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Column Williams Retires, Speculation Starts For Many, Being Different Equals Being Gay By
Jim Buzinski Let’s get this out of the way quickly: I have no idea if Ricky Williams is gay. But the speculation into his orientation is one of the subtexts to the seemingly bizarre decision by the Miami Dolphins running back to announce his retirement from the NFL just a week before the start of training camp. Williams, 27, announced that he was finished with pro football and will travel the world as he searches for what he wants to do next in his life. ''I'm finally free,'' Williams told the Miami Herald from Hawaii, as he was getting ready to travel Asia. ''I can't remember ever being this happy.''
An NFL star running back, scheduled to make $3.7 million this season, Williams was at his financial and athletic peak. His walking away has left everyone scratching his head and trying to come up with an explanation. Delving into his sexual orientation was a natural topic of inquiry. One can see such speculation from fans on discussion boards, such as the one at Outsports or at the mainstream Miami Herald. Wrote one incensed man on the Herald’s Dolphins board: “He stabbed hundreds of thousands of people in the heart and twisted the knife. For what? So he can hop around the world, smoke grass, and blow Japanese guys with money WE provided to him?” There was a somewhat more sympathetic response on Outsports: “I have to say that thought [that he’s gay] has crossed my mind. I've met him a couple of times down here and he just never struck me as the typical pro-athlete.” In addition, the phrase “Ricky Williams gay” was by far the most popular search term used by Web surfers to find Outsports on Sunday. The search took them to an obscure NFL page of ours from 2000, where we named him our Hot Player for Week 7: “How can you not like a guy who wears a wedding dress on the cover of a national magazine? Or one, who in an interview, thanked all his fans, straight and gay? But this year, how can you not like a guy who has four consecutive 100-yard games, including a 38-carry, 144-yard, two-touchdown effort on Sunday as the Saints beat the Panthers, 24-6? And how can you not like his great smile and those dreadlocks?” The reason for the speculation is that Williams is "different," and in many minds, different might equal gay. The guy wore a wedding dress. He once thanked his gay fans. He liked shopping. He loved to travel. He was introspective. He’s also a 5-10, 228-pound stud. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. It’s a trap we all easily fall into, regardless of orientation. For straight people, Williams’ differences were reasons to mock him, to make him seem less a man, to feminize him. Only real men—100% heterosexuals—play football, so good riddance. This was the theme of many jilted Dolphin fans: “I told you losers he was SOFT!!!! As soft as a baby's butt!!!!” … “What normal man puts on a wedding dress to start his career in the manliest of leagues?” … “A traitorous p*ssy.” … “He use [sic] to fumble too much because of those little girl hands.” For gay people, Williams’ differences gave us hope that maybe he was one of us, someone capable of playing pro football at an elite level, someone to shatter stereotypes. So we looked for the signs that caused our gaydar to go off. And we ignored facts that might be inconvenient, such Williams having a young daughter (Marley) and a young son (Prince.) Or the fact that his introspection is the result of extreme shyness caused by social anxiety disorder, for which he takes medication. Maybe Williams wearing the wedding dress and thanking his gay fans were signs of a man so totally comfortable with his own sexuality that he didn’t have to strike a macho pose and care what others think. I would love if Ricky Williams were gay but only if he were to say so publicly at some point. Speculation, while a fun parlor game, is ultimately unrewarding. Regardless, I will miss someone who was a blast of fresh air in a regimented sport and wish him well in his travels. I’ll leave the last word to Williams, in words that speak to a universal message appealing to all of us: “This is an opportunity to be a real role model. Everyone wants freedom. Human beings aren't supposed to be controlled and told what to do. They're supposed to be given direction and a path. Don't tell me what I can and can't do. Please. … I don't feel like I have to explain myself to anyone. All I end up doing anyway is giving rebuttals, and it is boring. I don't want to do it anymore. That's it. I don't want to do this anymore. If people really care about me, that would be enough for them.''
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