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6.30.2006
Aussie, Aussie, Oy Vey: When Jim B. and Cyd jetted off to Sydney in 2002 for the Gay Games, I had the grave misfortune of being responsible for
reading the piles of e-mail that Outsports gets each day. Amid the "increase your dick size" spam, helpful tips that a link was broken and suggestions about
stories were a subset of e-mails that I call "Sports Illustrated Amnesia". These often stunningly angry missives accused Outsports of all sorts of heinous
crimes against the gay community, the main one being that the sports content was used to mask the real intent of Outsports: being a porno website. I gave up
replying "Um, SI's swimsuit issue, hello?" after the third or fourth such tirade.
I was reminded of this when I read a story about an Australia-based
website called Gayfooty.com. Gayfooty.com is for the gay fan of AFL (i.e. Aussie rules football) and a quick tour shows a lively, fun site despite a questionable color (colour?) scheme. The site recently made the news when the AFL Players Association (ALFPA) sent a letter to the website adminstrator asking that all pictures of the players in the locker room and showers be removed. Regular visitors to this site know that Jim B. and Cyd were embroiled in a lawsuit over photos on the site.
The AFLPA's insistence that they would have done the same thing if the website was called "Sheilas Drooling Over Pictures of Footy Players In The Shower" is risible on the face of it and from this comment from the Melbourne paper The Age's website comments section, others aren't buying that either: "It is Ok for AFL players to pose for the annual "beefcake" calendar but those same photos can't be used on a gay site. It is a matter of privacy the Players Association say but obviously those players weren't worried about privacy when they posed for the photos. It is only an issue of privacy if gay men want to see the photos but it is ok if straight woman want to see the photos. Interesting concept of privacy!".
Apart from that apparent hypocrisy is the idea, also put forth by the plaintiff in the Outsports lawsuit, that the mere presence of a person's photo on a gay-related website is defamatory and insulting and makes them the object of ridicule and scorn. I've never seen it adequately explained how a website that 99.99% of the straight world (and a very large percentage of the GLBT one as well) doesn't even know exists is causing emotional trauma by posting publicly available pictures. It's hilarious to see how, out of curiosity after reading about such flaps, people will go to the site to check out the pictures, thus.....wait for it....possibly making them the object of ridicule etc. because they pointed the website out.
In an amusing sidenote, in The Age's article about this, it seems that in 1993 rugby league player Andrew Ettinghausen successfully sued the magazine HQ after they published a picture that showed a bit of his willy. It was his reasoning that cracked me up: "Ettinghausen claimed that the photograph exposed his penis and held him up to public ridicule and contempt". Um, dude, depends: if you're hung like Jim Thome, it wouldn't be ridicule and contempt that people would be expressing, I assure you. If you're not, well, maybe you had a point. --Jim Allen
6.29.2006
A day of records and runs: Funny how things like this add up at the same time. There were a bunch records and streaks that were set or were kept alive on Wednesday. Here's a sampling:
NBA Draft - The University of Connecticut tied the record for most players drafted in the first round with four: Rudy Gay went to Houston at 8; center Hilton Armstrong was picked by New Orleans at 12; and Marcus Williams and Josh Boone both went to the New Jersey Nets with the 22nd and 23rd picks. A fifth former Husky went to Seattle with the 40th pick. The fivesome was knocked out of the NCAA tournament by upstart George Mason in the Elite Eight; not a single Patriot was drafted.
MLB - The Pittsburgh Pirates officially suck. Not only could Barry Bonds still be hitting home runs for them, but they are still in a record losing streak - 13 games as of Wednesday night - that is the longest in franchise history. They're now over halfway to tying the MLB record for straight losses (23); and assuming they post a losing record this season, they'll be just three seasons short of tying the MLB record for consecutive losing seasons. A girl can hope!
Tennis - Roger Federer extended his record-breaking string of consecutive wins on grass to 43 with a spanking of Tim Henman, 6-4, 6-0, 6-2, in front of the Brit's home crowd. Henman has been a Wimbledon semifinalist four times; always the flowergirl, never the bride. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.28.2006
Insight into the genius of Ozzie Guillen and John Rocker: A couple big names in the Ozzie Guillen "faggot" story have offered their thoughts in the last couple of days, painting a worse picture about homophobia in baseball than I certainly would have painted.
John Rocker, who started the parade of homophobic comments in the press in late 1999, called the sensitivity training that Ozzie Guillen has been ordered by Major League Baseball to take a "farce," saying he never sat through his sensitivity training that MLB ordered him to take.
"The guy told me when I got there I had to show up to make it look good for people, so after about 15 minutes I left and walked right out of the room and it satisfied the powers that be," Rocker told the Chicago Tribune. This was after Guillen told a Spanish-speaking media outlet that he didn't intend to engage in the sensitivity training, before he back-tracked faster than Lance Armstrong denying his use of performance-enhacing drugs.
Afterelton.com posted an interview they did with with Greg Couch, the Chicago Sun-Times columnist who originally exposed Guillen's "faggot" comment and called on MLB commissioner Bud Selig to take action against Guillen.
Asked what he thought about Guillen's attitudes toward gay people, Couch said: "He doesn't hate them. I think he just thinks of gays as not being men. So that's how he insults Mariotti. People have emailed me and said, 'Come on, fag doesn't mean gays, it means not brave or courageous.' I mean, it's unbelievable."
Asked if baseball was more homophobic than other sports, Couch said: I don't think baseball is more homophobic than football. I don't know. I think in sports in general you find more homophobia."
The dumbest comment was not surprisingly from Rocker. I hear this argument way too much from people who are simply not informed about the First Amendment:
"This is a free country. If he wants to use a lewd term, he should be able to use a lewd term," Rocker told the Chicago Tribune. "Can't you use a lewd term in America if you want?"
Yes, you can. You can use any lewd term you want. And the First Amendment protects you from punishment by the government for using a lewd term. But, the private sector is another issue. If your employer wants to fire you for using a term like that, they can. Major League Baseball is well within its rights ordering Rocker and Guillen to sensitivity training; and the public is well within in rights to criticize the homophobic comments by baseball players and skewer the players for it.
A "real man" would be able to take that criticism, not act like a little whiner stomping his feet and saying, "I'm not doing this training." Say what you want just be ready to take your punishment. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.26.2006
Four favorites advance: Half of the quarterfinal teams are set in the World Cup; and, unfortunately, there are no surprises. Germany, Argentina, England and Portugal all continued their winning ways this weekend as none have lost a game during this World Cup. That will, of course, change in the quarterfinals when two of these teams are sent packing -Cyd Zeigler jr.
I want to smack somebody: As I've said, I've really been enjoying this World Cup. Though, watching the games on Saturday really made me want to smack some of these guys. First, the flops have got to stop. These guys are supposed to be some of the fittest, strongest, most athletic men in the world. And they go flying across the field when the shoe laces of an opposing player hit them in the let. It just undermines their credibility as athletes and eliminates any possibility of a career in acting after their soccer-playing days are over.
Also, the celebrations are just too lame and too long. At least NFL wide receiver Chad Johnson, as with many other football players, puts some creativity into what he does after he scores a touchdown. These guys just running around, grabbing the number on their jersey, just looks so lame. Plus, the extent of these celebrations really has opened my eyes to why the NFL is so adamant about curtailing the celebrations after touchdowns. Running around and carrying on for 30 seconds smacks of amateur hour.
Finally, enough of the fake injuries. Getting knocked over, then rolling around on the ground like your leg just got cut off, which causes the game to stop for two minutes, then suddenly jumping up and finding the strength to go on ? again, amateur hour.
Despite this lame nonsense, it has been an enjoyable World Cup, and I'll keep tuning in. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
Lance in hot water: It's getting to the point now where you start wondering how apropos the old saying is: "Where there's smoke, there's fire." Lance Armstrong is being accused of telling a doctor in 1996 that he had taken performance-enhancing drugs; and now former cyclist Greg LeMond has testified that Armstrong threatened him for discussing the possibility of Armstrong using performance-enhancing drugs.
"He threatened my wife, my business, my life," LeMond said. "His biggest threat consisted of saying he would find 10 people to testify that I took EPO. Of course, he didn't find a single one."
We don't know what Armstrong did or didn't do. Few people do. But, this accusation from LeMond paints Armstrong as a bit of a hard-headed bully. We'll see where it ends up. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.24.2006
Round of 16 set: The two weeks of group play at the World Cup came to an end Friday with the final three teams booking passage to the next round. France finally played like a semblance of their 1998 Cup winning team in beating Togo 2-0, while Switzerland won the group with a 2-0 win over disappointing South Korea. In the other group action of consequence, Ukraine squeaked in to the Round of 16 with a controversial 1-0 win over Tunisia. The full bracket of matches can be seen here.
Referee Rumbles: Yesterday Cyd said: "I keep hearing, "They just hate the U.S.." -- people
saying the U.S. got bad call after bad call in their last two games. Any truth to it?" Yes, the U.S. isn't well liked so it's no surprise that they put up with animosity that is better directed at the Bush administration. But let's get a broader perspective. Example: Many Europeans feel hostility against blacks because of undocumented aliens from Africa. A white European referee might push penalties against the four new African teams. And in fact there have been controversial calls against the Africans. In addition to two questionable calls against the U.S., there are uproars about penalties during France v. Korea and Argentina v. Serbia/Montenegro. The Czechs blame their loss to Italy on a penalty call. A little more perspective: FIFA demands that the refs crack down on elbowing, diving, shirt-grabbing and such. Let's face it -- the U.S. outcry about penalties borders on sore losing. U.S. team manager Bruce Arena isn't going to court over the Ghana call, though he said he was disappointed. The gist of his post-game remarks: let's go home and learn how to play better football. --Patricia Nell Warren
More rumbling: I was going to write last Friday about how good the refereeing in the World Cup had been. In the space of a week, that's not viable. Bearing in mind that I can't stand whining about officials winning/losing games (see: all the Angels fans who whined about the call on Josh Paul in last year's playoffs), some of the calls have been....dodgy. In the United States' game against Italy, I thought each of the three red cards handed out were deserved. The penalty call on Oguchi Onyewu against Ghana, not so much. Graham Poll of England melted down in the Croatia v. Australia match, giving one player three yellow cards. Of course, two are enough to be sent off. Poll was being mooted to ref the final in Berlin but no way now.
For quotes that exhibit a level of cluelessness that mere humans are thought to not be able to attain, it'd be hard to beat United States defender Jimmy Conrad's "I think we showed that we can compete with any team in the world, on European soil or anywhere. We?ve gotten to the point in U.S. soccer where it comes down to one or two plays, and we didn?t make that one or two plays".
The mind reels at the obliviousness of Conrad; the United States took a step *backwards* from their showing in 2002 and all they showed the world is that they're good athletes without anyone that can play even close to the level of the best Europeans or South Americans. Landon Donovan was supposed to provide the creativity but he showed why he bombed in the German Bundesliga on two separate tries: he was anonymous for most of the three matches and in the game against Ghana, he had a wide open lane towards the goal off of a corner kick but eschewed that golden opportunity to instead pass the ball, at which point the undoubtedly grateful Ghanian defenders broke up the play. If Landon Donovan is one of the United States' elite players it shows a) how lame the MSL really is, no more than the second level of leagues in England, Spain, Germany and Italy and b) how much work is left to be done to be consistently good when it matters, not just against Barbados. --Jim Allen
6.23.2006
Guillen fined: The whole "White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen called someone a fag" episode bores me intensely. I mean, the whole thing is as predictable as the sun rising each morning: a chucklehead says something stupid, there's a media circus surrounding it, people clutch their pearls in varying degrees, said chucklehead issues a non-apology apology and the world keeps turning. Yawn. This case is a little different, however, in that baseball commissioner Bud "Beelzebud" Selig actually fined Guillen an undisclosed amount of money and ordered him to take a sensitivity training class or two or seven or twenty. Like *that's* going to help the maroon. --Jim Allen
Bye Bye American Pie. As TV cameras panned across the crowd, you could see it in the sad faces of thousands of U.S. fans. The U.S. just lost to Ghana, 2-1, and was eliminated from the World Cup.
Ghana are a first-timer at the World Cup. Yet, despite a hard fight by the Americans, the Africans nailed us, and emerged as a dark horse for the finals.
I feel for our team, who played their hearts out. But I think it's going to be many years yet before the U.S. reaches the FIFA finals. What's missing in the U.S. isn't money, training, experience, sponsorship, programs -- U.S. soccer is already getting those things. What's missing is a collective consciousness thing. It comes from masses of supporters, rich and poor alike, who project attitude onto their teams.
To put it another way, the real contenders at the World Cup are countries where "futbol" is their national sport. I don't know whether soccer will ever have a shot at U.S. national sport. But as long as millions of Americans keep saying that soccer is a sissy sport, our team will face an uphill fight in the "beautiful game." -Patricia Nell Warren
Unlike Patricia, I'm not sorry to see the United States go in the slightest. This particular team were frauds from the get-go: FIFA ranking the United States fifth in their last pre-tournament
rankings was a farce worthy of Joe Orton. The United States plays in a very weak region, CONCACAF, and was relying on waaaaay over the hill Claudio Reyna to provide playmaking ability. True, the Yanks have very good athletes but precious few creative players. They scored a grand total of two goals in the tournament and one of those was an own goal by Italy. If it wasn't for the superb Kasey Keller, they'd have been embarrassed even more than they were.
Futbol will always be a niche sport in the United States and that's cool. It's pretty hopeless when the appalling NASCAR is so popular and I gave up trying to convert people long ago. The U.S. has some good young players, but they count on people like Landon Donovan who promptly disappears for all three games. Back to the drawing board. Congratulations to Ghana and to Australia, whose thrilling 2-2 draw with Croatia saw them through to the Round of 16. --Jim Allen
6.22.2006
Guillen shows us three sides of the non-apology: White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, who on Tuesday called Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti a "fag," is just the latest in a long list of athletes who have issued the patented "non-apology" for an insensitive comment. By deflecting blame or not addressing the real issue, athletes for years have managed to somehow appease people by offering a post-screw-up statement that kind of sounds like an apology but isn't.
Guillen has treated us to several laughable non-apologies with this one incident.
"I shouldn't have mentioned the name that was mentioned, but I'm not going to back off of Jay," ESPN reported Guillen said on Wednesday, as he used another profanity to describe Mariotti. "The word I used, I should have used something different. A lot of people's feelings were hurt and I didn't mean it that way."
Why is this a non-apology? Because he didn't apologize. In this particular statement, Guillen doesn't say he's sorry at all: He simply acknowledges the fact that he said something stupid and that he shouldn't have. Though, he did use restraint in not saying the word again, but instead referred to it as "the word." Maybe he is making progress!
In another statement, Guillen offered the tried-and-true non-apology: "If I hurt anybody with what I called [Mariotti], I apologize." This is the classic. He doesn't think he did anything wrong: he just thinks people are misinterpreting what he said. And to them he offers a very hollow apology.
We also have Guillen trying to explain to us that he couldn't have said something homophobic because he's just like a gay person: he listens to Madonna and goes to WNBA games. This might be the crowning glory of his apologies because this one makes his comment even worse. Not only is he insensitive, but he also buys into gay stereotypes, assuming that if he listens to Madonna and goes to WNBA he is, essentially, gay. If that's the case, Guillen is gayer than I because I stopped listening to Madonna when she somehow got a British accent and I've never been to a WNBA game.
Heck, maybe I'm onto something. Guillen loves to kiss his players on the lips and pat them on the ass. I bet he owns the whole Liza collection, too!
The fact is, Guillen isn't sorry. He's a brash loudmouth who doesn't care whom he offends. He's a bit tiresome and very full of himself, and I'd love to see MLB commissioner Bud Selig give Guillen a few days off to learn to think before he opens his mouth. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.21.2006
Heat come all the way back: After losing the first two games of the NBA championship series, the Miami Heat came roaring back, capping off their improbable series comeback Tuesday night by claiming the NBA title, 95-92. It was the Heat's first win in Dallas this season in five tries.
Now will come all the talk of who needs whom more: Kobe or Shaq. Since Shaquille O'Neal left the Los Angeles Lakers, he has helped lead his team to the Eastern Conference Finals and an NBA championship, while Kobe Bryant has looked like a league MVP but has failed to lead the Lakers past the first round of the playoffs.
What was good to see, regardless, was whiner Mark Cuban lose. The Dallas Mavericks owner was fined $250,000 by the NBA for openly complaining about the officiating in Game 5. Here's the thing. The officiating in basketball sucks because the officials are forced to make too many calls. There's no way someone can get them all right. So, if you own an NBA team, you've got to just take the good with the bad. Cuban is a spoiled little brat who may bring some needed attention to his team, but who acts more like a third-grader who doesn't get his way than a multimillionaire-owner of an NBA franchise. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
Ugly Politics: Tomorrow it's Iran v. Angola. The Iranian team has been struggling with controversy at the World Cup.
It started before the first round of matches, with protests over the announced plan by Iran's president Ahmadinejad to visit his country's team while they were in Germany. German authorities insisted they couldn't stop him from doing this. Newsday published a passionate editorial by Iranian refugee Hassan Nayeb-Agha, today an American sociologist. Back in the 1980s Hassan was once a member of that Iranian soccer team, and played at the World Cup. He denounced Ahmadinejad fiercely, offering Americans a little Iranian Sport History 101 as he explained:
"The Iranian national team represents the Iranian people, and this regime has no claim to them. Actually many Iranian sportsmen, including former members of the Iranian national soccer team, are among the 120,000 who have been executed for supporting the Iranian resistance and its aspiration to establish democracy and human rights. Many of the murdered sportsmen were my friends for years, including Habib Khabiri, who was the captain of Iran's national soccer team and was executed in 1984 for supporting the People's Mojahedin Organization of Iran, the principal Iranian resistance movement and a member organization of the opposition coalition of the National Council of Resistance of Iran."
Meanwhile, in Iraq in May, the coach and two players of the Iraqi tennis team were dragged out and shot...because they were wearing shorts. In every country where ultraconservative clericalism now has the upper hand, both male and female athletes struggle with growing puritanism, which also requires women to compete while fully covered and veiled, or forbid them from competing in sports if men are nearby. -Patricia Nell Warren
6.20.2006
Carolina wins the Stanley Cup? It just doesn't sound right, but the best team in hockey resides in Raleigh, N.C. And after watching Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals Monday night, I think it can be said most assuredly. The Carolina Hurricanes dominated the Edmonton Oilers, winning the game, 3-1.
What might have been most surprising about the game was the same thing that was most surprising to me this past season: the reaction of the fans. Who knew that there was an arena-full of hockey fans in North Carolina? And after missing last season over a money dispute, I figured the fans would turn their back on the NHL the way baseball fans turned their backs on their sport 10 years ago. Instead, the RBC Center was rocking on Monday night, just as NHL arenas have been doing all season.
The championship is the first major professional team championship in either North Carolina or South Carolina history. The two states have enjoyed some big NCAA basketball championships, but this is the first time either state, which had no professional team until the Charlotte Hornets showed up on the scene in 1988, has won a professional title.
It also means that the states of Florida and North Carolina have won the last two Stanley Cups, while New York hasn't won one in over 10 years, Massachusetts in over 30 years, and Illinois in over 40 years. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.19.2006
U.S. Open, Day 4: I love sports for the actual games themselves, but I've always been fascinated by the psychology of winning/losing and how that's covered in the media. About three years ago, the storyline about Phil Mickelson was "best current player never to win a major" and "chokes on the back nine on the last day". Three majors wins in two years put an end to the first bit, but after Sunday's final round of the U.S. Open at Winged Foot in New York, the latter is going to stay in circulation for a while.
Everything was set up for Phil Mickelson to win on Sunday: no Tiger Woods, a wilting field behind him (Colin Montgomerie and Kenneth Ferrie among others) and a two stroke lead with four holes to go. In a collapse that will be talked about for years, Mickelson totally botched the 18th hole, allowing goreous Australian Geoff Ogilvy to win the title while watching a television in the clubhouse.
I admire Phil Mickelson's aggressive, don't-play-it-safe style of play, but it just killed him on Sunday. Needing to make par to win the title, he hit a hideous shot off the tee at 18 that landed by the corporate hospitality tents. Conventional wisdom would dictate "hit a safe shot on to the fairway, then go for the green with the third shot". Mickelson tried to hit the green instead and he hit it.... in to a tree, an advance of 25 yards. It actually got worse from there: he hit his third shot in a bunker and that, pretty much, was that.
Phil was left saying, simply, "I just can't believe I did that, I'm such an idiot."
All in all, it was an exciting final round, with about six players in contention up until the final four holes. Geoff Ogilvy won $1.225 million for his troubles, and while he played very well and made the shots he needed to, the 2006 U.S. Open will long be remembered for Phil Mickelson melting down on the 18th hole. --Jim Allen
African Soccer: Of the five African teams at the FIFA World Cup, four are newcomers -- Angola, Ghana, Ivory Coast and Togo. The sole veteran is Tunisia. Football is just getting up a head of steam across most of Africa -- Togo was the lowest-ranking team to qualify for the Cup.
Right now many African nations have a lot on their minds besides sport. A few, like Sudan and Zimbabwe, are going into horrible meltdown. Others, like the 37 member nations of AGOA (the U.S.'s African Growth and Opportunity Act of 2000) hope to increase their trade with the U.S. Meanwhile member nations of Africa's own New Partnership for African Development (NEPAD) are looking to work together on good government, food security, water quality, sustainable agriculture, better education and infrastructure and an end to pandemic disease. Sport is not very high on the agenda of life-and-death issues. But African nations that have sent so many medalists to the Olympics will surely also dominate in world football once they really get going.
Yesterday Ghana's Black Stars stunned everybody by stomping the Czech Republic 2-0. My fave Univision broadcasters, Bruno Vain and Enrique Borja, were hyperventilating by the time Ghana's Muntari sent that second goal into the net. Ghana's excellent keeper, Kingston, made some great saves to round off a great performance.
According to a BBC news report, celebrating in Ghana was not as riotous as one might expect. But maybe that was because most of Ghana's football fans are in Germany right now! Ghanians are dreaming big, saying they hope for their first World Cup win. Meanwhile the Black Stars will play the U.S. next, on Thursday. That will be a must-see match as Group E (Italy, Czech Republic, Ghana and United States) is wide open. --Patricia Nell Warren
6.18.2006
World Cup Wonders: Like many Americans, I've been watching the World Cup on Univision and other Spanish-language channels on Dish, because the broadcasters are so irresistibly over the top. Teams like Pablo Ramirez-Jesus Bracamontes, Jorge Perez-Jose Luis Chilavert, and Bruno Vain-Enrique Borja have honed sports broadcasting to a high art.
English-speakers get used to that laid-back English blather. Okay, I admit that the guys who call horse races do get a little worked up as the horses churn down to the finish line. But baseball broadcasters border on monotone, even during a World Series. As for the golf guys at the mike, they sound like the dormouse who dozed off at the Mad Tea Party.
So the passionate Spanish patter at a FIFA match is on a whole different plane. Part of the fun, with Spanish, is that you can stick all kinds of superlatives on the ends of words to get yourself more explosive. These guys could levitate your neighborhood vacant-lot match. But the World Cup is always their finest hour. The 2-1 outcome of yesterday's match between Netherlands and Ivory Coast was pretty predictable, but the KLVSN guys made it sound like a nail-biter.
As for the real nail-biter of the day before, the Germany-Poland thriller, the KLVSN team were having a collective heart attack as the Germans maneuvered grimly, minute after long minute, trying to crack the Poles' good defense. Every time the Polish keeper made one of those incredible saves, the broadcasters were doing verbal somersaults in the air. When the Germans finally scored the first and only balazo of the match, the guys at the mike carried that traditional scream of "Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool" to new heights.
Their passion reflects an economic reality -- the World Cup's incredible box-office clout. The Birmingham Post quotes a telling statistic from Maverick, a sports marketing company based in London. The Maverick marketing director points out: "When the U.S. hosted the World Cup in 1994,the tournament is estimated to have contributed an estimated $623 million to the economy of the Los Angeles area, home to just a handful of matches, including the final. By the same measurement, the Super Bowl, held in L.A .earlier in the year, contributed $182 million." The Madison Capital Times adds that Univision already made a $150 million profit on what they paid to broadcast the 2006 World Cup. Caramba!
Gotta go...It's Portugal-Iran, and the Portuguese just scored another goooooool.
--Patricia Nell Warren
6.17.2006
U.S. Open, Day 2: It had to happen sometime and on Friday, it did. "It" being Tiger Woods missing the cut in a major golf tournament. Two days of very poor play did Woods in and his rounds of 76-76 weren't enough to continue playing on Saturday. It's been a rough two months for Woods, with his dad dying of cancer and an self-imposed layoff from tournaments. The rust in his game was obvious but he dismissed talk that his dad's death was a major factor. "When you don't execute, you're not going to be happy either way. I don't care if you had what transpired in my life of recent or not. Poor execution is never going to feel very good".
Other notables going home included 2005 U.S. Open champion Michael Campbell, alleged Big Five player Davis Love III and the gorgeous Sergio Garcia. At the other end of the leaderboard, David Duval was given press simply by not sucking. His second round 68 on Friday put him in contention, something that has been rare in the last five years for one my big lust objects. At one point, Duval was the media anointed Big Rival To Tiger Woods (current title holder: Phil Mickleson) but for reasons I can't figure out --a bad back maybe?-- he dropped out of the elite. Now that I've praised him, expect him to shoot an 83 on Saturday.
Thursday's leader Colin Montergomerie fell a shot behind to journeyman Steve Stricker, with Mickelson still very much in the hunt at four shots back in a crowded top of the leaderboard. Again, the course at Winged Foot drew a lot of complaints, the major one being the rock hard greens that made putting a challenge. This quote from Canada's Stephen Ames was typical: "Oh no, you mean I have to play this thing again? I'm serious, I really don't particularly want to play here again". Aaaahhh, poor baby! Still lots of golf etc. etc. etc.
Awesome Argentina: In one of the most comprehensive thrashings I've ever seen dished out in any sport, Argentina had jaws on the ground on Friday at the World Cup. Their stylish, flawlessly played 6-0 dismantling of a hapless Serbia & Montenegro had pundits reaching for their thesaureses, searching for new ways to write "Awesome". The other big match of the day saw Netherlands beat Ivory Coast (really Cote d'Ivoire) 2-1 in a terrific match in Stuttgart.
A friend of ours hopped on the Cote d'Ivoire bandwagon before the tournament and it was a good choice. Although they've lost both matches by 2-1 scores, the Elephants have played exciting, attacking football and acquitted themselves well in their first trip to the World Cup. Argentina and the Netherlands both advance to the Round of 16 and it sets up a great match next Wednesday, when the two teams meet in Frankfurt. It won't be a "let's not get hurt" match, as the winner (or in the case of a tie, Argentina, because of goal difference) will get the top seed in the group. So far, the World Cup has been very enjoyable and I can't wait to spend the weekend on my couch, switching between football and golf. --Jim Allen
6.16.2006
U.S. Open, Day 1: You've probably seen those commercials for the PGA, where the tagline is "These guys are good". It always cracks me up when a major tournament rolls around and those same players moan about the course chosen to host said major being tough to play.
Winged Foot in Mamaroneck, New York was the target following the first round of the U.S. Open. The rough was too high, the greens too hard, blah blah blah. However, after only one player shot under par on Thursday, maybe they have a point. Colin Montgomerie is one under for the lead but at least he's a realist, saying "My God, we've only walked seven miles. There's a long way to go".
Most of the press leading up to the first round centered, as usual, on Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods. Now that he's actually won some majors, Mickelson is a press favorite and why not? He shot even par and is tied for second with a gaggle of players. Woods was playing his first tournament since The Masters due to the death of his beloved father and it showed: he had a miserable round of six over par. After the first three holes, he was already three over par and ultimately only had two under-par holes all day. Bad news for Tiger fans: of his ten majors wins, only one came when he shot over par in the fist round. Still, he's only seven shots back with three days to go and as Montgomerie noted, there's a long way to go.
Poor Poland: My digital recorder has been amazing this week, as the first round of matches in the football World Cup have come and gone. I've been recording all the matches each day while at work and then, using the double-speed feature, zipping through each 90 minute + match in about 40 minutes when I get home. One I watched at regular speed was the amazing match between Germany and Poland on Wednesday. Poland has never beaten Germany (0-10-4 going in) and with the obvious history between the two countries, emotions were high in Dortmund.
After their horrible showing in their first match against Ecuador, a 2-0 loss, things didn't look good for Poland. However, for 75 minutes, they held the fort against a German side that featured two Polish-born strikers, hottie Miroslav Klose and somewhat hot Lukas Podolski. In the 75th minute, the wheels started to come off: a stupid foul by Radoslaw Sobolewski netted him his second yellow card and ejection. For the next 14 minutes Germany swarmed the Polish net but 'keeper Artur Boruc was playing out of his head and kept the game scoreless.
The Germans must have thought they were cursed when, in the dying seconds of regular time, Klose and Michael Ballack both hit the post in quick succession. At that point, it seemed that Poland would get a well deserved draw. Then, in one of the great endings, the Polish defense fell asleep about a minute in to extra time, David Odonkor whipped in a great cross from the right and sub Oliver Neuville ran towards the goal uncontested. He didn't miss as he slotted in the ball for a 1-0 Germany win. The crowd went absolutely berserk, except for the Polish supporters, many of whom were shown openly weeping in the obligatory "show losing team's fans" shots. Gripping, vital stuff from Dortmund.
None of the other matches have had anywhere near that level of passion or thrills, but there's been some great stuff from Spain, Holland and the Czech Republic. One of the best matches has been Tunisia v. Saudi Arabia, an absorbing 2-2 tie that saw some appalling defending that Poland later duplicated. England have played like utter rubbish but have two wins and a ticket to the Round of 16 to show for it. Brazil looked a bit out of sorts in their first match, with Ronaldo in particular looking fat, bored and waaaaaay past it. They still have a wealth of talent, but will need to do much better than their 1-0 win over Croatia. There's still lots o' football to be played and my DVR is ready. --Jim Allen
6.15.2006
The samba boys of soccer: Tuesday I watched the first World Cup matches on my Spanish-language channel just to stick it to the English-language media establishment. Like Jim Allen, I have my money on Brazil, but I'll also be cheering for Spain.
I first fell for soccer while living in Spain in the 1960s. My main residence was in Santander, home of El Racing, one of Spain's top soccer teams. The Racing had an old rivalry with the Real Madrid, so I got to scream my lungs out for my very own home team. It was a great way to get to know this great sport -- live, with the chants and songs roaring in your ears, the smell of bruised grass and sweat in your nostrils. I.e. the senselessly emotional and demographically biased route, as against the more intellectualized route that some Americans take, that "soccer is more artistic and global than football."
There is nothing like the experience of being in a huge soccer stadium in a soccer-mad foreign country. You know you're immersed in a vast human powder keg, with no hope of escape if things explode. When things go bad at a soccer game, there's nothing as ugly in the sports world, with players running for their lives, and riot police beating up on everybody in sight. But in those days the Spanish police state simply didn't allow riots at soccer games. So everybody was politically well behaved, even after a few beers. The main danger was to the ear drums, with the singing and cowbell ringing at full force. You can imagine how bonkers the Spanish went when their national team won the European soccer championship in 1964. I know...I was watching it on the tele in a Santander bar, and the couple hundred patrons in the place managed to sound like a crowd of 100,000.
Times have changed. There are no more fascist police at Spanish soccer games. El Racing de Santander has its web page on Yahoo. !Ole el Racing!
Spiegel has a good analysis on the Spanish team's chances: "The Spaniards are playing their eighth consecutive World Cup finals. As always, they are viewed as potential winners - despite never having made it past the quarterfinals before. The bonuses being offered by the Spanish football federation testify to the increasing sense of desperation. Every member of the squad stands to receive ?570,000 if it brings home the coveted trophy - more than any other nation has promised its players. While Real Madrid and Barcelona have ranked among the world's best clubs for decades, the national team regularly falls short in its exploits abroad."
If Spain happens to wind up playing Brazil, I'll feel very torn. My money will be on the samba boys, but my heart's with the flamenco boys. --Patricia Nell Warren
6.14.2006
JJ in jail for DWI: Good things come to those who wait. For those of us who can't stand Duke, can't stand the City of Durham because Duke is in it, and have a secret hope that every Duke athlete somehow gains 100 pounds between the end of their season and any draft they may participate in, the news flash today was too good to be true. Everybody's most recent favorite Duke athlete to hate, J. J. Redick, was arrested Tuesday morning for drunken driving, unlawful use of highways, and making an illegal U-turn. This is the best thing that has happened since we got to watch Redick crying on the hardwood when his team got upset in the NCAA tournament.
Seriously, couldn't the guy have just called a cab? I mean, if those Duke lacrosse players could afford a cab, surely a future first-round NBA draft pick could afford one. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
The Heat show some stuff: The Dallas Mavericks were up by 13 with just over six minutes to go. They could taste the NBA Championship, as no team has ever come back down 3-0 in the NBA playoffs. And then Dwayne Wade took over the game. The Miami Heat kept their hopes alive, pulling out a two-point win when Wade tipped away an inbound lob with one second left, preserving their incredible 98-96 come-from-behind win.
It's the kind of win that will either ignite the Heat to a series victory or will piss the Mavericks off and they will vow to not play another game in Dallas this season. Either way, after two solid Dallas wins, this game has ignited the series and I'm actually looking forward to seeing the rest of it. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
Nearing the end of round 1: We're almost at the end of the first round of the World Cup, and we don't know a heck of a lot we didn't know before it all began. Trinidad and Tobago are the up-and-coming superpowers of soccer. Iran is the most popular team in the tournament, with the United States a close second. Brazil is afraid of their impending match against Australia. And France and Switzerland might as well just be the same country. I just can't wait for that Tunisia-Saudi Arabia game! -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.13.2006
Is "Big Ben" the dumbest jock ever? We have a brand-spanking new candidate for "Dumbest Athlete in the History of the World," and this one may be our new frontrunner. Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger broke his jaw and nose in a motorcycle accident Monday morning; and oh yeah, he wasn't wearing a helmet. You see, the quarterback who wears a helmet every day of his life from July to January doesn't like to wear a helmet.
Roethlisberger was on his motorcycle headed for an intersection when he was hit by a Chrysler New Yorker driven by a 62-year-old woman. No word yet if the woman is a Colts fan.
It's one thing for Roethlisberger to like to ride around on a motorcycle; but it's not like every professional athlete hasn't had enough warnings about the kind of risk they're taking every time they get on a bike. Reports say that Steelers coach Bill Cowher has lectured Roethlisberger about riding his motorcycle, especially without a helmet. Last year, Cleveland Brown Kellen Winslow, Jr., missed the whole season thanks to a stupid bike trick. The New York Jets saw cornerback Jamie Henderson miss the 2004 season thanks to a motorcycle accident; he hasn't played in the NFL since. In 2003, Chicago Bulls guard Jason Williams crashed his motorcycle into a telephone pole and hasn't played in the NBA since.
It's not yet known what Roethlisberger's short- or long-term health will look like. But I bet the Steelers add a "no stupid human tricks" clause to his contract. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
A champ in Capri pants: I gotta say, I can't stand looking at Rafael Nadal. Forget the fact that he's now a two-time French Open champ. Forget that the No. 1 player in the world can't beat him. He looks like a monkey dressed like a circuit twink. The cut-off tees are bad enough; he has to jump around and make a fool of himself in those Capri pants. At least the height of the clay-court season is now behind us; since Nadal can't win more than a couple matches on anything but clay, we won't have to see much of the fashion disaster in the coming weeks. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.12.2006
World Cup actually relatively fun. Sort of. Before Friday, I expected to completely ignore the World Cup, opting instead to watch paint dry, my rose bush grow, and Little League baseball. But on Friday afternoon I was walking near Herald Square in New York City and saw a few hundred people looking up into the sky. Only, they weren't looking into the sky, they were glued to the Germany-Costa Rica match that opened the tournament. While the graphics were all in some Asian language, I found myself standing there for 10 minutes of my lunch hour watching as 22 men kicked the ball around an oversized field. And I was hooked.
Since then, I've found myself checking the scoreboard on CNNSI.com every couple of hours; and when I saw Sweden and Trinidad and Tobago tied with 15 minutes left on Saturday, I actually stopped what I was doing, turned on the TV and watched as these two inept teams failed to score. And what's even crazier, I found myself actually cheering for the men from Trinidad and Tobago ? slightly smaller and Delaware with only 1 million people, the smallest nation ever to qualify for the World Cup ? and chuckling as the Swedish fans crumbled in agony in the stands when their 0-0 tie was official. With Sweden playing one man up the entire second half, how could you not cheer for the underdogs?
I have no hopes for the United States in this tournament, but I know that at noon on Monday I'll be watching the "matchcast" on CNNSI.com and pulling for the Yanks. And who knows ? if Trinidad and Tobago can salvage a tie against a long-time participant who actually finished second when they hosted the World Cup in 1958. Thank God I've developed some interest ? I don't think I could take another two weeks of relying on the NBA and NHL Finals to keep me awake. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
History lesson: After Poland lost in the World Cup to Ecuador, 2-0, Andrzej Jania, a construction foreman, said this to the New York Times: "This is the worst moment in Poland's history." Yes, much worse than Sept. 1, 1939, or Auschwitz.-- Jim Buzinski
Heat melt in Dallas: Speaking of which. The Miami Heat are in a whole heap of trouble, after losing their second convincing NBA Finals game to the Dallas Mavericks. On Sunday, they just couldn't feed Shaq, who finished with a miserable 5 points and hit only one of seven freethrows. And who said hack-a-Shaq was dead?
It will be interesting to see how the Heat respond back home in Miami. My guess is they'll dominate Game 3 and Game 4 is where the series will be decided. If the Heat can win two straight in Miami, then they'll have a legit shot of winning; if not ? well, I just don't see a team with Shaq as one of its two anchors being able to come back from a 3-1 deficit facing two games on the road. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
Fighting Irish: Notre Dame safety Tom Zbikowski fulfilled his dream Saturday when he fought a pro boxing match in Madison Square Garden. Zbikowski, a heavyweight, needed only 49 seconds of the first round before winning on a TKO over Robert Bell (See Indianapolis Star photo). Zbikowski gets to keep the $25,000 he won, since NCAA rules allow an athlete to be pro in another sport as long as he doesn't accept endorsement money.
Bell, not a rocket scientist, came into the ring wearing an Ohio State jersey. Ohio State beat Notre Dame in January's Fiesta Bowl. Asked if the jersey motivated him, Zbikowski said, "You saw what I did." Said teammate Brady Quinn: "Winning this fight erase any memories of the Fiesta Bowl Bell wearing that jersey made it all the sweeter for us." Quinn was there along with receiver Jeff Smardzija and other players, making it one uber-hot cheering section. --Jim Buzinski
6.10.2006
World Cup kicks off: After months of hype, numerous stories about English hooligans, German prostitutes and Americans who don't give a damn, the football World Cup kicked off on Friday. My digital recorder proved its worth once again as I recorded both matches on offer while at work and watched them when I got home.
First up was an interesting match on paper between hosts Germany and Costa Rica in Munich's terrific Allianz Arena. German manager Jurgen Klinsmann has been something of whipping boy in the German media, largely because he lives in California and not Bavaria. How dare he! His decision not to start talismanic midfielder Michael Ballack --who isn't worthy to hold Thomas Hitzlsperger's jock in the looks department-- was widely critized but it all worked out in the end as Germany ran out 4-2 winners.
Philip Lahm, who plays his club football for Bayern Munich, calmed German nerves with a superb tournament opening goal. A mere six minutes later, however, those nerves were jangled as Paulo Wanchope beat a poorly done offside trap and fired a perfect low shot in to German 'keeper Jens Lehmann's net. Miroslav Klose scored twice for Germany, in the 17th and 61st minutes, seemingly putting the match out of reach.
Costa Rican goalkeeper Jose Porras will have nightmares about the second one, as he made a save on a Klose header but dumped the rebound right on to Klose's foot and the Werder Bremen man didn't miss the gift. An exchange of goals in the last 20 minutes ended a very entertaining opening match. Germany has to be pleased, as they will probably get Michael Ballack back for their next match on Wednesday against Poland. However, they have to tighten their defense and 'keeper Lehmann sprained his ankle, so that could be a worry.
The other match on my DVR saw Poland playing unfancied Ecuador in Gelsenkirchen. In one of those interesting bits of trivia that I love, the local Gelsenkirchen side, Schalke 04, was founded by Polish miners in --wait for it-- 1904. Pundits *cough* me *cough* before the match focused a lot on the fact that Ecuador plays their home matches at 9,000 feet above sea level and would the plucky South Americans be able to compete in the lowlands of Germany. After leaving Gelsenkirchen 2-0 winners, I believe we have our answer.
What a strange match! Poland dominated possession but they lacked that last bit of sparkle in front of goal. Carlos Tenorio headed past gorgeous Polish 'keeper Artur Boruc in the 24th minute and it was basically "play defense" for Ecuador after that. Poland was simply awful on corners and free kicks and in the 80th minute, they paid for it, when their lame offside trap was shredded and Agustin Delgado had only to tap the ball in the net for a 2-0 lead. To my amazement, Poland actually picked up their game at that point but their day of futility was summed up by the two shots that hit the woodwork in the last five minutes. The vastly outnumbered Ecuadorean fans were dancing in the aisles and rightly so. Poland desperately needed someone like Miroslav Klose, who was born in Poland to Polish parents but became a German citizen as a youngster.
So, the first day of the World Cup is in the bag. I have to note the sheer awfulness of the play-by-play guy for ESPN in the Germany v. Costa Rica match. Dave O'Brien is the deadly combo of annoying voice and "EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IS THE END OF THE WORLD" kind of hysterical reporting style. I'm so used to the sublime English football announcers that I gladly listen to on Premiership broadcasts that O'Brien is like fingernails on the chalkboard. The English announcers only get excited when something important actually happens and best of all, are content to be silent and let the picture do the talking when appropriate. Saturday brings England's first match against Paraguay and the DVR is ready to record the 6:00 am (Pacific) start. Go Enger-lund! --Jim Allen
6.9.2006
*Gasp* Steroids in baseball?!?!: Ever since Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa chased the single season home run record in 1998, the use of steroids and designer performance enhancing drugs have been a constant story in baseball. Events this week have taken this story to another level, however.
Jason Grimsley is an utterly mediocre pitcher who has bounced around the major leagues since 1989 with seven different teams, including a stint in 1996 with the California Angels (we Angels fans called him Ross Grim due to his crappy pitching for the Halos). On Tuesday, a copy of an affidavit was released, after Grimsley's house was raided by federal agents. From information contained in this affidavit in support of a search warrant, it appears that Grimsley's greatest talent was helping other players score amphetamines and performance-enchancers like Human Growth Hormone (HGH). In a major breach of etiquette, Grimsley named names; the affidavit has blacked out names that has Photoshop sleuths trying to find out the identify of.
Drugs of all sorts aren't new to baseball obviously; Doc Ellis of the Pittsburgh Pirates pitched a no-hitter against the San Diego Padres in 1970 while blazing on LSD and cocaine was an avalance in numerous clubhouses in the 1980's. Steroids have been common since at least the early 1990's, of course.
What's different about the Grimsley case is twofold: it sheds light on the use of amphetamines in the sport, even though they been around since, like, forever and the fact that Grimsley named the names of fellow players. Speed has been a documented staple of major league clubhouses since at least the 1930's, as it helps players cope with the long, grinding baseball season. Per the affidavit, it seems like "greenies" are as much a part of the clubhouses as post-game food spreads.
The "naming names" part of this is where it gets interesting. HGH is currently undetectable in tests, so it's no surprise that it forms a big part of why Grimsley was grilled by the feds. Expect more revelations and scandal and blackening of baseball's name. --Jim Allen
6.8.2006
Church of Scientology sponsors NASCAR entry: For years, actors and writers in Hollywood have known that a "quick" way to get a gig in TV or film is to join the Church of Scientology. Counting some of Hollywood's elite as members, for an entrance fee of a mere $30,000 or so, Scientology can get you a writing job on "Grey's Anatomy" or a guest-star role on "Lost." But can they get you a win in a NASCAR event?
That's what Kenton Gray, a 35-year-old aspiring race-car driver will find out Saturday when he enters a lower-level NASCAR race with the words "Dianetics" on the hood of his car. "Dianetics" is the L. Ron Hubbard book that is a first step in the teachings of Scientology, which teaches, among other things, that we are all aliens.
Maybe some of that alien technology will find its way into Gray's car. Or maybe Tom Cruise will show up to teach Gray how to drive the car. But with Xenu and Tom Cruise on your side, how can you lose? -Cyd Zeigler jr.
Oilers running out of chances: When you're the visiting team in a best-of-seven series, you have got to pounce on opportunities when they present themselves. The Edmonton Oilers' choke of a three-point second period lead on Monday night is going to haunt them the rest of this series, especially after losing game 2, 5-0, to a team from North Carolina.
Here's the deal. In a best-of-seven series, the visiting team gets three home games. All the favored team has to do is win all of its home games, and they win the series; the visiting team gets four chances to take one of the road games they MUST win to win the series. Now that the Oilers are down, 2-0, in the series, they will only get two more chances to win a game in Raleigh, or they will lose the series.
The Hurricanes have a lot to be excited about. Their shutout win was engineered by rookie goaltender Cam Ward, who became the first rookie to record a shutout in the Stanley Cup finals since Montreal's Patrick Roy did it in 1986.
There is still time for the Oilers, but chances are the NHL won't let Wayne Gretzky dust off his old jersey and don the skates one last time. With their backs against the wall, we'll see if the Oilers, the first No. 8 seed to make it to the Stanley Cup Finals, can make this first season back from strike a Cinderella story. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.7.2006
The Outsports Jinx is Alive and Well: Just 36 hours after I declared the women's French Open title Venus Williams' to lose, the former world No. 1 got bounced by the same teenager who knocked of the present No. 1, Amelie Mauresmo (yes, that one), just a couple days before. You know the TV execs loved that some Czech chick named Nicole Vaidisova is in, and Venus Williams is out.
I'm hoping Roger Federer wins the men's side, so here goes: The men's tournament is Rafael Nadal's to lose. Bet the house, bet the farm, bet your next ex-boyfriend ? Nadal's winning it all. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
Wonder what favors you can get for a World Cup ticket? Thanks to the Independent of London for this great tidbit. According to a survey by Braun, one in ten men in London would sell an internal organ; a third would sell their partner's shoe collection; and nearly half would give up sex for a ticket to the World Cup.
That settles it: Tell your boyfriend that sports are officially better than sex. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.5.2006
Nadal has a banana stuck in his throat: It's not every day you get to write that headline. Rafael Nadal, who has won a record 55 straight matches on clay, paused his third round French Open match against Frenchman Paul-Henri Mathieu by walking to his chair in the middle of a game, sitting down and holding up a banana peel, pointing to his throat, calling for help. It seems he had eaten a banana between games and a piece of banana was caught in his throat. No word yet if it was good for the banana.
Openly lesbian Amelie Mauresmo won't win her second Grand Slam tournament in France this year; the No. 1 seeded Mauresmo lost to No. 16 Nicole Vaidisova in the fourth round at Roland Garos. That opens up the tournament for No. 11 Venus Williams, who gets a crack at Vaidisova in the quarterfinals. Williams was the runner-up at the French Open in 2002, losing to her sister Serena. Venus' last clay-court championship came last year in a French Open warm-up tournament in Turkey against, you guessed it, Vaidisova.
A gay quarterback on the WB: While the show has been cancelled and won't air again once the WB and UPN become the CW, it's of interest to note that the WB's "Pepper Dennis" tackled the issue of gays in sports last Tuesday night. If you haven't caught the show, it centers around TV reporter Pepper Dennis (Rebecca Romijn), who's always looking for a great story ? and love. In last week's episode, she finds both in the quarterback of the Chicago Cheetahs, the Windy City's pro football team.
Soon after beginning a romance with the quarterback, Dennis learns her new beau is actually gay, and his ex-boyfriend will soon be releasing a tell-all book about his relationship with the star quarterback.
The episode was not particularly insightful. It's hard to believe that the quarterback would decide to come out of the closet because a reporter gives him a rainbow key chain; it's tough to see a guy who's been hiding and fake-dating women all his life suddenly uncomfortable when a hot blonde model makes advances toward him. Still, it's good to see Hollywood being more and more willing to show gay athletes and try to address the intricacies of the life-altering decisions they have to make. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
6.3.2006
Friday quick hits: The Detroit Pistons run as the NBA Eastern Conference champions came to an end on Friday. The Miami Heat overwhelmed the Pistons 95-78 in Miami and will now meet the winner of the Suns/Mavericks series. As a long time Los Angeles Lakers fan, it's good to see Pat Riley doing well. He's done a great job assembling this edition of the Heat, surrounding Shaquille O'Neal and Dwayne Wade with excellent role players like Jason Williams, Gary Payton and Antoine Walker. After the ghastly, dull Knicks teams of the 1990's, it's nice to see him in charge of a team with some flair and style.
I used to be a real rah-rah type for the real football (aka soccer). I'd tell all my sports-loving friends what a great sport it was, how much history it had, blah blah blah. Like talking to a brick wall, it was. I gave up a few years ago and I'm much happier for it. However, an item Jim B. sent me has me wondering if I'm the only American who actually cares about the upcoming World Cup outside of people who are paid to care about it, like writers.
According to a firm called Global Market Insite, a staggering 56 who people polled who claimed they were looking forward to the tournament *didn't know it was being played in Germany*. Further, only 11 percent said they were going to watch it on television. The hell? That's shocking results. I don't care how the American team does in Germany -- Go England! -- but oh how I'll laugh if the U.S. makes a run and gets to the quarterfinals or beyond. The bandwagons will crash in to ditches from all the clueless jumping on.
Speaking of supporters of the England squad, the Foreign Office has had to issue reminders to the core of blockheads that follow the team abroad that mimicking Nazi salutes, or using a finger across the upper lip to simulate Hitler's moustache could cause the idiot that does something like that to end in jail. Germany, rightly so, has very strict laws against that sort of thing and it's not something that's taken lightly. I strongly suspect that most U.S. media people want nothing more than 10,000 English fans to rampage through Germany, goosestepping all the way, before meeting up with 10,000 German fans to reenact the battle of the Somme, but I really hope it doesn't come to that. Though I can't stand NASCAR, I understand completely when fans complain that all the extremely casual fan cares about is the fiery wrecks (see: my brother John). --Jim Allen
6.2.2006
Stanley Cup finalists set: One of my favorite lyrics is courtesy of Led Zeppelin's Robert Plant, who opined in the great song In the Light that "when love is pain/it can devour you". Percy Plant might have written that lyric with Buffalo Sabres fans in mind.
The Sabres had a bad start to the 00's but in the last couple of years have put together a good team. Down 3-2 in their NHL semifinal series against the Carolina Hurricanes, the Sabres pulled off a great victory at home on Tuesday, winning 2-1 in overtime. On Thursday in Raleigh, North Carolina, they were leading 2-1 and came within 8:38 of completing a great comeback. Unfortunately for Buffalo, a silly penalty by Brian Campbell was the start of their downfall.
A puck over glass penalty (aka delay of game) against Campbell was converted by the 'canes in to a power play goal by captain Rod Brind'Amour. The goal gave Carolina a lead they never gave up, as they won 4-2. But it's *how* Brind'Amour scored the goal that will give Sabres fans nightmares for years: goalie Ryan Miller made a save and the puck slid under defenseman Rory Fitzpatrick, who'd lost track of it. As I watched this live, I leaned forward because the puck just seemed to sit there, motionless, for ages. Brind'Amour pounced and the Carolina Hurricanes, formerly the Hartford Whalers, get a chance to win the Stanley Cup. They'll play the Edmonton Oilers starting Monday. Since I'm very pro-"there should be more NHL teams in Canada", go Oilers!
God Squad: I've been an atheist since I was 12 and the subsequent 35 years have seen me loathe religion with all the fire of all the suns in this universe and the other 10 or 11 that string theory predicts exist. One of the manifestations of that is very common in sports.
We've all seen it: a team wins a big game and a field reporter shoves a microphone in a players gob. The first words out of the players mouth are a variation on "I'd like to thank the Lord Jesus, my personal savior, for allowing us to win". I just roll my eyes at this bit of human hubris --I find the idea that if God exists that She'd care about who wins a freaking baseball game offensive-- but, hey, whatever. In a USA Today article that's causing ripples, the Colorado Rockies owners and management come across as a bunch of men with a severe case of smug superiority. Upper management has, for the first time, talked about how they are trying to build a team of "moral character", i.e. Christian-oriented players.
What's classic about the quotes from Rockies execs is how absurd they sound. "You look at things that have happened to us this year" said general manager Dan O'Dowd. "You look at some of the moves we made and didn't make. You look at some of the games we're winning. Those aren't just a coincidence. God has definitely had a hand in this". To quote the immortal Bugs Bunny: "Oh Guinnevere!". Note: the Rockies are a respectable 27-26 so far, four games behind first place Arizona in their division.
Since the story has come out, Rockies players have distanced themselves from the USA Today story. Pitcher Aaron Cook said "I think the story was an accurate portrayal of the front office (view of religion). But as for the players, it was just way over the top". Translation: Hell yeah, we still look at Playboy on the team bus. I have no illusions that pro athletes are moral paragons in the slightest; reading Jim Bouton's great Ball Four, with its tales of players drilling holes in dugouts so they could peak up women's dresses shattered all such illusions at the age of 13. Sure, it'd be nice to see fewer athletes involved in drunken brawls, police problems, sexual and physical assault cases against women etc. etc. but there's something a bit creepy and cult-like to the Rockies front office claiming that God is helping them win ballgames. --Jim Allen
6.1.2006
Gay Powerlifter Sets Record: John Hudson, an openly gay powerlifter from Illinois, set a world record in the deadlift for the Master 40-46 age division of the superheavyweight class with a lift of 701.9 pounds, Saturday at a meet in Minneapolis. Earlier in the day, Hudson also set a new Illinois state record in the bench
press with a lift of 677.7 pounds.
Hudson, 40, isn't any dumb jock. He's a visiting lecturer at the Intensive English Institute of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, where he is also head of the Academic Reading and Writing Component of the IEI. He is also completing a PhD at UIUC in Writing Studies. Hudson started weight training when he was 14, and has been powerlifting for 21 years. At the Minneapolis meet, he took first place in the bench, lifting 677.7 pounds (that is not a misprint), winning in the Open and Master 40-46 divisions at superheavyweight (Hudson weighed 311 pounds). He was named Outstanding Lifter for masters 40-46.
"I've had very few negative experiences in the sport in connection to being out," Hudson said. "As a whole, regardless of their socio-political leanings, powerlifters tend to judge other lifters based on their effort,
accomplishments, and their contributions to the sport. My partner, who is not a lifter, often attends my competitions and has always been
treated in a respectful and friendly way by other lifters."
"Gay powerlifter." Can there be any title that more demolishes the stereotype of gay men as weak? Congratulations to Hudson. You can check out Hudson's profile at the Illinois powerlifting website.
Armstrong Cleared: Cycling champ Lance Armstrong has been cleared of allegations that he was doping during the 1999 Tour de France. A French newspaper reported that Armstrong used a blood-boosting drug EPO, but a lawyer who led the investigation by the International Cycling Union said the testing procedures at the French could not determine that Armstrong's samples were positive. "The report confirms my innocence," said Armstrong, who is now retired after winning seven consecutive Tour de Frances.
The head of the world doping agency, Dick Pound, was singled out for criticism by Armstrong, and the Canadian fired back. "It's clearly everything we feared," Pound told The Associated Press from Montreal. "There was no interest in determining whether the samples Armstrong provided were positive or not. We were afraid of that from the very beginning. Whether the samples were positive or not, I don't know how a Dutch lawyer with no expertise came to a conclusion that one of the leading laboratories in the world messed up on the analysis. To say Armstrong is totally exonerated seems strange."
The problem with doping is that it is so widespread and so easy to mask that we will never learn the truth about any particular athlete. The cheaters are always ahead of the testers and even people like Barry Bonds still insist they have not taken steroids. As for Armstong, I have always been suspicious of his denials in a sport where athletes estimated a high percentage of elite cyclists are on something. On the other hand, even if he did ever dope, this does not diminish his accomplishments since it can be argued that he did compete on a level playing field if other competitors were also doping. This report allows him to proclaim his innocence and in the absence of contradictory evidence, he is innocent until shown otherwise. --Jim Buzinski
5.31.2006
Sex and the World Cup: From the terrific World Cup Blog, a must-bookmark for any soccer fan, we learn that the Ukrainian coach has promised his team they can have sex with their wives if they reach the semifinals. "I would personally send my players to see their wives if we reach the semis. Those who don?t feel like it, I?ll just drag to their wives. Take my word for it," Oleg Blokhin told Russian daily Sport-Express on Tuesday.
Big deal. I had the same reaction as World Cup Blog: "But if you think about it, is this really an incentive? If Ukraine loses in the first round its players will get to go home and have all the fun they want anyway." Plus, who's to say these guys wouldn't want to have sex with some hot German fraulein or one of their teammates instead?
The blog also tells us the preparation being made in one town for the religiously strict Saudis: "The team hotel which will remove all alcohol and pay-per-view adult movies from the players? rooms. Also coming down are five art nouveau paintings featuring naked boys wearing wings." In contrast, Luis Felipe Scolaro, the coach of pre-tourney favorite Brazil has a more permissive view: "I don?t think that sex one day before the game will have any harm on the player. Just sex, no problem. The problem is, they don?t eat, they don?t sleep, they smoke and they drink. That is the problem. Sex? No, sex is always very good ? always welcome." No wonder the Brazilians always play with a certain flair. --Jim Buzinski
5.30.2006
Gay Hockey Fans: An old joke goes like this ? why do Canadians have sex doggie style? So they both can watch the hockey game. In Canada, hockey is a national religion, and gays are no less passionate about the game, especially in Edmonton, where the Oilers have reached the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1990.
Woody's Pub is ground zero for hockey-loving gay fans, the Edmonton Journal reports. "This is like the gay man's Cheers," said Murray Billett, a longtime Edmonton gay activist, in a fun article by Scott McKeen. "Speaking of stereotypes, what's with these gay guys watching hockey? Aren't they supposed to be at the art gallery or at home, decorating?" McKeen writes. "In the past few years I've written extensively in support of gay rights and gay marriage. Yet I'm still a bit guilty of seeing gay men in Will-and-Grace stereotypes. Billett is six-foot-four. He grew up on a farm in Saskatchewan, drove trucks and played hockey. He's not so unique, it turns out. Just Google the words gay and hockey and you'll come up with ample evidence that gay men don't just like watching hockey, but playing it.
"Leagues exist all over the world. According to numerous accounts, the gay game of hockey is just as rough, just as likely to feature elbows, high sticks and fighting. 'Hit him -- HIT HIM!' yells the guy next to me. The other reason I'm at Woodys to watch this game? To be honest, I enjoy the company of gay men. Let me rephrase. The gay men I've met over the years were all smart, articulate, well read and damn funny. No doubt, dour and ignorant gay men exist. But I've yet to meet one."
Killed for Wearing Shorts: Religious extremism struck again in Iraq this weekend when a tennis coach and two of his players were shot to death in Baghdad for wearing shorts. Gunmen stopped a car carrying the Sunni Arab coach and two Shiite players, asked them to step out and then shot them, Manham Kubba secretary-general of the Iraqi Tennis Union, told the Associated Press. Extremists had distributed leaflets warning people in the mostly Sunni neighborhoods of Saidiyah and Ghazaliyah not to wear shorts, police said. "Wearing shorts by youth are prohibited because it violates the principles of Islamic religion when showing forbidden parts of the body. Also women should wear the veil," the leaflets said.
A Sunni Muslim cleric denounced the killings, saying, "Islamic religion is an easy religion and it allows wearing sport shorts as long as they don't show the forbidden parts of the body, so the acts that are targeting the sport are criminal." The killings are another disturbing sign of the kind of religious fanaticism gripping the country, that includes attacks on gays. --Jim Buzinski
5.27.2006
Friday quick hits: Ah, the Minnesota Vikings sex boat scandal from last year, a boon to snark merchants everywhere! Of course, for the people involved, it wasn't so funny. Former Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper, prior to leaving for the warmer climes of Miami, was not charged; former Vikings running back Moe Williams was convicted of disorderly conduct last month. On Friday, the case finished the legal system phase: cornerback Fred Smoot and tackle Bryant McKinnie plead guilty and will pay a fine, do community service and pay court costs. The NFL can still levy penalties against the players; the collective bargaining agreement prohibits the Vikings from piling on too.
The French Open and Wimbledon got a little less interesting on Friday when Serena Williams withdrew from both tournaments this year due to a chronic knee problem. Serena won the ladies singles at Wimbledon in 2002 and 2003 but has played just four matches in the last eight months. Sports like tennis desperately need their big stars to be healthy to keep interest up among casual fans [Jim Allen raises hand] so it's a drag that Serena won't have the chance to possibly curtsy to the Duchess of Kent at Centre Court this year.
You might have heard a cry of anguish in the universe today. It came from England, where football (soccer) fans were waiting anxiously to see whether the broken foot of Wayne Rooney had healed enough to allow him to play in the upcoming World Cup. The answer: sort of. He will definitely miss the group games, and if, as expected, England make it through to the Round of 16, he might be able to play then. Rooney is vital to England's chances but I get a really bad vibe about this. Now, sure, I'm still bitter that he left my beloved Everton to chase the huge pay packet at bloody Manchester United, but this guy is a rare talent, one of those players that can just dominate a game. He's still only 20, so he has at least two more chances at playing in a World Cup; it seems foolish to rush him back so quickly and risk permanent injury. In the end, England is going to flame out in the quarterfinals or something anyways, their fans will clog suicide hotlines for weeks, the press will be braying for all the players to be drawn and quartered in Trafalgar Square for "betraying the country" etc. etc., so it just seems a little shortsighted. --Jim Allen
5.26.2006
Royals blues: A slow day in sports -- OK, the Detroit Pistons won to even up their NBA playoff series with the Miami Heat at 1-1 and the Anaheim Mighty Ducks postponed their inevitible elimination from the Stanley Cup playoffs by beating the Edmonton Oilers to trail 3-1 in that series -- so today's topic will be a really bad team. Really, really bad.
My first boyfriend, Robert, spent part of his childhood in Kansas City and was a huge Kansas City Royals and Chiefs fan. When we were together, in the mid-80's, the Royals were a consistently excellent team, ultimately winning the World Series in 1985. At the time, the Royals were in the same division as my favorite team, the California Angels, so there were some, shall we say, spirited dicussions about baseball between Robert and I. Were he still around today, Robert would be gnashing his teeth at how awful his beloved Royals are.
How bad are the Royals in 2006? After scoring six runs in the first inning at home to the Detroit Tigers on Thursday, the Royals ended up losing 13-8. It was their 13th consecutive loss, driving their record this season to 10-35. If they keep up this pace, they will easily top the 1962 New York Mets (40-120) for the worst record by a team in the modern era (i.e. post-1903); that pace works out to a truly horrific 36-126. Denny McClain won 31 games for the 1968 Tigers, to put that in perspective.
What's gone so horribly wrong in Kansas City? "They're a small market team, they can't compete financially" is the usual cause cited. That's true to an extent, though the fact that the Florida Marlins and Arizona Diamondbacks have won titles in the last five seasons while playing in mid-sized markets kind of undercuts that argument. No, it looks like the real reason is something that, as an Angels fan, I'm used to: a bad owner.
Despite all the hoo-hah that surrounded him, I've long thought that Gene Autrey was a terrible owner during his Angels ownership days, and the Royals David Glass seems like a midwest version of Autrey. It's the classic dilemma in a sport with no meaningful revenue sharing: the small-market team can't afford to pay massive salaries for long term contracts with its young stars, who leave or are traded away, causing the team to lose consistently, thus driving away fans and potential free agent signings.
It's a vicious circle and a situation that current Royals ownership seems unwilling or unable to change. It's sad to see once great franchises struggle like the Royals and it's not good for baseball as a whole either. Of course, the team has immortality in its grasp, even if that's pegged to being the biggest bunch of losers ever, so expect them to choke and pull off a 10 game winning streak or two during the course of the season and end up winning 41 games. --Jim Allen
5.25.2006
Pat Robertson, Superman: Televangelist and general all-around homophobic kook Pat Robertson claims he can leg press 2,000 pounds. "Did you know that Pat Robertson can leg press 2,000 pounds?" his website said. "How does he do it? Where does Pat find the time and energy to host a daily, national TV show, head a world-wide ministry, develop visionary scholars, while traveling the globe as a statesman? One of Pat's secrets to keeping his energy high and his vitality soaring is his age-defying protein shake. Pat developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing nutrients. Discover what kinds of natural ingredients make up Pat's protein shake by registering for your FREE booklet today!"
Clay Travis, writing for CBS Sportsline, called Robertson out. "There is no way on earth Robertson leg presses 2,000 pounds. That would mean a 76-year-old man broke the all-time Florida State University leg press record by 665 pounds over Dan Kendra [who did 1,335 pounds]. 665 pounds. Further, when he set the record, they had to modify the leg press machine to fit 1,335 pounds of weight. Plus, Kendra's capillaries in his eyes burst. Burst. Where in the world did Robertson even find a machine that could hold 2,000 pounds at one time? And how does he still have vision?"
Amazingly, Robertson's spokesman stood by the 2,000-pound claim and insists that Robertson's doctor can leg press 2,700 pounds. Talk about muscular Christianity. The best comment came from a weightlifter posting on Wonkette: "If he comes to my gym and leg presses 2000 pounds, I will **** him. Seriously. If he wants. Or if he prefers, I will pray with him. Holding his actual slimy hands."
This is the same Robertson who said about Orlando holding gay days: "A condition like this will bring about ... earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor." Sounds like a job for Super Pat.
Suns Steal Game 1: Boris Diaw hit the game-winning shot with .5 seconds remaining to give the Phoenix Suns a thrilling 121-118 win over the host Dallas Mavericks in Game 1 of their Western Conference finals. If the rest of the series plays out like this, it will be good to the last shot. --Jim Buzinski
5.24.2006
Sports and gay advertising ? a winning combination: The Commercial Closet Association held its annual awards ceremony at the Time Warner Center in New York City Tuesday night, and sports had a definite presence at the event. The Commercial Closet was founded by and is run by Mike Wilke to monitor gay-themed advertising and educate advertisers about gay issues.
Andrew Tagliabue, son of NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue, took home an award for the PFLAG "Stay Close" campaign he co-founded. The campaign features famous people (e.g., Cindy Lauper and Ben Affleck) with their gay relatives. Andrew told me that they are working on getting a top NFL personality to appear in the campaign and said that it's not outside the question that he and his father might appear in the campaign at some point. The NFL commissioner is stepping down this year, and his present expected date is Aug. 18.
ESPN also took home an award for their "Sports is my orientation" campaign (left). In accepting the award, the ESPN representative (who was not introduced) painted ESPN as a company that welcomes anyone, "as long as you're a sports fan." The ad ran in Diversity Inc., and was used as a recruiting tool.
Despite all of the problems the sports world has seemed to have with gay issues, it's great to see people and companies associated with sports stepping up and putting gay-positive images in the media. It's something you just wouldn't have seen 10 years ago, and it really reflects the changing attitudes in sports and our culture in general. -Cyd Zeigler jr.
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