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Outsports Clubhouse: Membership For Gay Sports Fans And Athletes
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Making It in a Man's World
 By Chris Morgan
Special to Outsports.com
I believe that many successful athletes have a real strong underlying reason that drives their ambitions. I believe my sexuality is no accident, as it gives me the psychological tools to succeed.
This article describes some of the ways that my sexuality has helped me over the last five years in Powerlifting and some of my views on Homophobia in sport. You will see that I?m totally unapologetic about my sexuality. I have deliberately set out to gain respect from my peers through performance and have never hidden the fact that I?m gay.
For example, I?ve always made my connection with Gay Games crystal clear; they?re my foundations and fill me with passion. I?ve always introduced partners and relationships as such with them attending competitions on a regular basis. People were bound to a little wary at first, but these days it?s not unusual for my ?straight? lifting mates to ask in-depth questions about gay culture. Conversations about Fetish Clubs, Hanky Codes, Mardi Gras and which of them is the most attractive to other men, have become commonplace in and out of the weight room.
Early Days
In January 1998, I was approached by a man who changed my life forever. I was Squatting and Deadlifting for fun, at a gay gym in Central London (Soho Athletic Club) and had caught the eye of gay, weightlifting coach Jim Atkinson.
He politely questioned my lifestyle of the time; clubbing, taking drugs and my career as a professional party athlete. He suggested that I take a look at Gay Games and the Powerlifting Competition to take place in Amsterdam later that year. He suggested that my raw strength could be channelled and used productively.
After 5 years of hard labor, pain, tears, ripped hands, bruised shoulders and shins. I have him to thank for challenging me back in ?98, and setting me on the unique journey that I?m now experiencing.
I?m at present under the wing of Britain?s finest strength coach, Keith Morgan (No relation), and owe a huge debt to both these men for the commitment and energy they both give me. I can?t thank them enough.
Powerlifting
Powerlifting is a three-discipline sport with your overall total made up of weight lifted in Squat, Bench Press and Deadlift. You compete in weight and age categories, therefore a sport for all shapes, sizes and ages. Once the lifting is complete the strongest man overall is determined via a formula called ?Wilkes?.
My achievements to date rank me No.7 in Britain and No.1 in London. I?m a champion at Divisional level in Britain and a coach to the British Bench press team at European and World Championships 2001 and 2002.
I won ?Gold? at the Sydney Gay Games in the 75-kilo class, with the largest Squat and Deadlift on percentage to bodyweight in the competition (Wilks Formula). My personal record lifts, as of the end 2002, are Squat 212.5 kilo, Bench Press 112.5 kilo and Deadlift 242.5 kilo.
Many of the very top lifters in the world are between the age of 35 and 45. It takes that long to build the strength necessary to succeed. When many athletes in other sports are finishing their careers between the ages of 30-35, at 29 the party will be just starting for me.
Rage
In order to lift heavy weight in front of an audience of people, there?s a need to reach a mental state that connects with the subconscious. The moment I think about the size of the weight that I?m about to lift, I?ll fail. Controlled and focused rage is the name of the game.
Specific examples of Homophobia in sport flick my switch. It?s no good if they?re general policy issues. The case example has to be directed at an individual and have a direct bearing on their career. I cannot bear to see wasted talent, and a young gay athlete not meeting his or her full potential builds a fierce RAGE within me.
The most graphic example I can think of is Justin Fashanu, a young man who on the 2nd May 1998 in Shoreditch, East London took his own life by hanging. He was the first Black soccer player in the UK to fetch a price tag of one million pounds ($1,500,000). Yet, just a couple of months later his club manager was shouting to the press how useless he was at his job.
The fact that he had decided to come out as gay had nothing to do with his manager?s attitude of course. Justin spent the rest of his career unsupported and hounded by the media from clubs and country.
He returned to the UK from the US after being accused of sexually assaulting a ?straight? teenager, who just happened to be drunk and in his bed, even though this charge was never proceeded with. Justin found the pain of his sexuality, religious beliefs and exclusion from his family too much to bear.
No gay athlete operating at first class sport has dared to come out in the UK since.
I dedicate my Gold medal at World Gay Games Sydney to the memory of Justin Fashanu, a young man 20 years ahead of his time.
Recognition
I believe that recognition is everything for gay athletes. It is vital that governing bodies and federations acknowledge the existence of openly gay athletes. I?m very proud of the fact that the British Weight Lifter?s Association sent me an email of support endorsing and acknowledging me for World Gay Games.
The only way that recognition is attained is through earning respect. In my experience the way to earning the respect of your sport is through performance. Many of you will be questioning my view already and think I?m only referring to elite performance and comparing this to the ethics that support Gay Games of participation.
I add a further line in my own mind to the statement of Inclusion, Participation and Pursuit of Personal Best. ?Whatever your level maybe?, takes account of elite and recreational sports people and recognises that both exist in the gay community.
My point is that by participating and taking a sport seriously, gay people earn the respect of other people within their sport. My experience in Powerlifting is nothing but positive. I had to start somewhere and I found that the size of weight that I was lifting was not important to the people around me.
The fact that I was willing to take the sport seriously and participate in a meaningful way was enough to trigger the process of acceptance. Any openly gay person who is feeling worried about taking up a sport, should find their participation level and aim to do their best!
Sledging
I?ve found many case examples of gay slurs being used by first-class sports people, to unsettle an opponent. This whole concept gives me an advantage over my straight counterparts. If they see being gay as the lowest common denominator, and the weakest link, then surely there is not a single slur that one of my opponents can use to undermine me.
In August 2001 Hasim Rahman, accused Lennox Lewis of ?acting gay? Rahman picked up on Lennox?s ?special? relationship with his mother (stereotypical of gay men?), as a way of attempting to undermine his opponent.
I look at this whole concept from another angle and see my sexuality as an advantage when competing. The fact that I?m totally at ease with being a ?fully paid up member of the club? puts me in the driving seat.
I suppose they could accuse me of being straight, and see if that works! I figure the sight of a gay-boy ripping 240 kilos off the floor is a little mind altering for my direct competitors.
Future
There is such a long way to go before all gay athletes are accepted and allowed to perform without the fear of discrimination. As long as homophobia exists within sport, I have fuel for fire, the rage will burn, weights will get heavier and the titles will follow.
Photo by Dave Murphy / Outsports
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