Hockey

That’s What Friends Are For
NY Lions take Recreational Title at 2002 Friendship Tournament in Toronto

By Wyman Meers 

Canada is to America that most rare of creatures: a neighbor you actually like. Canada and America share many things between the longest undefended border of any two governments worldwide, enjoying a sibling rivalry that manifests itself as a cultural tug of war wherein the two countries exchange influences that range from Canada’s gaycentric Kids In The Hall and love-her-or-hate-her Celine Dion to the United States’ grandiose Hollywood dream and fast food chains. America has given Canada its national past time and watched like a bemused parent as baseball’s Montreal Expos valiantly struggle from season to season. Not to be outdone, Canada too has exported its national past time to their southern neighbor, appropriately appreciative as they kick America’s ass in the ice hockey rink every four years at the Winter Olympics. There is no exception to this rule within the world of organized recreational gay sports leagues, where international passions were ignited once again in October 2002 as the Toronto Gay Hockey Association [TGHA] hosted gay hockey teams from across North America for their 8th Annual Friendship Tournament.

“The tournament is held each year in gay-friendly Toronto during the combined Canadian Thanksgiving and U.S. Columbus Day Weekend,” explains Mike Daniels, 2002-2003 Tournament Coordinator for the TGHA. “We had 155 players in the tournament this year, on a total of twelve teams in three divisions – Competitive, Recreational, and Developmental.”

Daniels, who also participated in the tournament as playing coach and captain of the Toronto Ice Storm, is pleased to know that his organization serves as an inspiration for the creation of other gay hockey leagues. Cities that now participate in the Friendship Tournament, such as New York, evolved in part because of Toronto’s influence.

“Over the years, the tournament has gradually expanded in size as gay hockey leagues and teams have sprung up across North America. It’s great to see gay hockey growing, and I’m happy that the TGHA has helped in this growth, if even in a small way,” he humbly offers. Meanwhile, other tournament participants are slightly more direct.

“Toronto was a great time,” says Charlie Mulkeen, 34-year-old defenseman for the NY Lions, champions of the Friendship Tournament’s Recreational Division. “We competed in so many games in just a few days. The Friendship Tournament also organized activities to get participants from different teams to mix socially. It was interesting to be around so many gay men who were into playing hockey. I think if I were coming from a place where there wasn’t enough interest to support a gay team, I’d be even more excited in such an environment as Toronto’s tournament.”

“The prospect of playing on a gay team made me realize how much I missed skating,” continues Mulkeen, who returned to hockey only a couple years ago for the first time since he was a child. “I was terrible when I started playing again, falling flat on my face nearly every shift, but my teammates convinced me [to stay in the game] with encouraging words.” Good thing, for at this tournament Mulkeen scored a hat trick in the final that helped lead his team to victory. Mulkeen was hesitant to comment on himself, however, choosing instead to focus on the NY Lions as a whole.

“It is my understanding that New York hasn’t been very successful in past gay tournaments. I’m quite proud to have been part of the first New York team to win up in Toronto.”

The NY Lions’ success was not limited solely to their championship run. As with probably every team that made their way to Toronto in October, the NY Lions embody the Friendship Tournament’s ideals of camaraderie and inclusion not only as combatants but also within their own ranks.

28-year-old Jason Fabro plays center for the NY Lions. He only recently began playing in organized leagues, but grew up playing pick-up hockey in parks, schools, and outdoor rinks. Fabro is among the small percentage of players in the Friendship Tournament who are heterosexual.

“It’s no different than being a straight player on a straight team, except that we may fight over what bar to go to afterwards,” jokes Fabro when asked about the experience of playing in predominantly gay leagues and tournaments. “Athletics, competition, and participation in sport should be about spirit, drive, skill, and mental strength – not about an individual’s sexuality.”

Fabro’s easy-going attitude is clearly a reflection of the values given to him by his parents, who live in the Toronto area and came to watch their son win the Recreational title. “To my parents, hockey is hockey. When I mentioned I was on a predominantly gay team and in a gay hockey tournament, their only concern was whether or not we thought we could win and if they could come watch.”

Indeed, the NY Lions thought they were capable of winning and proved themselves correct by performing as a cohesive unit, rather than as a group of collected individuals. Concludes Fabro, “knowing that the Lions now have the ability to walk into a tournament and take home the cup, that’s a pretty good thing to be a part of.”

This team mentality is evident in every player on the NY Lions, from captain Jeff Kagan on down. It is the common denominator that links the men together in the midst of battle and is equally significant to players whose experience in gay hockey is vastly different from that of Jason Fabro or Charlie Mulkeen. Casual observers of the Friendship Tournament may assume that all its participants are completely comfortable with their own sexuality, be it heterosexual or homosexual, but such an arrogant mistake would lead to an oversight of some of the tournament’s most valuable players and influences.

“I have suffered in coming to terms with my sexuality and this tournament represented one of the first opportunities in my life to interact and form relationships with other gay people,” says Derek Simpson, a member of the NY Lions whose true identity has been withheld to protect his privacy. He is still in the closet. Although Simpson does worry about his participation in the tournament leading toward others discovering his homosexuality, he knows that bonding with his teammates and expanding his social circle is imperative to attaining a full, healthy personal life. By joining the NY Lions, Derek Simpson has embarked on an initial exploration of open sexuality inside the controlled environment of the New York City Gay Hockey Association and his teammates’ unconditional support. For Derek, who began playing street hockey when he was 10 years old and progressed to ice hockey a few years later, participating in the Friendship Tournament allowed him to merge self-discovery with a component of his personality of which he is completely certain: his love for hockey.

“I remember that my friends and I would be out there shoveling snow off the ice so that we could play as much hockey as possible,” he fondly recalls. Still, Simpson is astute enough to understand that his affection for the sport comes not only from the rush of competition, but also from its convenience as a crutch.

“I do enjoying playing hockey, but I think there have been periods where I played as much to avoid thinking and dealing with issues of social acceptance,” he candidly admits. Certainly being a member of the NY Lions will continue an evolution that will allow Derek Simpson to merge the opposing pieces of his self into one whole, and his personal story ranks among the greatest achievements attained during the tournament. Simpson notes that coming out is a slow process, citing one final advantage to the Friendship 2002. “One of the key factors that helped make it more comfortable is Toronto’s distance from the New York City area. It’s a little easier being 500 miles from home!”

The competitive and the intimate role that Toronto’s Friendship Tournament plays in the lives of its participants is unmistakably clear, regardless of their individual perspectives, but in 2002 the Friendship Tournament served the added purpose of being a warm-up for November’s Gay Games in Sydney Australia. Participating teams the Toronto Ice Storm, NY Lions, and the Competitive Division champion Montreal Parking were expected to make the trip Down Under.

“It gave the games some importance beyond the tournament itself,” admits Mike Daniels when commenting on the Friendship Tournament’s role in preparing teams for Sydney. “The tournament truly embraces the spirit of friendship and, for me, it feels like a yearly meeting of a special community of gay hockey players. I look forward to seeing guys from New York, Montreal, and elsewhere. It’s more fun than spending Thanksgiving with my family, that’s for sure!”

For Mike Daniels and countless others, the community he has found as an extension of his homosexuality could be considered a family of sorts. Gay men and women rely heavily on their peers’ support, whether that is in everyday life or in scoring the winning goal for their team. Mike Daniels, Charlie Mulkeen, Jason Fabro, and Derek Simpson attain this sense of bloodlines via their battles on the ice, but the need for such companionship is universal to every type of human being imaginable. The organizers and players in the 2002 Friendship Tournament understand this better than anyone, and in that knowledge, they are all winners.

Editor's Note:  A month after this tournament, the Lions won the bronze medal at the Gay Games in the A-Rec Division.  You can learn more about them at the NYCGHA Web site.