Cyd, that was a nice article you did on Dwight Slater's experience coming out at Stanford. It's sad that in a ostensibly progressive academic environment he felt so isolated and somewhat betrayed by his coaches and teammates. It just demonstrates how much remains to be done for gays to gain acceptance in the sports world. Were your experiences at Stanford similar?

It's unfortunate Mr. Slater had such a rough expereince "coming out" at Stanford. I do think that the way he allowed himself to come out probably contributed to his experience. Mr. Slater choose to come out during a situation that he had no control over. He kinda just "threw it out there" and then dealt with the reactions.

I think if Mr. Slater could have talked it out wiht another gay person, perferablly with another gay jock ( I know probably was not possible), he might had chosen a different manner to come out.
He could have still choosen to tell his coach but also had enough resloved to tell him, how he wanted to proceed. Coming out for a jock in such an enviroment as the Stanford football team probably would require a great reslove, a focus vision, and a strong belief inself to get though the process.

Just my thought.

I too was saddened that Slater didn't have a better experience coming out. I wish his football coach had the experience in dealing with young gay men before so that he would have known not to push the kid to do something he wasn't ready to do yet.

What it made me recall was that hellish Catch 22 of knowing what you (ultimately) needed to do without (yet) having to courage to do. I certainly remember the huuuuge difference I felt in acknowledging to myself that I was gay and my ability to acknowledge to my friends, family and world at large that I was gay.

It seems that Slater got caught in exactly that dilemma. He knew that he was gay. He knew that he needed the lying to stop. And at the same time, he wasn't ready yet to disclose to one and all.

As a first step, Slater ended up telling someone he thought he could trust -- Willingham, his coach. That didn't work out because his coach didn't know how to handle it. And Slater suffered for it. Family problems. No more playing football with Stanford.

But in the end, Cyd's article makes me hopeful. Slater's coming out issues are behind him. He's going to graduate from one of the nation's premier institutions with his head in the right place and a great future in front of him. Cyd certainly paints him out to be well-rounded and well-adjusted.

While I'm sorry he didn't get the appropriate support from his straight coaches, Slater seems as if he's put it all together for a successful future. I wish him only the best.

We all take different paths to get to where we no longer feel the shame and can live proudly. And yet, we all end up in pretty much the same place.

that was one of the most depressing and negative articles I have ever read. what was the point? i'm sorry but i'd rather read about someone who overcame the odds, and became a winner, than somebody who never played and then quit.

I'm glad that you ran this article, because it once again underlines the issues that so many young LGBT people face, especially when they are athletes. (And how RARE to read about a Black gay man dealing with this too!) I think Coach Willingham did not handle the coming-out revelation well at all, though he probably thought he was doing the right thing, which is scary. But just imagine how so many other coaches would have reacted--some violently, I guess. Just think of fanatics like the former coach of Colorado, who was one of those Promise Keepers.... Slater, however, has gone on with his life and is doing well, and I'm glad that he'll be graduating from Stanford mostly whole, together and now open about his sexuality. I'm proud of him and his courage! It's unfortunate, however, that he had to sacrifice his playing career to do this.