had heard some rumblings in the locker room about the "softness" of the trainer. That trainer was me. For a second, I didn't even comprehend. When I did, I was both elated and a bit upset. I was elated because he remembered details about me from 10 years ago, and upset because I didn't know the true reasons for me to have the troubles I did with the Padres' organization. The story is long one and now has a new twist. Those of you who think of me as an activist have just started to see what's coming.
Any how, Billy and I had a nice chat and he was shocked to see that I was actulally there after referencing me. He'll be back in Atlanta next weekend and I'll get the chance to meet Efrain. I can't wait!

Wow...wade, you're practically a celebrity! wink I'm sure we'd all like to hear more about what happened to you back then.

Very interesting. I'm a bit confused about a lot of your post but also look forward to learning more about "the troubles" you had.

Same here --

According to Billy's web site he is out of the restaraunt business? :confused: eek!

It's true. It's explained in the book. It had something to do with starting up at another location which had much higher rent, and having a different kind of menu than people in the area generally go for, so even with putting in long hours it wasn't doing as well as they hoped, so they decided to shut it down.

[ May 19, 2003, 09:35 AM: Message edited by: Joe in Philly ]

And I wanted to go to it and meet Billy ! I guess I'll have to catch a book signing.

Happens all the time. Jim McMahon's bar/restaurant just closed, despite being a scaled-down replica of the old Chicago Stadium (for which the sports bar previously on the site was torn down). Jordan and Rodman's restaurants tanked, and at least one of Ditka's did.

Actually, all kinds of eateries (and businesses in general) fail, but sports stars, present or past, often overestimate the market value of their names in the restaurant biz. Not knocking Bean at all, just saying he's got plenty of company.

[ May 23, 2003, 05:57 PM: Message edited by: danimal ]

I really don't blame Bean for not encouraging more gay ballplayers to come out. I don't think professional team sports, no matter how open-minded we like to think of ourselves and society, will ever accept an openly gay male athlete. I'm even going so far as to say that even if it was a superstar player, it would ruin him, period. I think the public would rather see him as a rape suspect, a thief, a gambler, or an alcoholic. At least for being a rape suspect, as long as the victims were women, the public would turn a blind eye. I don't mean to sound so negative but it's the simple truth. We, as gay men, have to work with straight men to varying degrees. Straight men, on the other hand, don't necessarily have to work with us. I applaud Bean for his courage but he mentioned in his book that he feels he wasn't through with baseball. Just from my perspective, it almost seemed as if he regretted coming out. Just my opinion.