How We Saw Week 1

Football is back.

Part of the wonder of the National Football League is the fact that we have to wait so long (seven months - the longest offseason by far of the four major pro sports) between seasons.  It "builds up" if you will nicely while we take over 200 days off from our favorite sport.

Week 1 did not disappoint.

I had a couple of "crack picks" temporarily validated by the performance of those teams on the field today.  The Minnesota Vikings went into Green Bay and surprised a lot of people today.  When I picked them to win the division, I felt they had many of the pieces - including a much-improved defense - and the Pack had simply fallen back.  Now, the Purple People Eaters are a giant step ahead of the Boys in Green for that NFC North playoff spot.

But the pick I've gotten the most ribbing for was picking the Houston Texans to win the AFC South.  Thanks to the right arm of David Carr and a defense that could be one of the best in football, they pulled off the biggest upset since the Patriots beat the Rams in the Super Dome by shocking the highly overrated Dolphins.  

After the game, Houston wideout Jabar Gaffney talked about the attitude of the Dolphins players:  "One of their players said, 'I'll see you after today's practice.'  That was their thinking -- they were looking at us like this was just a little practice."  Two things jump to mind:  1) is that the "new" attitude Junior Seau has brought to this team?  And, why did anyone think he'd be this great impact in Miami, anyway?  Have they not been watching the Chargers over the last two years?  2) What the Dolphins, and the rest of the country, hopefully now realize is that the Houston Texans are very real - and, with some luck and skill, will be contending into January.

Oh, and by the way - that vaunted Dolphins defense:  0 interceptions, 0 fumble recoveries, and most strikingly, 0 sacks against an offensive line that set a record for sacks allowed last year.

While the Dolphins must be kicking themselves right now, the worst performance of the week had to have been turned in - yet again - by the Sunday Night Football crew.  Mike Patrick, Joe Theismann and Paul Maguire repeatedly turn in a JV performance while often ripping the varsity team.  Here are a few gems from this week's Raiders-Titans game - just some of my faves, I could go on for a while with them:

- Theismann saying the Titans should let the clock run down while setting up for their last field goal and "take the 5-yard penalty."  Dumbass didn't realize the Titans still had a timeout.
- Mike Patrick calling last year's League MVP "Richie" Gannon.  Why not just call him "Rich," like everybody else?
- Theismann saying that Rich Gannon is the best guy in the two minute drill.  Number of game-winning drives by Rich Gannon last year in the final two minutes:  0.  Number of times last year he failed in a drive in the final two minutes:  2.  Where does Theismann get this stuff?

One guy who did get the two-minute drill right this week:  Carolina's Jake Delhomme.  After watching from the sidelines as Rodney Peete went 4/10 for 19 yards in the first half, Delhomme gave former Panthers defensive coordinator Jack Del Rio (the new Jacksonville head coach )a look he had never seen up close and personal: Delhomme at QB for the Panthers.  While it had seemed that Del Rio was toying with Peete, the QB he coaching against in practice all last year, Del Rio didn't have an answer for Delhomme, who led the Panthers to 24 second half points and a touchdown to Ricky Proehl in the waning seconds of the game.  If Delhomme can spark some magic in Carolina, this team will contend for the division title.

For those of you who caught me on Fox Sports Radio with Kiley & Booms last autumn, I'll be doing "Cyd's Fag Five" on 1200 WOAI's Duel & Booms out of San Antonio show every Friday afternoon.  This week, I got off to a hot start:  4-1, picking the Chiefs, Texans, Vikings, Titans and Patriots against the spread.  Of course, that probably just means bet against me next week.

Finally, a point of clarification on a rule that confuses many.  When a team punts to another team, the kicking team is not allowed to touch the ball first.  If the kicking team does touch the punted ball first, the receiving team cannot lose possession of the ball (it is a kind of a penalty enforcement).  In Sunday Night's game, the Titans punted the ball, then got downfield and touched the ball before any Raider touched the ball.  A Raider then came in and scooped the ball up, sending a couple people I was watching with to scream, "what are you doing?"  The catch:  that Raider can fumble the ball all he wants - because the kicking team touched the ball first, the Raiders are guaranteed possession of the ball, even if they fumble the ball on the play.

You'll see it more than once over the course of the season - and now you can explain it to your friend who is calling the guy on TV a "dumbass."

Simms made his first homoerotic comment before the first quarter ended of the Kansas City Chiefs-San Diego Chargers game. Play-by-play man Greg Gumbel said about the above-mentioned Hochuli that he was in good shape. "He looks it, you can't deny it," Simms replied, then going on about Ed's lack of a gut.

--Dumb-ass homophobe Jeremy Shockey gave an interview to ESPN where the Giants' tight end tried to explain his comments about gays (calling Bill Parcells a homo and saying he didn't want gay teammates). He tried to say he was misquoted, while also saying he was not homophobic. "I don't mind gays as long as I don't have to see it," was one gem. The rest of his comments were too moronic to waste space on.

--Dumb play of the day (there were a lot of them) came from Bengals QB Jon Kitna. Facing a likely sack, Kitna decided to try a two-hand set shot pass that floated like a balloon in the waiting arms of Broncos linebacker Ian Gold for an easy interception return for a score. More plays like this and Kitna will be benched real soon. Same old Bengals despite the new coach and uniforms.

--It's always a mistake to read too much into Week 1 (the last two Super Bowl champs lost their opener), but some signs may have emerged. The Patriots cutting safety Lawyer Milloy and having him go to the Bills may have tipped the balance in the AFC East. Buffalo was the best team I saw on Sunday. ... Green Bay, losers at home to Minnesota, may be facing a long season. The Pack just doesn't look right. ... Pittsburgh may run away with the AFC North. Cincinnati sucks, Baltimore will struggle with a rookie QB and the Browns have taken a step back. .. The Bill Parcells rebuilding job in Dallas will need to wait until he gets a QB. Quincy Carter is lame.

--My fantasy football team, led by Priest Holmes and Daunte Culpepper rolled. Yeah, I know, like anyone else cares.

--I've always thought the recent Miami Dolphins teams were overrated and couldn't understand why people were so high on this year's edition. So who do I pick in my Loser's Pool, where you have to take one team to lose? (If they lose, you stay alive and if they win, you are done.) I took Houston as my loser, figuring the Dolphins would manhandle them. Of course, the one time I want Miami to win, they screw up and lose 21-20. I now hope the Fins lose their next 15.

--Detroit Lions QB Joey Harrington looked terrific (four TDs) vs. Arizona. He looked even better in his tight black undergear afterwards.

--I know St. Louis Rams coach Mike Martz would never wish Kurt Warner ill, but the QB's concussion may be the best thing that happened to the Rams. It will allow Martz to go with the more effective Marc Bulger without having to make a tough decision on Warner. If Bulger delivers, Warner sits (and can't really complain). If Bulger flops, Warner can come back with no one questioning it.

--Referee Ron Blum really pissed me off and was a classic example of the best refs being seldom seen or heard. Blum, working the Oakland-Tennessee game, got more air time than Dr. Phil, calling 28 penalties, many of the ticky-tack nature. His crew then blew a call that incorrectly gave Tennessee a touchdown, and failed to nail the Titans for an obvious roughing penalty that knocked Raider QB Rich Gannon out of the game. And I can't stand the Raiders.